me go and see elves and all

In the movie The Santa Clause, one becomes Santa by putting on the red coat after the death of the previous Santa. Even ignoring how morbid this premise is on its own, it’s possible that there’s another even darker level to the story. When Scott Calvin shows up at the North Pole as the new Santa, not only do the elves not appear surprised, they seem happy to see him and not at all upset about the Santa he replaced. And furthermore, at the very beginning of the movie, we see an elf standing with a crowd of children outside a toy store near Scott’s house. Why would she already be there if she didn’t have some sort of prior knowledge of what was going to occur? This leaves me no choice but to conclude that the elves not only hated the previous Santa but actually orchestrated his demise.

tl;dr: In The Santa Clause, the elves totally murdered the previous Santa.

ok we all know how íþróttaálfurinn is an elf, yes? well let me just tell you this, icelandic elves are not like what u see in movies. like no. 1 rule about icelandic elves is don’t fuck with them or they will either make u go insane or steal ur babies. they might do it anyway even if u do nothing. also don’t mess with the rocks or the hills where they live or ur cursed for life. if an elf tells u to do something u better do it bc u’ll get a reward and everything will be good but if u don’t…. hoo boy u gonna regret it

Things that bother me in DnD #1323432 out of infinity

Why do dwarves and elves and shit have to live so fucking long? Just fucking why? It wrecks havoc with world building. Want a lost temple? Dave the Elf’s dad knows where that is. It was only 2000 years ago. Want something “New” in your world? How new? 10 years old? Humans would have grown up with it, meanwhile dwarves and elves are going to treat it like your grandmother treats the internet. At least that part has some story possibilities.

And don’t you come at me with none of that “oh! Don’t you see the wonderful possibles!” shit. I’ve been at this for over 15 years. I’ve seen it. I just ain’t got time for some dang ol’ tortoises Mr.Owling all over my tootsie pop of a world. What’s the use of a history check when you lived through it? 200 years max man, then you’re dead. I’m telling you that’s the way to go.

So, I’m replaying DA2...

I currently am almost at the end (even though, I have to do Mark of the Assassin and Legacy, still.) and my current party is Alix (the new Hawke), Sebastian, Fenris and Merrill.

And I just LOVE Sebastian and Fenris’s whole friendship evolving through conversations while we’re out. Despite the fact that their first conversations do seem to be about whether Fenris is Andrastian or Sebastian trying to subtley convert him to being even a little bit faitful, there are gems like these ones that just make me go “aww”.

Sebastian: You know, when I return to Starkhaven you’re welcome to come with me.
Fenris: And do what, exactly?
Sebastian: You’re a fine warrior. If you could train men to fight like you do, we’d be unstoppable.
Fenris: I’m no leader, and I doubt humans would want me training them.
Sebastian: Then why not train elves? I bet there’s plenty who would admire all you’ve accomplished.
Fenris: I… haven’t accomplished anything.
Sebastian: No? You are your own man, living as you see fit—you give yourself too little credit.
Fenris: You are being kind.
Sebastian: Not at all. Think about it.

Look at how this conversation relates to Fenris’s character, he wants to get away from his past and once he has, he doesn’t know what he should do. Sebastian offers to take Fenris to Starkhaven with him and give him a job and a purpose. Then, Fenris notes that humans wouldn’t take too kindly to an elven trainer, and Sebastian asks him why not elves instead of humans. I get that this conversation does draw on Sebastian’s desire to raise an army to reclaim Starkhaven, but here is a human who’s talking to an elf and treating elves as equals within this conversation. He references that many elves would admire Fenris being free and living as he sees fit because elves are a historically oppressed race.

It’s a conversation where Sebastian encourages Fenris to believe in himself a little more and tries to help him out as a friend.

Imagine; Thranduil x Reader

Imagine being caught spying on the elves by Thranduil himself as he pins you to a tree trunk to interrogate you, learning more than what he bargained for.

My breathing quickened as I hastily ran through the Murkwood forest, I knew he had seen me as I had reckless lingered in the one position for too long. Elves are miraculous at being able to spot the smallest of movements within the thickest and darkest of forests, his eyes had landed on me for no more then a milly second.

That’s all he needed. I saw him turn to his guards as he chanted off orders, turning on his heals to dash into his forest, the king himself.

Idecided to climb the nearest tree, and stay quiet, my breathing staggered as I held my hand over my mouth in order to keep quiet. His long silver white hair is what I saw first, his glorious crown second.

He was beautiful.

Thranduil stayed poised just underneath my position, his head turning ever so slowly as he listened intently. I stayed as quite as I could, my hand still over my mouth, my feet pushing me against the trunk as much as possible.


“An arrow flew past my head as I quickly ducked- how in the hell had he heard me? I quickly jumped down and turned to dash only to hit something hard and fumble backwards, seconds later I was pinned against the same tree trunk, Thranduils blue eyes staring into mine.

“Not many females can avoid my arrows, none in fact, who are you?” he pinned my arms to the trunk his leg between my own.

“Greeted by the King himself, I guess I should be bowing or something… oops” I decided to go with a more sassy attitude, I was here on business after all, Gandalf had wanted me to pass a message of his company passing through in a few days, it just hadn’t occurred to me to walk up like any normal young witch would to explain herself.

I could have sworn I saw the slighted hint of a smirk at my words on the Kings face, but it shortly disappeared as he pinned me harder against the bark, his leg holding me on my tippy toes. I squirmed a little uneasily, which he seemed to enjoy as he leaned forward to whisper. “Perhaps I should make you?”

I felt my face flush with embarrassment, my cheeks hot. He leant back and met my eyes, now he was smirking, he snickered at my bashfulness. “That, would be an unwise action, King” I said almost angrily.

He smiled and his grip on my hands lessened a little, “As King, I could if I so wished, it is tempting” his eyes ravaged my body, I felt myself squirm uncontrollably as he did. “Or you could tell me who you are, I’ve seen you out here for two days, little one.”

“Wait, you knew I was here?” I blinked for a moment before Thranduil lowered his head in a mock head wobble for “seriously?”

“I also know you are a young witch of great power being trained by Gandalf and Lady Galadriel, sent here to send me a message, which you have failed to do” he eyed me suspiciously, a brow raised.

“You’re the first Elf I have officially met other than Galadriel…do you all look so… so..” I stuttered trying to find the word or words to describe the perfectly sculpted king in front of me.

“You don’t speak Elvish yet, do you?” He chuckled. “I was waiting for you to approach my home, but you never did, when I caught your eyesight I thought it best I caught you and retrieved the message myself” he smirked.

“So, do you have to pin me like this?” I squirmed against his leg and avoided his eye contact, his eyes never left mine. “It’s weird coming from a King” I noted.

“Deliver your message little one and I shall let yo-” Thranduil didn’t finish as he in one movement twirled and sliced the head off of a huge arachnid.

I dashed. He laughed and gave chase, quickly catching up and tripping me, moving himself in front to catch my fall as we both fell to the forest floor. “Why do you run from me?” He questioned as I lay with my back to his chest.

“You make me nervous King Thranduil” I said quietly, “There are rumours you are a harsh King, a cruel King… I didn’t want to get caught in your wrath for delivering a message”

Thranduil flipped us in a second, his white silver hair dangling down over my face as his eyes searched mine offended. “Who thinks this of me, you must tell me, who spreads this amongst the lands?”

“Oh, I don’t give names, it’s rude to tell others a secret they have told you” I said with a slight grin seeing the King so flustered with the concerns of a few opinionated Dwarves.

“So be it, now you will see my wrath” Thranduil stated, his eyes piercing through mine in anger. I gulped and put my hands up in front of me.

“No please! I didn’t mean to offend you! I promise!” I spoke quickly, too quickly and it made the king smile.

“Oh it’s far to late for apologies I’m afraid, perhaps you will be first on one of my newest torture devices?” He questioned, pinning my arms with one of his as he straddled my waist.

