mazel tov dummies

I want someone who will be monogamous, and nice to his mother. And I want someone who likes musicals, but knows to just shut his mouth when I’m watching Lost. And I want someone who thinks being really into cars is lame, and strip clubs are gross. I want someone who will actually empty the dishwasher instead of just taking out forks as needed, like I do. I want someone with clean hands and feet,and beefy forearms, like a damn Disney prince. And I want him to genuinely like me, even when I’m old. And that’s what I want.
—  Liz Lemon