maybe because it knows that i won't have a lot of time for it in the next months

if there’s one thing i love more than badboy beka and fuckboy beka, it’s softboy beka.

consider him:

  • at home in the winter wearing comfy sweats and oversized, chunky knit sweaters and slouchy beanies, drinking tea and tending his plants.
  • keeping multiple sets of reading glasses scattered around his apartment because he sometimes forgets where he last put them and doesn’t like to go digging every time he wants to read.
  • volunteering at an animal shelter whenever he gets the chance, and his favorite thing to do is take the big dogs out back and just cuddle em, because everyone knows that big dogs are the most gentle babies and he can relate.
  • sending his mother flowers for his birthday, because she really did all the work, he just showed up at the end.
  • keeping a box in his room of little things he finds that remind him of yuri, and every time they see each other, he wraps them up in a brown paper package to give as a hello gift (yuri starts doing it, too, and the first time it happened, otabek got a lil misty).
  • preferring to decorate his apartment with ferns and succulents and crystals and heavy velvet curtains, partly for aesthetic™, but also because he read a lot of stories about magic when he was a child and he’s fascinated with the idea of nature being mystical, so he wants his environment to feel that way.
  • going hiking, and always taking a sapling to plant in empty spots of the forest he loves and appreciates so much.
  • keeping a leather bound journal buried in the drawer of his nightstand that he jots down pieces of dreams he remembers or lyrics to songs he’d like to write or bits of his life he’d like to always remember. when he fills up a journal, he seals it with a string and some wax and dates it so he can go back to it in a year and relive those memories.
  • never having been much of a holiday guy, but when yuri came into his life, he kinda got dragged into it because that boy LOVES a holiday, so one year he spent three hours researching different ones on google just so he’d be ready when necessary.
  • whenever he goes home for a visit, it’s a tradition that he sits on the back porch chatting with his parents while his little sisters braid the long parts of his hair with flowers. they always take a group picture when they’re done; he has a corkboard at his place dedicated to just these photos. whenever yuri starts to visit with him, his sisters lose their minds and insist on doing his hair, too. those pictures go at the top of the board.
  • every time he plays a gig and friends of his go to see it, at the end of the night, he makes sure to round them up and get them safely into a taxi before he packs up his equipment and leaves himself. yuri noticed that he does it after a few times, so he took over the duty whenever he goes to watch, that way otabek can focus on winding down after his set. otabek always gets a little smile on his face whenever his phone lights up with a text that says all good, everyone’s safely on their way home with a picture of yuri giving a thumbs up in front of a cab stuffed with six drunk dudes.
  • his favorite time of year is the fall, because he loves watching the living alchemy of trees changing colors, and smelling the crispness of the season rushing in, and he knows his birthday is coming and he still gets really excited about it, because it’s nice to get attention for something so mundane sometimes. every year, whatever yuri sends comes stuffed full of confetti in new and creative ways. he still finds pieces of it under his furniture for the next three months no matter how careful he is.

basically, i love otabek ‘look like a badass, walk with love’ altin, and so should you.

how I see the signs and what I want them to know
  • (side note - View of a Virgo rising, Leo sun in the 12th, Libra moon in 2nd, mercury Cancer in 11th, venus Leo in 12th, mars Leo in 11th)
  • Aries: was once my best friend, she made literally everything in my life brighter and always helped me to just enjoy things and stop worrying all the time. Also great hugs. Just simply has that energy, wherever it may be - physically, mentally, staying up until you binge watched that show, giving you their last money so you can get yourself something to eat before you starve to death, always down for a talk and a walk even if they had a packed schedule. Please don't miss out on times when you just have to take a day off to get your beautiful and strong energy back. I care about your health so please don't forget to eat properly and don't miss out on that quality time if needed.
  • Taurus: a girl from my drama class and my little sisters moon sign, I am just so in love with your sense for aesthetic. Total sunshines. I feel like I can always rely on you, super compassionate and knows how to make you feel comfortable when youre not. I love that when you have a goal in your mind, you will give your everything to achieve that! Also so humble but like I want you so desperately to know how beautiful I think you are!! I enjoy your company a lot. Please don't be afraid of changes, I know that's such a mainstream thing to write for Taurus but I really do believe that maybe sometimes you need to be reminded that life can also begin at the end of your comfort zone.
  • Gemini: a guy and a girl from biology class, I am literally stunned at how much these people know. Eloquent fluffballs. I could listen to you spreading knowledge 24/7, make great jokes in my opinion and just kind of knows... everyone?? Get along with so many people, can be very chill but also full of energy when they're talking about things they are interested in. Also fun-fact kings and queens. Please remind yourself to stay loyal to your true friends, you may know many people with whom you get along with so well and for sure everyone is intersting in their own way, but it's very possible to feel lonely in a crowd. Your closest friends will always get you out of that and help you, I promise.
  • Cancer: a close friend of mine, literally the most caring person I've ever met. Actual comedians. I don't know I just straight up fell in love with your humour. All the Cancers I know have or had some extreme physical problems going on, please get well soon if you read this and you're also not feeling well. Mentally on the next level, strong and kind of unbreakable. Don't hide their feelings because they just know that when you bottle up your feelings it's never going to end well. They just get you and will be there for you no matter what. Please take care of yourself just as well as you do with your friends and family, you are a true blessing and it's definitely okay to rant or cry or just let it all out.
  • Leo: my english teacher and a guy I used to be close with, very often completely misunderstood and taken for granted, which can lead to unhealthy behaviour. Will make you feel great after a plain shit day. I strive to be this talented at just expressing myself or being confident, even if you just want the world to think you are confident when you're actually not. Cuddly queens and kings. Better not hurt their pride because it took them a lot of time to actually get to that level and in a world where people hate on you for loving yourself, to them it feels like, despite all their work, they are not worth of loving themselves. Please don't forget that although sometimes it's hard to look in the mirror and like what you see, there are caring and warm-hearted people who love you just the way you are.
  • Virgo: a girl in my class I simply adore, I always annoy you with my endless compliments. Kind of just in love with these down-to-earth and sweet people. Either super chill or worried a lot, I wish I could just hug you until you feel less stressed. Smol but strong beans you can learn a lot from. So reliable, I actually hate doing group projects and always want to do everything myself but since you share that opinion we created something I was really proud of and now we always do them together. Please remember that passion is something you shouldn't be ashamed of, you simply don't have to be because it's something you love and your needs are valid. Also dreaming big, it's possible, especially for you so why not?
  • Libra: a girl I recently got to know and am already completely amazed by, literal social butterflies who sometimes only know in hindsight how much they enjoyed the company of someone because they adapt so easily and it's rare to find someone where you can just simply be yourself. Love how they view life and that they make me want to talk more. Very open and you never feel excluded because they just know how to include everyone. Please don't forget to remind yourself who you truly are and not to lose yourself in another person, because there really is only one you no matter how good you are at adapting to literally every social situation, you are amazing and I want you to be comfortable as well.
  • Scorpio: my dad and my ex boyfriend's mom, two very caring peole in their own way. I always love how sharp their sarcasm can be. Can comfort extremely well when they want to. So many secrets and things to know about them that I can lose myself in them wanting to explore whats actually behind their shell. Teaches you life lessons. Please don't forget that humans aren't flawless and that's completely okay. You don't have to hold onto old grudges, communication is key and talking about these things, confronting these people who did you wrong will help you grow as a person.
  • Sagittarius: an old friend of mine, very cute people who get interested in so many things and they are so versatile and adventurous I absolutely love their lively nature. Memes™. Total dorks you can fall for in a second. Are actually the best partners to just talk to about anything because they will be interested and share their opinion with you. Please remind yourself that cutting off people can be a very wise decision and you don't have to keep up with everyones shit if that's just not what you're in for.
  • Capricorn: I am literally so attracted to these people it's unreal, although I kind of always think that they don't like me...... anyways, my bigger twin sisters are caps and they are humble souls who really had to fight for a lot in life sadly. So proud of you. Keep up with the hard work, you really deserve everything. So realistic and pure I have heart eyes. Supportive and extremely loyal. Will stand up for you if you need it. Straight face™ but still manages to make even the most serious people laugh. Please remind yourself to not overdo it with the work, take a day off to relax and let yourself go maybe, even if it's hard - with the right people you don't ever have to be afraid of being yourself.
  • Aquarius: my ex boyfriend whom I had a crush on for like 4 years, teached me great life lessons. Will always have a weakness for aquas, they just attract me so much, how much of a fluffy dork can you be tbh? Capacity of acceptance is incredible. So much fun to be with. Are kind of just good at everything? You can talk to them about anything, it won't feel weird, they won't question it and just talk to you about that topic. So friendly, an underrated trait in my opinion, just complete and simple friendliness you enjoy to the fullest. Please remind yourself to let people not only see your amazing shell but also your stunning core, there are people who love to talk about the same things you love and nothing about you is weird, you are special and I absolutely love it.
  • Pisces: a very sweet guy I've been texting with for the past months, very open minded and also have that sensitivity I strive to have. Very inspirational smol puppy. Actual daydreamers™, may be late to school but love deeply and would never neglect your love. Kind of hate almost everything that's planned out? (I'm sorry I just love to plan things out) will hug you no matter what. Does not fear to dream big, is very talented at artsy stuff in my opinion. Please don't forget that even if it seems hard, and yes our school system is kind of very bad,we get to have that education and your dreams will be reality if you work hard enough to achieve them. You have so much potential, please don't ever waste it.