“NO! Please! Gandalf will be here soon! His company is passing through-that’s the message!” I blurted out as he glared down at me, he kept his eyes fixed upon me as I squirmed on his grip wishing I had focused more in my defence lesson with Lady Galadriel.

Thranduil looked furious, he wasn’t going to give mercy, I whimpered in his grasp. Suddenly I feel his free hand scampering up under my leather garments and into my shirt, his hands lightly grazing all over my stomach. I blurt out into short squeaks and giggles as my legs kicked out behind me.

“A cruel King…A harsh king. Who do they think they are, commenting on my behaviour like they are my own kin” he talked to himself as he continued to tickle my stomach, he brushed over my belly button as I squealed which brought him back to my reactions, causing him to chuckle as he passed over my belly button again. “Oh dear, I think this is quite sensitive little one”

“Thranduil! Stahahp!” I cried out between laughter, shaking my head as I squealed loudly feeling his finger dip inside of the rim.

“I will if you promise to approach my home without worry or suspicions acts next time, understood?” he stated, I nodded as he wiggles his finger around gently causing me to thrash into hard laughter. “Tell me you promise” He said playfully as he dug in deeper, enjoying the innocent laughter as he himself began to blush slightly.

“I promise!!” I yelled out in between my laughter as tears formed in my eyes, Thranduil stopped immediately and pinned my arms still hovering over me as I giggled slightly.

“See, I’m not harsh or cruel, you shouldn’t believe everything you hear” he smiled, getting up and holding out his hand as I grasped it. He pulled me to my feet as he began to brush himself off. “Well, that was fun, now- I order you to tell me who said those things” he turned to me, standing with his hands behind his back and his head held high.

Oh no this wasn’t going to end well. I began backing away from the king slowly as he watched me curiously. “You see it was um… dwarves.” Thranduil went quiet, his eyes narrowed as he walked forward till he was inches from my face as he smiled wickedly.

“I think it’s time I have a one on one lesson with you, about who to trust when it comes to Dwarves and Elves, and I know just how to convince you” he launched forwards and threw me over his shoulder as I squealed.

Originally posted by trickster-god-loki

Zevran Inquisition Party Banter Part 3

potential da:o and da:i spoilers below. Read at your own risk. 


Zevran: Are you feeling well, my friend?

Blackwall: I’m feeling just fine. Why d’you ask?

Zevran: Are you certain? Ah, well perhaps you are distracted by our dashing leader’s good looks, yes? I don’t blame you, they are quite good looking. 

Blackwall: Are you going somewhere with this?

Zevran: Well you see my friend, when I traveled with my dear warden, s/he and Alistair were never surprised by the darkspawn. And yet, I noticed we had no warning about that last group of them 

Blackwall: Right. Well. …I just thought they were further away than that. No point announcing it then. 

Zevran: Hm… 


Blackwall: So. You fought in the fifth blight?

Zevran: Ah, yes! It is quite a tale! Or, well, it will be after I decide how to tell it without including the days of trekking through icy fields of mud and frozen wastes, or the many varied ways my dear warden was distracted by finding stray pets….

Blackwall: You’re not serious. 

Zevran: My friend, you have not traveled Ferelden if you have not solved at least ten personal disputes. 


post - revelations

Zevran: And I thought I was the only murderer in our merry band!

Blackwall: Don’t, please. Not about this.

Zevran: I was only going to say, my friend, that it is not every day one gets a second chance. Do not waste it. 

if Blackwall is in a Romance with the Inquisitor, and Zevran romanced the Warden

Zevran: I was only going to say, my friend, that it sounds familiar. 

Blackwall: What are you on about?

Zevran: Oh, did you not hear? I met my dear warden because I was sent to assassinate her/him. 

Blackwall: Well. That’s – heartening. Thank you. 

Zevran: (laughs) I thought you might think so, my bearded friend!



Sera: uuuugh, elves. 

Zevran: My dear woman, pardon me if I’m wrong but you too are an elf, are you not?

Sera: Yeah but I’m not all elfy like sir-fadey-bottom, all, ‘the veil is wibbly here’ and that shite. 

Zevran: (laughs) I see! Well, I can think of ten differences between myself and our shiny friend without trying. 

Sera: Whatever. Bet you can’t name one. You can’t!

Zevran: Hmmm, well. if nothing else, I have hair, my friend.


Zevran: I am beginning to feel rather like a bullseye. What has you staring my friend? 

Sera: You’ve been in Denerim, right? 

Zevran: Not in some time, why is it you ask?

Sera: When I was little there was this box, and this door and these people –

Zevran: Truly, a remarkable tale. 

Sera: Shut it, you! But there was this box, and I took it and you were there!

Zevran: Between you and me, my friend, I still have no idea what you are talking about. 


Sera: (cackling)

Zevran: (laughs)

Sera: (over the top cackling)

Zevran: (laughs longer)

Sera: (snort-laughing)

Zevran: (’evil’ laughing)

Sera: (’evil’ laughing)

Zevran: Ah, that’s my game!

Sera: Piss. 



Dorian: Did I hear right, Zevran? You were an Antivan Crow? I’ve heard of them. You don’t get many in the Imperium. 

Zevran: Well, yes. Do not take this the wrong way my friend, but it is hard to assassinate someone when so many other people have already lined up to try.

Dorian: (laughs) None taken. 


Zevran: Ugh, why this, and all the mud? Mud should not exist when it is this cold!

Dorian: And then there’s the ever-present stench of wet dog. Where does it come from I wonder?

Zevran: There isn’t even a dog, this time. 

Dorian: Blasted southern winters. 

Zevran: Ugh.

Inquisitor: It’s spring. 

if Varric is in the party

Varric: Maybe if either of you wore more clothes you wouldn’t be so cold. 

Zevran: And hide these legs?

Dorian: Perish the thought.


Dorian: Those tattoos, Zevran. Do they mean anything?

Zevran: Oh, these? (laughs) There serve only to emphasize what is already there, my friend. I have more if you’d like to see them. 

Dorian: Well, perhaps I would. You know where my tent is. 

if Dorian is in a romance with the Inquisitor

Inquisitor: I’m right here you know. 

Zevran: You can come too, my friend. The more the merrier!

Dorian: Oh, look at him blush! 

Inquisitor: (sighs)

The Elf and the Dwarf

Overall Summary: Erebor was reclaimed and the line of Durin had not ended. You were an elf and now that your quest was over, you didn’t know what to do especially since you gained feelings for a certain King Under the Mountain.

Chapter Summary: Gandalf calls for a meeting.

Chapter Categories: Angst, Humor

Strike Through = Current Chapter

Chapter 1 - Chapter 2 - Chapter 3 - Chapter 4 - Chapter 5 - Chapter 6 - Chapter 7 - Chapter 8

AN: I don’t know how to write anything but dialogue. Sorry.

You curse as you get yourself lost again. Even though it’s been a month, the vast halls of Erebor are still as confusing as the first day.

“That’s not a very nice word, lass,” you hear a voice say. You already know it’s Bofur.

“Thank valar you’re here. I seem to have lost my way,” you tell him. “That is quite obvious. Follow me princess,” he says, bowing. You punch him in his arm. “Where are we?” you ask as you look around. 

He tells you about Erebor as he gives you a tour and you make sure to remember everything.

“And my tour ends here,” he says stopping in front of the council room. You nod and thank him.

You walk inside and Thorin is sitting at the head of the table with Balin, Dwalin and Fili to his right and Lord Elrond and Lindir on his left. There is a space between Lindir and Elrond which you figure is for you.

“If I had known that there was a meeting I would’ve cut my tour short,” you apologize, taking a seat next to your father.

“Nonsense. If you are to live here it would be better for you to get to know the city instead of getting lost and asking for directions,” Thorin says and you can’t help but take it as an insult. 

Your heart clenches but you ignore it. “How kind,” you say a little sarcastically, “has my father informed you of our meeting with Bard?“ 

“Not yet. I was just about to,” Lord Elrond states. You nod.

“Bard has requested help to rebuild the city. I have informed him that more of your kin will be here soon and that you’d probably help,” you say.

