me and phil are gonna chill

For anyone who’s afraid they’re moving apart this year:

“2016 was a really crazy year for me and Phil, and we want 2017 to be more chill, a lot more YouTube-focused…then we’re gonna, just do some life things.” - Dan

“That is definitely gonna go on our wall for years to come.” - Phil

“Like what would happen if we did go further apart?” - Phil
 “I think the universe would rip in half, let’s not try that, Phil.” - Dan

Just Friends? || Dan Howell

A/N: Look! It’s a new dan imagine.Things get kinda hot at the end of this one so I warned you. 

Word Count: 1.3K

POV: Reader


Originally posted by leftfringe

Without me noticing it my head sunk down onto Dan’s chest. My eyes had fallen shut half way through the movie. I had fallen asleep not only in my friend’s flat but basically on top of him. Dan didn’t seem to care and drifted off to sleep not much later.

I started going to university half a year ago in a city that was completely different from my home town. It wasn’t easy to make myself a home here and manage all of the new challenges that I had to face. I had a little dorm room for myself and I got homesick and lonely from time to time.

Dan on the other hand had started uni 3 years ago. He already knew how things worked and he shared a nice flat with his best friend Phil. Dan was a friend of my elder brother and we had gotten on well before I moved here. Now that I was all alone in this big city and needed company I found myself hanging out with Dan a lot.

During my first few weeks here he showed me around and took me to his favourite restaurants. Now I was almost always welcome to hang out at his flat.

Today was one of those days. I felt lonely watching TV all by myself in my dorm room and half an hour later me and him were watching a movie on his couch.

I woke up as soon as the light that shone through the curtainless windows became too bright to ignore. The first thing I saw was a black shirt that I had nuzzled my head into. The first thing I smelled was Dan’s cologne. The first thing I noticed was Dan’s hand that was resting on my hip and almost on my bum. He must have slung his arm around me in his sleep.

I tried freeing myself from his grip without waking him up but his eyes shot open as soon as I started moving.

“Sorry.”  I awkwardly laughed and grinned at Dan’s terrible bed hair.

“I shouldn’t sleep till noon everyday anyway.” He told me, shrugging his shoulders.

He was chuckling at my morning voice but then the smile on his face vanished. His eyes grew wide instead as they landed on where his hand was resting on my hip. Dan quickly removed his arm. We had “friend zoned” each other the time we first met. Cuddling on the sofa was definitely something that could cross our friendship boundaries.

For a second we just looked at each other.

Neither of us said something.

“Ah, the cuddle buddies are finally up!” Phil suddenly exclaimed as he entered the living room.

“Shut up.” Dan and I groaned at the same time. I grabbed a pillow from the couch and threw it at him.

“Hey! I’m just telling the truth, Y/N.” Phil grinned while he defensively raised his hands.

“We didn’t even cuddle.” I told him, rolling my eyes.

“Sure, why don’t you check your phones and see for yourselves?”

I quickly glanced at Dan. He seemed to be as confused as me. I was expecting the worst as I unlocked my phone. 50+ messages in my group chat with Dan, Phil, my brother and some of their other friends that I had all met before.

Phil had the audacity to take a picture of us and post it in the group chat.

‘when were you gonna tell us, ;) ?’

‘Dan is getting some’

‘you are after my sister, dude!?’

‘just watching a movie huh?’

‘YO MATE Netflix and chill, imma right?’

I sighed as I read all of the boy’s texts. My brother being one of them. How embarrassing was that?

“How can you live with such a dumbass?” I asked Dan, pointing at his flatmate and best friend. My voice was loud enough for Phil to hear it on purpose.

“It’s all your fault. You were the one who used Dan as a pillow. And Dan literally hugged you tighter than his favourite teddy bear.” Phil chirped teasingly.

I could feel my cheeks heat up. “We’re just friends!” Dan and I shouted at Phil, who knowingly smirked.

After we ate some breakfast together I took the bus back to my dorm. I took my phone out of the pocket of my jeans in order to pass the time. I checked if I got any new messages and remembered the group chat and all of the boy’s texts.

‘You can stop printing your Dan and Y/N shipper shirts! Just friends!’ I typed.

After I sent my witty comment I scrolled up and stumbled over the picture of Dan and I cuddling. My head was nuzzled into his chest and he had his arms wrapped tightly around me. One of my thighs was put onto his. We did look like a cliché ‘relationship goals’ picture.

My heart sank as I caught myself smiling at the photo. I swallowed hard and quickly turned my phone off, leaving me staring at the black screen. ‘just friends, Y/N’ I whispered to myself.

After our cuddle session, nothing extraordinary happed between me and Dan for a while. I just visited him and we hung out together from time to time.