I read way too much Malec fics and love them all. Then I thought, I should make a post that no one actually asked me for. All of these fics are work in progress.


Destiny Calls by clockworkswan (@swans-hooks-and-books )

(Imagine Malec in a fairytale or maybe in a world like LOTR’s. It’s just that good.)

Chapter: 11/?   Word Count: 109k   Rate: Mature

Summary: A Knights of the Round Table inspired AU.

When Prince Alec of Idris and his knights are tasked with finding the legendary Mortal Cup, they must risk venturing through the Shadowlands; home to many fearsome creatures, and downworlders.With the reluctant warlock, Magnus Bane as their guide, the quest soon becomes something more.A war is brewing in the Shadowlands. Dark magic has begun to call to creatures and mortals alike. A race to prevent the Cup from falling into the evil, exiled Lord Valentine’s hands adds even more danger to the prince’s quest.Loyalties are tested and hearts are swayed, but who will destiny call to?


Earth’s Mightiest Heroes (Or Something Like That) by @lecrit

(Read the story of world-class thieves and see how they suffer or fall in love or actually both.)

Part two of The Avengers Initiative. This will make no sense at all if you haven’t read part one. 

Chapter:11/?   Word Count: 73k   Rate: Mature

Summary: The thing is… Their plans have a history of not going accordingly so when they finally do, maybe they build a confidence a bit too quickly. Breaking Magnus out turns out to be indeed a formality. Selling the ruby, too. So what could possibly go wrong now?

In which our team of misfits has to deal with the consequences of messing with a dangerous man and again, everything goes according to plan. Or not.


I Won’t Let You Fall by @jezthemadficster

(Poetic, full of dance and emotions. Your heart might stop while reading.) 

Chapter: 6/?    Word Count: 75k    Rate: Mature

Summary: Alec Lightwood is the most beautiful and talented classically trained ballet dancer at the New York Arts Institute. He’s pressured by everyone in his life to carry the honor of the Lightwood name in the New York performing arts world, he feels trapped in a box. Magnus Bane is the most liked, respected, gorgeous, and innately talented hip-hop freestyle dancer who was accepted to the Institute on scholarship. He puts on the happy face for everyone around him, but inside he is broken and badly scarred by his past. When Alec finds himself wanting to branch out and add free movement to his final senior piece he seeks the help of the one person he’s been secretly drawn to for years. The one person he knows lives very much outside of the box.


In the Sin Bin by @otppurefuckingmagic

(I don’t even know hockey but I know my life would be meaningless without this masterpiece.)

Chapter: 15/25   Word Count: 160k   Rate: Explicit

Summary: As the goalie for the New York City Blazing Angels, Alec Lightwood thinks he’s finally found the team he can go all the way to the championship cup with. Then his agent and financial advisor are arrested for stealing their clients’ money, and Alec is forced to take on a side job doing endorsement deals, plus find a way to trust his new agent–Magnus Bane.

Alec hates Magnus the first time he sets eyes on him.

Magnus hates Alec more.

But they’re going to have to find some way to work together if Alec is going to make it to the championship.


Kiss With A Fist by clockworkswan (@swans-hooks-and-books )

(I don’t know how but this fic kills me everytime.)

Chapter: 17/?   Word Count: 124k   Rate: Mature

Summary: When agent Alec Lightwood is given his first kill hit, he doesn’t expect much trouble. Of course, he also doesn’t expect it to be a cheerful assassin who lands him in a whole load of trouble.
Enter Magnus Bane: an assassin turned thief who reluctantly teams up with Alec - and The Clave - after he pisses off a very important and powerful crime boss, Valentine Morgenstern.
In a world of violence and unjust laws, can the two put aside their differences and work together?
Aka: in which Alec is sent to kill Magnus, doesn’t, and then really wishes he had. Enemies to friends to lovers.


Magnus Bane’s School for Young Warlocks by Insomiak (@chairmanmeow-and-church)

(When you love a fic so much and you can’t write a proper comment on it because of your emotions.)

