maybe i'll just read a book

I love you,” he shouts at her.
“Well I don’t love you.” She fires back.
“Because if I loved you, then I would notice how you tap your foot when you’re nervous. And how you bite your lip when you’re concentrating. And how you always, always, put pepper on first, then salt. If I loved you I would know that you hate dancing, which makes sense because if I loved you I would know that you’re a terrible dancer. I would know that you can’t look in a mirror for too long because you have your fathers eyes, and those eyes remind you of him leaving. I would know that the reason you don’t drink isn’t just because you hate the taste of whiskey. I would know that the ocean was your safe haven, your escape. But I don’t love you.” she ends, her lips trembling. She stares into those green eyes of his, her breath shaking, the words she had just spoken finally hitting her.
“But maybe, maybe I do.
—  An Excerpt From a Book I’ll Never Write #13

“You know, I envy you so much.” she said.

“Why?” he suddenly looked at her face and asked.

“Maybe because you were so good at hiding things. You were so excellent at pulling all the feelings you have inside. That no matter how hard I tried to look for it, there’s nothing else to see. I mean, there’s nothing I can find so easily. Or maybe, you’re not really hiding something away from me.” she said as if her eyes were trying to figure out something.

He smiled sadly as he quietly uttered, “There’s nothing to be envious about.” he stopped for a second and looked at her.

Then, he said, “I wasn’t good at hiding. Honestly, I even showed you everything I can just to make you happy. Yes…it’s actually true. That I am not hiding anything away from you. Maybe…maybe you were just looking for something else.” he looked away from her and finally pulled out his heart and said, “Something that you hadn’t seen and will never see in me.”

—  ma.c.a // You stare at everything but Me
Where did all those feelings go? People spend their whole lives looking for love. Poems and songs and entire novels are written about it. But how can you trust something that can end as suddenly as it begins?
—  Nicola Yoon, The Sun is Also a Star

anonymous asked:

Yo I know you are drawing game characters, but what do you think of Mermaid Yellow. I am crying because I imagined her. Just wanted to share the experience have a good day bye

I think she’d be a cutie

I wanted to grab my phone and call him.” she stared at the photo she’s been holding for hours. She’s talking to her best friend, telling her about all the things she had been feeling these past few days. It had been a silent week for her. A week of gloomy days and drizzles from the grayish skies. A week of starless night and moonless sleep. A week of feelings she can’t truly describe.“ I don’t know the exact reason why I’m saying this to you. But I really wanted to talk to him. I need to hear his voice. I need to know that he’s doing fine. I need him to tell me that everything is going to be all right. I don’t know but now I feel that maybe, I need to hear it directly from him. Maybe he should tell me that he’s not coming back. That he’s going to avoid me forever even if we happen to cross each other’s path again in the future. Maybe he should tell me that everything is going to change and I can’t do anything about it. That I can’t make the impossible things happen, the way I wanted them to. I know he said it already, but maybe I need to hear it again and again, until it knocked me back to my senses. Until I believed that it was real. Until I believed that it was not just the scariest nightmare I’ve been through. Maybe someone needs to remind me that I need to finally loosen my grip to this photograph of him. That he’s no longer happy to be with me. That I need to finally let him go. For real.
—  ma.c.a // Tell me, You’re no longer mine
youtube.com
Overwatch News - The Art of Overwatch Announced + Artist Appreciation!
Overwatch's Anniversary date draws ever nearer, and while we wait for news of the Overwatch Anniversary Event, Overwatch art fans rejoice - The Art of Overwa...

You want to know something WILD?!

I got a shout-out (along with some amazing and pretty high-profile/fandom fav artists like @nesskain and @dashiana) in @hammeh‘s most recent video!

 If you weren’t aware, this guy does amazing things for the Overwatch fandom as the de-facto king of lore, with his in-depth videos and speculations. I support him on Patreon and the amount of content, at the quality he’s able to produce it at is well worth it. 

What an honour, and a treat to be named as an artist to look out for! I’ll do my best to get better and better, so I can feel worthy of being in the same video as these folks! 

