maybe i have a thing for politicians

I dunno, Trump was the candidate no one believed could ever garner as much support as he did

Bernie was also the candidate no one believed could garner as much support as he did.

Trump was like the guy you couldn’t in your wildest dreams imagine existing, like you couldn’t believe someone so horrible could actually exist and be popular.

Bernie was like the guy you couldn’t in your wildest dreams imagine existing, like you couldn’t believe someone so honest and so dedicated to values you too have held your entire life.

The man was just.

Christ.

When you’re interested in history and politics, you see a lot of fucked up things.

You read about horrible things we’ve done to one another and are still doing to one another, and all the systems in place dedicated to keeping the same abuses of power in place.

It’s tiring and you just think god why can’t we have a politician who doesn’t play partisan puppet and change their viewpoints according to whatever they think can get them re elected.

Why can’t we have a politician who genuinely cares about people and wants to help his people because he feels its his and the government’s duty to do so?

And then Bernie appeared as a presidential candidate and it was like wow, where have you been my whole life?

I’d never loved any politician more than Bernie.

Well, Elizabeth warren, maybe, but as a person and as a politician, I mean.

I saw Bernie live at a rally once and he was just such a kind person.

He didn’t do things because they would make him look good.

He just had instant connections with people regardless of religion, skin color, anything.

He was what Americans should be.

Honest, dedicated to democracy, and desiring to help other Americans AND non-Americans be the best that they could be.

I mean fuck, I told you, a Muslim student asked him about islamophobia and he hugged her.

Like.

He opened the floor for discussions because he wanted to hear the people speak, goddamnit, the man loves democracy so much that he allowed people at the rally to ask him any question they wanted, and then he answered their questions.

And then when she asked him about discrimination, I mean Bernie is Jewish, he hugged her and everyone in the crowd just fell in love with him.

Even my more cynical conservative friend was shaking his head and smiling and he said, “I…I don’t agree with his policies but he’s so…so nice, shit.”

Like yes.

Yes he is.

Damn, his policies might not have been the strongest, but that’s not the point. A president doesn’t wield power like a dictator, or at least they shouldn’t.

A president speaks to the people and influences their thoughts, influences congress.

Bernie Sanders as president of the United States would’ve been a symbol of change and the desire to clear out all the bad air between parties and force the system to change for the better.

Maybe we weren’t going to make college free, ok?

But we would’ve had a president who cares about education.

And maybe that would’ve helped us move towards making it more available for all.

I’m sorry.

I’m just still.

Devastated.

Change - RM x WALE {MV Theory}

This is a video from the one and only ‘iBigHit’ of course it contains theories. 

1. The female student

The female student is fed up with studies, you completely see that from her face.  

She finds relieving her stress from her studies by watching TV, basically her hobi (sorry i have to).

2. The male and the female

They both are done with the reality, they are tired af of the reality and lost their passion for even facing it or live it,  (look at their tired faces)
Therefore they have VCR on.

 They choose virtuality over reality.

3. The male worker

This shows he is a workaholic, him getting up tied down means, he can’t escape from work. And that there is too much pressure on him, that he has lots of depression, stress, anxiety and etc.

4. The politician

We all know politicians are one of the worst things that can ever to a country. As a person who watches a lot of news. I figured out most politicians take bribes.
The politician at first was giving a speech. He was free.

 But in the end, you see him with the smoking cigar. and handcuffed. Most (maybe all) politicians don’t do or follow what they have said or stated in their speeches.
Because they took the bribe from other people (who are wealthy) to cause corruption. And blow the money


Handcuffed - because he took the bribe and can only do things that the other (the person whom he took bribe from) told him to do

Cigar - He is blowing the money on himself, wasting the money basically.

5. The maid

She is seen to be unhappy, basically because she hasn’t done much with her life, and unsatisfied with her job. 

Later on, she is seen with a smile on her face, meaning she is now happy with her job, she gets paid well (because she works in a wealthy family, look at her uniform)
and she is also happy with the fact that she isn’t going to like the other people around her are.

6. The tattooed guy

He is doing his job. Secretly that’s why he looked at the camera with the look ‘Mind your own business’

Note: having even a single ‘Tattoo’ in your body is banned in South Korea (or you may say Seoul), and people get it done by some underground resources. Having tattoo there basically means you are part of a certain ‘gang’. 

He looks at the camera at the end wondering ‘what’s such a big deal about these tattoos that are in my body?’ 

I have like tonnes of worksheets to do and look at me here, creating theories like a bitch. I hope I gain something from this.

dauntless-dreamers  asked:

Since you're pretty much the red queen psychic (you just KNOW what's gonna happen) what do you think will happen in rq4?

Sorry, it took me a while to answer, but this needed some time for gestation.

The opening is promising already. Mare and Farley crouching in some dark alley and the eerie politician hints at his scheme. Mare and Farley will both try to play along, yet they’ll constantly have to keep the other from shouting out her doubts. I love their new friendship and I look forward to this.

If I understand this right, the Guard, Monfort and King Volo still have some kind of alliance, so maybe Mare and Cal will still be meeting and discuss things, probably similarly spiteful as Mare’s conversations with Maven, though with a little, guilty, making out.

I’m super-suspicious of Davidson and Monfort. What happened to their Silvers? How much control do they hope to obtain? Do their have Newblood whispers? Is Jon sent by them?

I think there will be some mysterious explanations.

Maybe the title of the last book will be something with “blood”.

I’m not sure if we’ll get another Cameron POV, but if we do, she’ll need more plot on her own. Her storyline seems finished at the moment.

I want the Evangeline POV again, alone for the interaction with Cal. I think the not-couple has a lot of potential (but I thought the Farley x Cal friendship has a lot of potential too and look into what abyss that’s fallen). I’d like a Cal POV, but it’s unlikely we’ll have both him and Eve. I want Evane to be happy. I want Eve get away from her abusive parents.

I’d like the third POV to be from the Nortan court. I want Iris. GIve me Iris Cygnet Queen of Norta or give me death. Yeah. Or give her someone else to interact with. I think she is a force to be reckoned with. If Maven is on the brink of losing, she’ll make the important decisions. Though she will, of course, fight against Volo and this is a battle I want to see. I really hope she won’t get sidelined or just die, but I think she’d rather abdicate instead of fighting to the death (I mean I don’t want her to die).

