mcbullshit

paladins + tech hcs
  • shiro says he doesn’t mind, but he’s an apple guy at heart
    • don’t tell anyone but he just thinks his new, shiny, silver arm looks pretty dang great next to his shiny macbook and his space grey iphone. it’s for the aesthetic, lads
    • (space instagram goes crazy for it)
  • his iphone has a word password he doesn’t tell ANYONE and it’s always capitalised or has a number somewhere. he doesn’t even use touch id in case someone tries to force him into unlocking it. he values his privacy!
    • (by that, he means he values people not seeing his awkward ‘flirting’ with matt over text. most of it is star wars references.)
    • when he was at the garrison, keith tries to unlock shiro’s phone while he’s sleeping by pressing his thumb to the home button. it doesn’t work with any finger. when keith looks at shiro, he’s not even sleeping and looking at him with the biggest shit-eating grin
  • pidge can use any laptop immediately but is a windows supremacist. she appreciates the aesthetic from apple and everything but you can’t play ANY good pc games on mac so
  • lance: hey my mac is acting weird. can you help me pidge?
  • pidge: maybe you should have fucking thought twice about buying a macbook huh lance
    • screams when her faithful dell laptop lags and and lance’s macbook is still going strong
    • (also shushes her laptop when the fan whirrs. “don’t admit defeat now chad”)
  • lance shops exclusively at apple. probably has the rose gold 6s
    • “hey lance the leaked iphone 8 has no home button” “what the fuck”
    • “lance the leaks say that it doesn’t have touch id either??” “what the FUCK”
  • allergic to xperias. samsungs are okay, but they’re on thin ice. lance genuinely thinks he will Die if he ever lays his eyes on a windows phone bc the shock will kill him
  • “are you really poc if you don’t have whatsapp” -lance mcclain 2017
  • hunk doesn’t…. mind? and unlike shiro he truly means it. he doesn’t see or get the difference- considering processors, ram, and everything, there’s not too big of a gap. 
  • if he had to pick, he’d pick hp but only because that’s the only one he really knows/has ever owned
  • probably has a big samsung phone. his hands are Large and it’s hard for him to use little screens.
  • hunk knows he says he doesn’t mind, but he also can’t use macs.
    • is That Guy who curses under his breath when he realises the command/control button is placed differently on macs
  • keith has a fucking nokia
  • still thinks sony ericsson/walkman flip phones are on the market and are also The Best. he idolises the red ones. hunk has to break the news gently
  • when he finally gets a smartphone, it’s an 2015 sony android he got second hand. keith loves it and lance nearly has a stroke when he sees it
    • lance, mortified: what is that. what is that. keith, what is t
    • keith: it was red! :(
  • lance takes EVERY opportunity to get rid of it. he swears it’s cursed because it always finds it’s way back to keith. always.
    • he first just tries to break it and make it look like an accident, but he forgets xperias are virtually indestructible
    • lance later flushes it down the toilet, but it clogs the pipes and coran has to fish it out. 
    • keith: hey, thank god that it’s waterproof, huh?
    • lance, clutching his still-not-waterproof iphone in pure rage: :) yeah how lucky
    • the next time they’re on an friendly alien planet, lance yeets that shit out the closest window just as they’re about to leave. one of the friendly aliens thought it was an accident and brings it back to them just before they launch. keith is thankful. lance is This Close to just dying
    • he takes the battery out so it’s useless and keith has to trash it, and throws that down a random vent. pidge brings it back
  • keith also thinks alienware/gamer laptops look cool
  • lance introduces allura to the rose gold iphone and allura has actually never Shut Up about it since
  • (on that note, coran thinks the gold iphone is great but settles for his altean tech. he likes the idea of ipods and really likes earth music too!!)
    • allura: you earthlings are so slow with technology! this ‘phone’ is blocky, heavy and
    • lance: i can just take it back, then..?
    • allura: you will have to pry this shiny, pink, archaic little device from my cold dead hands. just fucking try me lance

anonymous asked:

LISTEN, JACKSON IS SO THE KIND TO SEE THAT STILES IS SAD AND JUST LIKE AGGRESSIVELY CUDDLE HIM WHILE SAYING 'who made you sad, you lil dipshit, I am the ONLY one allowed to make you sad/angry waas it mccall, cause he's about to mceat all the mcbullshit he's mcsaying'

#Jackson Whittemore as Stiles’ new BFF 2k16

Compilation of sucks from the world of real estate

Ok so, back before I found my true calling in the magical land of foodservice (previous posts are the one w/the dude that wanted me to whip up some bearnaise sauce, and the asshole manager who talked shit abt me behind my back because I needed help lifting heavy things after surgery) I was a receptionist for a pretty big real estate firm. That job pretty much convinced me that dealing with customers one-on-one is prooooobably not the thing I am best suited for. Welp, this got long, sorry not sorry. lol. (Question: when someone posts a tl;dr does anyone actually scroll to the end to get to the tl;dr? I don’t usually bother with that but I’ll start adding them to my posts if anyone requests it. But then knowing me the tl;dr would be almost as long as the post itself. 💁)

I’ll start with a general pet peeve:

[Phone rings]

Me 😺: Standard Greeting

Dumbass Asshole 💩: Can you tell me how much that house is?

