me and pizza

Do you ever like… have those days where you have to put up with waaaaay more bullshit in your job than you should ever have to? Because hoo boy do I have a story to tell yall about something that happened to me tonight.

I deliver pizzas for my job at the moment and tonight was particularly busy cause of the Oscars and whatnot. I pull into this apartment complex, trying to find the apartment building of the person I’m trying to deliver this order to and this lady in the parking lot approximately close to the building I’m looking for waves me down with her phone.

And I’m like… “Oh. That must be them?” And I slow down to see what she wants. And boy howdy was that a mistake because she was definitely not only the person I was NOT looking for but also incredibly drunk.

So I get out of my car and ask her, “are you the person in building 10, with this apartment number?” And instead of answering me with anything remotely coherent, she just slurs, “building 12″. And I’m just kind of standing there dumbfounded because I have no idea what this lady is trying to say, so I just ask, “Excuse me; what do you mean? What about building 12??”

I look behind where I’m standing and lo and behold, building 12 is right there. So I just say, “Oh! You’re looking for building 12. It’s right there!” And I point to it. And she just responds with “Take me to building 12”. 

At this point, I have no idea how to get rid of this lady cause I’m still on the clock trying to deliver this goddamn pizza and this lady is so drunk she thinks I’m a taxi service or something (despite there being literally nothing on my car that would distinguish it as such) so I just tell her to hop in - I figure she’s harmless enough being as drunk as she is.

So I just… drive around the block. In a big circle. It takes me like 2 minutes.

And I come back to the exact same place where she had stopped me, and I point towards building 12 and go, “There’s building 12 maam!

And instead of getting out of the car, she’s just kind of distantly looking in my general direction going “uhuh. yeah. uhuh.” Like in that way that you do when you have no idea what someone is talking about but you don’t want to look like a complete idiot in the conversation you’re having with them.

So I repeat it, and I guess she sorta gets the message cause she gets out of my passenger seat…

…and then starts walking towards building 11. Which is nowhere near the general vicinity of where I was pointing. 

At this point this guy’s pizza I’m trying to deliver is already like 15 minutes past when he was supposed to get it so I just… let her walk towards building 11, and get on with what I’m actually getting paid to do.

@teendallonbot


@/lynzway on twitter says: i can’t stand pineapple pizza. Anyone who likes that is a freak. It’s gross.

Dallon was shocked as he read what his girlfriend said, his favorite pizza was pineapple pizza. He loved it so much, but he also liked Lyn-z. What could he do?

Later that night, Dallon was eating pineapple pizza (that stuff as so damn good!). Suddenly, the door flew open- It was Lyn-z. “Dallon! How could you do this to me?” She exclaimed, with tears in her eyes. Dallon widened his eyes, “I’m sorry darling, I just love pineapple pizza so much!” Lyn-z glared, “It’s either me, or the pizza.” Now Dallon was crying. “I can’t believe this… I have to go with the one I love more.” Lyn-z smirked. He was going to chose her. Suddenly, the smirked was wiped off her face when Dallon said, “I choose the pizza.” Her mouth hung open, tears flowing heavily. “Goodbye, my love.” She whispered, before briskly walking out the door, and slamming it behind her. Dallon hung his head, “At least you’ll never leave me.” He whispers, before taking a bite of his pizza.

~the end~

anonymous asked:

OOOOOH SHIT my neighbor just came in and gave me a pizza do u want a piece it is spaghetti and meatball pizza and it is glorious

(( how the fuck do you make a spaghetti pizza

and sure ))