“We are all very busy. We have no people to spare. Maybe later when everyone is settled, but the choice will be up to them not me,” Thorin explains.

“Is that why you came from Dale?” Fili asks.

“Yes. Last night, I was approached by Legolas while on watch. He relayed the message that his father wanted to see me, but in reality it was Bard it was him that wanted to me,” you explain.

“Then why send the elf?” Thorin asks.

“Because he knew it would bother you,” you reply.

“Petty is he,” Thorin mutters, but you hear him and smile.

“Is that all that they have discussed?” Balin asks.

“I am uncertain. I may or may not have lost control of my anger and basically called him heartless,” you reply.

Dwalin smirks muttering, “that’s my girl.” Thorin can’t help but let a little smile cross his face.

“And what prompted this exactly?” Balin asks, not exactly pleased with his brother and king at the moment.

“King Thranduil told me that Thorin would be selfish and not give help. I told him that he was wrong based on the fact that I had returned the jewels he went to war for. He asked me why I defended you and what I had to gain which led to me saying that I had learned how to love and be loved and that that is what he needs to learn as well,” you say, not exactly meeting their eyes.

You felt ashamed at your outburst now that you think of it. It is not becoming of a princess of Rivendell to speak so freely. While willowing in self-pity, you fail to notice the smile that has not only graced the dwarves’ faces, but your father’s and Lindir’s.

You all turn toward the door as it swings open and lets in Gandalf.

“I must apologize for being late. I had other business to take care of,” he states, taking a seat next to Lindir.

“Why have you gathered us, Gandalf?” Thorin asks.

“We are not all here,” is his reply.

“Well who are we waiting for?” Thorin asks and the door opens to reveal Bard and Thranduil. You turn away quickly, looking at the table.

“It seems that you clean up nicely,” Thranduil comments as he takes the seat next to Bard who is sitting next to Fili.

You glare at him.

“I see that I have yet to knock you off of your high horse, your majesty,” You reply sarcastically.

“You wouldn’t be able to reach it if you tried,” he responds.

“You’ve sunk low enough for me to do so,” you retort.

“Are you quite done?” Gandalf asks.

You sit straighter.

“Wonderful. Over these past few months of our journey, I and Rhadaghast the Brow have noticed that there is something dark looming over these lands. Which is why Greenwood is now reffered to as Mirkwood. I do not know what lingers, but I do know that this darkness does exist,” Gandalf exclaims.

Thranduil and Elrond looks at the wizard

“You are not suggesting that he has returned,” Thranduil states.

“That I am. Not completely, but he still lingers. I have seen him at Dol Goldur,” Gandalf replies.

“Its been 2000 years, how has he not been destroyed?” you ask.

“The One Ring that Islidur had failed to destroy all those years ago. It contains a piece of Sauron’s soul and while the ring is still in existence, so is Sauron,” Lord Elrond explains to those gathered around.

“And where is the ring?” Thorin asks.

“It was lost many, many years ago,” Gandalf adds.

“Are you suggesting that we search for this ring that we do not know the location of?” Thorin asks.

“No. It is a fools quest. I have come to warn you about the darkness. There will be many trying to overtake Erebor and Dale, but you must prevail. I also came to tell you that these childish antics will bring nothing, but destruction,” Gandalf replies.

“I do not know what you are talking about,” Thorin denies.

Your gaze moves over to Thranduil and he doesn’t look too happy at being called childish.

Gandalf lets out a loud sigh and you smile a bit. Gandalf is so done with both Kings.

“If these great kingdoms are to prosper like they did before Smaug attacked, then you will all have to get along. Bard seems to be the only level headed King out of all of you,” You explain making Thranduil and Thorin’s head snap to you.

It’s true. Bard is like the mediator of sorts between the two races. He shouldn’t be because he needs to focus on his people, but Thorin and Thranduil will not speak unless you or Bard are in the same room.

“Are you calling me crazy?” Thorin asks, appalled.

“I’m calling you petty. You cannot get over something that happened over 171 years ago. It is time to forgive, Thorin. That is the only way to be at peace,” you state.

“Of course you would defend your kin,” he mutters.

You stand angrily. 

“Do not give me that, Thorin son of Thrain. I have always chosen this company over my kin,” you state.

“Really? Because the way I see it, your loyalty still lies with the elves and that is not good for my people.”

“I had a chance to return home, yet I did not because I wanted to help you. I had a chance of giving away your quest to the elves of Mirkwood, but I did not do so because you are more important to me then one of the Kings of my kin. I would choose you over my kin, but you would never do the same for me. I should have never came on this quest. Dwalin, Fili, I am terribly sorry, but I am no longer able to stay. Father, I will be going back to Dale. I’m assuming that you are staying there as well. Bard, if that is alright with you, I would like to stay there as well,” you say looking at the man.

Bard nods saying, “There are guards standing at the front gate. The one on the right, his name is Ingmar. He is a young lad with blonde hair and blue eyes and he will be expecting you.”

You are taken aback. He’s been expecting a falling out between you and Thorin. It’s then that you know that you and Thorin were never meant to be.

You nod and turn back to Thorin.

“King Thorin, thank you for your hospitality and the adventure filled 7 months that I have experienced. Long may you reign,” you say, bowing.

“ Galaeron, Haemir. Please follow me. I have a few things to pack up,” you tell two of your fathers guards.

You know that borrowing two will not be bad given the fact that there are four guards for your father, two for Thranduil and two for Bard. You can say that he is going to be just fine.

The two elves follow you to your room.

You put all of your clothes into the trunk located under the bed. Whatever belongings you have scattered across the room, you stick in there too. You stop as you see all of the drawings that ori has given you. You smile as you see one with Fili Kili and you sleeping one on another. You’re sleeping on Fili’s stomach and Kili is sleeping on yours. You put it away to keep your tears at bay and close the trunk, telling the guards to take it to your fathers quarters in Dale.

You sit on the bed, contemplating on whether or not to say goodbye to the dwarves. On one hand you should because they’re like your family but on the other hand you’re only 30 minutes away.

You leave swiftly, walking through the halls that no one would expect you to be in. You make your way to the entrance of Erebor, not getting caught by any dwarf, at least until you walk out of the gate. You ignore your name being called and continue your trek to Dale.

You stop at the front gate and look at the guard on the right.

“Are you Ingmar?” You ask. “That I am. You must be lady y/n,” he states. You nod.

“Let me take you to your room. Caelen, take my place!” he calls out and another guard replaces him.

“How long have you been expecting me?” you ask as you both make your way to the town hall.

“Only since this morning,” he responds. You look at him, confused. He notices your confusion and begins to explain.

“King Bard came to me after Lord Elrond went to Erebor. He said that your emotions were high and to make a room for you in case you came and here you are,” he states.

“Is that all the explanation he gave you?” you asks.

“Yes. Were you expecting something else?” he asks.

“No. Of course not,” you respond. He nods and takes you through the halls of the King.

“You will be staying with the king and his family, as his request. You are welcome to stay for however long you want,” he tells you and you nod as you stop in front of a room.

It’s just as nice as Erebor’s if not nicer. Instead of seeing into the mountain, you can see over the entire city and the mountain too

“Thank you,” you say. He smiles and takes your hand, kissing it. “Its been a pleasure escorting a beautiful lady such as yourself,” he replies and you can’t help, but notice that he has a lovely smile.

“You’re quite a-” but you’re interrupted when you’re almost tackled by three figures.

Ingmar laughs as his King’s children wraps their arms around your waist. 

“Lady y/n! Are you here to stay?” Tilda asks. “Of course, Tilly! In fact, I’m staying right in this room. You know, my hair needs to be rebraided again,” you say smirking. She giggles and pulls you into the room with Bain and Sigrid following behind.

“I will take my leave,” Ingmar tells you. You nod and sit on the bed. Tilda kneels behind you. “One big braid?” She asks. “One big braid,” you respond.

“Are the halls of Erebor as great as everyone says?” Bain asks. 

“Absolutely amazing. Twice the size of dale and it’s all in a Mountain. You cannot believe the beauty of it all.”