“No way, Dan.”

“C’MON just this one!”


It was a Friday night, Dan and I had just passed a few important exams and we were out to celebrate all evening with a few friends of ours. The two of us had just returned to Dan’s flat and he realised that he still had some left- over vodka. Although we already had a few drinks at the bar he somehow convinced me to drink the shot he had put into my hand.

30 minutes later half of the bottle was empty.

“Ooops” I giggled while I sunk down on the couch next to Dan and put my head onto his shoulder.  

Dan stared down at me, his deep brown eyes were hypnotising. I swallowed hard as I realized how close we were. I noticed how his eyes wandered down to my lips and stayed there.

Dan’s hot breath on my skin made my inside tingle. The desire to kiss him washed over me like a wave and there was nothing else I could think about. My skin started to glow as the unbearable urge to kiss him was just too much.

We quickly closed the gap between us as his lips crashed down on mine. His hands were back on my hips once again as he pulled me closer to him.

‘Oh my god’ I moaned in my head as I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled myself onto his lap.

I could feel his hands eagerly grab my bum as he leaned back into the pillow of the couch we were sitting on, with me still on top of him.

We broke our hungry kiss to catch our breaths.

“Holy shit, Dan!” I screamed as I realized what had just happened.

We unbelievingly stared at each other with wide eyes.

“Dan we’re drunk.” I whispered.

“We really shouldn’t do this.” Dan gulped.

We were both breathing heavily and I was still on his lap. I breathed in his scent and as I felt his hands on my bum the desire to be as close to him as possible returned.

We glanced at each other intensely before his lips were suddenly back on mine. I buried my fingers in his brown hair, making him moan. His tongue brushed my bottom lip, asking for entrance that I gladly granted him.

We were eagerly making out on his couch, ‘just friends’ was totally forgotten by now. I could feel his hard-on poke the bottom of my thigh and I moaned as I realized how turned on he was by me.

His huge hands started to explore my body, making me gasp as they wandered underneath my shirt and unclasped my bra…

Airport Texts

A fic compiled of mostly texts between Dan and Phil during Dan’s trip to the Bahamas. Inspired by this post from @danielbear 

Dan arrived at the airport, waiting for his flight to the Bahamas to board. 

Dan: i cant believe im doing this

Dan: why am i doing this

Phil: bc u love me

Dan: ur okay

Phil: :/

Dan: :P

Phil: im so happy u will be here for my fam holiday :)

Dan: me too :)

Dan: my flight is about to board

Phil: have a safe flight

Dan: its an hour

Phil: still be safe ♥

Dan: jfc did u rly just send me the heart emoji how cliche

Phil: ♥

Phil:  ♥ ♥

Phil:  ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

Dan: OMG okay phone is going on airplane mode now bye

Phil:  ♥

Dan: so theres people playing drums at the bahamas airport??

Phil: thats so cool!

Dan: its way less scarier here than american airports

Phil: good now come back

Dan: needy

Phil: :O

Dan: :P

Phil: stop with that tongue howell

Dan: oh should i spam you like you did with the heart emoji

Phil: ♥

Dan: border agent is so chill omg

Dan: he also insulted my pale skin

Phil: he should see me

Dan: i have time before my flight apparently

Phil: what r u gonna do?

Dan: go to the beach i guess

Phil: did the border agent pressure u into getting a tan?

Dan: apparently lol

Phil: have fun

Dan: i’ll try

Dan: my taxi driver just got out of the car and got in a fight with someone

Phil: what?? where r u?

Dan: i was in the taxi but got out and went back in the airport

Phil: and here i thought i ran into weirdos

Dan: u must have rubbed off on me

Phil: can i rub off on u tonight

Dan: :O

Phil: ;)

Dan: omg can u not srsly last thing i need rn

Phil: then come back already

Dan: i want to u have no idea

Dan: :(

Phil: whats wrong?

Dan: everything

Dan: i just wanna see u

Dan: :(

Phil: i know bear. when does ur flight board?

Dan: it doesnt it got canceled 

Phil: what???

Dan: one of the engines lost power apparently

Dan: :’(

Dan’s phone started ringing not two seconds after sending that emoji.

“Hi.” he answered the phone.

“Are you okay?” Phil asked immediately.

“Not really.” Dan told him. “This is just annoying and stupid and I just want to be back in Florida now.”

“What are you going to do? Is there another flight?” Phil asked.

“I don’t know. I think I might have to stay the night here.” Dan said and he could sense Phil’s frown through the phone.

Suddenly, Dan heard an announcement throughout the airport that said the engine was up and running and the flight to Orlando was back on and boarding in 5 minutes.