And I really want a confrontation between Cal and Maven about the shattering of their family. I’d say this might happen during a fight, but as this wouldn’t be a fight between equals, there might be just words, unless Iris fights for Maven against Cal. Cal vs Iris is another duel I want to see.

I want Clara to call Farley mommy and Farley to be surviving the end.

I want Gilorn and Kilorn appreciation.

I want a democrazy in the end.

I think at least one of the trio Mare-Cal-Maven will die. Though right now, I’m more tending to Cal’s death than Mare’s or Maven’s.

I don’t know if I still want the Mare-and-Cal-found-a-power-plant-ending, but it’s remains a nice idea.

With time, I’ll have more thoughts. It’s a year at least, riiight??

Please add your ideas @lilyharvord @dewydrael @the-little-lightning-queen @clarafarleybarrow or whoever sees this.

The New Jedi Order Massacre

So, given some new information I’ve discovered, I didn’t really want to make a big video about the whole thing, I just wanted to write some thoughts I had about the “Massacre” and why I hope it’s not what it seems.  


This is what we ‘know’ about the New Jedi Order.   

- It existed.  I was one of those people who long believed it didn’t. (Due to PH statements saying to be careful calling it a ‘massacre’ or an ‘academy’ and that the forceback was NOT with Luke’s students)  I had hoped that, perhaps, the force had been dormant since Ben’s birth. (A new generation of Jedi could have been singular, and the destruction could have been the acolytes and the Church) But given recent rumors and the Visual dictionary, there were force sensitive students training with Luke. (I would have loved it though if Rey’s awakening was the first since Ben’s birth.   That the force was dormant for a long time (Rather than a few years))

- Kylo’s “Deadly Light Saber Skills” stopped the New Jedi Order from rising to power.   This is stated in the visual dictionary, we can beat around the bush, but to me, we can’t deny what this implies.   Kylo is responsible for the death of Luke’s students or that is what the Galaxy is lead to believe.  


Let’s talk about Claudia Gray’s Bloodline for a moment:

When it is discovered that Vader is the biological father of the Skywalker Twins this turns the Galaxy against Leia.  While she does have some loyalists, even her closest confidants for a short time begin to fear her, or think she’s a traitor/liar.  

Luke is mentioned very briefly by a concerned politician.  ( Luke is known to be force sensitive, he’s public about it. But it is stated that Leia has kept her abilities hidden, and it’s implied that Ben’s are hidden as well.)  This politician has their concerns about Luke and brings them to light in a very public fashion.  How are we to trust a force sensitive like Luke, who is born from the ultimate evil?  How can we let him run free in the Galaxy? This infuriates Leia and it’s dropped pretty quickly, she refuses for Luke (and her son) to be involved in her scandal.  Especially because Luke wanted to tell people earlier (specifically Ben).  Leia was the one who wanted nothing to do with that information.  

What this does though, is makes it known that there are people out there, most of the political world, uneasy of the Skywalkers.  The New Republic is already in shambles, and war is brewing again.   There are people desperate to prove that the Skywalkers cannot be trusted for the sake of political gain.  They need to prove that Vader has influenced them and they are not the beacon of light the Galaxy has thought. 

Kylo Ren is a political tool.  He stops being a person, and he’s now just a pawn in the war.   Or rather, a knight if you will.   This isn’t about Ben at all, it’s about destroying Luke and Leia (and Han).

(But destroying Han is one step closer to destroying Leia)

We have the Republic, the Centrists and the Populists.  Both parties have people who are adamantly against Leia.  Who want Leia out of power for good, for she can’t be trusted.   The Centrists ousted Leia in the first place for being Vader’s daughter, but that was just the beginning.  Luke and Leia had enough in the war efforts and good merits to make some believe that Vader’s influence hadn’t been passed down the familial line.  But we have the son.  The son who has remained out of the limelight because even his family knows, he is the perfect candidate.   

I have little doubt in my mind that we are going to learn that the New Republic was/is it’s own kind of horrible and corrupted.   It’s been outlined in Bloodline and that was a direct request from Rian Johnson himself, making me think that it may play a prominent role in the movies.  

So we have the coaxing of Ben from Snoke.  The subtle pull to the darkside is there.  The anger and fear are already inside of him.   We have an untrusting government who fears the fact that Son of Vader is training a new Force Sensitive army.   A superhuman Army.   We have politicians desperate to prove that Vader lives on in his familial line.  We also have potential Padawan students, who have just learned that their Jedi master is the direct descendant of the most terrifying man in recent history.  

So what does this mean for the New Jedi Order?  Not good things. 

1) Could Kylo Ren have been framed or set up?

Maybe.  It’s something I would love, and I do really believe that Kylo thinks he is doing the right thing for the Galaxy.  We have heard Rumors that Rey begins finding sympathy for Kylo, so that leads me to believe there is more to THIS story in particular.  Had the corrupted state of the New Republic ordered this “massacre”?  Had they framed it on the cherished Son to prove to the Galaxy that those Skywalker’s had the potential to be just as bad.  Had that betrayal (from the Republic and his own Family) pushed Ben over the edge? If Vader is who they were so afraid of,  Vader is who they would get.   A constant theme of Star Wars is that we create the villains we see, but we can also create heroes.   Had the Republic created the monster by wanting to prove that there was one? 

2) Could there have been a Padawan Uprising?

In a Galaxy where people are still so afraid of the return of the Empire, this also may be logical.   Had the students turned against the master out of fear?Had they turned to fear?  It’s possible to me that Ben turned against his fellow students because they had turned against him.  Not only had his apprentice turned to the darkside, but his other students had as well.  

3) Could the Jedi Knights be the Knights of Ren?

Now, I would love this, but it seems unlikely (especially given that the Knights have been around for much longer than Ben’s involvement).   But to me, Ren is no doubt short for Renaissance.  Perhaps Rebirthed Jedi Knights.  Maybe a few went alongside Ren, the one’s who sided with him if the other Padawans turned against him.   Interesting, but unlikely. 

