me and my baby (love saturday nights)

I told you how badly you broke me. You were in everything I did. I couldn’t look at the colour blue without thinking of your eyes and the way that they held a steady gaze when you wanted to tell me you loved me. I told you how much it hurt to hear our song and how it hurt to sleep alone.
But that didn’t matter. What mattered to you was the way her hand felt in yours and the way that her lips felt instead of mine.

Every Saturday I go out with new friends and I enjoy myself. I try not to wish you were with me. I don’t listen to our song anymore. When I see the colour blue I redirect myself to the thought of the blue in my baby sister’s eyes, not yours. I sleep soundly at night and run my fingers through my dogs fur, feeling nothing but comfort. I don’t toss and turn anymore. I do these things to avoid the thought of you, because sometimes it’s too much. I try to think of what I have instead of what I lost.

A random Saturday night at 1:02am you called me to tell me you’ve been missing the way I kissed your nose and how I used to hold your hand in my sleep.

It’s Saturday and I’m busy. Please don’t call again.

Remember that time Tina Fey and my math teacher went to prom together and my math teacher gave me the picture for secret santa cause im obsessed with 30 rock? also remember that time he signed the picture, which was kind of douchey but its okay cause now I have a picture of Tina Fey at prom? Yeah I remember that too.


Thanks everyone for the love, it got a little scary there for a minute. But G-Baby and I are having a nice personal day.

Saturday I made a vet appointment for this morning because he hasn’t been eating and has had some poop accidents outside he litter box. Last night though he pooped outside the box then we couldn’t find him. He wouldn’t come when we called or crinkled treat bags.

We finally found him hiding in this tiny spot in my closet he’s never hidden before. That instantly freaked me out because I know when cats are sick they hide away.

He was acting very strange, withdrawn, lethargic. I was worried so we took him to he ER. With his history of liver problems, the vet said it was probably that.

Since I already had my appointment for this morning he was okay with taking him home overnight. They gave him fluids because he was dehydrated, which probably constipation and the poop accidents. They also gave him nausea meds which might have been why he wasn’t eating.

When we brought him home he was instantly more himself. He was walking around, he ate some wet food input out for him, begged at our dinner and ate turkey Alex gave him. This morning, he came when I called him and was all snuggles.

At his appointment the X-ray came back fine. Blood test and urinalysis back tomorrow. It’s definitely liver problems again. We should hopefully know more then, what next steps to take.

I have to give him SQ fluids that should help with dehydration and constipation, nausea meds that should help with any appetite loss he may have had from being nauseous, liver meds for liver support and an antibiotic for any infection.

I was so tired from last night I was going to go in for a half day after a nap, but work was slow so I took a personal day. I’m just worried about this little fur babe, it’s so hard to tell with them! They can’t tell us how they feel. Thanks for keeping us in your thoughts.


Brisbane tour outfit is done! I’ll be your very own junior Jewel available for band practice on Saturday the 5th from the b stage pitch.
My junior Jewels shirt has the songs from 1989 listed on it, some of my favourite songs from other albums, a flamingo, a tree and a whale as well as the tumblr Swifties URLs that I am attending the shows with @tswiftyaussie @brave-wildlove @bigbroswift along with @cherrylips-crystalskie-s @wildest-swift @state-of-grace19 and @soph-ts-love-13 my Sunshine Squad babies.

I’ll be having different glasses on the night as Le boyfriends prescription lenses did nothing but cause me a headache, hence the lack of quality in selfies!

I can’t wait to see you qld girls in Brisbane and the rest of you in Adelaide and Melbs!

It's Just Not Me

Request: Heyyy 💜🙉 I love your writing! I don’t know if you’re taking requests or not but If you are itd be nice if you wrote something about you NOT wanting to have babies and how he would react, any guy is ok ☺️ Thank you!

Calum and I were watching a movie on a Saturday night, we didn’t feel like going out tonight. I had lost interest in the movie a few minutes ago so I was on my phone, looking at the tv every now and then just so that I still knew what was going on.

It was a movie about a couple having a baby and that was pretty much what I knew of the movie. It surprised me that Calum was so much into it, it was definitely more of a girl movie.

“Aw,” Calum murmured after a few minutes, causing me to lift my gaze from my phone. “The baby and the dog,” he smiled at me and I rolled my eyes.

“Can we watch something else?” I asked with pouted lips. “The movie’s pretty bad,” I stated as I locked my phone before I moved closer to him on the couch.

“I know,” he laughed, “But look at the baby, he’s so cute,” he said as he glanced at the television screen. My eyebrows raised in confusion as I watched my boyfriend. His arm wrapped around my shoulders and draw me closer, his eyes glued to the tv.

“Cal,” I mumbled as he turned his head to look at me. “Do you want a baby?” I asked, uncertain and scared of his answer.

“Do you?” He replied and somehow the look on his face was the answer to my question. He did want a baby, but now he wasn’t so sure about my answer.

I slowly shook my head no, a weird feeling in my stomach appearing. I felt bad for disappointing him, the look on his face made it even harder for me.

