The Carrot and the Stick
Let me start by saying I was raised Muslim. Orthodox. Muslim. And because we moved around a lot I was able to be parts of a variety of Muslim communities. There was a lot of ethnic variety in these communities but there was a commonality when it came to women.
The Carrot - In the community
Consistently, the men were reminded of the Hur ul'Ayn, and the wealth and abundance that awaits them in Paradise if they are steadfast and dutiful.
The events are usually held in Masajid that are designed to give men full access to the speaker/facilitator. They can speak, interact, and fully partake of the knowledge fruits. They can pray and seeeeeeeeeeeee the imam and don’t have to guess which pose to strike.
The Stick - In the community
Meanwhile, the women were reminded with the hadith about 1. women being the major inhabitants in hell 2. women getting into heaven by obeying their husbands and not leaving their homes even if their family dies or sexing their husbands up whenever he asks for it because after all.. it is the wife’s duty to keep the husband’s sexual appetite in check.
The women are often reminded that the ‘best place is in the recesses of your home’ and so attending events is really.. unnecessary cuz well.. their husbands can go and just come home and tell them what had happened. The children are often clumped in with the women in far from equal spaces and SOMEHOW are supposed to be able to hear over the kids and through the walls/dividers/screens.. o yea.. and ceilings/floors in instances where the genders are divided onto separate floors.
(Excuse me while I pause for a deep breath…)