Chapter: 21/30   Word Count: 98k    Rate: Mature

Summary: Alec had never dreamt he’d be a father by the age of 25, let alone the father of a Warlock. He’s sure he can handle it alone, though. He doesn’t need anyone and neither do his kids.

(Or: Alec takes Max to Warlock School and finds himself falling fast for his teacher).


Set Me in Motion by @lemonoclefox

(Read the story of being a boyfriend of the wrong neighbor. But the right one is Magnus, so there is nothing to worry about.)

Chapter: 12/?   Word Count: 72k   Rate: Mature

Summary: Magnus spots a handsome stranger in the elevator of his apartment building – which wouldn’t be a big deal if said stranger didn’t turn out to be dating Magnus’s neighbor. In other words, his and Magnus’s paths end up crossing more than once, causing a friendship to slowly develop. Magnus should be complaining, but he’s not.


Take Me To Church by @m-aleciseverything

(My first Malec fic so I’m very emotional about it. :’) Are you ready for one of the slowest burn in history?)

Chapter: 18/?   Word Count: 201k   Rate: Mature

Summary: Alec is the acting head of the Institute trying to deal with the new pressures this title brings. A string of Mundane murders and strange demonic markings leads him to seek help from the nearest High Warlock, Magnus Bane. Upon meeting him, Alec realizes that his secret is at risk of being revealed. He tries to keep his growing attraction for Magnus hidden as best as he can. With the support of his sister, Isabelle, who is trying to find love herself; they both try to discover if they can let their worries go and accept love with open arms.


The Children of Merlin by @lecrit

(Imagine Auror Alec and shameless Professor Magnus!)

Chapter: 7/?   Word Count: 64k   Rate: Mature

Summary: Magnus Bane has everything he could have hoped for: a job at Hogwarts, a chaotic made-up family that he loves more than anything and the freedom of doing what he wants whenever he wants.

When his friends manage to drag him to a Quidditch game, he doesn’t expect it to change his life. For better or worse.

They call themselves the Children of Merlin and they are going to make his life a living hell.


Under New Management by Thessili (@highwarlockkareena)

(It just seems like a fake marriage because we all know Malec can’t be fake, ever.)

Chapter: 11/?   Word Count: 42k   Rate: Mature

Summary: Alec and Magnus never met each other. They didn’t join forces to fight the Circle when they attacked his lair, they never met to help Clary recover her memories.When the Clave refused to investigate the rumours about the rise of Valentine, Magnus, Luke, Raphael and the other Downworlders saw the problem coming for them. They banded together and rose up to stop Valentine.This story is set six months after his defeat.


Wild Life by crazyellephant

(I looove road trips and now I love ‘em more.)

Chapter: 3/?    Word Count: 39k   Rate: Not Rated

Summary: Alec Lightwood likes to go on road trips. He doesn’t pick up hitchhikers. But the one time he does, it’s Magnus. He’s in for an adventure or maybe even fall in love.


A Matter of Time by darcenator

(Imagine Malec as they are like Doctor & River Song.)

Part 2 of A Matter of Time Series. Must read Part 1.

Chapter: 4/?   Word Count: 19k   Rate: Teen and Up Audience

Summary

Excerpt from the Prologue: 

Magnus: “As a time traveler, Alec visited him in different eras of his life and yet time itself never distorted. Time obeyed in his presence. When he would eventually vanish back to his present, Magnus would discover new interests, spells, and pleasures in his absence until the next time they meet and time fixes itself again.

The ultimate curse of immortality: being left behind.”
____

Alec: “It’s agony being anywhere Magnus was not. Being immortal means having been abandoned by loved ones more times than he deserved and yet he would still choose Alec.

Time travel is cruel that way. Always going where Magnus can’t follow.”


Blue, Yellow and Green were our little cars by Realitysucks

(Gotta read if you wanna see cute little Malec in kindergarten.)

Chapter: 3/?   Word Count: 33k   Rate: Explicit

Summary: “For $200, Alec has to kiss a boy !” shouted Lily before raising her glass of vodka.

Alec stared at her with a frown. $200? he thought. It was a lot. He wondered with confusion how many books it would make and could already imagine them in his room. He really wanted those $200 now, but he didn’t know who to kiss and even less how.

He didn’t want to kiss a stranger, the only people whom he thought about were Jace and Magnus. His choice was quickly made, Jace was straight and had Clary whereas Magnus had no one.

Alec hoped he wouldn’t mind a little kiss.

For $200, he motivated himself before standing up under the encouraging and alcoholic cries of his friends.

anonymous asked:

Hi, when you make a podfic do you ask the author first or do you just make clear that the fic isn't yours and maybe link the written fic? See I'm interested in doing podfic but I'm worried I won't get replies from the authors so I won't get to make podfics of my favourite fics or any replies at all. I am pretty new to being someone in the fandom who creates content so I'm unsure about the "rules" surrounding these things. I know that you do podfic and I was wondering (pt 1)

(pt2) if you had advice on how to record and edit podfics, where is the best place to post them, what sort of program/equipment to use, etc, as I am not sure where I should start? Thanks very much, PodficAnon

Okay, well, I am SO VERY GLAD you asked me these things, Anon! Welcome to podficcing!!

1) ALWAYS ASK PERMISSION.

  •  If they say ‘yes’, do a dance and get to work. Posting back to the original work when you post.
  • If they say ‘no’, that’s end of discussion. There’s plenty of other fics that can be recorded, go to the next. Don’t be offended.
  • If they don’t respond, that’s the same as a ‘no’ for the simple fact you didn’t get a ‘yes’. Consent rules here.

2) I use the program Audacity to record in, which is free to download, and you will need the LAME plug-in in order to export to mp3 and other file formats. You can use iTunes to change them all to audiobook format, Right click> Get Info> Options> Media Kind> Audiobook. This will make it remember where a person is when listening.

3) I have a Snowball mic and Dragon podfilter. I record on Audacity and either read straight from my comp, or my Kindle.

I’ve been doing this a while, and I also do it professionally, so don’t think you’re required to start out with the more expensive equipment. I started off with a $20 Logitech desk mic. USB mics generally are the best for this purpose.

4) Before recording, you may want to hum or sing your scales to warm up. Your voice is a muscle like anything else. Do not strain it. Keep water on hand- and lipchap. You will get better and improve the more you do it, like any sport or skill, but do not push yourself. If you do not take care, you can ruin your voice and do long term damage. Do not.

5) When recording, when you make a mistake, just snap your fingers and redo the line. You’ll be able to see the snap in the sound file when you go back to edit, and you can do a speedrun edit, going straight to each of the spikes to make corrections. Then go back through and listen to the file beginning to end, making corrections as you go: awkward spacing, swallowing sounds, other mistakes you need to correct, lines you want to redo, etc.