He sighed deeply before he replied, “But I don’t understand,” he said, “You’re always the first to take a baby in your arms and you love babysitting.”

“Yeah, I do like it. I like babies and kids, I just don’t think I’d be a good mom. I like to be around babies for a short amount of time. I couldn’t spend an entire week with a small children,” I replied with an heavy chest. “It’s just not me,” I whispered, “I’m sorry.”

He stared at me in silence, making me feel worse every single second.

“Say something,” I begged as I leaned my forehead against his chest. “I’m still young, I have time to change my mind and-”

“You don’t need to change, Y/N,” he replied.

“I’m sorry,” I sighed.

“It’s not because the majority of people wants to have kids that you’re wrong. You can want anything you want,” he replied as I slowly pulled away from him so that I could look into his eyes. I gave him a small smile, glad he wasn’t too mad at me.

“I still have time to change my mind,” I reminded him, only because I didn’t want to hurt him. And it was true though, I was still young and there were chances that I’d want kids in the future.

“I’ll just buy more dogs and we’ll go spend time with the boys’ babies,” he smiled, making me laugh. I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed his lips, hoping he would understand that my choice wasn’t meant to hurt him. I wanted to apologize another time, but I knew it wouldn’t help anything.

“Thanks,” I muttered against his lips.


You Don’t Believe Me { p. 10 }
REQUESTED: Yes, very requested! I love you guys.

PLOT LINE: Y/N await’s for the news of Luke and Callie’s possible baby and things come crashing down quickly. Who knew that life could change this much.

SMUT: Nope

You Don’t Believe me // part two // part three * //part four * // part five // part six // part seven // part eight // part nine 


It was a Saturday night and the tears ran down my cheeks, my visage a picture of destruction as I sobbed into my hand. The laptop lay smashed upon the floor, things weren’t what you’d expect them to be. Three years changed a lot, personally, it had changed me. Clawing at my hair I pushed up from my seat and walked away but her voice stopped me.

‘’Don’t fucking do this again, Luke‘’ Callie yelled and I just stopped in my place, afraid to make another sound or say anything at all because every time I did it just hurt her more. I could hear her heavy breathing — I’d caused this, I’d made her feel so small and I hadn’t intended any of it. To be honest I just kept making matters worse as I gnawed aimlessly on my lip. ‘’You can’t keep telling me you love me, and when I go to use your laptop I see her name everywhere, on this history, on your latest searches, Facebook…I can’t fucking take it.‘’ She screamed.

I bet you are wondering what happened? After Y/N and I ended — And I was left with Callie and my child, for the first year I focused all my time on finishing school, and getting a part time job to support myself and our beautiful baby boy ( May I add his name is Kyle )

I ran a hand down my face as I shook my head ‘’Callie I’m trying, I am fucking trying. I am working my ASS off. I don’t do anything but work, or play music to make extra cash so we can afford what we need.’’ I tried everything in me to get her to see I was tired, exhausted and just generally dull.

‘’What does that have to do with you keeping tabs on Y/N?’’ Callie snapped. I slammed my hand against the wall, as anger boiled up inside of me.

‘’I left her for you, the least I can do is keep tabs on her okay!’’ I screamed, I never let my voice raise around her, especially when Kyle was asleep upstairs in bed. But coming home to my laptop smashed, and her screaming and the last thing I’d needed, I just lost it.  I could see Callie seething at this point, and I knew I was sleeping on the couch ( again. )

‘’She is engaged to SOMEONE else ‘’ Callie screamed and I sobbed without even meaning too because I shouldn’t. I shouldn’t be putting Callie through this but I was — for the millionth time. But it was eating me up inside that I was actually unhappy in this relationship ; I’d never been totally happy with Callie. She wasn’t the type of person I wanted to spend the rest of my life with but I owed it to my family to try. Y/N had gotten engaged not too long ago and I remember the feeling in my heart as if someone had cheated on me. Of course she hadn’t, she was free to love and life like I had. But I missed her every day because we never stayed friends, or met up.

I never saw the boys anymore because of all of this. They were still super close with her, I knew that because I always say their snapchats of them together doing crazy stuff. I guess you could say Harry replaced me rather quickly in the group. It’s nice to know I was so replaceable. I knew it was what I had to do to be a good dad, focus and get my life together but fuck— I missed them all so fucking much. I missed the fun times, I mean I could still have that if I wanted but Callie would hate it. She hated everything to do with Y/N and I.

‘’I’m sorry… ‘’ I whispered again my voice a picture of cracks and broken.

‘’It’s not good enough this time. I’m going to go and make sure Kyle is okay.’’ She snapped as she turned on her heel.

‘’C-Callie?’’ I called as my voice shook. She hummed in response causing me to sigh. ‘’Am I on the couch?’’

‘’Yes.’’ She snapped again before leaving and I dropped to sit down burying my head in my hands. I wasn’t happy anymore, I was starting to drown in my own life and it was killing me. I wondered if Y/N was as happy as I was truly? Or if she felt what I did right now? Regret. So much fucking regret.