Or we have a black and white, that’s the day Kylo turned, without much explanation.  It just happened. 

Either way, I have a huge feeling that the Government did everything in their power to make sure this happened.  This is coming from the Centrists (First Order) and the Populists.   The First Order needs their ‘Vader’ and the Populists need to make sure ‘Vader’ doesn’t return.   (Even if that means taking out the threat before it exists)

Why do I think there is more to this story?  

For one, that they didn’t discuss it much at all in the movie when it seems like a huge turning point for Ben’s character if it really was so Black and White.  Another reason is because Leia still see’s this light, and blames Snoke and not necessarily her Son for what happened.  But it is mostly because of his offer to teach Rey.  He doesn’t want to kill her.  He isn’t necessarily threatened by her existence, more awestruck, so I’m lead to believe that he isn’t desperate to eliminate force users in general.  There must have been a reason.

 Luke’s disappearance, to me, seems very sudden.   I’m not entirely convinced he had even spoken to Han or Leia since the incident.  He truly disappeared.  I think after the event, Luke sent away R2, then left himself without a word.   So how do Leia and Han know the details of this event?  Why is Leia not entirely convinced her son has completely turned?   There are a lot of questions to this story half told, and I hope they have taken the opportunity to explore it. 

anonymous asked:

Hi! Can you write a scenario with Taehyung, when you're his best friend and you have feelings for him, but he likes someone else, so you two fight and you stop talking to him and all that jazz? End it however you want! I trust you <3 Thaanks!

You know what maybe I just have a thing for school AUs. Hush. Also, I’m just warning you, this is hella long. -Avery

Originally posted by daesbulge

V - “Not Her” (angsty mostly)

Keep reading

Hope Estheim’s biggest flaw (0_0)

Ah ha! You thought just because I love Hope Estheim he’s perfect in my book? Well yeah pretty much, BUT I still came through some realizations after replaying Final Fantasy XIII. For better or for worse I saw little glimpses of the trilogy being developed from the first game. Now I don’t want to give Square Enix all the credit, for all I know maybe they didn’t mean to do this (sounds about right) however they alluded to a lot of ‘hmm THAT looks interesting huh oh well let’s keep moving.’ I remember Square Enix made the announcement of Final Fantasy XIII having a sequel almost immediately, so they teased a lot of Gran Pulse landmarks and left it alone.

So here is where I stumbled upon Hope being in conflict with what ended up being his future. Even his demise to some extent. Here we go…

[Hope thinking of the future]

Star Wars: Episode V - The Empire Strikes Back 

Yoda: This one a long time have I watched. All his life has he looked away… to the future, to the horizon. Never his mind on where he was. Hmm? What he was doing. Hmph! 

The quote above is from one of my favorite movies of all time where Master Yoda tells a surprised Luke Skywalker about Darth Vader (his father) obsession with trying to create his own future. So much to the point that before turning to the dark side Anakin made come true his own nightmare of his wife’s death through his fear of losing her. Although not the same case with Hope, the VERY same tactics and ideas are what make the character seem so innocent and pure yet end up becoming distorted and dangerous in the end.

My biggest conflict with Hope is that he means well in fact you might even say he’s the only real pure character in the first game. Which is why Lightning changed into such a drastically different person when Hope was by her side. She lost her parents at the same age he did and understood once you go down a path filled with revenge and anger there was no turning back.  

Here’s the kicker. Lightning and Hope’s similarities end there. Hope is very much the opposite of Lightning. You find later on how Lightning is always focused on the here and now. Moving on instinct and using clarity as a weapon.

Hope is anything but that. Actually he constantly tests her which always ends with the poor kid being pushed or yelled at by Lightning for not doing what she says. 

Somewhere between making amends with Snow and his father Bartholomew, Hope begins to gain confidence in his ideas. And as the game progresses you end seeing Hope take the reigns a few times. Even acting as the moral compass of the first game.

[Hope convinces the group they can win]

However just as Hope can be analytical and optimistic about his plans, it sets up a trigger for a future that he helps create…then destroy.

FFXIII Reminiscence: Tracer of memories

Aoede:“And the people were persuaded because you showed them you were prepared to go first?”

“…I thought it was a complete farce, myself. The words coming out of my mouth sounded noble, virtuous, but in the end, all I did amounted to nothing more than political posturing to win the people over. I sold them false hope… again.”  -Hope Estheim 

Between the second game and the final installment Hope became humanity’s leader. Which although granted, is a step up from Academy Director…things start changing. For starters most of his group of friends have either gone missing, died, or turned into crystals. Granted maybe that alone might make one become depressed. Except that’s the thing, Hope is shown through the novel Tracer of Memories that he bottled up all his feelings for 300 years. 

As humanity’s leader he became more of a politician and eventually stopped research personally as the chaos infected the world. So what caused all this?

Himself. Hope constantly dragged his believes to the point where instead of opening up to others for help and trying to figure out the problem like in the first game, he lied to everyone so much that he himself started to become cynical. I suppose telling lies for that long might tend to make one bitter. So as one lie led to another he started trying to play politics and focused more on making people “feel” safe rather than doing anything about the issue. 

We find out Hope secretly kept a group of researchers in the ark where they almost had a breakthrough with chaos infusion. Before the rose colored phantom appeared anyways. 

By the way do you see a pattern here? 

Innocence turning to maturity. Maturity turning into stoic. Stoic turning into instinctive….who does that sound like?

[Can’t put my finger on it lol] 

Again the reason why I love Hope so much is because he does try to save everyone. The flaw however is that he loses himself to a dark path because he was scared what others might think if they knew ALL of the truth. Something the old Hope would never fear. Which does make it funny how sometimes its true that when your a kid everything is ‘simple.’ And the more we grow up as adults everything becomes more ‘complicated’ as the fear and pressure of the world lingers through you. As a matter of fact in the novel which takes place after the third game where Hope exists in a new world as an adult turns Aoede’s interview into a psychiatrist meeting. The poor guy is basically guilty about everything and even resorts to self loathing whenever Aoede comments anything positive he did. 

She literally tells him that he did far more than anyone individual should ever be tasked with and yet Hope basically convinces himself that he made it all worse.

