maybe they're all high or something

like this is Lame but i think half the issue is the only thing everyone ever wants to do is get drunk?? and so the only times i see any friends is when we’re drinking, and i miss just hanging out with sober people who aren’t constantly wanting to be anything but sober?

Sarcasticasides’ young Nori and Dwalin at the supermarket, inspired by this post. There’s not actually much room for the groceries.

(For some reason in my head all modern AUs automatically take place in the UK unless stated otherwise so here they are in the biscuit aisle…)

  • Moffat: subtext exists
  • Fans: wait does that mean
  • Moffat: lol what? hmm? what you think that actually MEANS something?
  • Fans: oh well we just thought...
  • Moffat: you're wrong.
  • Fans: oh
  • Moffat: two people who are that close are usually in love.
  • Fans: oh well if you're saying that then maybe
  • Moffat: lol you're idiots.
  • Moffat: sherlock and John are in love...
  • Fans: we th-
  • Moffat: a friendly platonic nonromantic way.
  • Fans: ......ok *sobbing*
  • Moffat [to gatiss]: lol I fucked them up sooOooo much
  • Gatiss: lol cool now lets kill all the characters
  • Moffat: lol high five
  • Okay but imagine this
  • Bilbo is the tattoo artist who owns his own shop that everyone is really confused about because he's this cute little thing that were baggy jumpers that go over his hands to do the sweat paw thing when he's not inking someone and he has these big glasses that he's always fumbling to push up his nose and he's just all around adorable and he's polite and smiles warmly at everyone and he looks like he needs to be in a pile of pillows with a cuppa and a good book next to a roaring fire instead of in the middle of a tattoo parlor with designs that range from disturbing to beautiful why is this small creature here why this isn't right and his workers are like hell just you wait
  • And then he shows up randomly in a new pair of glasses that compliment his face perfectly and a pair of nice, tight trousers and a button up white shirt that has the sleeves rolled up to the elbows revealing his multitude of tattoos and a burgundy vest with elaborate buttons sewn on and everyone is like holy shit then Bilbo is talking with someone and having a civil chat and someone says a slur of some sort and instantly any sign of warmth just disappears from his face and he very calmly asks them to leave and the person is like why because I said [insert slur here] and then suddenly tiny cuddly Bilbo is an imposing force and should be ten feet tall to just complete how terrifying he is when he wants to be and he's suddenly very heatedly describing how slurs are incredibly rude and highly inappropriate in any situation and how to merely casually insert them into a conversation is disgusting and you should be ashamed of yourself for this behavior, your mother would be feeding you bars of soap for a week should she have heard that, get out of my shop and good day to you, and everyone watching is just like O.O because Bilbo has never even spoken in an unkind tone before even when he had really difficult customers and they're all just so shocked and his workers are behind the counter laughing their asses off
  • Now insert Thorin, high-and-mighty businessman who has a soft spot for his two nephews and takes care of them constantly and is always there when they need him and who tries to be stern with them but really can't deny them a single thing. He's got boisterous Kili at one elbow (sixteen maybe) who's chattering on and on about something from school and Fili (nine? twenty?) who's very calm and collected and listening to his brother fondly and interjecting every now and then and they're both making Thorin just feel so proud and they walk into Bilbo's shop because after six months of Kili pestering Thorin about a tattoo and showing him the design he'd created a year prior and begging and pleading for weeks, months on end he's finally convinced him yes, he really wants it, please uncle, I'll get it on my upper arm so I only show it off when I want to, please, I'll make sure mum doesn't yell at you, and finally he concedes because he can't get mad at them and he talked Dís into letting him get it easy enough
  • So he gets a recommendation from Dwalin who has an impressive number of tattoos scattered across his body which adds to his intimidation and makes lots of people comply out of fear of what could happen if they don't and he points them in Bilbo's direction so they go on a rainy Saturday since no ones seems arsed to get out besides them
  • Bilbo's shop is buzzing with life as usual, filled with the misfit kids he'd taken upon himself to watch over. So basically he's got merry and pippin and frodo and Sam all working around his shop doing random jobs like sweeping and wiping down the counter because Bilbo insists that they keep themselves busy and that they don't do bad things and in exchange for work instead of being paid they earn 'credits' Bilbo logs and when you get a certain amount Bilbo will give you a tattoo free but he insists they get the slip signed every time regardless since they're still young. He'd pay them but he's already got Tauriel working as his extra artist and they're looking for a person to work the register and help people find the design they want cause Bilbo is busy tattooing and sketching out custom designs and Tauriel never leaves her workroom unless it's a break for her or Bilbo insists she get out for once
