Tom Holland defending his partner’s pronouns.

Asgard, finally settling in Norway to repopulate:  So, what are the Nordic lands famous for since we were last here? Swordsmanship? Hunting parties? Bloodbaths?!?!

Millenial sipping iced coffee: Abba

Asgard: ???

Asgard, twenty minutes later bopping to Dancing Queen:

ever wonder that peter took longer to turn to dust than everyone else because he was the one most scared of dying and tried to fight it back

also bucky was gone in a blink of an eye so ever wonder if he was the one with the least amount of will to live

Happy: So, how’s Peter? Is he still sick?

Tony: I told him he couldn’t eat ice cream for breakfast and he told me I wasn’t his best friend anymore, so we made a compromise.

Happy: Which was?

Tony: I gave him two bowls of ice cream and now I’m his bestest friend in the world.

my headcanon for nick fury not calling captain marvel in right away is that they had a bet back in the 90s on how long nick will survive without her help. they bet on 30 years, and nick almost caved when battle of new york happened but that suicidal motherfucker yeeted the nuke into space so it was all good, no need for carol yet when he has the avengers, but then the avengers broke apart and nick silently prayed that theyd reunite to kick thanos’ ass but they failed and that is why he said “motherfucker” in disappointment at the end of infinity war, cause only 2 damn years left and he’d win the fuckin bet of the century but the Avengers had to go and Be The Worst At Everything and make him lose the stupid bet God dammit

Okay but.

Steve needs to have a Swear Jar and every time someone says a profanity in front of him, he just holds it out. The especially bad ones cost two dollars, don’t think Steve will let you get away with that. And this goes on for months and months and when Bucky starts coming around, he notices it. And he also notices how Steve doesn’t swear in front of any of the Avengers.

And when he gets Steve alone, he’s like, “what gives, you’ve got the worst mouth out of anyone I know.”

And Steve, with a perfectly innocent expression, says, “they made assumptions, Buck. I think those assumptions should at least buy a new bike, don’t you?”

And Bucky just stares at him, awed, like, “I forgot how fucking devious you are.”

Dating Tom Hiddleston and being younger than him would include...

Originally posted by maryxglz

A/N: This has been so requested, and I was SO excited to write it!!!! Hope you all like it xx

  • Things going to fast at first, probably
  • Because he’s go hard or go home
  • Trying to slow down when the first comment about the age gap between you two comes out
  • Having a honest conversation with him about your relationship
  • Him telling you that people will always talk shit, but that as long as you feel the same that he does, everything will be fine
  • Tom literally kissing you so you won’t have any other argument to try to break up with him
  • “Shh… we’re good, we can make this work”
  • Him being SO protective over you
  • Not talking about you on interviews or anything like that
  • Whenever someone asks about his girlfriend, he says “we’re fine, thanks” and changes the subject
  • Introducing you to his mom once things get serious between you two
  • Teaching you a lot about Shakespeare
  • Not always taking you with him when he leaves the country
  • Facetiming him a lot
  • Teaching him how to use Facetime
  • Him waiting until you’re ready to meet your family, as he knows they may not approve the relationship
  • Taking things slowly now and never talking about marriage
  • Especially because it’s not certain that both of you wants to get married, at least not now
  • Tom definitely having a thing for when you call him “Sir” during sex
  • Him calling you baby girl
  • Or honey, whenever you’re in public
  • Watching plays with him
  • Whenever life gets too hard, he helps you by hugging you and listening to you
  • And then teases you by saying “oh, you’re growing up so fast”
  • Just to make you smile, actually
  • Tom totally respecting you and your autonomy
  • Just as he would do anyway, regardless of your age

Peter, a gen z kid: I’m here I’m bi and I want to die

Tony, in tears, secretly setting up appointments with 172 different child psychiatrists: same

hot take: thanos knew about tony from that one planet he visited where everyone worshipped tony as a god, thats why thanos felt threatened by tony cause he tries so damn hard to be seen as god by killing millions and still fails at it but this fucking mortal from Unimportant Rock #23 has a whole fucking alien race worshipping him even though theyve never even seen him

So thanks to that scene in Homecoming where Happy says to Dum-E “that thing’s worth more than you or me” it’s occurred to me that everyone in Tony’s life probably has to go through stages of realizing a) Tony treats his bots like people and b) they now have to treat his bots like people, followed by a period of awkward human-bot bonding. And someone like Pepper would probably think they were endearing from the start and someone like Happy would be like “seriously I have to call this robot by name and consider its feelings” before becoming secretly attached and Bruce would probably be on board but a little confused about why Tony can’t afford better robots, and all the while Rhodey would be looking on and laughing because he’s been around since the beginning so he knows. Anyway that’s my wholesome 3AM iron fam headcanon, please continue to go about your business

Dating Sebastian Stan and being younger than him would include...

Originally posted by buckysqueenbitch

A/N: I love Sebastian way too much and it’s probably not healthy

  • Him being insecure sometimes, thinking that you will find someone your age and leave him
  • You reassuring him that “that’s definitely not happening”
  • And him reassuring you too because you know, he’s always working with a lot of gorgeous women
  • Sebastian wanting to take things really slow
  • Definitely not putting you on the spotlight of fame
  • So he’s really protective over you
  • Calling you “baby”
  • Taking you to meet his mom and telling you that she’s gonna love you
  • You spending way too much time on his place
  • Him eventually telling you to just move in already
  • Travelling with him to places you’ve never been before when he’s on vacation
  • Him teasing you whenever you can’t do something
  • “Here, let me do this, you’re too young”
  • Sebastian covering your eyes whenever you two are watching a movie and there is a sex scene
  • Lazy make out sessions in the morning before he goes to the gym
  • Him supporting the career you wanna follow, it doesn’t matter which it is
  • “You know, when we get married…”
  • But knowing that you want to wait a little bit before actually getting married
  • You always sitting on his lap because it’s just too comfortable
  • Cooking for him 
  • And him definitely teasing you if you mess something up
  • “Kids are not supposed to play with stoves, babe”
  • You teasing him back whenever he calls his mom because he wants to eat something but doesn’t know the recipe
  • “There’s something called internet, you old man”
  • Romantic and passionate sex
  • Sebastian loving to take showers with you so he can wash your hair
  • Taking pictures of you but never posting them because he doesn’t like to share the cute and simple moments he lives with you
  • Defending you whenever someone says shit about you and/or the age gap between you two
  • Him taking you to meet Romania and the whole Europe on your birthday
  • Nose kisses
  • Long bear hugs before he has to leave/when he arrives
  • Him showering you with small but cute gifts
  • Talking about movies and cartoons from when he was just a kid
  • “Okay, that’s too old, Seb”
  • Tickling fights
  • Basically him always taking care of you because you’re the most amazing thing that ever happened to him

Ok but Thor’s kid would have such unyielding, raw power though like some dudebro could go “haha your dad lesbian” and the kid would just fucking obliterate the guy like. “binch. BINCH. My dad is the mcfuckin GOD of lesbians you ain’t shit” And just watch in sadistic satisfaction as the guy’s retinas melt away due to an unexplained but very strategically placed bolt of lightning

Y'all weak fools still saying “no u” while that kid is on a whole ass other level