6) Gonna reiterate the importance of Rule 1, because otherwise it’s theft. You have to get that ‘yes’. It may come months later, so already be working on something else, and it’ll be a nice surprise when they do come back and say yes. But they have to say yes. And you have to give the author full credit both in the podfic for having written it, as well as when you post on, say, AO3. Written by. Link to Text. Thank you again for letting me record this. Etc.

I keep a Podfic folder with subfolders: Asked permission, Given Permission, Maybe Podfic, where I keep downloaded copies of the fic in hardcopy, because it does happen that authors eventually remove their fics (generally due to theft of their fics by assholes). I always recommend people download their faves. Some of my podfics are now the only version of the fic still available online. Also, it helps with organization to move fics from one folder to another as permission is given.

7) You will have to have some website to store on. I pay for storage on mediafire so I’m not limited in the size of the file I can upload. But, I need that, and it’s like $20 a year, or not even that. Which helped me a lot when the Podfic Archive crashed and so many people’s works were lost because that was the only place they had them stored. Once you have them stored on a website like that, you can post them on AO3. Feel free to use any of mine as an example.

  • Podfic Cover
  • Title | Link to text
  • Written By (link)
  • Narrated By
  • Rating
  • Pairings
  • Tags
  • Length
  • Summary
  • Files: mp3 | m4b | m4a (or whatever you choose)

8) Wait to upload the podfic once you’ve finished it. Do not update a chapter at a time. It’s too easily consumed, and too easily/often abandoned.

9) Message the author that you’ve uploaded, link them to it if they’re curious or either for their convenience and use, and thank them again for allowing you to record their work.

That’s the gist of it. If you have any other questions, lemme know.

anonymous asked:

Hello. I'm pretty new to this blog so do tell if there's any mistakes. I would like to request for headcanons about mtmte Rodimus, Ultra Magnus, Megatron, Rung, Fortress Maximus, Whirl, Ratchet, & Drift with human s/o giving a plastic rose that symbolize their love for them (it won't rot away like a real one & remains the same) and something to remember them by. How does the bots react to this? Please and thank you!

Nope you’re all good! It’s within my character limit and a continuity I do plus holy shit this is so fucking sad so like expect angst?

{MTMTE}

Rodimus
~He doesn’t realize right away what it *actually* stands for, but he loves it because it’s something you gave him.
~He puts it in like a little glass case, kind of like beauty and the beast.
~He keeps it in his office, but on a back shelf so it doesn’t stand a chance of getting ruined. If the case breaks he could careless, if the rose gets hurt he would be devastated.
~When he gets stressed and you’re not around he finds that looking at it calms him down. He has something to return to when he gets finished and that is amazing.
~It’s thanks to that, that he realizes just what the rose was for.
~He basically fucks off from his office and finds you.
~He takes you to your habsuite and holds you tight, but gentle, to his chassis.
~He’s crying, but don’t point it out because then he’ll cry harder.
~Don’t worry he’ll explain what’s wrong when he’s done crying. Probably.

Ultra Magnus
~It goes over his head as well, just like Rodimus.
~He thinks it’s just a gift because he’s not thinking about you not being there.
~He thanks you happily and gives you a gentle kiss on top of your head.
~He takes it to his office and gets it a vase and sets it down in it.
~He’s glad it doesn’t need water or maintenance, except for maybe a dusting.
~He’s busy so he doesn’t have a lot of time for things he has to take care of, he often forgets to take care of himself in the first place.
~It really makes his day every time he looks down at it, it’s like a little piece of you to him.
~Oh.
~that’s when it hits him. It’s a little piece of you.
~He finds you immediately and cancels everything he has to do today that he can get away with cancelling.
~He spends the whole day telling you how much he loves you and how much you mean to him.
~He takes a lot more time out of work to spend with you.
~He finds himself asking himself which is more important and it’s always you.

Megatron
~He knows immediately what it’s for and fights himself on getting mad about it.
~He’s not mad at you he’s just mad at how short human existence is in relation to a bot.
~100 years to them is like 10 to a human and you may only have 60 or 70 years left. Or even less.
~He takes it and nods and says nothing as he walks away. You really think you made him mad.
~He locks himself in his habsuite and cries, helm in his servos.
~You’re life is so short and he can’t imagine why you want to spend it with /him/.
~He’s gone for the rest of the day, but the next he immediately finds you to apologize for his behavior.
~He picks you up and gently and carefully kisses the top of your head and tells you he loves the rose.
~He’s just so scared of the day he’ll lose you. 
~The next time you’re in his habsuite you see the rose in a vase that is your favorite color with a grey ribbon tied terribly around it.
~You giggle and fix the ribbon for him.

Rung
~He knows and he practically deflates as he takes it from you.
~”it’s beautiful…” He doesn’t want to think about you being gone but he knows he has to.
~He places it in a vase and puts in on his shelf with all his model ships, right next to the Lost Light model.
~He then scoops you up and sits down with you in his lap, he wants to enjoy your presence.
~He knows the day you go he will be devastated, but he also knows you’ll want him to move on. The rose is proof enough of that.
~He’s not sure how he’ll do it, but the rose will probably help.
~However, right now he doesn’t want to think about that, instead he settles for having you nuzzle against his neck and just talking.
~Later he’ll start up his hollomatter form for proper cuddles, but right now he doesn’t want to think about it, just you.
~Later he gives you something in return, a little model ship of your own with roses meticulously painted on it.

Fortress Maximus
~Two and two don’t click.
~He’s worse about it that Rodimus, he’s just not thinking about you dying. He doesn’t like to think about it.
~He takes it with a smile and comments about how cute it is and what a pretty color.
~He tells you he’s going to keep it with him forever, and he means it literally.
~It’s kept inside his subspace at all times, period.
~He often things about how close to his spark it is and how close you are to his spark as well, literally and figuratively.
~It’s months before it clicks and it’s probably a close call where you get seriously hurt.
~This is all he would have, physically, left of you and he knows his processor can play tricks on him.
~It’s time to panic.
~He holds you especially close to him and tells you he wants to spend more time with you and do more things.
~He wants every single day to matter.
~If you tell him every day already mattered, he would cry.
~Now you both have a habit of trading gifts every so often.

