mblaq:s

To: Santiago (pendejo)

Yep it’s your ex somewhat lover person, su casi amante. Look, I genuinely hope you’re happy, for real, even if it’s with a new girl you get to explore all over again. Hell, if you’ve got yourself two girls and you’re happy then good for you, it just stings to think about anyone other than me touching you. I hope my hands will always be your favourite. Sometimes this longing for you takes over me and suddenly I’m drinking down a bottle of whiskey just to fill the spot inside my chest that’s still reserved for you. I truly want you to be happy Santi, but sometimes I have this selfish hope that you feel sad over missing me. Okay, I’m too good of a person to say sad, I don’t want that for you, despite how sad you could make my heart. But could you at least miss me, remember me? I was really hung up on you, hung up on everything about you from the cliches like your smile and eyes to the random things like your cute snoring and funny feet. I was hung up on us, and metaphorically, after our “phone call” became less interesting, you hung up on me. Metaphorically, I’ve been staring at this phone but I never have the courage to call you back. Maybe one day.

I’m not sure if things would have turned out differently had you known about my feelings for you. It was against the rules of what we got ourselves into and my pride would never let me stoop so low. You know me.

My intuition has always known that you felt something for me, at some point, but that’s not the point, point is you’re gone now and I need to move on.

Yeah, I miss you buddy. 

From: Hayley (but you used to call me “something else”) 

F you idiot.

Dear F,

    I hate you, I hate you for making me feel like this, especially when I know it’s not the same for you.

I know you care about me but it’s not the same, it’s not like how I care for you. 

And this distance is killing me, two weeks until I can be with you, it seems exponentially long. 

You keep coming back for me and whilst I live for seeing you I’m oh so aware that one day you’ll stop. You’ve told me this isn’t forever but how can it not be?

How can you introduce me to your family but want nothing more from me than my body? 

Why do you ring me when you’re drunk? Text me all hours? Tell me you miss me? 

You’re making it hard for me to accept we’re not together. 

My family want to know who I’m seeing, I’ve tried to deny it but the haven’t seen me smile so much in a while. 

And behind all of this I know I can make you happy, so why won’t you let me? 

Why all the secrecy when you hold my hand in public anyway?

Why tell me you want me when you’ve told me I can’t have you?!

I’m so worried I’m in love with you. 

Please tell me one way or another because with every text and every minute I’m falling deeper and soon you’ll ruin me.

Always yours,

S