"Then why are you here? You seem like you’d miss it an awful lot,” Sigrid asks.

“Because I don’t belong there. Besides I wanted to see my wonderful Bardlings again,” you say. The two girls giggle. 

“Will you teach me how to use that?” Bain asks, pointing at your bow. “Only if your father allows. I cannot teach you to wield weapons without your father’s permission,” you tell him. He nods.

You look at the room around you. Your things are sitting in a corner. The bed is nice and soft and big enough to fit three full grown people. There is also a door that leads to a separate room and you guess that it leads to the bathroom. There is a dresser in front of the foot of the bed with a vanity hanging above it. There is a a desk on one side of the bed and a little table on the other. It’s a very spacious room and you love it.

“Done,” Tilda cries out. “Thanks Tilly,” you say, giving her a hug.

When Kili had been shot with the arrow, you had stayed in Lake Town with the brothers, Oin and Bofur. You told Thorin that you would be more useful staying with then going onto Erebor with them and you were right. Kili had gotten sicker and you it was thanks to you that he was still alive to make it to Erebor. During that time, you had grown very close to his children and you’ve come to love them like your own. , Bard’s house was attacked by orcs. Thankfully, Legolas and Tauriel had both come to help.

Thorin did not looked pleased to have five of his company staying behind, but in your heart you knew that was only because of the dragon sickness. If it was Thorin, he would never leave his nephews behind especially Kili.

You look out the window and you can see an orc pack of at least 80 making it’s way toward the mountain.

“No,” you mutter.

“Children, go back to your rooms, alright? I’ll see you beauties later,” you say, kissing them on their forehead and quickly making it out of the room. 

You run out the way you came and you see Legolas stepping out of a room and you grab his hand, pulling him along. Some of the guards follow us and you let go.

“What’s wrong?” He asks, hurriedly.

“An orc pack of 80 is headed into the mountain. There’s no way they can survive,” you say, pausing to jump on one of the elve’s horses. Legolas follows and we ride off to Erebor. By the time we get there, the dwarves and remaining elves noticed their presence.

You swing your sword, cutting off one head and the battle begins. The pack gets taken down within 20 minutes

As soon as it is over, you jump off my horse and check on your father. 

“Ada, are you alright?” you ask him, cupping his cheek.

“I am fine, dear. I have fought in more wars than you. This is nothing,” he tells you. I nod. You look over at the Company and they can’t seem to look you in the eye. You rake your my eyes over them to check if none of them got injured. You turn back to the horse as you see no injuries.

“I’ll just leave you to it father,” you say, getting on the horse. He nods and you turn your horse, tearing up.

After all that you’ve been through, not a single thanks from any of them. They couldn’t even look you in the eyes. Some friends. 

“Are you alright?” Legolas asks you, drawing the attention of the dwarves. 

“I’m fine,” your wiping your tears away. You tap on your horse and it goes walking back to Dale. Your shoulders slump.

Legolas puts an arm on your shoulder and asks you if you’re alright again. You look at him and shake my head, tears slipping down your face. You fail to notice the fact that the company is still watching you both. 

Legolas nods and you continue your trek back to dale.

“According to Galaeron and Haemir, you have decided to move to Dale. Ido not understand why you’re staying at Dale. You seemed very adamant when telling my father he was heartless,” he tells me. 

You smile.

“Given the fact that you and your father are only here for a while, I will not run into him as often as I would Bard. After returning to Erebor, Thorin and I got into a little spat. Gandald called both your father and Thorin out on their childishness and I added something about forgiving the past deeds. Harsh words had been exchanged and I felt my leave was necessary. I will not do so well there for I’m afraid that I will die of a broken heart,” you tell him.

“I do not understand. Did you choose a mortal life?” he asks you.

“I’ve been trying to ask my father, but he has been ignoring me every time the topic comes up,” you explain.

“It is understandable. It’s a very hard topic to talk about especially if your father loves you a lot and only wants what’s best. Tauriel very is adamant on moving to Dale to be closer to that dwarf of hers,” Legolas growls out.

You let out a laugh.

“You will find someone eventually, Leggy,” you tell him.

He groans.

“I hate that name,” he says.

You laugh again but your smile drops as you smell a foul, moving scent in the air. You turn around to find a single orc creeping up behind Thorin

You notch your arrow and send it flying straight into the orcs head. The company turns around in shock. How the elves or Gandalf didn’t pick it up, you do not know. You notice Thorin nod and you nod back. You turn back around.


The Company watches once again as y/n takes her leave. 

“Uncle! Surely you cannot let her leave yet again!” Fili exclaims.

“She has made her choice,” Thorin grumbles. He turns toward Lord Elrond. 

“What I want to know is how your daughter felt an orc behind us and yet you did not?” Thorin asks him highly suspicious.

“I did not act to show you exactly how much my daughter cares for you. It’s obvious when you first entered Rivendell that she cares a lot for you. For all of you. Did you not question why you were given meat ()a/n: lets pretend this happened) when elves only eat vegetables? Did you not question how you were released from Mirkwood? Did you not question how you three miraculously survived mortal injuries? It is because of my daughters love for you. She cares too much for those that do not care for her in return,” Elrond States. 

“And who said we didn’t care lad?” Dwalin asks angrily obviously offended by the comment

“The fact that you all avoided her gaze after she got off her horse told me all that I needed to know,” Lord elrond responds, looking down at the dwarf.

“She chose to leave us,” Kili whispers but Lord Elrond hears it anyway.

“This is the only time she has ever done so. She did not leave you will you were poisoned by that arrow. In fact, she saved you. You take her for granted. Now I will gather my things and make for Dale. You, Thorin Oakenshield, need to think about what she means to. I do not want my daughter to die of a heartbreak over a selfish dwarf,” Lord Elrond says. With that, he, Thranduil, and their guards get their things and head back to Dale.

Thorin grunts.

“Finish the preparations for tonight. I will be in my chambers,” Thorin announces, stomping away and leaving behind a very confused company.

Christmas Prompts
  • You got me an incredible, deeply emtional gift and I got you a ten dollar gift card. I’m a terrible person.
  • Our kid is attempting to stay up all night to see Santa. How do we convince them to go to bed?
  • Person A and B both work as elves in a mall. Person C is the horrible Santa. A and B bond over talking badly about C.
  • My family is crazy and fast-paced. Yours is traditional and calm. We’re hosting a Christmas party for both of them. 
  • Extra to the above: Something is on fire in the kitchen but no one is helping because they’re too distracted by a cousin’s insane dancing.
  • Person A has a hard time with Christmastime because of bad memories. Person B is the only person willing to just sit quietly with them.
  • When I opened the door I was about to yell at you because I don’t like carolers but then I heard your voice. Why are you so good? Can you come inside and just sing for the rest of the night?

Happy holidays!! 

Note: I only did Christmas prompts because that is the only thing I have knowledge about. If you would like to tell me about other holidays I would deeply appreciate it! I want to make my prompts more inclusive, but I would like to hear actual people’s traditions. I want the prompts to be as realistic as possible, and reading articles just isn’t the same. Send me anything that is important to you around the holidays! Ciao!

This is probably just me complaining so ignore me lol.

But Tolkien describes some elves as olive skin, or darker than the High Elves we’re more used to. Tolkien even describes that some races of men (like the Easterlings) are dark skinned, and even some rulers of Numenor.

But going back to the fact that elves can be dark—they don’t all have to be pale, especially the silvan, or the nandor, or etc…etc…Even in Tolkien’s work, we can see him drawing parallels to the Silvans/other wood elves and certain groups of native/indigenous people who are dark/tan.

So like, if Tolkien himself canonically states that certain elves can be dark/tanned skinned and if he is obviously pulling inspiration for them from native people, and taking into consideration the LotR and the Hobbit were filmed in New Zealand, the home of the Māori people who are indigenous to the land…then why didn’t he cast some of them?