Imagine me reading this with a frown. I was almost worried for the dude because the last thing I wanted for my favorite character to be depressed. Although thankfully the novel does end on a ‘light’ note.

[It better have, otherwise I would have resorted to an awkward monitor hug]

But then it got me thinking, you know between Hope’s struggle to keep humanity safe and fighting for Fang and Vanille’s freedom; did bringing his mother also matter at this point. Its never stated specifically, but Hope does sort of make priorities with humanity’s survival. And although I really feel bad for him I wonder if his optimism was as dangerous as Lightning’s pessimism?

Oh but I’m saving THAT little subject for another time! 

In the end I really think Hope Estheim is an amazing character, and even though he’s very dear to me I won’t just pretend that he’s without flaws.

After all he’s normal right? We all have flaws, which is why I cling on the idea that sometimes pointing out something bad in what you love only shows how much you care. To be more honest though I never imagined that a character like Hope could ever be evil. Sometimes however all it takes is for a character’s purest intention to be stolen and remolded into something sinister. 

To that end I think Hope really was a strong character. It was his compassion and love for others that Bhunivelze tuned into a sick devotion and lust for control over humans. And his savior.

Ya know, I thought on November 8th I would maybe be able to have a little hope that things would get a little bit better…not become so bad that I would feel the need to practically become a politician.

I play video games because they are enjoyable just like any entertainment. I have played many things in my life because I try everything. Yet there are those games that stick out that are not only entertaining but speak some kind of moral. Normally morals in video games can be short and sweet maybe even simple.

Yet there are those games like Persona who try to make people think beyond. In this case it was society and boy did they hit it perfectly. There were many issues in the game that felt like it was actually real life. The biggest was how politicians and even the media change what we think. I myself don’t really pay much attention I rather just sit back and have fun. Or better yet surrendering ourselves to it and not letting ourselves actually think for ourselves.

But it hard not to notice it. And honestly I thank Persona 5 for opening my eyes to be more self-aware and even look up to it morals of society. While the game ended off with us changing it completely we can hopefully change it little by little in real life.

Maybe I’m taking a game to seriously but I’ll gladly do so.
Thank you Persona 5 for everything!

I’m Gonna Talk About My Anxiety Now.

I apologize for the wall of text in advance. Sorry kitty girls. (I learned that phrase from RuPaul’s Drag Race. I’m trying it out. I don’t know how it feels. I don’t think it suits me, but I had to try. When April reads this, she will probably punch me.)

I’m pretty candid about having clinical anxiety. I know a lot of people who follow me, my career, and “Spring Awakening” also suffer from it. People would talk to me at the stage door about it all the time. I get a lot of questions about it in my ask box in regards to how I deal with it, especially as an actor. The concept of standing in front of thousands of people every night and singing is the absolute WOOOOORST. So I get it. I’m an interesting person to talk to about it. But I want to make it clear that just because I can perform in front of people, and can pretend like I’ve got it all figured out, doesn’t mean that I don’t struggle with this bitch of a mental illness every single day. I don’t feel like I should be the person writing about this, but I have a small following, and I want to try and help anyone who listens. 

FYI- If you said something to me at the stage door about it, or said something to me in my ask box about it, know that I think you are very brave. Also know that (in my experience, anyway) talking about it is the first step towards feeling better. 

I want to preface all of this by stating that I am in NO WAY A MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL. If you have anxiety, depression, or anything like that, and you cannot manage it on your own, PLEASE SEEK HELP FROM A PROFESSIONAL. DON’T FOLLOW THE ADVICE OF A YOUNG ACTOR ON TUMBLR FOR GOD’S SAKE. DON’T DO IT GUYS, OKAY?

Moving along.

I had my first experience with anxiety when I was a junior in high school. I think I was 17. Of course, at the time, I had no idea what anxiety disorder was. I remember being in the lunch room, feeling a weird chest pain, having everything go blurry, and then totally blacking out. When I regained my composure I was terrified, sweating like I just ran a mile, was confused, and was convinced that I was going to die. I was immediately sent to the nurse’s office. No one could understand why my heart rate was going insane. Before long, I found myself in a doctor’s office hooked up to a bunch of scary looking machines. The doctor told me that I was totally fine, so I left his office feeling confused and totally on edge. In fact, he told me that I could “go play a game of soccer.” I include that quote because it was weird as fuck, and I’ll never forget it. Like. Why would you say THAT? Of ALL THINGS.

Anyway.

These weird experiences (panic attacks, as I would eventually learn they were called) happened pretty regularly over the next year, and continued through senior year. I sort of just dealt with them, thinking that there was no solution for me. I was tired as hell. Every day I would wake up, go to school, leave school, and go to sleep for as long as I could until I had to go to band practice, or rehearsal for the school musical. It felt like my body was attacking me.

I would sleep as much as I could but I was an honor student, was figuring out college, was the class president (lol, I know, right?), one of the editors of the yearbook, was having my heart broken by a girl who I was completely in love with, was in a band that played shows throughout the NY/NJ area, and was the lead of the school musical. I had no time to deal with it properly. (If you read all of that again, you’ll see that it was basically a recipe for anxiety. Even as I type it and look at it, it makes a lot of sense.)

The really weird thing is that one day, the attacks just stopped. Completely stopped. Everything felt normal, and I just assumed everything was okay. And everything was okay for five years. I managed to get through all of college without a single major panic attack. I felt no anxiety, and everything was totally okay. To this day, I’ll never understand how I made it through college happily, without panic, without major anxiety, and without feeling like I needed to jump off of a very high cliff to escape it.

After I graduated from college, I immediately went on tour with Green Day’s “American Idiot” and I continued to feel normal, happy, and healthy. I got through that entire tour feeling like a million bucks. I was happy, I had a great time, and felt like everything was going to be awesome.

A few months later, tour ended. I was in “21 Chump Street” (which was the coolest week ever), and soon jumped back into the world of frequently auditioning.

And then one day, I felt a stabbing pain in my stomach. And then the next day I felt a stabbing pain in my stomach. And the day after. And the day after. And the day after. And the day after. And then one day, I had a complete nervous breakdown as a result.