<3 

I don’t know what you look like yet. It seems that I don’t know much nowadays. I do know one thing though. I will meet you some day. Maybe you’re blonde with blue eyes, maybe you enjoy late afternoon walks with a quiet complexion to add to the sunset. Maybe you’re into science and believe that faith just means there’s something to look forward to. Maybe you’re into philosophy and the line between male and female is just too damn blurred for you. I’m already intoxicated by you and I have not met you. Maybe you’re super shy and laughing obnoxiously is your way to counter your acute social anxiety. I get it. I do, I do. Maybe you’ve been kissed by the sun for too long and your hair isn’t too long, it’s okay. There’s only more to love. Maybe you’re just like me and your eyes like to chill out, maybe the sun rises just to dip back into your skin. Maybe you’re a drinker, maybe you’re a smoker. I’ll drive you home. I’ll smoke one with you. Maybe you’re drug free and have never smoked. I won’t smoke around you. I might just quit. Maybe you’re an avid book reader with a knack to find the best love quotes– maybe you’re a writer. Poetry and prose likes to slip pills into my drink, don’t worry– I’ll be sober enough to kiss you goodnight. Maybe you’re an artist, Van Gogh didn’t really eat yellow paint and the Mona Lisa is just a reminder that we all need to smile more. Maybe you’re way into science fiction movies, I’ll watch all of the cheesy alien movies with you. Maybe you’ve got a few scars from late nights of self pity and regret– don’t worry, I have those too. Maybe you’re a firm believer that we’re an invasive species and artificial intelligence will end us some day– even if a zombie apocalypse happens, I’ll be sure to leave a poem in your back pocket for safe keeping. Maybe you’re infertile and we’ll never be able to name babies, it’s okay. We’ll adopt. There’s always another option. Cats work too. How about a husky with blue eyes? Maybe you’re religious. I’m not atheist, but there is something out there. Maybe your dad was a drunk and your mother couldn’t cope, maybe you’re not perfect– so what? I’ll accept you. We’ll pull through. It’s okay to have flaws, it just makes us more human than the next. Maybe you’re already in love with someone else, maybe you’re never really going to be mine. Hell, I’d be your best friend. We can talk every now and again. I’ll be fine with that. Maybe you’re into music more than I am, maybe that’s not possible, but if it is– we’re going to get along just fine. As a matter of fact, the more open minded, the more difficult– the more you make me chase after you, the better. Maybe you’re into the same things, maybe you’re my complete opposite. Maybe we’ll never meet until I’m all out of my prime and you’re all out of fire. Maybe we’ll spend a decade in Rome and understand why love has a place anywhere. Maybe you’re lonely too. Maybe midnight walks near downtown city lights are your favorite. Maybe you’re lost. Maybe you’re tired of this fast lifestyle. Maybe we’re both upset about the same thing at this very moment. Maybe you’re finding yourself too. Maybe you’ve been through some pain, maybe you’re drinking it off. You’re probably high right now too. Writing the same poem and dying inside with just the right amount of ow. Maybe you’re not into sex, maybe you’re sexually active. Maybe catching you inside of a bookstore is more likely than finding you in a club. Maybe your favorite element is fire, maybe you’re passionate about everything. That youthful inner flame that just won’t go out. Maybe someone did that to you too. Maybe it never died down. Maybe you’re still burning to find that same feeling with a different person. Maybe forehead kisses are your favorite because he didn’t kiss you enough to make you feel safe. Maybe he was mean to you, or maybe she was. Maybe you’re way out of my league and I’m just bullshitting around to see if I can make you laugh. Maybe you’re reading this right now, if you are then I have something to tell you.
—  I can’t wait to meet you.

somedays are just bad days. somedays, i just break down in tears because i miss you so much and it’s so fucking hard to accept you’re no longer here, in my arms where you rightfully belong. somedays are just bad days. somedays, i just feel numb because i want to feel your lips against mine and that is the only thing i can’t possibly do. somedays are just bad days. somedays, i just crave you holding me tightly, reminding me what its like to be loved. somedays are just bad days. or maybe it’s just all my days. all my days without you are bad days.

day five without you//nikitagupta

You don’t have to be a force of nature to be beautiful or to make a difference in this world. Odds are, you aren’t an ocean or a forest fire or a hurricane.
Your beginnings can be small and your voice can falter, and maybe you aren’t very brave or well spoken, and you might not believe you have anything to offer this world, but I promise, you do.
You can be the one that hums when they work or smiles while they talk or offers to help that passerby on the street, but you’ll never know how the world perceives you. Not really.
So don’t worry about trying to please the masses when you’ve always been more than enough to just a handful of people.
—  if you’re ever feeling small, or unimportant, please read this slowly
I read stories about someone who don’t know me. Someone who hadn’t seen me. Someone who I only considered as imaginary. I sing the lyrics of the band without them hearing me. A group of talented people who haven’t yet listened to my voice. I admire someone’s beauty which I’ve only stared at a random magazine—inside a crowded bookstore. A face with only one expression. A face I’ve never seen fully. And I realized, that it was important how you make a heart dance. How you turn a frown into a smile without forcing it to happen. Because maybe it was one of the best things that we can do. To turn sadness into happiness without meaning to. That maybe in the end, we can try to replace hate with love even if we thought we weren’t capable of doing it. Even if we thought that it was just an impossible truth.
—  ma.c.a // But then I tried

don’t wanna fight no more, ah [x]