“Wait, they just said the flight to Orlando is back on.” Dan said into the phone.

“How can it be back on if the engine stopped working?” Phil asked.

“They said it’s up and running. Should I get on it?” Dan asked.

“Do you really want to get on a plane that has engine issues?” Phil questioned.

“I don’t know, I just want all this over with now.” Dan spoke quietly.

“Okay, I mean, I guess they wouldn’t let the flight happen if it wasn’t safe. So, get on it that way you don’t have to spend the night there.” Phil told him.

“Well, they said it’s boarding in 5 minutes and that was at least 2 minutes ago.” Dan spoke frantically.

“Okay, hurry and text me when you get on the plane.” Phil said. “Be safe, bear.”

“Okay.” Dan said. “I love you.”

“I love you, too.” Phil said. 

Dan hung up the phone and actually ran through the airport to catch the flight.

Dan: i just ran through the airport like a newborn giraffe that doesnt know how to use its limbs

Phil: thats quite the image

Dan: lol

Phil: good ur laughing :)

Dan: just bc i wrote lol doesnt mean im laughing

Phil: just try to relax and have a safe flight bear

Dan: ive got my death playlist ready :)

Phil: -_-

Dan: i’ll be fine dw

An hour later, the flight landed and Dan headed into the Orlando airport.

He walked in and spotted Phil there waiting for him.

For the first time all day, he smiled.

Pet Store Mayhem, Newt x Reader

imagine you own a pet store in the muggle world, and your boyfriend Newt stops by for the first time.

  • he knew you owned a pet store but since he was busy with his book he never had a proper chance to come and visit
  • and he had just finished it so he had a lot of extra time on his hands
  • meaning he was extremely bored
  • so he decided to visit you at work
  • okay but like let me just say how he would scare you
  • like you would be walking down the aisles, Newt would sneak behind you
  • prompting a very loud profanity from you
  • Newt laughing for five mins
  • thank god it was a slow night so no one really heard your outburst, except for a few cashiers, who were also laughing
  • “surprise!” he said with a broad grin
  • you honestly couldn’t be mad, he was too cute for his own good
  • you let him wander around the store, you only had 30 mins before closing, nothing could go wrong…
  • everything went wrong.
  • Pickett got loose so that meant that Newt’s wondering around turned into a scavenger hunt for him
  • “Don’t worry love, I’ll look for him while you start counting the draws, you won’t even notice I’m here.”
  • you were a fool to believe him
  • “Y/N, WHAT A WONDERFUL AND COLORFUL BIRD…OH THERE’S ANOTHER BLUE ONE…COME HERE, COME TO MUMMY.” yup, he opened the cage and they swooped past him
  • “Nope, Pickett wasn’t there.” and off he went to another section.
  • There were 4 tortoises, and 3 red ear slider turtles making their way across the aisles
  • 5 guinea pigs scurrying along by the dog treats
  • 4 cats chasing the guinea pigs
  • at least 5 puppies barking up a storm because  the parrot teamed up with the cockatoo and were taunting them with treats
  • your co workers and you were in both a state of shock and awe as you watch this go down all within a span of a few minutes
  • but don’t worry Newt found Pickett. 
  • he was chilling by the dog toys.
  • “Newt, put the fish net down or so help me god.”
  • you told your frazzled co workers that they could go home, that’ll you take care of the animals.
  • your two co workers didn’t need to be told twice
  • you calmly walked over to Newt, picking up a stray tortoise that was going the wrong way, holding him in your arms
  • “Newt, this is Phil, and Phil doesn’t like to be taken out from his cozy burrow. If he’s not back there soon, he’s gonna get angry, and so will I.” you said calmly. 
  • “Y/N…I’m so sorry, but you know me, i just love animals and these are all so wonderful…please don’t me mad.”
  • Nope, you were not going to fall for those puppy dog eyes.
  • “If you don’t bibbidi-bobbidi-boo those animals back into their enclosure, I will be beyond angry. You have three seconds.” 
  • he didn’t need to be told twice. 
  • “There! Everybody’s happy!” he said as he slung his arm around you.
  • “You’re gonna be the death of me…” you muttered, although you couldn’t help but smile at him.
  • “Love you too, Y/N.” 
  • “Next time you get bored, please, I beg you, just go and make a mess at Jacob’s bakery.”
  • “I’ll try to remember that next time.” he chuckled as you closed up the store and grabbed his hand as you left.
  • “We both know next time will be tomorrow, so terrorize Jacob tomorrow instead of me.” 
  • prayer circle for Jacob tbh because  Newt has a lifelong ban from your pet store
Sweaty Palms


Title: Sweaty Palms

Summary: It’s dark out and Dan just really wants to hold Phil’s hand.

