Why yes i can anon! So I accidentally like… created an entire storyline for university Jonas? But now i’m attached?
So the first time Jonas considers it is his first year of university and he’s standing in the middle of a party, sipping on some beer and staring at a boy with the brightest hazel eyes he’s ever seen. He thinks, “huh” and takes another sip.
It’s not like he’s weirded out by it, per se– how could he be considering his best friend is happily gay and as in love as any straight person could ever hope to be. And who is he to judge– people love who they love and sexuality is a construct and all of that.
He does the stare thing for a bit longer (read: ten minutes of looking at The Guy™ and then looking at the crowded room and back again). But then he walks over and suddenly Jonas embroiled in a heated debate with the guy (Alexander, he learns, and he’s an econ major) about Norwegian Trade relations.
And Jonas thinks that, wait, maybe that pull in his gut is just the universe showing him a new friend.
But Alexander grins some more and his eyes flicker down to Jonas’s lips and–well.
They end the night upstairs. They don’t fuck or anything, but there is some touching and caressing and feeling and yeah— Jonas’s heart was pounding because he’s never let himself explore this part of him. He’s never really thought about it. But now? Now the thought is definitely present.
But then the next morning when the real world has stepped back in, Jonas is scrolling through instagram and he comes across Noora and she is still the hottest chick he’s ever seen. And then she’s arm and arm with a redhead who also definitely does it for him. But so does the other guys she’s with if he really looks at him. So huh.
Flash forward about a week and Jonas is still a bit o.O about the whole thing. So he kicks back and lights up a joint in the comfort of his own room. And then after a few minutes he shrugs because alright. Girls are hot. And guys are hot too, let’s fucking go.
(“I knew I didn’t fall for straight guys,” Isak mutters into the phone when Jonas oh so casually drops the bomb, “But fuck you, it’s too late now. There’s only one man in my sights and his name is Even, bi-bud.”
Of course, that night he runs into Alexander at the dining hall. And Alexander invites him to sit down and join but Jonas declines, turning around to leave but stops. Because. Because. He asks Alexander if he wants to join him outside in the park instead.
So the sun is just setting, but Alexander spreads out his overcoat for Jonas to sit on and then lays out on his back in the grass. And Jonas is lowkey fascinated by long eyelashes fanning against cheekbones, but that’s beside the point. After a few minutes, he pulls out a joint from his pocket and raises a brow.
They relax and chat and finally Jonas asks Alexander about his own preferences (he’s apparently more of the strictly dickly countenance ) and Jonas admits that Alexander was the first person he had considered those guy-loving-feelings with. Alexander smiles and nods and then says “I think you explore that and I’ll help”
So they get to be really good friends. And yeah they mess around a bit, but Alexander also introduces Jonas to girls and guys. And Jonas goes out with many of them, and he enjoys himself always. He loves girls; he loves how soft their skin is and the feeling when their hair tangles between his fingers. But he also loves guys; he loves the feeling of a strong hand on his neck and the feeling of tracing his tongue on hard abs. So yeah, he loves them both.
But no matter what, he keeps coming back to one person in particular.
So it’s months later and Jonas and Alexander are laying in bed, playing video games when Jonas rolls over and says, “so i like girls and I like guys. But I think I like you most of all.”
And then Alexander grins, but doesn’t pause the video game. Then he says, “Yeah, i’ve been waiting awhile for you to say that.”
“i’m sorry but this boy look like he came straight out of the avengers movie and it’s not even funny. somebody call captain america”
“you know i just be judging internet couples who wanna blast “JUST GOT married”all up in my news feed .that boy will literally hulk smash his ass in to two, does he want to be crippled????? how thirsty does one need to be to be hoppin hulk dick???” ( when you see a couple that look dusty together and you just gotta go “that shit ugly,they need to stop” )
So I realized that like, I really want to have friends and stuff, but nearly every time someone contacts me first my dumbass brain immediately says “oh no they’re talking to you cause they have a crush on you!! But you don’t have a crush on them so this is really awkward, you’d better run away and hide!!”
And eventually the feeling dissipates, like the people I’m gonna be hanging out with today don’t fall under this category, and the people I talk to semi-regularly don’t fall in this category, but if I don’t imitate first contact that’s usually what my brain thinks.
Ch. 9 of Elysian is so well written. Like everything Jessica was saying made perfect sense, and like I just feel so like Riley. I can see why she doesn't want to ruin Lucas' happiness and again, she's letting it go in front of hers. I love this story so much, its so well written and has so much emotion. Its hurting me so bad right now because its just so well written. God Katie. I am preparing myself for the next bit of the story, I'm so excited but I am so afraid of whats going down next.
You know the feeling you get when you’re at the top of a roller coaster?