  • So the shop is all bright and colorful and filled with designs, some generic and some unique, and Bilbo is dressed in the vest outfit and sitting on the counter in the criss cross applesauce position (how the fuck do you describe that position anymore without using the preschool shorthand someone tell me) and he's beaming down at his 'kids' as they sit on the floor in front of him, all of them laughing as frodo tries to braid tauriel's hair and merry and pippin and sharing a snack and Sam is sketching in his book a gorgeous flower tattoo for his next one but still joining in on the conversation. In walks Thorin and Fili and Kili and everyone turns to look at them and Bilbo is instantly up and smiling warmly, welcoming them in and telling them they can hang up their raincoats, no need for those in here. And Kili is stunned into silence because of Tauriel and Tauriel is blushing a brighter color than her hair because what is this who is this boy who is shorter than her and watching her as if she is the sun and the moon and the stars encompassed in one body that wasn't right he shouldn't be staring stop it stooooop and Fili is looking over the sign for help Bilbo had put up and the boys on the floor don't pay much attention to the newcomers and then there's Thorin and Bilbo and Bilbo is trying to straighten his clothes because oh gods oh gods he's cute and Thorin is watching Bilbo fiddle with his clothes and glances at his tattoos cause oh goodness no one should be that attractive
  • A bunch of stuttered explanations and accidental flirting later and Kili is set up with Tauriel in her room and he's getting his tattoo and Fili is being helped by the boys with his resume and interview and Thorin and Bilbo are chattering away about nothing and then Centuries by Fall Out Boy comes on so the boys perk up and frodo dashes to the sound system without missing a beat and turns it up with a cry of "Bilbo, it's your song!" and Bilbo is laughing and the boys start getting up and dancing to the loud music (Fili included after a bit of arguing) and Bilbo doesn't realize it but he's singing along and then Thorin who knows the song because Kili is constantly playing this album over and over is singing too and they're just grinning while shouting along with the lyrics and they don't take their eyes off of each other and they're completely in sync when the chorus comes on and just "Some legends are told, some turn to dust, some to gold, but you'll remember me... Remember me, for centuries. And just one mistake is all that it takes, we'll go down in history... Remember me, for centuries."
  • Flash forward a few years to their wedding, Thorin's skin a bit more colorful after a few trips to Bilbo, Bilbo's shop more popular that ever with the influx of businessmen that Thorin happens to find and send his way (really, he didn't think so many people hid so many tattoos under those huge suits) and they're grinning and frodo, merry, pippin, Fili, Kili, and Tauriel (the last two unashamedly holding hands and pressed as close together as they can manage) are getting up to make a speech and Bilbo is curious but then they're all speaking in snippits, telling them that they all had ideas as to what sort of speech they could come up with and then they realized they really shouldn't say anything at all, there's something that could say everything they needed for them, and now Bilbo is absolutely intrigued and so is Thorin and everyone else and then they step offstage and Centuries starts playing and Bilbo and Thorin are laughing and grinning and going to hug the troublesome kids close and everyone is singing and some people are really confused but those nine and a few select others know what's going on and they're just so entirely happy and once the song is over Kili just goes "I'm so glad uncle let me get that tattoo"
Wicked: The Untold Story of the Sentence Starters of Tumblr
  • "Oh, that's alright. I have no friends."
  • "Well, if THAT'S love, it comes at much too high a cost!"
  • "See that tragically beautiful girl?"
  • "Don't wish, don't start."
  • "What?! What are you looking at? Oh, do I have something in my teeth?"
  • "Well, what could he have gotten me? I clash with everything."
  • "Life's more painless for the brainless."
  • "I'm through with playing by the rules of someone else's game!"
  • "Was I really seeking good...or just seeking attention?"
  • "Everyone deserves the chance to fly."
  • "Well, we can't all come and go by BUBBLE!"
  • "After all, they're just shoes ..... let it go."
  • "Maybe the driver saw green and thought it meant GO!"
  • "You really don't need to do that..."
  • "Are people born wicked, or do they have wickedness thrust upon them?"
  • "You'll be with me like a handprint on my heart."
  • “You shouldn’t let ignorant statements like that bother you. I mean, I always do, but you shouldn't.”
  • “I want to remember this moment. Always. Nobody’s staring. Nobody’s pointing. For the first time, I’m somewhere…where I belong.”
  • "I'm not that girl."
  • "There are bridges you cross you didn’t know you crossed until you’ve crossed them."
  • "Nothing matters but knowing nothing matters!"
  • "What kind of person steals a dead woman's shoes?"
  • "It's good to see me, isn't it?"
  • "You know, I've been thinking---"
  • "I'm beautifully tragic."
  • "As you can see, she is a perfectly normal color."
  • "But I know I'm who I am today because I knew you."
  • "For the first time, I feel...wicked."

blue-and-gold-things  asked:

Hi, Cassie! So, I have a few questions about a new warlock who has suddenly become my favorite character, (well, they're all my favorite characters---but this one in particular): Malcolm Fade! So, two questions: will he play a central / important role in TDA, (since he is the High Warlock of LA)? And, two: since something terrible happened to him at the turn of the 20th century, will he be in TLH, (and will said terrible thing happen to him then)? Thanks!

You are very smart. Malcolm isn’t just a TDA character, he’s a TLH character as well. (In fact TLH gives me a chance to do Warlock Reunion, with Magnus, Ragnor, Caterina, and Malcolm together. Maybe they will form a band!)

  • nicky: ok guys i need jokes for the team snapchat
  • neil: um ok, so wymack is old, right? And he's wearing a green shirt. So, like, maybe there's something there, where, like, he went to school with his high school buddies that were dinosaurs. And his shirt is green. They're green... [laughs]
  • nicky: oh neil, you're too beautiful to be funny. It's not your fault. you've never had to compensate for anything.