So I was rewatching Jensen's JIB8 panel where he talked about how he had trouble understanding the character dynamics between Dean & Mary and how it didn't feel cohesive to him until that scene in 12x22. That made me think about how polarizing this season is, and how many fans seem to feel that it really wasn't telling a cohesive story. I know you've talked about Dabb's type of storytelling - less story driven and more character driven (please correct me if I'm wrong) 1/2
I never got the second part of this, but I started typing this reply to let you know that, and whoopsie, kept typing… I hope this addresses whatever question you were setting up for in part 2, but if not, let me know…
When you’re an actor, you ARE the character. To Jensen, DEAN IS A REAL PERSON who lives inside his head. He can turn Dean on and off like flipping a switch. He doesn’t have to even really think about it at this point. He doesn’t have to contemplate how Dean might react in certain situations, because to him Dean IS A PERSON that he can BECOME.
Now, if Jensen were to really sit down an THINK about Dean as a separate entity, if he were to try and analyze Dean like a psychiatrist, or if he were to think about Dean and his motivations and emotions in an objective way like meta writers do, HE WOULDN’T BE ABLE TO AUTHENTICALLY PORTRAY DEAN ON SCREEN.
WE DO NOT WANT HIM TO PSYCHOANALYZE DEAN. We want him to keep portraying him as the very authentic embodiment of a real character.
It’s not his JOB to see Dean the way we do. It’s his job to BE Dean for us.
I mean, on some level he must think about Dean as a separate person to Jensen. He has obviously spent a great deal of his life making that character real, because otherwise we wouldn’t be so attached and invested in Dean, you know? But if Jensen truly understood not only Dean’s internal motivations but also the entire future plan for his personal character growth, I think it would change the way he portrays Dean… to the detriment of the story itself.
The fact that, for Jensen, the 12.22 script felt like a revelation to him really makes that fact clear. Because in the story, all through s12, that’s what Dean was struggling to come to grips with. WHY was Mary back? What did Amara mean that this was what he “needed most?” To the character of Dean Winchester, this was his character arc for the entire season. HE DIDN’T KNOW THESE ANSWERS. So why would we expect Jensen to? Because Jensen, while playing Dean for all of us, is mired in actively BEING Dean, and not looking at Dean’s development as some outside objective observer.
That’s the beauty (and frustration) of it right there.
Scenario of if Tyler walked in on you right now, doing exactly what you're doing right now.
… Y’all I DIDN’T WANT ANYONE KNOWING WHAT I’M DOING RIGHT NOW, IT’S. Alright, let’s do this noise. Know this. I blame my body and hormones for the way I am feeling right now.
My head pressed against the wood of my desk as small sobs bubbled out of my chest. The sounds of the video began to replay itself, my brain conjuring up the images and video to match the music. I ignored the sound of the front door opening, too wrapped up in my own thoughts to care.
“No no no, love, you were fine when I left,” I heard the rushed voice, a hand falling against my thigh as the chair next to me creaked. I looked up, the smile on Tyler’s face betraying the way his eyebrows etched together in concern. I moved instantly, my arms wrapping themselves around his neck to steady myself on his lap, my tears now falling on his clothed shoulder, his fingers immediately combing through my hair as to sooth me.
I heard him sigh deeply before the arm that was wrapped around my waist moved around, the sounds of the video shutting off with a single click. “you know you can’t watch those videos right now love,” he mumbled softly, gently rocking me in his arms. “told you that before I left.” I raised my face slowly, a small hiccup bubbling from my throat.
“I thought it was just a dog eating hamburgers,” I mumbled out, his hand reaching out to cradle my head yet again as fresh tears formed. “They bought him hamburgers before he, he-” he shushed me down yet again, giving me a few minutes before my sobs turned to silence.
“You’ve seen this video thousands of times,” he reminded, his lips pressing against the top of my head before continuing to mumble. “how does it still do this to you?” I kindly ignored his speech, moving so my face fell in front of his. He rolled his eyes as my palms fell against his cheeks, my eyes growing serious.
“Is there a dog heaven?” He groaned loudly, his hands falling against mine, before pulling them away from his face.
“Yes, there is a dog heaven,” was his immediate response, having answered this question too many damn times to count. My mouth opened slightly, only to be cut off by Tyler continuing. “Yes all dogs go to heaven. No there is not a dog hell,” I went to speak again, a pout falling to my face as I was once again cut off. “No I don’t know how there can be a dog heaven without a dog hell,” one of his hands moved to tilt my face towards his, a small kiss ridding me of my pout. “Okay?” I nodded against the hand cupping my face tenderly, humming out a small ‘I just really love dogs.’ “I know you do love,” I kissed the tip of his nose gently as a comfortable silence set in.
“Will you get me chicken nuggets?” I mumbled into the silence, a groan mixing in with the small mumbles of ‘I’m vegan, I shouldn’t support this,’ and ‘a few more days and I get my girlfriend back,’ all while standing from his seat, setting me back in mine, a chaste kiss planted on my forehead before he was moving towards the door yet again.
“Love. No dog videos while I’m gone,” he warned before closing the door behind him. I hummed along with the sound of the car starting, reopening my window to yet again mindlessly scroll through Facebook.
((Based off the Yandere having a panic attack ask, I couldn’t help myself.))
Bim finds him curled up in a corner of the library, fingers sunk deep into red-and-black hair until the digits are liable to rip out the roots. His breathing is heavy and erratic and at first Bim thinks he’s gone into a frenzy again, the kind he’s only ever heard about. But there’s no blood on his uniform and while strained, his expression is too tense; too downcast. There’s tears streaming down Yandere’s face while his lips tremble and immediately Bim recognizes the true signs of a panic attack.