I remember it vividly. I was out to dinner with my girlfriend April, and her wonderful family. We were sitting at the dinner table, and much like junior year of high school, everything went black. When I regained composure, I realized that I was in the bathroom of the restaurant, crying, with my head between my legs. I had, apparently, excused myself from dinner, ran away, and went to the bathroom. I didn’t remember any of it.

Upon my request, April went to the nearest Urgent Care with me. They told me that I was totally fine. Which pissed me off. How could I be fine? How could I feel like this and be medically “fine?”

I went home to New Jersey to spend some time with my family, and completely lost my shit. I’ll spare you the details, but it was similar to the restaurant episode. My dad took me to the emergency room, where I was told I was having an “anxiety attack.”

I didn’t believe the doctor. Everything sucked. I felt like I could faint any second. My stomach was on fire. My head hurt. My chest felt like it had a jackhammer in it. A week later, I was back in the same emergency room. 

I had every test imaginable performed on me, only to be told that I was completely fine. The doctor was stumped, especially because I was completely insistent that I was dying of something. 

Therapy had been recommended. 

I’m going to skip a huge amount of time now, because the details don’t matter, I don’t want to bore you with them, and honestly, I don’t feel like typing them. But therapy helped a lot.

The important thing is that I struggle every single day, like so many people in the world do, and like so many of YOU do.

Every single day is a new challenge. Sometimes I convince myself I’m dying of something. Sometimes I get dizzy. Sometimes I get scared. Sometimes I look like a bus is about to hit me. Sometimes I look like a bus has hit me. For no reason. Sometimes I literally get anxiety about getting anxiety. It’s weird. But I’ve made a commitment to myself to never, ever again let myself be completely defeated by this disease.

And it IS a disease. Mental health is difficult, and it’s tricky to talk about, and it can be embarrassing. But the fact of the matter is that my brain produces too much adrenaline sometimes, which makes me really scared, and my brain isn’t so great at processing what is a real threat and what isn’t real sometimes. But that’s totally fine, because I’ve worked very hard to find out how to continue with my day. I hope anyone suffering with this will talk to a PROFESSIONAL and find out the best steps for them.

Lastly: PERFORMING.

How can I be a performer while dealing with all of this weirdness? 

Honestly it’s the thing that makes the most sense. I love sharing parts of myself with people. I love talking. I love making stuff. I love singing. I love acting. I love auditioning! I love playing guitar. I love being a professional. I love working with other artists to find the best way to tell a story. I love getting in front of people and creating a shared experience. Performing has always been the one thing that makes me feel completely at ease. When I’m in a rehearsal, a songwriting session, a performance, or whatever. It is the one place and time that I have always felt completely in control of myself and the world around me. Nothing can ever take that from me. Ever.

I hope that anyone also suffering from anxiety can also find their “thing!” Maybe it will be programming, or writing, or dancing, or being a politician, or doing people’s taxes, or petting dogs, or running, or cooking, or teaching.

Whatever it is, it can be found, and I think every single one of you rocks.


Now that that’s out of the way, please feel free to fill my ask box with questions about poop and stuff.

10 Reasons to Love ‘The Long Way to a Small Angry Planet’ by Becky Chambers

What it’s about:

The crew of the Wayfarer, a wormhole-building spaceship, get the job offer of a lifetime: the chance to build a hyperspace tunnel at the centre of the galaxy. The journey will be time-consuming and difficult, but the pay is enough to endure any discomfort. All they have to do is survive the long trip through war-torn interstellar space without endangering any of the fragile alliances that keep the galaxy peaceful. But every crewmember has a secret to hide, and they’ll soon discover that space may be vast, but spaceships are very small indeed.

And here’s 10 reasons I love it:

1. Feel-good science fiction. Bad things happen. Injustice exists. And yet, the world is a mostly beautiful and good place. Bad people exist, but people in general are mostly nice and almost always interesting. It’s a truly heart-warming novel.

2. It’s a great big world. There are all these interesting alien species, with interesting cultures and history which affect their society. If you love well-written settings where the lore isn’t a bunch of facts but is actually a huge factor in the plot, you will like this.

3. Great characters. This is a character-driven story. Every crew member matters and is made interesting and memorable. This isn’t a story about the Chosen One saving the galaxy. This is the story of the crew on a ship that builds traffic routes. Sure, they’re a rather unique bunch, but ultimately there are a lot of ships like theirs and a lot of equally interesting destinies in the galaxy.

4. Great female characters. I’m not quite sure who I like more - the badass pilot, the smart but inexperienced clerk or the mechanic who spreads joy around her and keeps the ship from exploding. Or maybe that male crewmember’s love interest, who is the captain of a military freight ship and has more scars than her boyfriend. Or maybe the many women mentioned in passing who have agency and are out there doing things. Researchers, soldiers, doctors, ship captains, cult members, pilots, mechanics, traders, politicians…

5. It’s anti-prejudice. It’s relaxing to read authors who actually like people. I read a lot, but it’s not often that I see a character think “wow, she’s weird - wait, that was a bit prejudiced of me.” It’s not just that, though. The world itself seems much less sexist, racist, homophobic and transphobic than today’s world. It’s a very relaxing world to get to inhabit for a while.

6. Everyone isn’t white and straight. Tired of sci-fi and fantasy settings like that? Here, have a setting where most humans are people of color and where non-straight relationships really aren’t a big deal.

7. Aliens who upset the gender binary. Some people use xe or they as pronouns. Some species change sex during their life time, going from female to male to neither. None of it is treated as weird or icky or annoying. This makes me very happy. Even in our world, gender’s a lot more complicated than “there are two sexes,” yet books are often “here are all these extraordinary species that are totally different from humans, yet every single being is still either male or female.”

8. The aliens are strange, but so are the humans. Human culture is as interesting as the alien cultures. Human culture has actually been shaped by history. For example, the culture of the Exodus Fleet has a pacifistic streak, which has formed Ashby’s strong aversion to weapons. There’s also the fact that humans don’t have one unified culture - there are differences between Mars and the Exodus Fleet, as well as differences based on class and where you grew up.

