me fangirling

Declaring to a band member
  • <p><b>Me:</b> BE MY BOYFRIEND<p/><b>He:</b> What? Who the hell are you.<p/><b>Me:</b> Your wife.<p/><b>He:</b> But I have a girlfriend/wife<p/><b>Me:</b> I don't care if you cheat on me, honey...<p/><b>He:</b> I don't know you.<p/><b>Me:</b> let's make cute babies.<p/><b>He:</b> SECURITY<p/></p>

anonymous asked:

The blowjob librarian, of course

Ok but every fic could be improved with a blowjob

Together They Keep Warm: “oh that’s such a cute little wooden bunny, Kristoff, how about a blowjob?”

Dark as Snow: “nice job repairing that fence! Care for a blowjob?”

Inevitable: “Man, Hilde makes the best spiced wine, would you stop being a jerk and let me give you a blowjob?”

Til We Meet Again: “I can’t believe you’ve been drafted for war before I’ve given you a blowjob!”

Take My Place: “I’ll fetch your horse, your highness. But before I do, can I get one more blowjob?”

Me listening to 5SOS be like
  • 5SOS:She sleeps alone...
  • Me:I sleep alone! The song is about me!
  • 5SOS:Every night she studies hard in her room, at least that's what her parents assume.
  • Me:Yass!!
  • 5SOS:Turn off the telephone and just be here with me...
  • Me:If I turn off my phone I wont be here with you idiot.
  • 5SOS:Every night replayed over and over.
  • Me:How did you know? Are you stalking me?? I knew it!! You guys love me!!
☆☆☆

happy pansexuality awareness day kiddos !! (☞゚∀゚)☞ as a pan i feel sooo involved in this, so if you want to share your thoughts or stories or selfies or anything, my inbox & submit page are always open ✧✧✧

((((also please fangirl over me on how much gabriel is unbelievably pan because he is af let mE LOVE HIM)))

2

For anyone who was waiting for confirmation: Felicia Day is absolutely a beautiful cinnamon roll, too good for this world, too pure. I feel like we had a ginger bond. The photos don’t do justice to her sincerity and beauty. Seriously, she said I had the most amazing hair she’d ever seen and sweetsandcaffeine I mentioned your haircut was inspired by her 😄. Thanks also to flowerjensen for fangirling with me and being generally awesome and not nearly as awkward as you tried to make out!

ALRIGHT GATHER ROUND TIME FOR LIFE ADVICE

There’s a post floating around on this Godforsaken website that says something like “find someone who you can be weird with and still want to get naked with you at the end of the day.”

AND LEMME TELL YOU HOW LEGITIMATE THAT ADVICE IS

I have finally found someone who wants everything about me. He wants my fangirling and weird phrases, jacked humor ( and when I say jacked I mean both messed up AND stolen) my body and my heart.

We can sit in a room together, not speak a word and play video games/watch TV and we are 100% a-ok with that. We really enjoy it. I also can act like a flightless bird that makes dinosaur noises/ Jenna Marbles jokes and he will still want to make out with me an hour later.

Find someone like that. If your current partner isn’t like this, find someone who is.

Find not contentment but happiness.