me and rachael :')

underappreciated things from twisted: the untold story of a royal vizier
    • the entire scene of jeff blim reenacting two separate personalities from twisted, but especially the callback to “you live here?” “i’m squattin’ here” where he’s “but i live here” “NOOOOOOOO you’re just squattin’ here”
  • joe walker’s Royal Vizier makeup, specifically the lipstick damn it’s good
  • the way that dylan says “a song is often a prelude…………… to a DIACK
  • robert manion, just in general. the one hit wonder that i fell in love with throughout the course of the musical
  • jim pavolo!!! i love him so much??? that deep voice can straight up eviscerate me and i would say thank you and sorry for inconveniencing him
  • the way that they say “totties” i’m just screeching it’s so cute and also hilarious
    • in the same vein, the little gestures that jeff does when he’s explaining about the princess
  • SHOW ME YOUR MAGIC CARPET
  • in the opening number when lauren asks “why is every one in the kingdom white” and jeff in the background just “mostly welsh actually”
  • “they’re stretch marks. they happen.”
  • he fucked a tigerrrrrrrrrr~
  • joe’s little “what” after they call him a tiger fucker for the last time
  • “usually when you poison my wine it means you wanna talk what’s up are you mad at me”
  • rachael forgetting aladdin’s name and spelling it wrong because that’s the cutest shit ever i’m sobbing
  • mrs. robinson you’re trying to seduce me.
  • “this wouldn’t have happened if you’d fixed the socio-economic inequality like you’d promised, ja’far”
  • dylan’s face after jim walks in after a song is a dick in sheep’s clothing
  • It is you, you’re just wearing different clothes.
  • how fucking attractive jeff blim is, i’m actually screeching he’s a hot boy
  • take off your clothes
  • I’M GONNA LIVE FOREVERRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
  • robert doing the wooshy noises of the carpet
  • “do you think ja’far could be right about aladdin?” (multiple yes answers, cameraman nods)
  • one person in the crowd says “i don’t think so”
  • “ME NEITHER!”
  • hey where do hippopotamuses come from? “africa” SEE YOU’D FUCKING KNOW THAT YOU SORCERER
  • it’s simple chemistry
  • aU cOnTrAiRe
  • demONIC FURNITURE
  • i only wished to have a COAT made out of PUPPIES
    • why would you do that?!?!?!?!??!?!?!
    • that’s insane! that’s insane.
    • denise’s little “but. but the puppy coat. the puppy coat”
  • Oh. Didn’t my tiger eat your ass? (beat) TIGER FUCKER TIGER FUCKER TIGER FUCKER
  • bring achmed his tiger and nobody gets hurt-
    • SHUT UP. STOP IT.
  • ja’far? Ja’farrr. Ja’FAR!
  • BEHOLD!!! BEHOLD!!!!!!! BEHOLD!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  • the Djinn being super in awe of the audience
  • “i’ve got to become” a Dickfor. “what’s a dick for?” BAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH
  • CHAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGE- oh shit (trips over cape)
  • youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu. you’re the guy who killed my parents.
  • wait. if i’m you? then that means. i KiLlEd My PaReNtS?
  • “what’re you gonna do with the lamp?” WISH FOR STUFF jACKASS!!!!!!!
  • ok jesus christ i don’t know what’s going on here
  • ja’far! you’re like. a devil guy.
  • the smug lil look on rachael’s face after she buys the entirety of Pixar to end the war
  • “don’t you mean….. princess?”
    • “oh. i am so sorry, princess.”
    • darn tootin.
  • joe’s tiny “wait what happened to ja’far?”
  • RACHAEL’S LITTLE “you’re a diamond in the rough” BECAUSE I DIDN’T NEED MY FUCKING HEART
  • phenomenal cosmic powers. shitty, shitty living space.
  • and may the rats ejaculate upon you”
  • maybe if you kept your face out of that motherfucking book like ok belle go back to reading
  • the very subtle gayness of abdul and the captain before abdul dies it’s so cute and pure and i sob
  • first i lost her to the sultan. then i lost her to heaven. DAMN DYLAN YOU DIDN’T HAVE TO GO THAT HARD AND YET
  • the one line that Jim sings all by himself “’cause you STOLE my DAUGHTER’S HYMEN” and it’s surprisingly soulful
  • jezebel??!??!?!??!?!?
  • it’s enough to make me wish i were lowly and poor……… but like. with money!
  • joe walker just in general he kinda stole the show for me a lil because he’s so good at playing villains especially prince achmed
  • uh huh. we put them in burlap sacks and beat them until they were dead.
    • yep. out of the highest window of the highest tower.
  • dylan’s little high note at the end of “1001 Nights” 
  • Science says you’re dead and gone forever, reason says I’m talking to the air…
    • thanks Dylan you’ve hurt me again
  • “is your penis an innie or an outie.”
  • OH YEAH ALSO THE KISS AT THE END LIKE YEAH DYLAN AND MEREDITH GET SOME
  • The Entire Musical Folks Just Please Appreciate This Musical More It’s So Fucking Good
3

For those who’ve reached Jessica Jones’ episode AKA the sandwich saved me: I like to imagine that this happened after Jessica saved the little girl~

I honestly need more of her saving people in that sandwich costume.