Relationship: Phan

Characters / Pairing: Dan Howell, Phil Lester

Word Count: 754 (it was a cute request and i just wanted to let you all know im back lmao - this isn’t all that good but the prompt was toooo cuteee to resist)

Warnings: M/M, swearing, adorable conflicted Dan, internal conflict, hand holding, frustration, bants, annoyance, A FLUFFITY FLOOF, undecided ending (ie. you choose how it ends - do they end up together? are they just friends and it was platonic? up to youuuu)

Or the one where Dan’s unsure if the butterflies are from the darkness or Phil. #prompt #undecidedending


It’s sitting there, tempting him.

Dan stares at it while it swings innocently along in the brisk night air.

He’s never felt so much yearning in his life.

“I guess London decided to get really grumpy and leave us with clouds tonight, huh?”

Dan looks up at the sound of his companion’s voice.

Phil is walking beside him back from a quick trip to Tesco.

Only… They had to walk because Phil lost his keys to their car.

There’s a thick dark overcast, and - if he’s honest - Dan is a little unnerved by the dark shadows twisting and slithering closer to them in the blackness.

He subconsciously steps closer to Phil and his chest constricts. “Yeah, I guess.”

Phil glances over at him, and Dan can barely make out his blue eyes in the darkness. “What’s wrong, Dan?”

He blushes, thankful that it’s not bright enough for Phil to notice. “Nothing; I’m fine. Just exhausted because it’s the first time I’ve had to get exercise since puberty.”

“I’m pretty sure we went on a run together a while back.” His flatmate chuckles and continues walking.

Dan releases a relieved breath, Phil’s focus no longer on him.

Though he is still afraid of the dark, he is horribly embarrassed by his irrational fear and hates that he longs for comfort so badly.

And - of bloody course - this is one of those times.

His eyes drop back down to the pale hand swinging along beside Phil’s body.

Don’t grab it, Dan. That’s weird. He’s gonna get the wrong idea

Nonetheless, Dan finds his fingers twitching obnoxiously.

“Are you up for some more Free tonight? I know you really like that anime, and I feel bad for misplacing my keys…” Phil just continues talking, completely unaware of Dan’s internal struggle.

The long, slender white digits hang limply at Phil’s side, and they look so comforting. So soft

Dan’s stomach churns uncomfortably, and he’s not sure if it’s because of his nervousness about the dark or his intense desire to just curl into a ball and pull Phil down with him.


Phil with his shimmering blue eyes and his raven dark hair and his long, slender figure. Phil’s gentle words and his (oddly infectious) optimism and soft laughter. Phil is perfect for comforting Dan.

And damn that hand looks really inviting right now.


He glances up, snapped from his thoughts. “Hmm?”

The older man pauses and looks at him worriedly. “Are you sure you’re okay?”


“Yeah I’m fine. Why?”

“I asked if you want to watch Free to make up for the unwilling exercise you had to participate in today.” His friend frowns and Dan squints to see his expression; concern. “I know how much you love Haru.”

Dan flushes bright red.

That’s because he looks like you, you dingus.

“He’s a cartoon, Phil. It’s not like I’m obsessed.” Dan coughs awkwardly and makes direct eye contact as to appear unbothered.

Damn I want to kiss you. What is wrong with me?

“I know, I know.” Phil waves him off. “I’m just giving you a hard time; you’re not talking much so I’m trying to break the ice. I’m starting to run low, here.”

“Oh no,” Dan cringes, “you’re not gonna start saying th-”

“What did the noble gas say to the transition metal after Elements ‘n Chill?” The man sounds excited, and it flutters Dan’s heart a little.

He sighs. “What, Phil?”

“He lead neon!” Phil urges him, “Get it? It’s like saying ‘he led me on’ but with the elements lead and neon!”

“Are you a complete nerd?” Dan goes deadpan. “That wasn’t funny.”

Phil pouts and glares at him. “You’re not funny. I’m hilarious.”

“Right, Phil, you’re a comedian.”

“I am!”

“Sure thing.”

“Shut up, Dan. I’m funny.”


Shut up.

Dan sniggers and feels his stomach settle a little more. He smiles at the side of Phil’s head and a warm feeling crawls up through his veins, despite the chilly air.

What do I have to be afraid of? This is Phil… The one person I trust more than anyone.

Gentle fingers lace through the long, slender white digits and they no longer swing in the air freely, now that they’re occupied.

Dan can feel Phil’s hand tense up and his surprised and confused eyes on the side of his head, but Dan just smiles and keeps walking.

Neither mention it, but - slowly - Phil’s hand squeezes his back.