Maybe I could understand not casting them in the lotr (which I can argue but I won’t), but why not in the Hobbit? Like gosh, I read somewhere that Peter Jackson discouraged people of color from auditioning for the hobbit and I hope that’s not true.

But I think, especially for the Hobbit when portraying the silvan elves, getting some actors of Māori descent would have been really interesting and far more impactful (like getting a Māori actress to play Tauriel would’ve been so cool and it would’ve actually made sense!)

But idk, I know this will probably piss people off…if so just ignore me.

Ok so hear me out. BW made a big deal about the eluvians and how mysterious and unknown they are, but in the crossroads we see a butt ton of them. This leads me to believe it was one of the main forms of transportation in ancient arlathan. Which means, if it’s a staple of elven society, it’s not going to be “forgotten” so easily even after the Tevinter occupation.

So what if, when Morrigan is being all ~mysterious~ and stuck up about how much she knows about ancient elven stuffs, when she goes to show off the eluvian at Skyhold the elven Inquisitor is like “oh yeah. The eluvian. Found it a couple days after we moved in. Been to the crossroads? Wish there was more information there but it’s pretty barren now. A team from my clan spent a week in there and all they found was a spoon and a bunch of broken glass. Shame.”

And Morrigan is like 😐

Feisty Little Hobbit

Overall Summary: You are Bilbo’s little sister but the exact opposite

Chapter Summary: You try to dissuade Dain from attacking the elves and the battle begins

Previous Chapter: Chapter 17

Next Chapter: Chapter 19

“Are you alright, y/n?” Bilbo asks as he ushers you away from the gate.

You hated how much this journey had changed. Had you known that things would end like this, you wouldn’t have joined. You would never put yourself through this misery again.

Keep reading

trelevona  asked:

For your Hogwarts rare pair headcannons, Theo x Luna :)

this is for the @hprarepairnet hogwarts challenge!

  • theodore nott was not good at conversing with others.
  • it just wasn’t in his skill sets, and if he was being honest, he didn’t really care.
  • he liked being alone to analyze the world and think through life’s issues that others seemed to just ignore.
  • every night after dinner, he would leave the great hall and go and sit in the field near the quidditch pitch.
  • there was a tree there he loved to sit under where he could just write, read, or think without being disturbed.
  • it was peaceful, and he did this all year round. rain or shine.
  • it was the only place he truly felt like himself.
  • it wasn’t until his sixth year when someone even noticed he was there.
  • it was a typical spring evening. birds were chirping, he could hear frogs croaking, and the slight breeze was enough to give him goosebumps but also feel refreshed.
  • he took a deep breath and closed his eyes as he leaned his head back against the tree, but he was soon startled once he felt someone’s arm brush up against his.
  • his eyes shot open and he turned to his left to see a girl in ravenclaw robes.
  • she looked familiar to him, but he didn’t really pay attention to others outside of his house.
  • her dirty blonde hair was wavy and hit her waist, and her eyes had a natural shine to them that he had never seen someone have before. 
  • he didn’t say anything to her, but he really felt like telling her to go away. 
  • he couldn’t seem to form the words.
  • “i’m luna,” she said airily, “and you are theodore.”
  • he perked his right brow up, “i am. what can i do for you?”
  • she surprised him by opening up a pink and blue floral notebook and was now holding a horrendous orange feathered quill as if to interrogate him.
  • “i was curious what you are always thinking about out here. does the air feel nice? i have been trying to find an area of my own. i have been watching you for years, and it seems you always choose the same spot.”
  • his mouth was dry, and he opened and closed it a few times trying to find the right words, but he still couldn’t.
  • “i know you’re shy,” she said wistfully, “people also think i’m shy, but i really just don’t like to talk when i’m thinking. i’m actually quite friendly, you see.”
  • i-i relate to that. the first part, anyway.”
  • “i figured you would.”
  • she gave him a soft smile as she wrote something down in her notebook. he tried to peak over her shoulder, but her hair was falling in the way.
  • “what are you writing about?” he asked her curiously.
  • “oh, don’t worry,” she reassured him, “it’s not about you. i was just making a note about how nargles seem to be non-existent here. maybe it’s why you’re able to think so clearly and deeply. you seem to have a clear head, wouldn’t you say so?”
  • theo didn’t know how to respond to her, so he just nodded. he had no idea what a nargle was.
  • he wanted to ask more questions, but she got up from the ground and brushed off the back of her robes.
  • “well,” she said, “i’m going to go back up now and see if there is any leftover pudding. i am quite friendly with the house elves. i’ll see you tomorrow, theodore.” 
  • as she was practically skipping away, theo gained the courage to call out, “it’s theo. call me theo.
  • she turned back around slightly and smiled at him, but a few seconds later, she continued to skip away and back towards the castle without a word.
  • the rest of the night, all theo could think about was this girl named luna, and how he was surprised by how much he wanted to get to know her. 

A/N: I got this one out quite quickly, which I’m very proud of! ^.^ I have a four day weekend since it’s Thanksgiving soon, so hopefully I can get some more writing in! This one is for blu3tid3s!

You were bubbling with excitement. Your footsteps pattered almost noiselessly against the elven halls. Quick and rapid, like your heartbeat.

This time you had to make it. You had nearly done it before, but that damn Legolas had kept getting in the way. Of course, he was a close friend of yours, and he was only looking out for your safety, but you still squirmed under his protectiveness. You were eager to escape his grasp. This time you were going to talk to them.

You slipped past the guards on duty with complete ease and scurried through the corridors. You never feared stumbling and falling to the pit below the narrow pathways,which were suspended only by lone pillars. The halls, after all, had been your home for hundreds of years. You had been bred into them, and they were a part of you.

Keep reading


Young Remus Lupin x Reader


i got a request for something like this so long ago and i’m sorry its taken so long but i have no motivation most of the time

*i don’t know if you guys know what this means lol but my mum used to call me it all the time as a kid cause i was so clumsy all the time but here’s the definition - blunderbuss: a clumsy, unsubtle person.*

Originally posted by im-a-totalmess

Your soaked converse sloshed on the grass with every step you took towards the castle. You hugged your jacket closer to yourself, trying to preserve your body heat but it only caused more water to fall to your feet. You groaned as you brushed your hair out of your face, only you would be capable of tripping into the lake at a temperature of below fucking freezing. You had always been clumsy; you had fallen over, lost your wand and spilled your potions countless times but this… This was on a whole other level. You felt like a human icicle as you trudged your way through the doors of the castle, grumbling to yourself as you passed an exasperated Professor McGonagall. 

“Ms. Y/L/N, what in God’s name happened to you?” She question, her eyes scanning you up and down with a look of cautioned disgust.
“I fell in the lake.” You said with a dangerous finality to your tone that warned her, and the snickering Ravenclaws walking by, not to question you about it.
She nodded her head whilst trying to maintain her authoritative composure but you could see the hint of a smile on her lips. This only made you more grumpy.
“Yes.. well, go and dry off. You’re dripping on the floor and I’m sure the elves won’t thank you for it.” She told you, waving her wand in the direction of the common room.
Your jaw dropped, “Can’t you just dry me off with a spell?” You whined like a child, your hands flying into the air before landing at your sides with a sound like slapping the top of water.
“What kind of teacher would I be if I did all the work?” She said dismissively, before turning and gliding down towards the great hall.
You stomped your foot in frustration before slushing your way up the staircases, your eyes glaring at every student you passed before finally making it to the common room. Before the Fat Lady could even ask you had nearly growled the password at her,
“Mandrake leaf”. The door swung open in front of you and you stumbled through it, tripping over your dripping robes. You walked into the familiar warmth of the Gryffindor common room and without so much as glancing at your boyfriend and his friends who you knew were sitting on the couch, you marched straight towards the stairs. You could almost feel Remus give his friends a look of utter bewilderment before he stood up and followed you.
You walked into the room and heard Remus shut the door behind him when you finally looked at him. “What the bloody hell happened?” He asked while trying to hide the obvious grin on his face. You scowled at his obvious enjoyment of your situation before you began to strip down. Throwing the wet clothes onto the floor with a grunt you immediately slipped on your fuzzy socks and one of Remus’ sweaters (which he smirked at) that he had left on your bed the night before. You glanced at your boyfriend, who had sat down on your bed; he looked at you cautiously before patting his legs, inviting you to sit. You collapsed onto his lap with a heavy sigh, burying your face into his neck.
“Love, what happened?” Remus asked you gently, a hand tracing up and down your back softly. You waited a few seconds before answering, knowing you would probably never hear the end of it.
“I fell in the lake.” You mumbled quietly, hoping he wouldn’t hear you. Apparently God was not on your side today.
Remus burst out laughing. Covering his mouth with his hand to muffle his large barks of laughter, he fell back onto your bed, you still sitting on his thighs, frowning at his reaction. As he let out another fit of giggles you had had enough.
“Remus it isn’t funny, I had to walk all the way back here soaking wet!” You whined, hitting his chest in an effort to get him to take you seriously.
“I’m sorry love” he managed through his laughter, sitting back up and wrapping his arms around you. “Are you cold?” He questioned, the happy grin still spread on his face. The amusement in his eyes lifted your spirits a little as you nodded your head and jutted out your bottom lip.
“Okay, c'mere sweet” he said simply before scooting back towards your pillow and holding the blankets open for you. You smiled smugly to yourself and scurried underneath the blankets before snuggling into Remus’ warm chest.
You shut your eyes and let a comfy sigh escape your lips after Remus planted a quick kiss to your forehead before resting his chin on the top of your head; “Love you blunderbuss.”