Bim knows panic. He understands anxiety and how it can dig deep beneath the skin, drawing out all the madness and spiraling self-toxicity in a person. He’s been there himself, curled up and shaking, so many times in the past. He can see the spots where Yandere’s sweat has soaked through his uniform and while just a little terrified of the second youngest ego, he’s not about to walk away- at least, not without getting some help.
Bim knows anxiety and panic but he doesn’t know how best to handle Yandere’s. He’s too nervous himself; too at risk of making things worse. He needs a calm mind and a steady hand. He needs someone who knows, always.
The Host is in his room, but he comes readily enough when Bim explains. Says he already knew, the moment Bim knocked at his door. He tells Bim what kind of tea to get, Yandere’s favorite (because it’s his senpai’s favorite). Tells him to get the softest blanket he can find because entering Yandere’s room to get his own is too dangerous. Yandere knows, and Host cares too much for Bim at this point to lead him so astray. Belatedly, he mentions tissues as well, before meandering off to leave Bim to his tasks.
Bim’s halfway to the kitchen before he realizes he never told Host where Yandere is.
Entering the library a bit later with the requested items, he finds Yandere leaning heavily against Host in his little corner. Somehow, Host managed to get Yandere to stop tugging so violently at his hair, and he’s now hugging himself tightly instead. Host’s arm is lightly around Yandere while his lips move nigh continuously: soft murmurs Bim can’t quite catch but seem to be helping Yandere calm down. He’s only trembling now and the tears have stopped.
Quietly and gently, Bim sets the tissues down and offers the items to Host. He takes the tea first, his inflection shifting as he offers the cup to Yandere. It takes a lot of coaxing and a gentle touch at clenched fingers, but eventually Yandere accepts the offering with a few hitched breaths. Bim knows it’s scalding hot, but that doesn’t stop Yandere from taking hefty gulps. He shoves down the tingle of awed fear and helps Host work the blanket around Yandere’s shoulders.
Yandere’s muttering under his breath now: choked whispers and curses, something to do with his schooling. Bim supposes that’s what the panic attack was about. He’s fully prepared to leave, as Host seems to have everything under control, but as he turns there’s a tugging sensation at his pantsleg. Surprised, he follows the arm that extended to catch his departure and finds it connected to Yandere.
He’s not looking at Bim, but his muttering has stopped and the silent request is obvious. Host is looking at Bim as well, and combined their persuasion is impossible to ignore. Hesitantly, he drops down to sit on Yandere’s other side; cross-legged with hands resting loose in his lap. He can feel his own heart beginning to beat a little quicker in his chest. He’s seen and heard of the things Yandere can do. Even like this, what if he just snaps? What if he…
But Yandere just shifts to lean against him instead, and his heartbeat slows. He glances anxiously at the other ego but Yandere still isn’t looking at him. Host, on the other hand, shoots Bim a tiny, secretive smile; gives a nod of approval. And Bim releases the breath he’d been holding all this time.
Based on @ikkakujuu‘s analysis and @yoonicidal‘s analysis on KS’s colour meanings I’d like to say a little thing. Going to do it under the cut in case you haven’t read the new chapter. I read them on Lezhin
Sometimes I go through phases where I can’t be bothered to put on make up or tame the wild floof that is my hair. So I’ll go weeks looking like Old Greg and then I put make up on and do my hair for some meeting and forget that I have then when I walk by a mirror I’m completely and genuinely surprised to not see a gremlin staring back at me. Does this happen to other people too?
i HATE how j*zen shippers think that bc they’re straight or even LGB cis women that its okay to fetishize gay men and gay sex
like… why do these cis women insist on forcing gay men into heteronormative relationship roles and force one character to be “feminine” and whiny and submissive while the other is “masculine” and detached and dominant. why do you have to do that. why does the entire crux of this ship revolve around sex. why do you have to make two characters that dislike each other have a violent and aggressive relationship almost entirely focused on violent, dehumanizing, unsafe sex
these are two characters that are very much dominant “alpha males” but because y'all are demons and everything has to fit with your yaoi tropes you force one to be a whiny submissive, and of course that has to be the one that is shown to be more emotional and gets defensive and angry more. you’re literally reinforcing negative masculinity stereotypes - cool, detached, and aggressive is seen as positive and masculine, while getting angry or emotional is seen as negative and feminine and needs to be punished. fuck canon character traits, you just need to see these men get fucked in a humiliating and aggressive way until they stop complaining about how they don’t like it, don’t want it, and don’t like the other person, am i right?
yeah, you’re gross. that’s fucking rape. i have yet to see any j*zen art or writing that doesn’t involve zen protesting or rejecting Jumin’s advances in some way. i literally saw a piece of fanart with Jumin aggressively fucking zen and zen saying “it hurts…” and jumin being like “you can take it, my pretty little kitten” and forcing him to keep accepting the pain. that’s fucking awful. what was even worse was the thousands of notes with girls going “omg….*nosebleed*” and “omg this is so hot” and “yes i love the gay sin!!!!!” all of y'all are homophobes. you’re no better than men who masturbate to lesbian porn.
someone protesting or objecting to someone else’s advances does not mean they’re secretly in love with them and are trying to deny their feelings. in this case, which is actually canon in the fucking game, it’s because they actually dislike the other person and have a problem with them. to constantly invoke these tropes and claim that “denial = secretly wants it” is a perpetuation of rape culture and means you condone rape and dubious consent.
im honestly considering making an anti-j*zen week dedicated to educating these women on why their behavior is not okay and contributes to homophobia and the objectification of gay men :/ and how when ppl point that out it’s not “bullying” and you need to take responsibility for your shitty actions
i bet you more than half of j*zen shippers are obsessed with k*lling stalking and ship sangb*m, because what else can you expect from violent homophobes who like seeing gay men suffer and get abused