9. The clerk who kicks ass. As an academic, it makes me happy to see someone save the day more than once by being knowledgable, doing research and filling out the right forms.

10. The author is very nice. Got a lore question? Send it to beckysaysrawr and you may get it answered. (Same handle on Twitter.) Becky Chambers is a writer, journalist, editor and all around cool person who seems very happy to talk to her fans.

(11. I just spent waaay too long writing this post. Seriously, it’s unhealthy. I need food and my back is killing me. If that’s not proof I love this book, I don’t know what is.)


Okay But How About Smol Sportacus and Smol Robbie

The idea that Sportacus and Robbie are ALSO kids themselves, playing an elaborate and imaginative game with all the other children in Lazy Town?

I mean, that might be why you don’t see any other adults around, because children tend to ignore adults when they’re playing. It would also explain why Sportacus goes to sleep at 8:08 and sleeps 11 hours, because that’s how much sleep kids need and maybe 8:08 was his bargain with his mom about staying up later than 8.

Robbie’s parents (unattentive politician father and gambler mother) leave him alone most of the time so he occupies his time with costumes and building little machines and what not, and only eats cake because it’s the only thing he doesn’t have to cook (he doesn’t know how to cook) and hates vegetables from the ground because he thinks they’re dirty, but might eat them cooked as long as it’s a hot meal. Robbie can’t sleep at home because of fighting
(Poor baby 😢).

Smol Sportscus includes Smol Robbie in the games because the other kids won’t ask him to play, but he’s afraid to play and get his clothes dirty or get yelled at.

Fortunately, seeing that this is a pop concert, puts me in an awkward position cause I’m a pop star. I’m not a politician, I’m not a figure who should really, maybe, even have a license to talk about these things. But what I wanna say is that as a person, just as a person. I’m incredibly proud of everybody here because if we start living in fear, we start letting people feel like they’re infringing on our liberties, then we’ve lost. And from what I know this country, you’re compassionate, lovely bunch of people and we’re not gonna fucking stand for that are we? We’re not gonna stand for patriarchy. So good for you Brussels, you’re fucking cool. We love you.
—  Matty Healy talking about the Brussels attacks on March 30, 2016 during the concert
the reason why i love padmé amidala

i was six when i first watch star wars and i cant even remember my reaction to it or what movie i saw first. i only remember loving and watching the movies over and over and over again. i remember watching the prequels just so i could watch my idol padmé amidala.

i know natalie’s carrier was nearly destroyed after the prequels and i understand why some cannot stand them. but guys please keep in mind how important padmé was too young children across the world. she is a true figure for feminism. she is brave, she can hold her own. she’s beautiful, but uses her witts more than her beauty. she’s not afraid to love and be loved, she stands for what is right and will keep fighting. she founded the rebel alliance, long before it even was a thing. 

padmé nabaree amidala isn’t just a side character, she was my idol growing up. i wanted to be her, just like her. become a politician, maybe an aid worker. she shows us the importance of being compassionate to others while still kicking ass. though george can you please confirm the fan theory of her death bc that was just poorly planned out with no explanation 

i was always padmé whilst playing star wars with my friends. i didn’t need the lightsaber like the others, because i had a gun. i didn’t need the force, because i have my brains. 

padmé amidala shows us the importance of personality and the importance of using your brain instead of beauty

We’re very careful about the companies and brands we align ourselves with. There’s a reason you’ve never seen us play a Converse show. When we learned Urban Outfitters was carrying our record, we asked our distributor to pull their stock. A lot of bands believe there are certain paths you have to take towards success, and in the #branding era, a lot of those paths are paved with sponsorship money. But there are plenty of ways to work outside of those prescribed routes and we try to take those paths. Especially since we live in a country where lawmakers and law enforcers are constantly infringing upon the rights of women, of queer people, of people of color. All three of those marginalized groups are represented within our band, so it would seem disingenuous and frankly horrifying to work with companies that work against basic human rights, like Urban Outfitters, who like to support indie bands but have donated lots of money to evil, bigoted, anti-gay politicians. On some level I feel a responsibility to call these things out; maybe we have fans who don’t want to support a company that is LGBT-unfriendly, or employs sweatshop labor, and are just unaware of the practices.

My boyfriend is Icelandic so I can clear this whole thing up! Boys have -son added to their dad’s name as a surname, so my boyfriend ends up as Ævarsson, cause his dad is Ævar. If he was a girl, he’d get -dottir (meaning daughter). And if he has kids, they’d be Hinriksson or Hinriksdottir respectively. The extra “s” will be added with some names for grammatical reasons.

But Icelanders don’t use surnames like other cultures do. You’re generally referred to by your first name and maybe middle name if there’s two people with the first name in the room. Even teachers and politicians are first name only. Some people adopt family names like former Reykjavík mayor Jón Gnarr or the author Halldór Laxness, but this is rare. There are legal rules regarding naming convention in Iceland and unless you’re from a Danish family and have kept a family name for generations, or you can argue your case against the Naming Commitee, you’re gonna be a -son or a -dottir. This is why when Iceland was doing well in the Euro 2016 soccer, you had foreign commentators saying “Gunnarsson has the ball” and the Icelandic ones saying “Aron has the ball”. This is also how you end up with a fuckton of dudes called Jón Jónsson.

This isn’t an entirely unique concept, old Gaelic naming conventions are similar. Incidentally, this is why names like Pritchard and Price are common in Wales; the old naming conventions in Welsh involved “ap Richard”, meaning “son of Richard”, which was later shortened to Prichard.

Icelanders generally don’t have an issue with Patronymic naming conventions anyway, they have one of the best records for gender equality and surnames are only used for bureaucracy shit anyway. And Icelanders are very proud of the fact they retain so much of original Norse culture.


Also from an anon

Hi, I’m an actual Icelandic person and I’m gonna explain the Icelandic naming system. The tradition is that the father takes the priority hence why people’s “surnames” are always their fathers’ names + “son” or “dóttir” depending on their gender. In some cases their mother’s name will be used but that happens very rarely. Some people also have family’s surnames, (like Magnús Örn Eyjólfsson Scheving who’s usually referred to as Magnús Scheving) but that’s also very rare

Both of these are very informative, so thank you both!