😿: [dying inside because this happened way too often] Well, I don’t actually have any information on any of our listings, you have to speak to the realtor.

💩: But I don’t want to talk to a realtor. Can’t you just tell me?

😿: I’m sorry. You have to speak to the realtor to get specifics, I honestly can’t help you otherwise.

[They either hang up or agree to talk to the realtor]

😿: Okay, do you know the name of the realtor or the address of the house?

💩: No…it was on Fuck Me Street though.

😿: [checks the 20 page printout of listings that may or may not be up to date. dies a little more inside] Ma'am, I’m sorry but we have no listings on that street. Are you sure you don’t remember at least the realtor’s first or last name?

💩: No. It was across the street from Fuckity McBullshit Conglomeration. Can’t you just tell me?

😿: I’m sorry, are you sure that’s the right street? Is there anyway you can go back and get the agent’s name and cell phone number off the sign?

💩: [gets pissed off at me because they can’t remember shit/didn’t feel the need to stop and get basic info off the For Sale sign]

😿: fml

(This was before the days of zillow and realtor.com, we didn’t even have computers at the switchboard. Fuck I’m gettin’ old).

Then we had people calling the front desk and getting pissed off at me because their realtor won’t answer their cell or return voicemails. The fuck am I supposed to do about it, send them a psychic wave or some shit? We had one realtor in our satellite office–actually, he was the broker for that location–who was notoriously impossible to get in touch with. I was not certain he even actually existed. He certainly never returned any of the voicemails I left him that Sharon Fuckface has been trying to call him for two days.

Then this one time I was temping in their rental office on the weekends. Basically all I had to do was sign out keys for people so they could view properties. I think we had a limit of three keys at a time? And you had to leave a $20 deposit and we had to make a copy of your driver’s licence. Most folks were fine with this, but one lady just did not want to deal. She did not get why she had to go through all that just to look at some houses and I’m like??? I do not make company policy??? And it is not??? Actually a big deal??? And then sometimes people would want to know if any of the properties had hardwood floors or other specific info. Bruh there are 300 properties listed and I have stepped foot in none of them lmao.

OH! Yeah this one time a dude called and he wasn’t even a renter with us, he wanted to complain that his across-the-street neighbor (who did rent with us) was in violation of his lease because he had put a trailer on the property and it was an eyesore! Now me, I am legit from the trailorhood so I’m thinking ol’ dude must have parked some jank old Winnebago or even a full on singlewide in the yard. But it was actually just one of those trailers you hitch to the back of a pick up. Please get over yourself old guy.

Ugh, this one is the actual worst though. So our main broker also had a bunch of rental properties, and his renters would give their check/m.o. to me, I wrote them a receipt and put the money in our safe, and called the broker and told him that So-and-So paid their rent.

Well, one day he comes up to me asking if this one person had paid their rent. I said I didn’t think so, and checked the safe and the receipt book. Nope. Not there. He then tells me that this person is swearing that she gave me a money order for her rent, but that I lost or stole it.

Uh? All I could tell him was that I hadn’t seen any of his renters that particular day, and that I always write receipts and put rent money in the safe immediately upon receiving it, and then call him/leave a message. He then said something like he didn’t think she would lie, I don’t remember exactly, but I was pretty freaked out over it.

Like okay, real talk, we’ve all probably been there, right? Wages don’t match inflation. But how are you going to accuse some stranger who’s also just trying to get by of stealing your rent? Instead of just being straight up and admitting you’re struggling to your landlord? smdh. That’s one reason I can’t be a server or cashier, I don’t wanna fuck with nobody’s money but mine, so no one can come at me/my boss crying that I shorted them, or that my register is short. I have enough anxiety, thanks 👍

anonymous asked:

I just want the drugs again. It's been a while, but I only ever did it to run away. It was never for fun and it was always by myself. I try not to go into it when I mention it to other people, because I know if I end up Back On My McBullshit, they won't know. Everyone thinks I'm naturally high energy, but the truth is I'm anxious all the time and use things to either help allivate or exacerbate it, whether it be coffee or dilaudid. It's hard to be around me, and I'm sorry. I just want it to end.

Go on/off anon and pretend we’re the person you want to talk to, and get everything off your chest