Let me know what you thought xx


Fred X Reader

Warnings: minor language

Word count: 1867

(All rights to JK Rowling.)


“Okay class, we are going to be learning about how to use spells in a risk free manner.” Professor Umbridge said as she flicked her wand to pass out the books.

“It’s like we are in our first year.” I said, leaning over to Fred, he let out a small laugh, causing us to get a glare from Toadface. “What’s so funny, Mr. Weasley?”

“Nothing nothing. It’s just we learned this in our first year, professor.” He said, with a slight attitude.

“Ah, yes you did, but this is a review. Then we will get into what you’re learning, meaning using no wands, because you all will not need wands in this class.” She explained.

“What do you mean, professor? We will not need our wands? We need to know how to graduate and be able to use our wands in the real world.” I said, slightly disturbed.

“Miss.{Y/L/N}. Using no wands helps you have better background on the spells, which you all need. Now if either of you speak again, you will get a detention.” She said turning around to continue the lesson.

Fred noticed how you looked like you were going to argue again, so he put his hand in your hand to keep you from speaking again.


After class, you walk out in angry fumes. “I don’t understand how we’re supposed to learn anything in that class! We’re not allowed to use magic, how will we be able to defend ourselves from the war that is coming to us soon??” You said to Fred and George angrily as you all walk to the common room.

“Me either. People just don’t want to believe that you-know-who’s back, it’s only leading us to doom later on.” Fred said as he sat down on the couch. George sat at the other end and you sat in the middle, laying your head on Fred’s lap and your legs on George’s.

Heat rose to Fred’s cheeks as he looked at the painting on the wall as if it was the most magnificent thing he’s seen. You looked up at your best friend, wanting more of a reaction but you shrugged it off.

“I have an idea,” George spoke, “we should pull a prank on umbridge.” You looked at him with interest in your eyes, “I’m listening..”

“We should give her some of our candy, and write a little note, ‘thank you for saving hogwarts’ and then watch her break out into ugly zits everywhere.” George explained.

You nodded, “that’s a great idea. Let’s do it.” You said looking up at Fred for approval. He smiled, “let’s go get it started.”

You all were up most of the night, doing homework and working on the prank. Around three in the morning, you actually fell asleep on Fred’s shoulder.

Fred was used to the all nighters, but you normally went to bed around eleven.


In the morning, you woke up to your owl pecking at your leg, “twilight, what’s gotten into you?” You groaned as you sat up, still in your clothes from yesterday.

You pet twilight, kissing her forehead before she flew out of the window. You turned towards the still sleeping Fred, smiling to yourself at how peaceful he looks. You nudged his arm, “Fred. It’s time to get up.” With trying that many times and obviously failing, you needed a new way to wake him up.

You got up, jumping on the couch, Fred woke up instantly, drawing his wand. “Relax, Freddie. It’s just me.” You said sitting beside him, putting your hand on his, lowering his wand.

His chocolate brown eyes met yours and he smiled, “did you sleep well?”

You nodded, “for sleeping for only three hours, but hey it’s all good. We can get the prank ready, and she can open them in class today.”

You get up, reaching your hand out to help him up, once he stood up you both parted ways. You changed into your extra set of clothes, leaving the dirty ones out for the house elves.

You left a note for them saying thank you for doing your laundry, then you headed downstairs to see that Fred waiting for you. “George told me to go away, so it’s just me and you for now.” You smiled, “do you have the candy?”

“O’course, let’s go eat breakfast.” You looped your arm in his and grabbed your bag, skipping down the corridor.

You sat down opposite of him, you were talking about everything from quidditch to the ministry of magic.

“I was talking to hermione about Umbridge and she told me that the ministry is interfering at hogwarts. As if our world could get any worse.” You said shaking your head.

Once the great hall got busier, you and Fred headed out, going back to the common room. “We have forty minutes until class with Umbridge. So let’s take a small nap.” Fred said with a laugh.

“I’m feeling great, like I’ve slept for eight hours.” You said with a shrug. “That’s how it starts. Then in two hours you’ll fall asleep on me in potions.” Fred said, before saying the password to get into the common room, you both sat on the couch. You took your wand out, muttering ‘incendio’, starting the fire.

You both sat in silence watching the fire, “ten minutes until class starts, we should get going.” You said as you stood up, putting your wand in your robes. Both of you heading to class.


“Wingardium Leviosa.” You muttered as you sat in your set, making the candy float over to Umbridge’s desk, setting them down. Right when you got your wand put away, umbridge came in.

“I need you all to copy down all words on page 47.” She said as she looked at the candy on the desk, smiling evilly when she read the note, she opened the box and took a bite of the candy.

Fred, George and you glanced at eachother before watching umbridge break out in disgusting blisters. Everyone started snickering, the three of you hive five under the table.

“Who did this?!” Umbridge yelled angrily, looking out to find the guilty party. She dumped the box, looking st the bottom of the box, “‘W&W’, WEASLEYS STAND.”

The twins stood, “did you do this?” They nodded. Before she could continue you stood up, “professor, it was all me. I had the idea, I wrote the note. They just helped me put everything together. If anyone’s guilty here, it’s me.”

Fred looked at you, his eyes telling you no but you shook your head. “Very well then, Miss.{Y/L/N}, after all your classes today you will have a dentition with me. Now excuse me while I got to the hospital wing, you are all dismissed.”

Once you were out in the corridor everyone gave you high fives but the twins leaded you to an empty corridor. “Why, {Y/N}, why??” George asked, completely confused.

“Because, you guys are already on a tightrope with dumbledore and your father works at the ministry. Plus. It wasn’t a lie. I did help I did write the note. It’s done now. All I have is a detention. I’ll probably have to scrub moaning myrtle’s toilet.” You shrugged, looking up at both of the twins.

They looked at each other, obviously upset, “you guys, just let it go. It’ll be alright. We just have to check the labels on the box’s next time.”

They nodded as we all slowly headed towards potions.


You knocked on the door to Umbridge’s office, “hello professor.” You said as you walked into her office. “Sit sit, you’re going to be writing lines with my quills.”

You sat down, taking the quills, “I need ink, professor.” “Not with this kind of quill. I need you to write ‘I will not disrespect my teachers’.”

“How many times?” You ask moving the quill in your hands. “As many times as it will sink in.” She said coldly, looking out the window.

You slid the quill across the piece of parchment. Once you finished the sentence, you felt a pain in your left hand. You winced majorly as you looked at your handwriting appearing on the back on your hand.

