mayor jay

2

March 31, 2017

Jay Z updates his Twitter.

“Kalief was a prophet….I believe our prophets come in many shapes or forms. Sometimes our prophets come in the form of young undeveloped energy that will teach all us grownups how to love better and have more compassion.” - Shawn “Jay Z” Carter from TIME: The Kalief Browder Story.

The Ninja Talking to the Mayor of Ninjago City

Jay: Excuse me sir, but I think it is time you start paying us.

Mayor: What do you mean?

Kai: We do a lot of hard work saving Ninjago.

Mayor: Yes but you only save it when it is in peril, I can’t pay you regularly for something that happens so rarely…

Nya: Uh Ninjago is in trouble like every week Mr. Mayor…

Mayor: Nervously sweating

PRESS ANNOUNCEMENT—

This is an official announcement to the citizens of Atlanta. Given the recent events (for more information click here) in Midtown involving a fire that has affected many, we are standing up here today to inform you all of the events that have taken place and the actions that are being supplemented to put a stop to it all. Due to our impressive police force, brave fire department and talented medical workers on and off site, we were able to save all those affected by the fire. We are pleased to inform you all that there were no fatalities and those injuries are expected to make a speedy and full recovery. The property damaged will remain closed off while our team of experts is working on repairs. 

Over the past week, our police and fire department have been working on finding the source of the fire. From what we are aware of, the fire did not derive from the sinkhole on 5th street but is considered to be arson. The person behind this heinous crime currently remains at large, but professionals will be working to the best of their ability to make sure that justice is served. If you or anyone you know was involved or is aware of someone involved, we ask that you speak to a law enforcer immediately. Atlanta Police Department will be doing whatever it takes to keep our city safe. 

We would also like to issue a public apology to those affected and the families of those involved. And we ask that everyone be safe and report any suspicious behavior you may witness. A crime like this will not go unjustified. Together, we will find who is behind the several crimes we have come face to face with over the past two months and promise you that Atlanta will continue to stay a safe and well-kept city as it always has been.