@taylorswiftville, check this out.

4

Priyanka Chopra is a Woman We Love For so Many Reasons (Source: Esquire)

On the term “Bollywood” and being called a “Bollywood celebrity”:

“I’m proud of being Indian, but I don’t think I need to be labeled based on where I am from. It’s divisive in many ways, and we’re already so divided. By saying ‘Bollywood'—first of all, we’re not an offshoot of Hollywood, we’re the Indian film industry that produces a tremendous array of films every year—it’s using a word that encapsulates a stereotype of what we are. And we don’t really do that with any other countries. We don’t say, 'Spanish celebrity Penelope Cruz’ or 'Italian star Sophia Loren.’ So why make it a defining point for me? I’m trying to be global and trying to push us, as a society, to becoming colorblind, and so I’m very grateful to ABC for casting me in Quantico. It was based on my merit, not on my ethnicity. The part wasn’t written for an Indian girl, it was just written for an ass-kicking, mess of a girl, and I happen to portray her best.”

On the state of television (and movies):

“The strongest content is ALL on television right now. And, happily, there are strong, amazing characters for women. Quantico is a huge example of that. When was the last time you saw a hijab-wearing, ballsy, badass, unapologetic, flirtatious female FBI agent in a film? Movies are now so much about the entertainment. They’re all big blockbusters. And I love them, don’t get me wrong, but the writing has all gone to television.”

On being in your 30s versus your 20s:

“In my 20s, I used to have a lot more energy! I was this skydiving, bungee-jumping adrenaline junkie. I don’t know what happened to me! Now that I’m in my early 30s, I’ve put all that energy into my work, although I’m still a little ridiculous. In your 30s, you’re sensible enough to know better, but still stupid enough to do stupid things. ”

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

How would you describe Kai's character? The thing is a lot of fics portray him as sort of spineless and useless-teenager-ish, with no clear character distinction. I'd like to remind the fandom that he snarks at a woman who would make him cut out his own tongue and nail it to the palace gate, and when said woman flies into an incredible rage, he does *the most disrespectful thing he can think of*. That takes guts, if not a small measure of idiocy. (But we already knew about that.)

Oh my stars, anon, I think Kai is a whole lot of gusto and umph and snark and desire to rebel often forced to hide behind political correctness. Let’s not forget that although we all wanted to throw our books against the wall when he allowed Levana to put Cinder in jail, he chose his country’s well-being, and ultimately Earth’s, over his own happiness. That takes a lot of guts and a lot of (good) character, because he sacrificed his own desires to achieve what he thought was a greater good - peace. If we look at practical skills, then yes, maybe Kai does not have so many compared to the others such as shooting guns or flying or building androids or hacking. But let’s not forget the power of POWER which can be used for great evil or great good. Let’s also not forget the power of words and diplomacy and how most people wrote “I bet Kai wrote that speech” when Cinder’s “call to the rebels” was released by the publishers last week. It was a pretty good speech and I bet everyone is thankful that they have a skilled politician with them. 

One of the things I’m most excited about in Winter is Kai’s chance to prove himself. I think it will take him awhile to adjust to his new settings and gain his footing and place, but I think we will see really cool things from him. Maybe he was a little “confused” (ahem) by not figuring out Cinder was Princess Selene, but can you really blame him?  At least he was looking for Princess Selene, which is more than any other politician was doing.

Finally, we now know that they’re going to try to fake the wedding on Luna. Or, he will have to go through with it before they get the chance to kill her/overthrow her. I don’t really know how they’re going to explain away Kai getting to Luna but I know he will be walking into the snake pit (or with Levana, more like the fire pit, ha) and that takes a lot of bravery. Sometimes I imagine him like chained in the palace just so he can’t escape again. I don’t know. But I don’t think it will be very pretty, and will likely involve some groveling on his part.

Poor guy. He had a lot of things thrown at him and he finally worked out some of his own prejudices and is even allowing himself the slightest bit of happiness while on the Rampion with Cinder.

This has been an LLC advertisement for Kai: he’s a (sometimes confused) pure little BRAVE cinnamon roll, okay?

the Gazette - Free Talking vol.1 [part 3]

haruurara-kazan on tumblr translated very funny topic of Garish Room “Free Talking”.

First part was published in issue #17 (2013) and the last one in #24.

I will translate it on english piecemeal. This is very cute and funny)

****************************************************************************************************

9. If you had life not related to the group

Ruki: “If you have not played in a group, in your opinion, what would you do?”

Aoi: That is, if we go the other way?

Ruki: Yes, something like this.

Aoi: I would have been a carpenter.

Others: Wo-o-w!

Aoi: This is a very profitable business.

Reita: You would be someone like a senior carpenter?

Aoi: Yes-yes. I dabbled a bit in this case, but the chief … His salary envelopes were so incredibly thick that even standing vertically.

Kai: Cool. You worked there?

Aoi: Not very long. I was an apprentice. Before surfing.

Uruha: I didn’t know you were working somewhere other than the wedding hall.

Aoi: There (in the wedding hall), I worked after moving to Tokyo. 

Reita: Uh, you had a work related to lighting there? As you said, directing the spotlight and weeping? (laughs)

Uruha: This is cute.

Aoi: Yes, it was. This job was not for me. I always cry at such moments.

Reita: I see. Not so long ago, by the way, there was a wedding of a manager. And when the bride was reading a letter, only me and Aoi shed a tear. And you were like nothing to do with dry eyes.

Ruki: Well, just the bride was a stranger to us.

Reita: Yes, we haven’t ever seen her too, but still. (laughs)

Uruha: And I’d like to work in a field related to the mechanisms.

Ruki: For example?

Uruha: When I’m asked this way, I can nothing certain imagine … 

Ruki: Well, what would you do with the mechanisms, for example?

Uruha: Maybe I would have produced something for the machine … I’m telling you, I haven’t any specific ideas! What are you stuck!

Reita: So, the important thing is to participate in the work of any machinery. (laughs)

Kai: And I would like to develop games. I would take to come up with programming or subjects. It sounds interesting. Have you in the past indulged in RPG Maker?