Dan smiles.

Maybe I was never afraid of the dark in the first place


Send your requests / prompts into my ask box (click here) with “prompt:” at the beginning if you have any ideas you’d like to share with me! :) Hope u enjoyed this mess <3

Dear people who get mad and take offense to people who don’t like dan and phil… Chill out! People dont have to like them! That what makes having opinions and having freedom to express yourself is so great! People dont have to like what you like. If everyone liked the same things there would be no originality… And the same rules apply for bashing people for likening things. There is people who like 1D (me) and people don’t like them, people who like BOTDF yeah i hate them but I’m not gonna bash people who do.

Live by my moto: someone has to like it, and thats the person who does. So what.

Surviving Evil - Final Chapter

Chapter Seven

[Dan’s eyes dropped to the floor, avoiding his gaze. “You know what they did with me. Please don’t make me say it, I can’t.” Dan pleaded, making Phil almost tear up.]

WN: references to rape/abuse, trauma, hurt!Dan, swearing

“You sure you’re gonna be okay?” The driver questioned as Phil helped his flatmate out of the taxi.

“I’m sure Dan will be, if he gets some sleep once we get in.” Phil answered, wrapping his arms around Dan’s shivering shoulders. It was really late, or just earlier in the morning, and the chill was horrible.

“I didn’t mean just him.” The woman raised an eyebrow, turning her body to face the two as they left her vehicle. “You’ve been through a lot, even if your friend - I’m sorry, what’s your name?”

Both pairs of eyes looked to Dan and he shot his gaze between them, feeling nervous. He opened his mouth to speak but no sound came out; did he remember his name? People had been referring to him with something, but the others had only called him ‘kid’ all night. Honestly, he couldn’t remember.

Phil noticed his lip quivering and squeezed him gently. “It’s okay, you’re just tired.”

Dan nodded in understanding but he felt horrid - he couldn’t even answer the simple question 'what’s your name’.


Once inside, Dan sat timidly on the sofa whilst Phil slipped into the kitchen to make them both drinks. Once he’d flicked the kettle on he gazed over at Dan and watched him look around himself, reminding himself that he was home, and that meant safe, and Phil couldn’t help but notice just how much smaller he looked now - not in height, just posture. He no longer had his usual confident stance, shoulders back, head up, a big happy grin on his face. No - he was curled into himself, eyes darting around nervously and limbs twitching in trauma. Dan had changed.

This wasn’t fair, Phil thought, Dan was a good person. He didn’t deserve any of this. Though, really, who ever did?

“Dan?” He called and the man shot his head around, eyes alert but full of exhaustion. “Do you want a cup of tea? I’m making them now.” He slowly nodded his head, not taking his eyes off Phil for some reason so he smiled back, turning to take two mugs out of the cupboard. He chose the Hello Kitty one just for Dan because he really needed to see him as his old self and scooped in lots of sugar - he’d need the energy.

Once he came back he set the mugs on the coffee table but didn’t sit down, and Dan looked up at him with wide and innocent eyes making his heart hurt. “I’ll get you some pyjama bottoms if you’d like?” Dan nodded and Phil turned to walk away but just as he took one step forward he felt a hand clasp his shirt, gently tugging him back. He glanced back to his friend and he stared back, eyes sad and desperate, almost pleading 'please don’t leave me alone’ so Phil turned back around. “You want to come with?” Dan nodded, bringing his bottom lip nervously between his teeth and carefully stood up, the action hurting him a little.

He kept his grip on Phil’s shirt, reminding him of a child, as he lead him to Dan’s bedroom.

“You can sit on the bed if you’d like,” he whispered softly and Dan reluctantly let out, moving to perch himself on the end of his bed. He looked so lost and confused that Phil couldn’t believe this was really Dan Howell - his best friend for over five years. He walked over to the drawers and rummaged through them, realising that Dan hadn’t said a word since he’d woken up from that nightmare. He seemed to sleep just fine afterwards, though nervously.

Phil finally found a pair and pulled them out, along with a new pair of boxers and T-shirt, and gave them to Dan who only gazed up at him blankly.

“Do you want me to leave the room?” Dan quickly shook his head. “Umm, well, do you want to turn around?” Dan paused, then nodded, and Phil quickly spun himself around. “Just so you know - I would never do that to you.  You don’t need to be scared about that. God, I couldn’t ever hurt you in any way. But if I ever do please tell me, no matter how small it seems, because I can’t bear to see you hurt, and I promise I don’t mean it. But I will try everything I can to make sure I don’t hurt you, okay? You’re safe with me.”


