- you wrote an article and I didn’t agree with it so I wrote one in response. But then you wrote one in response to my response. So I wrote another one. And now we’ve both been invited to a conference to have a debate and oh no, you actually are as good looking as the photo on your university profile
- I’m new to the university and you’re this fabled lecturer in a different faculty who does weird stuff (like never wear shoes) and I’ve been trying to just SEE you to find out if my students have been lying and I get too excited when I see you
- We met at a conference when I have a standing ovation to your presentation when everyone else just politely clapped
- We’re enemies for funding in the department
- You’re in the chemical engineering faculty and I’m the in the school of historical and philosophical inquiry. We only met when you tried to take the last donut at the pop up donut shop on campus
When writing the dialog for a southern born character in fan fiction
there will never ever be a “you all” (we say “y'all” which used for referring to < 3 living things, “y'alls or all y'all is used to refer to >3).
We don’t ever use the words "pop” or “soda” its a coke. it doesn’t matter what kind of carbonated beverage it is we call it coke. If you order a coke in a restaurant waiters will ask you what kind.
if you say “bless your heart” before calling someone the worst thing you can think of it is ok they won’t get mad. example “bless your heart, you hit every branch on the way down when you fell out of the ugly tree.”
last thing we don’t pronounce the “G” at the end of a present or future tense verb. example “swimming” “swimmin’"
Advice: If you’re not in the right mood, do not read 15 chapter or more fanfics, let me tell you why. Of course they aren’t 15 fucking chapters of your otp doing cute things and fucking each other, obviously not. There will be angst. Arguing. Probably someone is going to die in the cruelest way possible. So, be careful. I warned you.