Whirl
~Nope, no way, not happening, none of that here fleshie.
~He’s panicking, he doesn’t want to think about this, he barely likes thinking about how defenseless you are.
~He almost refuses to accept it, but when he sees you upset he snatches it from you and mutters about it being stupid.
~He’s just /really/ bad at emotions, okay?
~And like he’s basically just learning that his emotions are still a thing and it’s confusing and kind of scary, give him a moment. 
~He almost resents the present when he sees it, it just reminds him of your mortality and that just really bums him out.
~He places it in a draw somewhere where he can find it later but doesn’t have to see it right now. 
~You’re alive right now and that’s all that matters, he can face that mountain when it’s not a dot on the horizon. 
~Sides he might end up dead before you, you never know!
~He spends a lot more time with you after that though. He realizes he doesn’t have a lot of time with you and so he has to soak up every. single. moment.
~He’s also just a tad bit nicer, though it’s hardly noticeable to most of the others.
~He’s not going to take having you around for granted anymore because he’s been faced with the fact that someday very soon you won’t be there. 

Ratchet
~”are you dying right now?” he snaps, almost defensively.
~He’s not ready for this and he’s not ready to think about it. 
~He also doesn’t want to think about it.
~He does take the present, he’s grateful you’d do that for him so he can have something when you’re gone.
~But he also feels compelled to tell you that he is old as dirt and therefore might go right along with you.
~He’s joke, or he’s trying to.
~He also apologizes for snapping at you as he picks you up and places you on his shoulder so you can place kisses to his cheekplates.
~He’s never really been so in love in his life and he’s afraid of what he’ll do once you’re gone.
~He’s not sure in his capability to actually move on and keep living his life without you.
~You are a huge part of his life now and he’s going to see if he can figure out how to help you live at least a little longer than usual.
~If you disagree he’d understand, he’s not going to force you to do anything.
~He spends a lot of extra time with you now and even hands off to First Aid a lot so he can take longer breaks and days off to spend with you.
~His work is /very/ important, but you are also more important.
~Asks himself often “What are you going to regret more? Not being there for something First Aid can handle on his own or not spending time with s/o?”
~The answer to that question is always the rose sitting in the vase on his desk.

Drift
~Like Rodimus he doesn’t catch it right away. He just thinks you’re giving him a gift and he loves it so much!
~It doesn’t take him long to realize and it hits him so hard he almost can’t breathe. Oh.
~He’s crying as he picks you up and holds you to his faceplates. He couldn’t stand losing you too.
~He cries and whimpers with you comforting him for almost an hour before he finally wipes his face off, takes in a deep vent, puffs out his chassis and nods.
~It’s time for a date!
~He takes you to Swerves and asks him for a drink for himself and a drink for you and some of the food he’s taken to keeping for you.
~He sits down at the back of the bar, placing you on the table in front of him and smiles.
~He’s just enjoying your presence and the light conversation going between the two of you. The bar isn’t particularly quiet, but it’s not obscenely loud. Comfortable.
~He’s not going to think about the rose, which is tucked into his subspace, right now. He’s just going to concentrate on you and this moment.
~After the date he takes you back to your habsuite and actually lets you fall asleep on his chassis, he hasn’t let you in forever.
~He doesn’t recharge that night and he knew he wouldn’t.
~His mind is racing with things he could try with you, how to make your short time seem like eternity.
~And he comes up with a lot of things and he’s not sure he can do them all, but even then that’s fine… At least he’ll have made the most of having you there with him.
~It starts the next morning, him asking you to join him for his yoga and then some light breakfast.
~The day is packed between spending time with you and his duties.
~He’s going to do everything with you.

anonymous asked:

Hi! I love your fics and i had this prompt that I really want written so i thought who better to ask than one of my favourite writers? No pressure to write this if you don't want to btw, but Todd said something about Simon holding the secret of how he got to be a daylighter dear to his heart cuz otherwise it would complicate things for Jace in S2B. So maybe play around the idea that some vamps are trying to get the ability too and Simon won't spill no matter what & risk endangering Jace? Thanks!

ur so SWEET i cant believe this omg here u go love

//

In some ways, the whole thing was Simon’s fault.

He’d known what would happen if word got out about his new ability to walk outside without disintegrating. Magnus had sat him down and, after a surprising moment of the warlock hugging him and smoothing his hair over like his mother, had told him the best and safest course of action.

“Don’t let people know.” He’d advised. “If you go out during the day, be sure that you aren’t anywhere too public. Simon, you have what some vampires would kill for. And don’t underestimate them, because they just might.”

“How would killing me help anything?” Simon had asked. He wanted to be angry at the idea of someone killing him for this, but he really couldn’t. Only a few months without sun had made him desperate. He wondered how many years would have to pass before he’d be willing to kill, too.

“Well, remember, they have no idea what made you a Daylighter. They might think that drinking your blood could give them the ability.”

“Could it?”

Magnus had shrugged, and looked almost defeated by not knowing. “Maybe.”

At first, Simon really had stayed sealed up in the boathouse during the day. He even moved his bed to a spot where the sunlight shone through the cracks between the old boards and soaked up the small slices of sunshine he could get.

But then a lingering coldness sunk into his bones, a permanent chill that he couldn’t get rid of. He tried jogging in place and pressing his body against the warm panels of wood and burying himself under blankets, but it wouldn’t go away. Clary found him, shivering in his makeshift bed and too exhausted to move.

So once again Magnus’ expertise was required.

“Is he sick?” Clary asked, sitting beside Simon on Magnus’ couch. He was wrapped up in two blankets, one that plugged into the wall and heated up, with a warm wet cloth draped around his neck. “Can he even get sick?”

“Simon how do you feel?” Magnus asked him gently, putting his fingers under Simon’s chin and lifting his face. “Does anything hurt?”

Simon shook his head. “Just c-cold.”

“We had a dog when we were younger,” Alec spoke up from where he was watching in the nearby armchair, “and for a few days it wouldn’t get out of its bed. It would hardly lift its head at all, really. Izzy cried about it so much until our parents broke down and took it to the vet. Anyways, it turned out that the dog was physically fine. But it hardly got to go out, because we don’t exactly live in a normal house with a yard, so it just kind of…shut down.”

“You had a dog?” Clary asked, sounding baffled. “Shadowhunters have dogs?”

“It was Jace’s. He named it Pollux.” Alec shrugged defensively. “Anyways, it could be like, Simon’s body knows it can accept sunlight now. And depriving himself of it is making his body react badly.”

Simon and Clary looked at Magnus for confirmation, and he was looking at his boyfriend like he’d just cured cancer. Like he was the smartest man alive.

“Okay, kiddo. I’m prescribing an hour of sunlight every day. The previous warning still stands, don’t do it anywhere where you’d be noticed by a vampire. Or someone who would inform a vampire. Okay?” Simon nodded, and Magnus leaned forward to press an affectionate kiss to his forehead. “Feel better.”

It took about two days for Simon to get his strength back, and evidently Alec was right. Simply sitting in the sun atop his boathouse made him feel refreshed and warm. And then, eventually, when his phone timer went off and the hour was up, he just stayed.