“Dan?” A pained squeal echoed through the room and Phil spun around, glancing quickly over the heap of his best friend on the floor, who had his trousers clumsily around his ankles. He must have lost his balance, Phil guessed. “You alright? That was quite the fall.”

Dan tried to sit up but his face contorted in pain so Phil knelt down beside him. He reached out a hand but Dan shook his head fiercely, grabbing his trousers again with his hands and pulling them up his legs. He squirmed on the floor to get them past his hips but once they sprang up he collapsed onto the floor, trembling.

“Are you okay?” Dan’s eyes looked back up to him and he nodded. “Do you want me to help you up?” Hesitating, he nodded and reached his arms out, flinching when Phil’s hands wrapped around his forearms and pulled him up carefully. Once Dan was on his feet again Phil immediately let go, knowing Dan wasn’t keen on being touched. The man looked down at the floor, embarrassed, and Phil was really hating how helpless he looked all the time. “Right - back to our tea, then?” Dan nodded and followed him into the other room, tagging along like a tail.

Phil sat down on the sofa and Dan joined him, both men reaching for their mugs and taking a sip.

“I hate to be rude but please say something, Dan. I can’t bear it.” Phil whispered, hoping he didn’t seem rude.

Dan stared at him blankly before setting his mug down.

“It’s hot,” he squeaks, voice timid and quiet. “My throat hurts.”

“Oh, sorry,” Phil places his own mug down next to his flatmate’s and twisted into his seat to face him. “So…” he started. “What did they do with you, exactly?”

Dan’s eyes dropped to the floor, avoiding his gaze. “You know what they did with me. Please don’t make me say it, I can’t.” Dan pleaded, making Phil almost tear up.

“We don’t have to talk about this right now - it’s fine, we can just go to bed–” Phil made to move but a small hand on his stopped him. Confused, he glanced down between them and saw Dan slowly taking his hand away from Phil’s.

“’M sorry…” he mumbled, shuffling away. “I’m fine. We can talk about this.”

Phil stayed silent for a moment before forcing an appreciative smile. “Okay - where did they actually put their hands and…stuff?”

“Umm…like, my wrists and ankles, and my hips, and all over my chest, a little on my neck, and hair, and my thighs…” his voice wavered as he fought reluctantly through memories. “Never my…you know. Just theirs. And they never kissed me, either. At least not on the lips.”

Phil nodded in acknowledgement. “And, err, did they do it a lot?” Dan nodded, biting back tears.

“It never seemed to stop…” he whimpered, bringing his limbs into himself defensively.

“Hey, it’s okay, you’ll get through this,” Phil reassured, and Dan took a deep breath to calm himself. “Loads of people get - I mean, go through this - and they recover. It won’t be like this forever.” Cautiously Dan reached out his hand and lightly touched Phil’s, gently sliding his fingers between the other’s soft ones. He looked up at Phil and, for the first time, held a genuine smile on his face, so Phil gladly let him hold his hand.

“There was this guy… Mike. The one that, you know, and he was kind to me. He wasn’t like the others,” his smile faltered. “He shouldn’t have been there. He didn’t deserve what Tyler did to him,” Phil watched as he shook his head solemnly. “He never even - no, wait. No. He did, didn’t he? Oh god… I remember; he DID do this to me. When I was in the field, the others were cheering him on, pressuring him to do it. He’d been so reluctant, I guess it peeved them off.”

Phil let him talk, leaning away briefly to retrieve his tea again but at no point detaching his fingers from Dan’s - he held them tightly, almost using Phil to keep a grip on reality and really he didn’t mind; it seemed to please his friend, so for that he was happy to oblige.

“I just - shit, I can’t believe he’s actually dead. I mean, they’re all fucking dead.” He wiped his nose quickly and sniffed, and oh god there was no way Phil could witness all this again. “Mike was a good guy. And now he’s dead.”

Phil shushed him gently and rubbed the back of his hand with his thumb. “You don’t need to talk anymore if you don’t want to.”

Dan sniffed again, but nodded in appreciation. “Okay…” he breathed.

“Want to get some sleep now? It’s been a long night for you.” Dan nodded again, retrieving his tea before standing up and letting Phil lead him to his bedroom again by their still entwined hands; he stared down at them and surprisingly he couldn’t help the small smile that grew across his face. It actually made him…happy.

Reluctantly he finally let go and made his way over to the bed, craving its softness. “I think I can do this on my own.” He muttered, lifting the covers and slipping beneath them. Still, Phil walked over and tugged the covers over Dan’s tired body, earning a yawn as a thank you. Dan placed his tea on the side and snuggled beneath the covers, wrapping himself up in the warmth and softness and safety of the bed; his bed. However, as Phil made to leave Dan found his hands reaching out to grab his shirt and gently tug him back. “Noo…” he whined.