The pain was unbelievable, it felt as if you were being scratched deeply. You let out a small gasp, causing umbridge to turn around. You looked at her, your eyes coated with disgust.

You looked back at the parchment, continuing to write, not giving umbridge the satisfaction of your pain.


Once she dismissed you, your right hand was cramping and your left had blood trailing down your hand.

You walked out of the classroom, running to the common room. You ran past a certain red head, causing him to shout your name, but you already made it into the common room.

You ran past George, going into the dorm room. You threw your robe off, onto your bed, and began washing the blood off your hand in the small sink.

Your hand hurt to move. “Merlin, I’m being such a baby.” You said as you dabbed at the open wounds on the back of your hand. You put your wand in your back pocket before grabbing your bag, walking down the stairs into the common room.

“Did she say anything to you?” Fred asked George before he looked at you walking up to him. “Hey {Y/N}, what’s going on?”

“Well I’m going to the library to work on potions,” you said smiling slightly, “you can come you if you’d like.”

“I’ll go.” Fred said putting his bag on his shoulder walking out of the common room. “So, did you have to scrub moaning myrtle’s toilet?” He asked looking at you with cautious eyes.

“Not exactly, I had to write lines.” You shrugged, feeling your hand throb.

You sat on the couch in the library, Fred sitting on your left. You opened your potions book, beginning to read the lesson.

“Y/N, what happened at Umbridge’s?” Fred asked as he took your hand.

You looked down at your hand then your eyes meeting Fred’s chocolate eyes.

“I did lines. But the old hag had a twist. No ink. Her quills. And whatever I wrote on the parchment was written on my hand.” You explained working yourself up, “bloody hell I’m ridiculous.” You said as you put your face in your hands.

Fred took your hands and kissed the healing wounds on your hand, before he wiped the few tears that were rolling down your cheek off.

“You have to tell your parents.” He said tucking your hair behind your ear. You shook your head, “I can’t.” Seeing Fred’s confusing look you had to explain, “they work for Fudge. They can’t do anything about this or they’ll lose their job.”

Fred nodded in agreement he wrapped his arms around you letting you lay on his chest. He kissed the top of your head, laying his head on yours.

You intertwined your hands playing with his fingers as you sat like that, in the library, until you both had to get back to the common room.

❝ american horror story ❞ starter meme

from season two
content warning: slurs, sexuality

  • “ Do you think I’m full of shame and regret for what I’ve done now? ”
  • All monsters are human. ”
  • “ Let me give you fair warning: I’ll always win against the patriarchal male. ”
  • “ I cared for you, I coddled you; refused to see what others thought. ”
  • “ Bend me over a bread rack and pound me into shape! ”
  • “ You’re a dirty little slut with a poisonous tongue. ”
  • “ No. Whores get nothing. ”
  • I admired her purity. Her innocence. ”
  • “ I am not a monster! I’m a visionary. ”
  • “ Never trust a drunk. ”
  • “ I don’t judge. I never judge. ”
  • “ Are you ready for me? ”
  • “ Rubies are the most glamorous of all. ”
  • “ I don’t believe in God. But I do believe in evil. I’ve seen it up-close and personal. ”
  • “ What do you say we blow this pop stand, go savage a few elves, and then suck on each other? ”
  • “ You’re disgusting. ”
  • “ We all got our crosses to bear. ”
  • “ Come on, goddammit, give me a cigarette. I think I’ve earned it. ”
  • “ Well, hot damn. ”
  • “ Guard your thoughts, use your rosary. Each bead is His name. ”
  • “ Kill her. ”
  • “ You’re mine now. Body and soul. ”
  • “ You have no idea what it means to have lost you. ”
  • “ I want it burned down and the Earth salted! ”
  • “ We are vultures, attracted to the scent of rotted meat. ”
  • “ I’m blessed with the gift of total clarity. ”
  • “ You’re one tough cookie, you know that? ”
  • “ I am tough, but I’m no cookie. ”
  • “ Babycakes, I’m only just starting to toy with you. ”
  • “ He was so corrupt and deluded, he believed his own lies. ”
  • “ I knew it the moment I saw you. ”
  • “ I do hope you know what you are in for. The loneliness, the heartbreak, the sacrifice you will face as a woman with a dream on her own. ”
  • “ You don’t have any idea of what I’m capable of. ”
  • “ Just remember if you look in the face of evil, evil’s gonna look right back at you. ”

This bit of the City Elf origin always really, really gets me


It’s easy to lose sight of the value of money in games like this. When you’re not buying little necessities like food or shelter, it’s easy for all sense of proportion to vanish quickly, especially when you get to later parts of this game and you’ve got 300 sovereigns burning a hole in your pocket.

So I always really loved this moment, because it really stuck with me to drive the economic situation of the City Elves home. You get ten silvers on your wedding day, money scrimped and saved as a gift for you, and you can give it all to an old friend to let them rent a new place. It was a scene that really stuck with me as a bitty DAO newbie, playing through not only the Tabris origin but the game itself for the first time ever.

Suffice to say, getting to party camp and seeing a fancy enchanted set of armor going for 100 sovereigns was a real fucking “holy shit” moment. I’ve always kind of loved the game for doing that to me.

Give me a James Potter who sings loudly and terribly in the showers at 6am every morning. One that laughs at even the worst jokes and makes terrible puns. One who’s eyes crinkle when he laughs really hard, and his eyebrows scrunch together. One who tries to stay rational but can’t contain his anger if something is directed at someone he cares about. One that jumps to everyone’s defence with a raised chin and stoic face and fights until he is dying to breathe. One that whispers words of encouragement to the underachievers and shy students because he knows that sometimes all you need is the kind word of a stranger. Give me a James Potter who loves with his entire being, who squeals when he gets tickled and then adamantly denies it later, who reminds Sirius that family doesn’t mean blood, and Remus that his furry little problem doesn’t define him, and Peter that just because he doesn’t think he’s worth anything doesn’t mean that’s true, because to James, well, he’s worth more than gold. They all are.
Give me a James Potter who loves his friends so much that he would bleed for them.

Give me a Sirius Black who never brushes his hair and defensively refuses to do his homework on the night it is given (“We are given seven days for a reason, Moony! And I plan to spend six of those days procrastinating and dreading the seventh.”). One who thinks Muggles are geniuses and is always fascinated when Lily and Remus bring their Muggle thingymebobs to Hogwarts after Christmas break, who begs to play with them and then can’t for the life in him, remember what they are called or used for and ends up using the radio antennas as alien ears. One who lives in the same leather jacket and refuses to take it off (even when he sleeps) and smokes dirty cigarettes because the smoke reminds him of wispy dreams, long-forgotten. One who flops across Remus’ lap and forces him to braid his hair when he is angry because only Remus’ touch can calm him sometimes. One who undeniably gives the tightest hugs in the world because he knows the feeling of living in constant fear that everything you love is going to be ripped away. One who makes sure to let Pete win at Chess every single time and declare dramatically that he is no match for his best friend. Give me a Sirius Black who teaches Peter that he can do anything if he puts his minds to it, who pulls all-nighters when Remus is in the hospital wing to make sure his friend has someone to wake up to, who reminds James that love isn’t just flowers and singing chocolates, but glazed eyes and warm bodies and low murmurs in the moonlight.
Give me a Sirius Black who loves his friends so much, he would suffer for them.

Give me a Remus Lupin who never tidies up after himself, who leaves his dirty underwear lying all over the dormitory and simply forgets to pick it up. One who is always there to lend a hand, no matter who and what the task is. One who lives for Honeydukes chocolate, the ones with the caramel swirls in the middle that explode in your mouth when you bite into them. One who wears his father’s old, scruffy brown jumper that’s frayed at the hem and too long in the sleeves and doesn’t take it off for days at a time because it smells like love and home and life before. One who always knows how you are feeling and how to make you feel better. One who thrives off of the adrenaline of pranks and running away from screaming teachers; one who loves that laughter when you can’t contain it and it bubbles from your mouth and erupts from you lips like fireworks in the great hall on Christmas Eve. Give me a Remus Lupin who cried when he first saw the Marauders in their animal forms and still tries to pay them back for a debt he thinks he can never truly repay, one who knows all of James’ thoughts and exactly what he is going to say before he says it, one who lets Sirius crawl into his bed in the middle of the night after his friend has had another nightmare, one who always reassures Peter that the four of them would be nothing without him; they’d just be three idiots with bad haircuts and skinny legs (to which Sirius protests that his hair is lovely, thank you very much, and James splutters indignantly that his legs aren’t skinny, YOUR legs are skinny).
Give me a Remus Lupin who loves his friends so much, he would endure for them.

