I DARE you to try and look away.

Can’t do it, can ya?

  • Me: "Sam is supposed to be the little brother."
  • Brother: "Haha 'little'... They're only four years apart-"
  • Brother: *freezes.*
  • Brother: *looks at me*
  • Brother:
  • Brother: "-and I'm taller than you! We're Sam and Dean."
  • Me: "We are not Sam and Dean-"
  • Brother: "We're Sam and Dean."
  • Me: *rolls eyes* "We are NOT Sa-"
  • Brother: *leaning in, hissing crazily,* "We. Are. Sam. And. Dean!"
So I've gotten a few requests from you guys asking for my story- how I became so successful in my field.

I’d like to be able to tell you that I knew right away as a kid what I wanted to do…

But the truth is I never gave it much thought. It just kind of happened. I mean sure, I had a few ideas on how to get things going, but I never really felt like I was “following a specific plan.” One day I looked up from my game of bejeweled blitz and it just sort of hit me; I made it. I was twenty years old and I was still not really doing anything. And I haven’t really been doing much ever since. So there you go- that’s the story of how I became a professional procrastinator.

Ok you and I both know I can’t cook why you gonna be like “here make grilled cheese” and then leave me alone in the kitchen and then come back all surprised like

  • “what are you doing”
  • “why is there butter all over this spatula”
  • “why is there only one slice of bread in the pan”
  • “did you butter both sides”
  • “where’s the cheese”

#I told you up front I can’t cook. #therefore this is all your fault