Phil turned back to him, raising an eyebrow in concern. “What? Is something wrong?” Dan paused, then shook his head. “Then what is it?”

“Can you…umm, stay? Please?” He gazed at Phil with hopeful, innocent eyes and they was no way he could say no.

“Okay. But where do you want me to go?” Dan looked around the room, lips curling in thought, before reaching for the other corner of the covers and pulling them up invitingly. “Oh - you want me to sleep in here?” Dan nodded. “Are you sure?” He nodded again, this time with more conviction, so Phil slinked around bed and under the covers, curling himself up and facing his friend by laying on his side.

Dan did the same and found Phil’s hand again, slipping his fingers tentatively between Phil’s; this was turning into a therapeutic habit, much like sucking your thumb. “Could you, err…would you, ohh…” Dan blushed lightly, glancing away. “Would you maybe kiss my head?” He buried his face into the covers.

Phil’s eyebrows raised, certainly not expecting that. “What? Really?”

Timidly Dan nodded. “You’ve done it before and it’s nice.” he dove deeper. “Please?”

Phil sighed, shuffling closer and pressing his lips to the top of his friend’s head, on his hair. Dan giggled and slowly poked his head out of his puffy shell like a tortoise. Without being asked Phil placed another brief kiss to Dan’s forehead, watching after he’d pulled away as Dan’s eyes flicker closed and the corners of his lips twitched into a smile. He fluttered his eyes open, seeing Phil was extremely close but not feeling any dread. Suddenly, no one could tell who initiated it, their lips had met in a gentle kiss and Phil pulled away quickly, covering his face in shame.

“Oh god, I am so sorry! I didn’t mean - we shouldn’t have - Dan, I–” he stumbled clumsily over his words, cutting himself off once he heard Dan giggle.

“Phil, it’s okay. That was…nice, actually.” He smiled softly, reassuringly.

Phil blinked once, eyes bright and hopeful. “Really?” Dan nodded. He grinned, and leaned forward to gently brush his lips against Dan’s causing that adorable little giggle to leave his mouth again. “We should get some sleep now. We will come back to this tomorrow.”

Dan curled himself up, for the first time not in a weak, defensive way, and slowly closed his eyes. “Phil?”

The other groaned, trying to sleep. “Yeah?”

Dan smiled lightly. “Thank you.”


Weeks drifted by without much thought from the two of them; policemen, police stations, court summons and therapist visits flew by before they could catch them. It was almost like they were on a train, with the world passing by around them.

When Phil had first called the police round Dan was shaking in his room, refusing to see them. Phil knelt down beside him but didn’t try to lay a hand on him.

“It’s alright. You don’t have to talk to them yet if you don’t want to.” Dan whimpered his name and stood himself up, hand fumbling for Phil’s as it always did when he felt a memory coming back or panic rising - he’d squeeze it gently and Phil would know how to help him, like the therapist had told him.

“I’ll try…” Dan whispered, tilting his head to the side to allow Phil’s lips to place a gentle kiss on his forehead before leading him outside.


Now they lay in each other’s arms - well, Dan half-asleep curled up in Phil’s lap. As Phil gazed down at him, sweet and young and almost okay again, he couldn’t help but smile. He twirled his hair between his fingers and saw a smile play on Dan’s lips, signalling he was still awake.

“Hey, Dan?” He whispered, and Dan’s body shuffled onto its back and he opened his eyes, gazing lovingly up at Phil. “What are we…umm, do we…umm…” his lips curled in thought and he blushed lightly. “What are we doing?”

Dan cocked his head sleepily. “'Doing’?”

“Like, are we together?” He couldn’t help but notice just how affectionate they were to each other, with brief forehead kisses and stolen ones on his lips, fingers tangled together or threaded through hair. When Phil asked to check Dan’s body for bruises and marks he kept saying how beautiful he was, how beautiful his skin was, and reassured him that what those sick men had done didn’t make him filthy. He was beautiful, he’d told him, but that didn’t mean he deserved it.

Every second they spent together just seemed so full of…something.

Dan simply blinked, eyes half-lidded with weariness. “I don’t know. But you know I love being with you like this,” he wrapped his arms lazily around Phil’s middle and snuggled closer into him.

“Well that’s helpful, I think. Because I just want you to know that I love you–”

“I love you too.” Phil put his hand lightly over Dan’s mouth to quiet him and he couldn’t help but giggle.

“I wasn’t finished. I don’t mean it in the way we’ve been throwing it around lately - I really mean it.”

Dan’s eyes softened and he stayed quiet for a moment. “You love me?” Phil nodded slowly, but he watched as Dan’s face fell unexpectedly. “You can’t. We can’t be a thing.”