(what dorks. m’sort of new to the good omens fan-stuff and sort of spoiled by the casting but i just couldn’t not draw crowley and aziraphale being … crowley and aziraphale)

i. in the morning i kiss your shadow on the wall instead of you. you tasted sweeter but i guess a lot of things about you seem sweeter now that you’re gone

ii. don’t take it personally, but i’m forgetting the sound of your voice. flowers die and so do memories but i don’t want my head to be a graveyard, and if it has to be a graveyard i don’t want you to be a corpse. i was never good at funerals, at closing the casket and laying things to rest.

iii. i asked God for a sign that it’s over but unless it’s in neon and right in front of me i won’t see it because i’m not looking for a sign, i’m looking for your face

iv. this isn’t an attempt at closure, this is just me telling you how it’s barren here without your touch. maybe, if you read this, you’ll turn around and come back. this isn’t a eulogy, but maybe it should be.

- GONE BOY // abby, day 340

1. Stop beating yourself up if you fail at something because that is how you will learn and become a better person.
2. If you’re consistently stressed, negative and unhappy at work, maybe it’s a sign to move on.
3. Control and manage the stress in your life.
4. Eliminate your self-doubt and learn how to trust yourself again.
5. You are capable of doing everything you want, you just lack faith and confidence. Build up on your strengths.
—  E.J. Cenita, 5 Simple Yet Inspiring Things You Need to Read
  • Me: Man, I've started a lot of books and haven't finished them.
  • Me: Maybe it's because I might never actually finish them...
  • Me: Maybe I should donate them?
  • Me: Nah, I think I'll just keep the bookmarks in them and put them back on my shelf.
  • Me: I'll remember exactly what's happening when I do pick them up again.
  • Me: AND I'll finish them eventually.
  • Me: Right?

A gentle reminder

If you’re stressed out and feel as though nothing ever seems to be getting better, then drop everything you’re doing and just breath. Take in a deep, calm breathe, and then another. Drink some water, take a walk, read your favorite book, take a warm bath, eat a healthy snack or maybe the occasional chocolate bar or two. Learn to find time everyday to be yourself; to be happy, because you are worth it.

How can I
follow my heart
when my feet
buckled every time
I feel it breaking,
how can I follow
my mind
when I am always lost
in overthinking.
And maybe
it was just right
to go wherever
my soul is leading me.
—  ma.c.a // Now, They Say Follow Your Soul
It hurts. It hurts so much more than i thought it would. They all told me that love was the best thing that could ever happen to someone, but they forgot to mention that it was also the worst. Maybe i’m getting it wrong, maybe i’m confusing love with heartbreak. Either way, it still hurts. It’s draining me to know that you’ve moved on and found someone better whilst i find it hard to even get up out of bed. I spend most of my days, crying over the idea of what we were, of what we could’ve been. There are days where i forget to eat and take care of myself because i’m too busy reminiscing all the good times, the times where you did love me.
The rare times that i find the energy to shower, I pray that the water hits me hard enough so that every trace of you on my skin is washed off of me and goes down the drain along with all the other dirt.
There’s times where staying inside with all of my thoughts gets too much and all i want to do is leave. I just wish i had somewhere where i could let it all go, somewhere where i could be free. Somewhere i could go to and automatically know everything would be okay, even if it didn’t seem that way. My own special place.
You were my special place, but then you left. You left and you took a piece of me with you. It’s no wonder that i feel as if there’s something missing, that i’m constantly trying to find something or someone to fill that little hole in my life, in my heart. The same little hole which you filled in once upon a time. Maybe that’s why it’s hard to find someone that i trust enough to give it to. Because of you, i’m scared that no matter how much i trust someone, it won’t stop them from going ahead and shattering my heart to pieces, just like it didn’t stop you.
Maybe they’ll finish off the job for you and break it enough so that it’ll be physically impossible for me to ever fix it back together. I guess i’ll just have to get used to being alone if i want to protect my heart, or what’s left of it anyways.