He couldn’t waste this gift. His body ached to be outside, to feel the sun against his skin. Laying inside in eternal coldness when he had the opportunity to be free wasn’t even life, it was just hiding.

He took small steps. One day he went to the Institute, then to Central Park, then to Times Square. He avoided the Hotel Dumort. He went with Clary to get coffee and with Luke to get lunch and with Jace to just walk around and talk, to listen to Jace vent and reciprocate when he felt frustrations.

He made it almost two weeks with no disturbances. But as all good things must come to an end, a vampire sat herself across from Simon at open mic night right in the middle of Maia’s song.

“Do I know you?” Simon asked, already on alert. “That seat is actually taken, by my friend Maia. She’s just singing right now, but she’ll be back soon and uh, she’s gonna need her seat back–”

“I’m going to tell you what I need from you.” She interrupted. “And you’re going to do it.”

“Well.” Simon said. “I’ll see if I can help.”

“How did you become a Daylighter?” She hissed. “Did Magnus Bane do it?”

“No.”

She must have seen the sincerity in his eyes, because she moved onto her next theory. “You’re around the Shadowhunters an awful lot. Is it something to do with them? Why would they help a Downworlder?”

Simon’s one year of high school theatre failed him. Though he shook his head and tried to act completely unaffected by the mention of the Shadowhunters, she could see something that proved he was lying. She latched onto it.

“What did they give you? Was it a potion or–or like a spell?”

“No.” Simon sighed. “Why do you care how it happened? If you want to suck me dry, just get it over with. Playing twenty questions won’t help anything.”

She seemed startled. “I wouldn’t drink your worthless blood. Raphael said that wouldn’t even work. But why would you mention that? Did you…drink a Shadowhunter’s blood?”

Simon’s chest tightened. This was wrong. He thought they’d just try to kill him, not go after Jace. Why would they go after Jace? Why would Raphael have told them not to go after Simon? In what world would it make any sort of sense for Jace to be punished after saving Simon’s life?

Was the universe capable of being that ruthless?

“I’ll tell you.” Simon said carefully. “But you have to promise not to kill me. Alright? I’ll tell you who I got it from, and you can go to him.”

She nodded immediately. While Maia sang with her silky, angelic voice Simon let himself be dragged out the side door and into the alley. The vampire pinned him against a brick wall that was hastily decorated with Christmas lights. At least it was a pretty place to die.

“There’s a Daylighter I met. He was traveling here, I don’t know where he was from. He had an accent.” Simon explained slowly. “I bit him. And when I woke up, I was invincible. He escaped, but I remember his name.”

“What was his name?” She whispered, and he could almost forgive her. She looked young, younger than him. She couldn’t have been older than sixteen when she was turned. He could see the hope shining in her eyes and the slight sense of hesitation. Maybe she didn’t want to be doing this.

“Pollux.” Simon said firmly. “And you can find him if you–”

The bite didn’t even hurt. It startled him, because he wasn’t expecting it to happen yet, but it didn’t hurt. It only took a minute for his knees to buckle and his back to slide down the wall, and he thought of Jace. He thought that Jace might be upset if he realized that he’d given Simon his blood for no reason.

But at least this way Jace was alive. Simon pictured Jace’s laugh, just two days before in Central Park, and the determination in his eyes when he talked about finding the Soul Sword and destroying it. He deserved to live over Simon.

“Just remember,” Jace had told him one night in the park, “no matter what happens, we’ll look out for each other. You, me, Clary, Iz, Alec, Magnus. All of us. They can’t get us if we look out for each other.”

His mind replayed that moment over and over while she drank from him, and then it abruptly stopped when she was suddenly yanked away from him. He opened his eyes and tried to decipher the hazy blur of golden and black that was suddenly in front of him.

“Simon?” Jace’s voice swam through the numbness. “Simon. Simon, can you hear me?”

“Mm.”

“Good, oh my God. Thank God. Come on, grab onto me. Let’s go to Magnus.”

He tried to get a grip on Jace’s arm, but his fingers couldn’t seem to grasp anything. Before he knew it, he was being hauled off his feet and his head was against Jace’s chest. The sound of his heartbeat was soothing enough to put Simon to sleep.

He woke up again in a bed, and Alec was sitting beside him with a look of disbelief on his face. “Honestly, how many times can you get yourself hurt?”

“A lot.” Simon managed to croak, and Alec rolled his eyes before whipping out his phone and texting someone, presumably Magnus. Simon remembered what happened, but not really falling asleep or passing out, whichever happened. “Oh G–. Did I drink from anyone?”

“No.” Alec assured him. “Magnus had bags. Jace actually tried to give you some, but you wouldn’t take it. Magnus said it was kind of amazing, actually. Because you were starving.”

Simon relaxed. “Good.”

Magnus and Jace entered and gave him a weird mix of hugs and scornful lectures about safety, which was greatly comforting. Alec and Magnus left, the latter muttering about hopeless baby vampires. Jace stayed, sitting on the edge of Simon’s bed.

“How’d you find me?” Simon asked through a yawn.

“I came to hear you sing. Maia said she didn’t know where you went, and your phone was still at the table. I knew something was wrong. Why was that vampire drinking from you?”

“She wanted to know how I became a Daylighter. And I lied and told her that drinking from other Daylighters worked.”

Jace looked up to meet his gaze, seemingly surprised. “Why didn’t you tell her the truth?”

“Because I didn’t want this to happen to you.” Simon shrugged. “I didn’t deserve your blood, and she definitely doesn’t.”

“You deserved it.” Jace said firmly. “God, Simon. You–you do these things for people, you nearly die for them, you refuse to drink from them when you’re literally starving. And you think you don’t deserve to be saved in exchange. Listen, you deserve good things. I’ve seen horrible people do horrible things, and you’re the opposite end of the spectrum. Trust me.”

Simon might’ve cried if he weren’t exhausted, but he could manage a weak grin. “Thanks. I like you too.”

“Don’t ever almost die for me ever again.”

