Ten kilometres is a long way to run. Even with good music playing, it’s a really long time to be stuck inside your head. Even as someone who bounces back and forth between being an introvert and extrovert every time she takes a Myers-Briggs test, it’s a loooong time to be stuck thinking about stuff.
Here are some things I thought about on my run today:
Your lungs will tank before your legs. So stop thinking about your legs you, moron
But holy shit my hammies hurt
Wow, this hill is painful on the bum
Oh my god, stop thinking about things that are hurting, we haven’t even run half a kilometre yet.
Ha! Now that we’re up the hill, life is improving. Except you have to do that exact same hill 6 more times. Should we use that hill as the walking break? I wonder how long it would take to walk up it. Probably more than a minute. It shouldn’t be the walking break. But it’s a hill and it hurts my bum so maybe it should be.
Why does this hurt?
Ha! I sound like Darth Vader the way I’m breathing. (I can’t breath in through my nose when I am running. It probably has to do with my deviated septum)
Man, this is going to be boring by lap seven.
Your lungs will tank before your legs.
Why the fuck do my hammies hurt so much? And right in the knee pit, what the fuck?
We should watch the last Harry Potter today after this
Maybe I’d rather soak in an epsom salt bath
I wish we had a hot tub
Ah! Lap two! 5 more to go!
What kind of idiot are you, Jo? This lap, PLUS another five.
No, trick your brain into thinking this lap is already finished! FIVE MORE LAPS!
Your brain isn’t the idiot that chose to take up running. It is going to know that there is really 5.8 laps left.
Why the fuck is this hill so horrible? I know it’s very vertical but seriously?
HILL VICTORY PART 2!!
What the hell are these dudes doing? Why are they looking at me?
When the fuck did my t-shirt ride up to show my pale fish belly? Gross! (tug)
I should learn more math
You’re an idiot. First running, now math?
But if I knew math, I could calculate how many sweet sweet calories I could eat the instant I get in the door because of this run
Or you could have a deficit for the day and maybe lose some more weight, dumbass.
I love this downhilly part! HAHAHAHA! FLYING! Not really, but SHUFFLING MARGINALLY FASTER!
Hello house! Ah! The Girlchild did put my water bottle out, excellent. But I’m not drinking until the end of lap 4. That’s in 2 more laps. Maybe we’ll only do 5km.
Well, one more because I’m not counting the lap I’m running. But by then that’ll be more than 5km, and I can’t stand and uneven number.
I really need that ‘Run like you’re training to be an Avenger’ shirt
Except it should say ‘Run like you’re trying to keep up with the Avengers’
Ha. You know, I bet Clint is the kind of dude who would run at turtle pace just to make me not feel like shit. He wouldn’t say anything about me being slow as fuck, but would just quietly run beside me.
I doubt Tony would even run. Maybe if he was fighting with Steve, just to prove to Steve he was capable.
Steve wouldn’t slow down for me, but every time he lapped me, he’d slap my bum and say good job instead of ‘on your left’. Then he’d apologize later because he’d be worried that I thought he was sexually harassing me.
Natasha would get bored and run ahead with Steve for a while, then slow down a little and wait for me and Clint to catch up. Then she’d get bored of being slow and egg me to go faster, and then tell me to keep going and she’d be back, and she’d take off with Steve for a bit after he lapped me but eventually would come back and start again with the encouragement and stuff.
And the whole time I’m not enhanced, so I’m all excited that I could use my training to get a sweet Captain America medal at Disneyland, and Steve immediately wants to do the run with me, but recognizes that would be unfair because he’s enhanced and can probably run a half marathon in an hour and a 10k in 30 minutes.
Man, I really need that t-shirt now. And maybe I should write a fanfic about this.
I wonder if Peter Quill would run? Hmm. I wonder what I should do for the next Peter Quill fanfic (plot plot plot)
How can this only be the beginning of lap four?
Wow my legs hurt.
Hey! I think I increased my speed running up this hill! Thanks Natasha!
Ugh. Maybe I’ll only do 5 laps. I gotta say though, the hammies don’t hurt anymore. God, I wish those guys would stop whatever they’re doing and go out already instead of standing around in their driveway chatting. Wait, did one of them just cheer at me? He might be the sexiest man alive right now.
Five laps. Five laps. Five Laps. That’s 8km. No one would think I suck if I don’t do all 10km. Most race training thingers say to not do the full race distance until race day. Sure, they’re talking half or full marathons, but that same could be said for a 10k, right?
Man, Daniel Radcliffe has an asston of belly hair for a teen boy.
Eww. Don’t think like that. He’s a baby and he’s short.
But Harry Potter is only six years younger than you. Watch out Ginny!
Five laps, five laps, five laps.
Huh. That wasn’t horrible. You sped up on the uphill again. You really ought to aim for six laps. Those dudes are still chatting. Who chats for an hour and a half while standing in the driveway? Weirdos. Cheering me on dude is no longer sexy. Now he’s a driveway weirdo.
Six laps, six laps. six laps. Oh fuck. Stop and walk for a minute. What’s the worst that could happen? Your pace might be slower. Better than a torn meniscus.
Oh my god, I can’t think of anything worse than a torn meniscus. Fuck. Stop running right now before you tear your meniscus. Just roll the rest of the way home on your side. Why are you still running? Six laps, six laps. Six la– shit, did you just run by the house?
Seven laps. Seven laps. Seven laps. YOU MOTHER FUCKING DID IT! Oh, hey! Water bottle! I forgot all about you. Now to find a banana
No one told me what a mental game running is. Particularly any distance greater than about 3km. I drop into my head and every time something pinches or hurts, I think worst case scenario and start to think I’ll need to quit. I’m glad I pushed through.