Phil tried to hide his disappointment, but it was difficult. “Why not though?”

The other sighed sadly. “Because. People get in relationships for sex, and I can’t…have…sex…” he trailed off, averting his eyes from Phil’s.

Phil’s hand reached down a gently cupped Dan’s cheek, leading him to look up at him. “Dan. I love you, so I would never ever make you do something you weren’t okay with doing. You remember that, right?” The younger nodded. “So we wouldn’t have to have sex, not ever if you weren’t ready. And I know what you’re thinking - and I’ll telling you that I could never force you into it. So you wouldn’t ever have to worry with me.” He let his thumb brush along his cheek lovingly and Dan closed his eyes.

“Of course I remember; I gave you my virginity, all those years ago. And it wasn’t easy, 'cause you were so reluctant, in a caring way.” He laughed and Phil pouted, feigning offense. “But yeah - in all seriousness, if I got a boyfriend I would be so nervous all the time that they might want something from me that I couldn’t give them… I think you’d be the best boyfriend a mess like me could ask for.”

Phil leaned down and connected their lips softly, feeling Dan happily kiss back, and pulled away briefly. “Thank you.” They were going to be okay together. Dan would get better with Phil’s touch and affection always there for him when he needs it. Things wouldn’t be able to return back to normal, of course not, but did the past really matter when they had a future together to look forward to?

the video on phil’s channel tomorrow...

so as you all might now apparently there’ll be a new video on phil’s channel tomorrow, joint by dan (wherever that information came from). i didn’t really believe in that until i saw that dan tweeted this during the barnes & noble q&a today:

*sigh* will they ever let us chill. as you might know, the tabinof audiobook will be released TOMORROW too - many people from the phandom didn’t really know about that, because dan and phil didn’t really announce it like e.g. tyler oakley did.

so i’d say (if it’s not even actually pinof 7 because if so i’m gonna die) it might be a video about that? it doesn’t really make sense i know. it’s 12:28 am where i live and i only slept for like 4 hours last night so don’t judge me ok

goodnight guys (^_^)

LeafyIsHere Sentence Starters.
  • "Holy shit... this guy's fucking nuts."
  • "This man is seriously mentally fucked."
  • "Let me go grab a Redbull, 150mg of Adderall and of course last but not least Crystal Meth."
  • "This is the kinda dude that's gonna fight off girls that are trying to have sex with him."
  • "You know that one guy with the fucking fedora."
  • "12,000 leagues under the sea long."
  • "Side note, by the way, can you guy's actually imagine sitting on a fucking pencil?"
  • "Or even worse than prison with real serial killers... one of those horrible reality shows."
  • "I hope he swan dives into the woodchipper, and maggots eat every bit of corn out of his rusty asshole."
  • "THAT'S one step above being hired by Bill Nye the science guy to rap at the end of one of his videos...talkin' about molecules and shit."
  • "That's a lot of fucking gravy."
  • "Wait, what?"
  • "I can seriously taste his bad breath through the fucking monitor."
  • "—you fucking manchild."
  • "If you don't stop, instead of Dr. Phil, they're gonna start calling you Dr. No fucking chill."
  • "I'm not going to give you 200 dollars, you bald FUCK."
  • "This man has completely lost his fucking mind."
  • "He transcended into a fucking T-Rex."
  • "Oh My God."
  • "You fucking cup."
  • "100 likes and I'll save this man."

imagine dan and phil moving into a house together, like looking around for months until they finally find one that’s perfect where they can get a garden and a dog and imagine them moving in and realizing they don’t have enough stuff to furnish an entire house so they’ll have to go furniture shopping but that night they’re way too tired so they don’t even bother setting anything up they just sleep on the floor and stay up late talking about all the ways they’re gonna make the house their home and what colors the walls will be and everything and phil wants bright colors and dan wants black but they both know it doesn’t really matter they’re just so happy and they’ll make it work everything will be fine and just imagine dan and phil moving into a house

The Danisnotonfire post saying Phan is Real is fake, understand please that Tumblr used to have a feature where you could edit textposts to say what your heart desires, but the Phan is Real edit is horrible, Dan doesn’t need this, don’t repeat 2012 in 2016. We are 6 days into this year and already something bad is happening involving Dan and/or Phil. The Phandom is loosing it’s chill, Dan and Phil have feelings and are human, AND have freedom of opinion on this “Phan is Real” Post.
Honestly I think the Instagram Phandom is gonna start hating on the Tumblr Phandom, and which me, being part of both, I have both sides in this conflict.
But other than that, the post must be deleted, one way or another.