Uruha: Me and Ruki created our own game once. Pretty stupid (laughs)

Ruki: Even ashamed to say how stupid. But messing with it was quite interesting (laughs)

Aoi: This is stupid.

Reita: … A politician, I guess.

Others: E-e-e-e-h?!

Reita: I answered the same in France or somewhere at a press conference. When a journalist asked us a question "What would you do if not play in a band?“ I said “Politics” and all smiled tightly. Ruki, too, said he wants to be a politician, didn’t you? 

Ruki: No, I answered quite differently. I said "It would be nice to become prime minister”, but this would absolutely not happen. 

Reita: And what I’m saying? Do you think I would be a politician, not because I want to become prime minister ?!

Aoi: And so do you want?

Reita: Yes I would like to.

Aoi: And what would you do?

Kai: What a pre-election program would you have?

Reita: First of all, to abolish the politicians.

Uruha: But you yourself would be a politician??

Reita: No, well, I am me.

Ruki: You’re a tyrant! (laughs)

Kai: Let’s say you became prime minister. What would you like to do?

Reita: I want to change Japan!

Aoi: Petty thoughts!

Reita: And I want to enter the history books.

Ruki: More petty!

Reita: I will think about it …

Ruki: And I … well, whoever I wanted to be …

Reita: You had plenty of time to think about the answer in advance!

Uruha: You said that you especially without a difference? 

Ruki: Perhaps the artist.

Reita: So, like Van Gogh? Who, I wonder, sets prices at the pictures… But artists are engaged only painting pictures?

Aoi: If buyers appear, they open an art gallery. And visitors of a gallery buy their paintings.

Reita: Then, Ruki will draw pictures, and I’ll keep the gallery!

Ruki: But you were a politician!

Aoi: Talking about artists, when after some time a picture will get a price, the artist begins to receive a profit from painted pictures, but first creations sold for pennies.

Reita: That is how. And sometimes prices of paintings soaring only after the author’s death.

Ruki: If to think so … I probably also would like to become a politician.

Reita: Why would you!

10. And in sorrow and in joy

Ruki: It seems that our time limit expires. The next question will be the last. Well, pull, pull! "Over the past 10 years, can you remember the most difficult time?“

Aoi: Hmm. The most difficult time, perhaps, was in the beginning. Because we had no money.

Uruha: They say that the lack of money makes people closer, and strengthen their friendly relations, stronger links between them and all that. They say that  people are reinforced by the feeling that they are bound by fate. 

Aoi: While we definitely said in the interviews, and often enough, that we are bound by fate.

Reita: Exactly, we said.

Aoi: In the sense that after returning home from a tour, even at home, we had nothing to eat, so we wanted to go back on tour. (laughing)

Reita: For me it was the most painful time, when we released singles Filth in the Beauty and Regretin a row; it is in fact impossible to imagine now. At the end of the third day I thought, “Here it is over." We were not able to play. And we were afraid that when the tour will end and we will end. Don’t you remember? Although in the end, of course, we succeed.

Ruki: Hmm … I don’t remember.

Uruha: And I don’t remember.

Reita: … Well then, enough of that. (laughing)

Ruki: Yeah, the lack of money was a big problem.

Reita: Nevertheless, it was fun.

Aoi: Yes, definitely.

Ruki: It was hard during the transfers in a rented van. Our current van is very good. Although, if only because it has serviceable air conditioning.

Reita: Especially in the summer, because of the heat, we sat behind the wheel topless. Because the air conditioning didn’t save us.

Aoi: Just like a trip to Gunma. It was really hard. Although we only went to live, even before its beginning, we were all sweaty. (laughs)

Reita: Now, perhaps, it would be great to tour by ourselves. (to drive)

Ruki: Maybe try?

Aoi: No, you won’t do this!

Ruki: We-e-ll… yes, we are not able to save money now like then. Although worth!

Aoi: About what I’m saying. (laughs)

Ruki: Well, it was nice talking. If the reviews are positive, perhaps, it would be great to arrange such talk next time. 

Reita: The next time it would be good to collect questions from all.

Ruki: And as a result of today’s gatherings, I’m voicing the idea: "And shouldn’t Reita make a radio again?”

Reita: Well, or something like that. (laughs)

translated form japanese to russian by haruurara-kazan.tumblr

translated from russian to english by me

as always thx for reading and sorry for mistakes ;)

original: http://haruurara-kazan.tumblr.com/post/125873272965/the-gazette-free-talking-vol1

ponyumbreon  asked:

So what is Cave Johnson's role in the TF2 Avatar universe? I sort of picture him doing well as a politician. Maybe he could the mayor of Republic City? I can picture him using the whole "combustible lemon" thing in one of his public speeches... And maybe one of his ancestors could be the one with a connection to Spirit!GLaDOS/Caroline, depending on what you want to do for that backstory.

I have no idea. At the moment, he has a Apertures science like company and he the competitor of Future industries. No idea for Caroline but perhaps something happen in the past that turn her into Glados. Maybe Cave’s past experiments gone wrong? 

I like your idea. The future mayor for Republic city. Funny. Maybe instead of him he had family members that are into science and Caroline is involved in that? I don’t know. 

Jupiter Ascending

Before the film :
This will be absolute trash but i have nothing better to do.

During the film :
What the actual fuck is going on?

After the film:
Okay so angsty albino space werewolf with wings and antigrav rollerblades.
Angsty bee man misses his wings and was also a space marine.
Angsty mummy’s boy misses his dead but not dead mother but maybe wants to fuck/kill her?
Other not-quite-so-angsty mummy’s boy absolutely wants to fuck AND kill his mother.
Where the fuck did Kalique go?
Who the hell was the space-owl man thing?
Why was there a beurocratic politician-robot called Bob?
Why doesn’t every movie have a beurocratic politician robot called Bob?
Everything exploded. Everything. Constantly.
What ?
Why ?
How ?
There is a plot. Somewhere, I can feel it.
Somewhere underneath the incest and wierdery, probably nestling in a forgotten corner along with my sanity.

The morning after the film :
Still not over the alien were-bee ex-space marine named Stinger and played by Sean bean.

Now, 24 hours after the film:
I don’t know what that was but I need more.