Does it make sense that I've never felt romantic or sexual attraction but I feel like gender wouldn't matter? I don't want to label myself as pan though. Am I being a bigot for not wanting to date one specific gender? I want to use an aroace-spec identity but everyone forces us to use the other orientations. I just want to label myself as ace or demi and that being explanation enough.
oh i feel exactly the same way as you do anon!! i think there’s so many different forms of love and attraction and you can love a person in a way that maybe can’t be labeled and thus can’t label yourself and we lose sight of that when we infight over validity! i feel like what you’re describing is my own perfect queer endgame and for this amorphous unnameable thing whatever you want to describe it as - demi, aro, ace, whatever - is just as good as whatever someone else wants you to call it cause it’s going to escape a single label anyway! sorry i went off but i think in feelings like these lie the beauty of queer rebellion because they make us somewhat unknowable and a thing that can’t be owned or pandered to really in the way that orientation is meant to be marketable and profitable (the use of marriage as tools of alliances, holding children up as the reason people of the “opposite” (and only the “opposite”) sex MUST get married and are the purpose of life and relationships) and i think your mysterious feelings and your “imperfect” label are very badass.