Give me a Peter Pettigrew who can’t fall asleep before the others because he is terrified they are going to disappear before him. One who knows how fragile they all really are, despite that tough exterior that manages to fool even themselves sometimes, but he sees right through it. One who can’t go a day without pumpkin tart and sometimes visits the house elves specifically to have some when he can’t concentrate because his mum used to make it once upon a time when things were better. One who squeaks when James tickles him and only feels worthy when they are planning a magnificently intricate plan that specifically requires him for it to work. One who comforts the homesick first years by conjuring blankets up for them and magicking little characters to act out whimsical stories of dragons and knights, where the good guys always win and the bad guys dissipate in red sparks. One who laughs the loudest and speaks the fastest and grins the widest when he’s in the company of his bestest friends in the whole wide world, his brothers. Give me a Peter Pettigrew who listens to James when he’s having one of his days where he’s too depressed to even move, who wakes up extra early to heal Remus’ scars from the full moon so he doesn’t have to wake up in more pain than necessary, who tells Sirius that he’s not a bad guy, not at all, in fact, he’s one of the greatest guys he has ever known.
Give me a Peter Pettigrew who loves his friends so much, he would fight for them.

Give me the Marauders who love each other with so much fervour and so much passion and so much heartbreak that they would, ultimately and undeniably, die for each other.


How is it I had no idea (until this weekend) that Legolas’ daddy was this fine?! Ok so when the Hobbit movies came out I really never plan to see them. To me they looked like lame versions of LOTR, which I loved. Didn’t want something that was just going to ruin that. So this weekend a friend forced me gently to watch them, also bribing me with alcohol didn’t hurt anything either. 

But I then I seen Thranduil…I’m all will fuck he’s gorgeous!! I’ve always had thing about Tolkien elves *sigh*. He made those movies for me. Would rather watch LOTR anything time, but I’ll the Hobbit movies will always be about Thranduil to me. I’m mad that they tried to make Orlando Bloom look younger or whatever as Leggie and failed so badly!! They should of just not messed with him with cgi!!

Heavenly Commentary: Deathly Hallows Pt2
  • Albus: I cannot believe that worked either. Between us, I am on miraculous form.
  • Lily: Albus, I swear if you don't tell us-
  • Albus: Relax Mrs Potter. All will become clear. Pay attention now.
  • ***
  • Sirius: Desecrating his body! Bastards!
  • Albus: He is not dead and feels nothing. Calm yourself.
  • ***
  • James: That...was Mcgonagall.
  • Lily: And Neville. So brave.
  • Sirius: Well here we go aga-
  • Fred: Neville got the snake!! I don't know why that's important but he did it!!
  • ***
  • Dobby: Kreacher! Kreacher fighting for the elves! Greatest of all the house elves!
  • Sirius: Kreacher is one of the greatest. But you're the greatest Dobby.
  • Regulus: I’d disagree. But there's no doubt they're both pretty amazing.
  • Sirius: Well look who turned up.
  • ***
  • James: Its glorious. We're winning.
  • Lily: Bellatrix versus Molly. I almost feel bad for that crazy bitch. Having to duel the last of the Prewitts.
  • Fabian: Last and greatest.
  • Gideon: Hell she beat us more times than I care to remember.
  • ***
  • Sirius: Thank you Molly.
  • ***
  • Cedric: Remorse?
  • Albus: The only thing that can heal a broken soul.
  • Remus: Perhaps you're being too kind Harry.
  • ***
  • Lily: I can't stand it. Oh God...
  • James: Be ready Harry.
  • Albus: Have faith in him.
  • James: HA-He did it...he's dead.
  • Lily: It’s over...
  • ***
  • Fred: He's leaving the stone?
  • Cedric: And the wand? Why?
  • Albus: Because he's better than us.
  • ***
  • Lily: It’s over. I can't believe it.
  • Fred: Still not sure about half the stuff that went on.
  • Cedric: I'll fill you in.
  • ***
  • Albus: I told you I had a plan.
  • Severus: Yes but you didn't actually tell me the plan. That was my annoyance.
  • Albus: Theatrics, Severus. Far more fun.
  • ***
  • Sirius: Why didn't you tell me?
  • Regulus: There was no time. Everything happened really fast. Plus you wouldn't have listened.
  • Sirius: I'm sorry. I know it doesn't help but, I'm listening now.
  • ***
  • Fred:
  • Albus: Boundless love. Under remarkable and terrible circumstance, can bring about magic that defies all laws of men and gods.
  • ***
  • Lily: Auror? Harry why go back to war? Why not be a teacher like Neville?
  • Alastor: Because for all his talk of peace? There is a part of him that is at home in battle.
  • ***
  • Cedric: Hey every-
  • James: Quiet! He's proposing.
  • Lily: One knee. Aw so sweet.
  • James: The ring is in the Snitch! This is the greatest proposal of all time!
  • Lily: She said yes!
  • James: Of course she did! The ring was in the Snit- oh! Oh my! It's time for everyone to leave. Now!
  • ***
  • Fred: My twin brother just started dating my ex-girlfriend. I don't know how I feel about that.
  • Cedric: Flattered? Second sexiest man she’s ever known.
  • Fred: You’re alright Diggory.
  • ***
  • Lily: It’s a boy!
  • Sirius: Obviously he's gonna be named after me.
  • James: Think again Padfoot. And no one ever used the middle name.
  • Albus: Congratulations. You're kind of grandparents.
  • ***
  • Albus: Another son! Very happy for you.
  • Lily: Thank-you. I wonder what he’ll...
  • Albus: ...
  • Severus: ...
  • James: Dammit Harry. I can't hate the man my grandson is named after! But I refuse to call you your real name!
  • Severus: That's fine. I still loathe you.
  • Lily: After all this time?
  • James: Fuck off Evans!
  • ***
  • Tonks: Hufflepuff! YES! SUCK IT LUPIN!
  • ***
  • Lily: Finally! A girl! This has to be me!
  • James: And Luna apparently.
  • Lily: Of course Luna. Haven't you noticed how close they are? He loves her as much as he does Hermione. Ginny too
  • ***
  • Remus: Prefect! HA! SUCK IT...NYMPHADORA!
  • Tonks: I'm gonna kill you.
  • ***
  • Cedric: I think it's time to move on.
  • Fred: What do you mean?
  • Cedric: Well there's supposed to be something beyond this. I’m going to find out. Care to join me?
  • Fred: I would. Let's go.
  • ***
  • Albus: Hello brother.
  • Aberforth: So this is where you've been.
  • Albus: Not just me.
  • Ariana: Hello Abey
  • Aberforth: Ari?
  • ***
  • Sirius: James is getting married. It's all gone so fast.
  • Lily: I think Harry feels the same way.
  • ***
  • Kreacher: Where are we?
  • Dobby: We are in a place of good, brave elves and wizards.
  • Regulus: And you, most of all deserve to be here.
  • Kreacher: M-master Regulus...
  • ***
  • Remus: Our son is getting married.
  • Tonks: He looks so handsome.
  • Remus: Gets that from you
  • Tonks: Was that a compliment or an observation?
  • Sirius: Both.
  • ***
  • Lily: It’s almost time.
  • James: He lived long enough to see his own grandkids go to Hogwarts. That's a full life.
  • Lily: It is. Here we go.
  • Harry: Goodbye Ginny. I love you.
  • James: Hello, Harry.
  • Harry: Mum, Dad. I've missed you.
  • Lily: We've missed you too.