mckirk edits


Oh good. You have your coffee already.
Yeah? What of it? And what the hell are doing here?
I thought I kicked you out of here yesterday?
You did. You did. And you just seem like the kind of guy
who takes news better after he’s had his morning coffee.

You ever heard of getting to the point?
How about we step into your office, Bones?
Hey! It’s my office. You don’t get to invite us in…
So come on—let’s go—talk—in my office…

                     Dammit Jim. Get your feet off my desk.
                     So detective, you know how I am allegedly really
                     handy with computers?

                     Allegedly my ass…
                     Well I might have hypothetically hacked your email.
                     I mean it wasn’t hard with a password like that

                    Jim you’ve got five seconds before I ‘hypothetically’
                     shove my foot up your–
                    AS I WAS SAYING. Getting to the point like you said.

I know you actually want my help you are just
too stubborn to admit it. Am I close?

 ….Five. Four. Three.
I will take that as a ‘yes’. Good because
I sent your captain, posing as you of course,
an email request for your new CI.

Jim. I don’t have a new CI.
See that’s where you’re wrong.
You’re looking at him.

Oh, really?

                    He fell for this? Pike actually believed it was me?
                    I made sure not to use any big words in the email.
                   Remember what I said about my foot?
                   Easy, easy I am just kidding, Bones.
                   —Hey where are you going?

                  To go ask Pike if he wants to go to a ballgame with me—
                  where do you think I’m going? Going to tell him you hacked
                  my computer and that I didn’t request a damn thing.
                  Okay and while you do that I will go tell everyone your password is–
                  Alright! Alright. Fine but you do what I say and no funny business.
                  You know I was half-kidding. I didn’t think that would work.
                  You’re getting awfully embarrassed over a name.

                  Maybe I am just private, you ever think of that?
                 What I think is that this is definitely a topic to revisit another day.

AU McKirk: The Detective & Repeat Offender 2/?