maybe this isn't the right time to post this

There’s a difference between disagreeing with someone, and dismissing someone – between saying you’re wrong and saying you are not capable of being right.

You can disagree – emphatically, even! – on minor matters of opinion, or on subjective questions of taste etc., without invalidating the other person’s right to have their own perspective.

For instance, if you like a certain book, and someone else doesn’t, disagreement might sound like, “But this and this are in the book! It’s brilliant in the way it does this! This element really spoke to me!”

Dismissal might sound like, “You just look for things to dislike. It’s because you spend so much time with those snobby friends of yours.”

One of these is a respectful expression of disagreement about a book. It opens up a conversation where it’s possible for everyone to talk about what they did or didn’t like about it. It might be possible to come away from this conversation with a better understanding of each other or even the book itself.

The other is a dismissal of the other person’s right to even have an opinion. It shuts down the original conversation about the book and opens an attack on the other person’s entire worldview. You’re no longer saying they’re wrong about a book, you’re saying that they don’t have any real thoughts or opinions of their own, that something about them (in this case, the “snobby friends” they like to spend time with) completely invalidates anything they might ever think or feel or believe. You’re telling them they have no right to any opinion at all.

There’s a difference between shutting someone down like this and respectfully pointing out reasons you might have noticed something they didn’t. There’s also a time and a place for intentionally shutting down a conversation. But know the difference, and be aware of what you’re doing.

This dynamic is very easy to accidentally slip into, especially if there’s an existing environment of dismissal.  I’ve noticed this dynamic is incredibly common in the way families treat their members who are developmentally disabled or mentally ill, or otherwise different to everyone else. It’s also common in social groups where one member has a vulnerable or marginalized identity the others don’t share. Instead of just disagreeing about small things, the automatic response to that person becomes condescension and dismissal. 

When this kind of dismissal becomes a habit, it fosters an extremely unsupportive environment where someone may not feel able to talk about things that are important to them, things that are hurting or scaring them, or things they need. And it encourages other people to cement their disrespect of the target and take them less seriously in an increasing variety of contexts.

It’s an incredibly effective tool for isolating someone, making them feel as though they have no right to be heard, and in its most extreme form, gaslighting them about their own experiences or stripping them of their right to make choices. 

Pay attention to how you behave when you think someone you care about is wrong. Your response can affect them more than you may realize.

little-babybat  asked:

Do you know of any gordos I can get to from just the basic area and the moss forest? I need more slime keys but I'm lost >_>

Okay! There are three slime keys in the basic area, The Reef, and two in the Moss Blanket.

Firstly is the pink gordo from the very beginning:

Then there’s a phosphor gordo hiding in a tunnel:

And lastly for the Reef, there’s a pink gordo on ring island:

And the two locations of the gordos in the Moss Blanket:

the struggle that is acrylic painting

on ikea cardboard because yay recycling

anonymous asked:

Sorry but I don't think that Cait would post a photo with the insinuation she was on bed with Sam, Tony or any other man to promote a campaign that fights against a horrible desease on children. For me was a picture she already had on her phone of the time she went to Ghana, of her fist and maybe some boy's hand at a hospital. The left hand on the photo isn't big enough to be an adult man's hand.

Errybody step right up and throw your theory into the hat!!! I’m not a photo analyst, myself. The hands are angled so you can see the least bit of identifying information as possible. If your theory makes you happy, have fun with it. I’m sure she took the pic on her phone at home, in real time with her left hand, of her right hand and a friend’s hand. I don’t have the patience or desire to analyze it further but at a cursory glance I’ve formed an opinion that I’ll never be able to verify and neither will you or anyone else be able to verify their own theories.

To Make It Right(Part 2 of “Time of His Life”)

A/N: Hey everyone, I finally posted the second part of “Time of His Life”. I really put my heart into this because I only want the best for you guys. Hopefully, you love it, even though it’s late. The link for “Time of His Life” is below. Enjoy. 

Keep reading

anyways you can’t tell me that before athos walked over and saw annamis in bed and his life flash before his eyes, one of the nuns didn’t go to check in on aramis and then anne, maybe tell them what’s available for breakfast, and see them in bed. Said nun then proceeding to stifle a gasp, cross herself, and make a beeline to mother superior

“mother superior, i wish to take a vow of silence”

-”right now, sister? why?”

“i-i-i saw…i had…A Vision”

anonymous asked:

2 Hours ago Sam replied to WS's Barbour tweet "enjoy my friend" and just now he tweeted again "enjoy buddy" to the same post. Clearly someone on Sam's behalf tweeted one and Sam tweeted the other. I don't think the same person would reply twice. Not important but it does add to the on-going Twitter battle of what's really Sam v what's not..hopefully making it easier for some to cut him some slack. Maybe hope that his interactions w/ that man clearly isn't even him 100% of the time.

I am more and more convinced that someone has part time access to Sam’s SM.  They just can’t get his voice right.

anonymous asked:

Margot Robbie has a bf and lives in London. Wonder if Sam met her at Wimbledon? I think he and Cait were both there. She jumped too fast to deflect after it was implied Sam was there. Isn't Andrew in a play in London right now too? Bet they saw him.

Maybe! He followed her right around the time the game ended I believe? So it’s entirely possible. And yep I think both him and Cait were there too. I find it so incredibly suspicious that super private Cait who almost never reveals where she is, is suddenly hitting us over the head with the fact that she’s in London. Like might as well shout it from the rooftops, Cait. And then posting pictures each day of Wimbledon but today, after Andrew Gower tells Sam to enjoy tennis, suddenly Cait has to make it known that she’s 100% NOT watching tennis? But IS STILL IN LONDON. 

yeah ok, Caitriona. 

anonymous asked:

I was just about to say that, a anti blog that get's a lot of attention but only get's maybe 9 notes if any on their posts did just deactivated. Right before the 'birth' isn't that interesting? And now the remaning antis are talking about getting bullied and all the hate blah blah lol... like wtf, what do they think Larries have been getting the last 6 years?? And several anti blogs have stopped posting.

Hmm yeah, that’s interesting timing to delete. It reminds me of right before the Elounor breakup, which hopefully means it’s a good sign. Also, there have been a few anti-anti posts in the last few days that I’ve seen, so maybe that’s why they rest of them are whining.