“No promises.”

hilllyrioz  asked:

RFA+V reacts to MC getting into a fistfight for them and winning?? Like someone was messing with them and MC won't have any of that shit??! Bonus if she knows a type of martial arts :)

Fun fact : I accidentally broke someone’s nose one time

Jumin

  • „ I think Jumin is only succesful because he’s handsome.”
  • You we’re angry but well you guessed you could let that comment slide
  • “ Oh and he only gets these big deals because he sleeps with all these women”
  • Okay enough was enough
  • You grabbed their collar
  • “How dare you say that about Jumin?”
  • “ Pfft. What are you gonna do about it ?”
  • You just grinned and threw them over your shoulder
  • They landed flat on their back with an “unf”
  • “ Better think next time before you talk shit about Jumin.”
  • Well of course somehow Jumin somehow caught wind about that
  • Surprisingly he’s pretty proud of you and ruffles your hair
  • Also tells you to just call one of his bodyguards next time

Jaehee

  • „You know I bet Jaehee only got this position because she sleeps with the boss‘ son.“
  • WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY ABOUT JAEHEE
  • We all know Jaehee has a black belt in Judo
  • And she’s fully able to defend herself
  • But no one talks shit about Baehee
  • Well you charge fully at the person who just talked shit about your girlfriend
  • The other party didn’t even have the time to react as you punched them in the face
  • End of the story is that they end up with a broken nose and you with a bloody fist
  • Though we have to say the blood was not yours
  • And Jaehee’s kinda thankful but also very concerned because fist fights are dangerous
  • So she tells you to not do it anymore because she will do it if she deems necessary

Yoosung

  • „Why is this kid even at this Uni ? This is Uni is for smart people.”
  • They didn’t just call Yoosung stupid right?
  • “ Maybe he paid his way into the school.”
  • “ Hey you two. Don’t talk shit about people you barely know.”
  • “ That’s not your problem.”
  • “ Listen kids. You just made it my problem.”
  • Anyways this is the story about how you provoked two young men
  • And a fight started to break out just as Yoosung came out of the classroom
  • And just saw how you kicked up their ass
  • Well and to no surprise Yoosung is super excited after this
  • And asks you if you knew martial arts and how long you’ve learned etc.

Zen

  • “He’s not even that good of an actor. Just an attractive face. “
  • It was after a musical performance that someone said that
  • As always Zen had been very good
  • The comment pissed you off slightly
  • “ Bet he just got the lead because of that face.”
  • “ Excuse me but Zen has been praised highly by critics.”
  • “ So why isn’t he famous yet?”
  • You already balled up your hands
  • “ Listen up. Just because someone isn’t famous, doesn’t mean they’re necessarily untalented.”
  • “ Does he sleep with you to make you say that?”
  • Slap
  • Nobody talks shit about Zen
  • The other party was completely offended and tried to hit you back
  • It broke out into a huge fight but you still won
  • You kinda end up with a suspension of a month so you couldn’t enter the theater
  • You we’re sulking at home
  • And Zen just smiled when you told him the reason for the fight
  • And thought you we’re awesome for winning the fight
  • But also told you that there will always be haters and you should just ignore them

Seven

  • The only people who would talk shit about Saeyoung are probably Saeran and Vanderwood
  • And you probably shouldn’t fight those two
  • But you did anyways
  • It was good that you had a black belt in Taekwondo
  • But since Vanderwood had spy training
  • And Saeran was well Saeran
  • No one ever quite won
  • So you both ended up with bloody noses and bruises
  • And Saeyoung always treated your wounds
  • “ I kicked their butts”
  • “ Yes you did Y/N.” Saeyoung said

V

  • There are a lot of people who joke about how V’s photographs are selling better since he wen’t blind
  • And V’s probably not that much bothered about it
  • But you just couldn’t ignore a few individuals
  • And you had a bad day when they came to the exhibition
  • They made weird face and expressions at V, full well knowing he couldn’t see them
  • And you had told them to stop
  • But they didn’t
  • So you just pressed one of them against the wall
  • And the other had attacked you, trying to get you away from his friend
  • V was very concerened since he heard thumps and screams and didn’t feel your presence beside him
  • And in the end you just told him that you had taken care of a few things
  • And this is the story of how he never found out that you were badass
Baby, Won't You Smile For Me?

A/N: For Admin M at ragheeba ^__^ wHY SO LITTLE BAEK LOVE GUISE? i hardly ever get Baekhyun requests ._.

Pairing: You x Baekhyun

Summary: When you find him annoying when you first meet

“Yah. Hey, I’m talking to you! Why do you always ignore me?”

I rolled my eyes for the nth time that day before I took a deep breath through my nose, repeating the words through my head.

Don’t attack him. Whatever you do, do not hit him. You can’t afford to have something like that on your school record…

I tried to compose my nerves, but it was easier said than done. I had known Byun Baekhyun for all of one week, where he had been assigned to sit next to me for our math class on the first day of senior year, and already I was cursing our teacher for organizing such a seating plan. What had I done to deserve a plague like him?

“You don’t like me, do you?” Baekhyun said, sounding a little amused as he gave my arm a prod with his long, slim fingers. Mr Wu was practically sleeping behind his desk, meaning that the entire class was chattering instead of doing work like they were supposed to. Besides me, of course, my pencil scratching diligently across the surface of my notepad. Except right now I had it clenched tightly in my hand, wondering if I could cause some serious damage if I stabbed Baekhyun with it.

Keep reading

Why Taimi is awesome~
  • [Origin of Madness – at Twisted Marionette]
  • Taimi: Hi hi hi. Are you a friend of Braham's? I am. Or rather, I will be. Soon.
  • -
  • Taimi: Braham! There you are.
  • Logan Thackeray: Somebody care to tell me why this child was on the battlefield?
  • Braham Eirsson: Hey! I'm not a child!
  • Logan Thackeray: Not you. This asuran girl. I found her out there, trying to get to Scarlet's twisted marionette. Who does she belong to?
  • Braham Eirsson: Oh. Her.
  • Taimi: Help! Help! Save me from this creepy human!
  • Logan Thackeray: It's okay. I'm a Krytan Seraph. The kid's in no danger.
  • Taimi: Braham! Don't let him take me away! Please!
  • Logan Thackeray: Are you her guardian?
  • Braham Eirsson: Who me? Wolf's teeth, no! I've never seen her before in my life.
  • Taimi: Braham, you're so mean. Can't we just go home now?
  • Logan Thackeray: Listen, buddy. I don't know what your game is, but you better get this kid to safety. She's got no business on a battlefield.
  • Braham Eirsson: What? I swear I've never seen her before in my life.
  • Braham Eirsson: Hey! Where's he going? You're not my responsibility!
  • Taimi: It's okay, Braham. You can take me home now. I live in Rata Sum.
  • Braham Eirsson: Huh? What?
  • Taimi: Where do you live? Maybe we could go there instead.
  • Braham Eirsson: No. You found your way here. You can find your way back.
  • Taimi: Fine! Here I go. By myself. Off into the big city. You'll probably never see me again, Braham.
  • Braham Eirsson: Good luck, kid.
  • -
  • Logan Thackeray: What does a little squirt like you know about Scarlet, anyway?
  • Taimi: As it so happens, I know a lot. I've been studying her for months. I came to meet her, but she didn't show up.
  • Marjory Delaqua: To meet her? Why would you want to do that?
  • Taimi: Because she's brilliant, of course. My theory is that she knows something about the dragons, and that's why she's building an army.
  • Logan Thackeray: Your theory, huh? You don't think she's just a big ol' meany?
  • Taimi: Do you always talk like a four-year-old?
  • *Burn Logan BURNNN*
  • --
  • [Edge of the Mist]
  • Braham Eirsson: What's your story anyway, Tiny? How does a little thing like you get into such big trouble?
  • Taimi: It's Taimi. And I'm a progeny prodigy. I've got important people fighting for the right to be my teacher.
  • Braham Eirsson: Important people, huh? Are they real people, or just big-eared figments of your overactive imagination?
  • Taimi: They're real, but they all want to tell me what to learn. I'd rather be like Scarlet and pick my own courses.
  • Braham Eirsson: Wolf's tail, girl! Don't be too much like Scarlet, okay? One's way too many.
  • -
  • Taimi: Braham? Are we still going to be friends when we get back?
  • Braham Eirsson: Wait—are we friends now?
  • Taimi: I think so. You don't boss me around as much as other adults. And when you ask a question, you let me answer it.
  • Braham Eirsson: Well, I'm friends with Frostbite and he can't even talk. So yes, Tiny. We'll still be friends.
  • Taimi: Not if you keep calling me "Tiny."
  • -
  • Taimi: Braham, will you tell me a story while we wait?
  • Braham Eirsson: After you ran off on me? And all the abuse you heaped on me since we got here? I get plenty of that back in Cragstead.
  • Taimi: You don't spend much time around asura, do you? We only abuse people we like. Or those we're trying to improve.
  • Braham Eirsson: Fine. I'll assume you like me. Ahem! "Once upon a time, there was a brave and handsome norn named Braham..."
  • Taimi: Aww, I've heard this one already. From you. Twice.
  • --
  • Braham Eirsson: Did you get in trouble for roaming the camp?
  • Taimi: No. Yes. Zojja gave me extra calculations as a punishment, and I never got to see Scarlet.
  • -
  • Taimi: Hey, Braham.
  • Braham Eirsson: Uh-huh.
  • Taimi: You wanna hear about the new aetherphaser I invented for my golem? I modeled it after Scarlet's tech.
  • Braham Eirsson: Uh-huh.
  • Taimi: It works just fine, but I have to keep adjusting the gorometer.
  • Braham Eirsson: Uh-huh.
  • Taimi: I had to shave down the minious array wheel in order to get it to fit on Scruffy, but I got it.
  • Braham Eirsson: Uh-huh.
  • Taimi: Next, I'm gonna make him a panmetric listening device so he can warn me in advance if someone's sneaking up on me.
  • Braham Eirsson: Uh-huh.
  • Taimi: Hey, Braham.
  • Braham Eirsson: Uh-huh.
  • Taimi: I like you because you're big and dumb.
  • Braham Eirsson: Uh-huh.
  • Braham Eirsson: (laugh) Shut up!
  • Taimi: (giggle)
  • --
  • [Gates of Maguuma]
  • Taimi: That structure is unstable. It would be unwise for us to go in. Scruffy's scan confirms that it won't support all our weight.
  • Taimi: According to my calculations, the most efficient combination would be you, Marjory, and Kasmeer. The rest of us can wait out here.
  • Rox: Did she just call us fat, Braham?
  • Braham Eirsson: Yup, she sure did.
  • Taimi: Facts are facts. The three of us together weigh as much as nineteen Kasmeers.
  • Kasmeer Meade: Great, I'm a unit of measurement.
  • --
  • Kasmeer Meade: That gap is too large. I can't get us across from here.
  • Taimi: Have no fear. The option to have Scruffy toss us over is still—
  • Rox: No.
  • --
  • [Prosperity’s Mysterious Room]
  • Taimi: Look, look, look! This is a historical find!
  • Marjory Delaqua: Careful, now. You'll pop a gasket.
  • Taimi: She hasn't been here in a very long time. This—oh, and that! Great glarrgh!
  • Marjory Delaqua: Language.
  • Taimi: Sorry. I didn't know you spoke ettin.
  • --
  • [Entanglement]
  • Taimi: Okay. It's all yours. Use the console to fry some Inquest.
  • Braham Eirsson: It isn't going to blow up in our faces, is it?
  • Taimi: Don't be silly. The chances are so slim as to be negligible. About..oh, fifty-three percent. I've tagged us all nonhostile.
  • --
  • Taimi: Hold on. Activating defenses.
  • Marjory Delaqua: You're absolutely sure this won't kill us?
  • Taimi: Absolutely. I'd give it a solid fifty-three percent chance.
  • Marjory Delaqua: I beg your pardon? Maybe you shouldn't—
  • -
  • Kasmeer Meade: It's...beautiful.
  • Marjory Delaqua: And we're still alive. That's a plus.
  • Taimi: Of course we're still alive. I was joking about the the fifty-three percent. It was more like seventy-eight.
  • --
  • [The Dragon’s Reach]
  • Taimi: Don't touch anything!
  • Councillor Phlunt: Progeny, do not speak to your elders in such a tone! I won't have it.
  • Taimi: I thought you'd never get here. Did you stop off at the Dead End for a pint and a pie or something?
  • -
  • Taimi: Well, Councillor Phlunt, I'm sorry to report that I've completely wasted your time and the waypoints will now be destroyed by Mordremoth.
  • Councillor Phlunt: What?
  • Taimi: Just kidding. My patent-pending waypoint recalibration device is now complete.
  • -
  • Taimi: I've checked and double-checked the settings on everything. I'm 59.6 percent certain nothing will blow up in our faces. Don't worry.
  • --
  • [Credit: GW2 Wiki]

anonymous asked:

jeremy takes jean home during the summer because it's not that he doesn't trust him alone on campus it's just that he totally doesn't trust him. so he tells him family in advance not to overwhelm him and that jean isn't usually one for a conversation. he gives jean his room so he's sleeping on the couch and he argues jean on it until he falls asleep. then a couple of weeks in, he's sat with them at the table and jeremy is laughing loud at his sisters who are bickering and his parents who

just look done with their shit but when he looks at jean beside him, he’s wide eyed and in thought. he doesn’t press on at that moment but later he goes to grab clothes and sits on my his bed and watches jean reading at the desk before asking “what were you thinking about at dinner?” and jean pauses and looks up “what do you mean? ” “well you kind of had this look on your face” and jean gives an unamused look at his exaggeration but he still answers “i was just thinking about your family,”

they’re wild right?“ "not that it’s just… that’s how a real family interacts. no judgement” and jeremy just huffs out a laugh bc this fucking kid will be the death of him

THESE ASKS ARE GOING TO BE THE DEATH OF OKAY 

But okay like Jeremy’s family, for serious. It’s not clear how Jean’s family situation was before they sold him but I think that act says enough. Jeremy probably has like a HUGE, UNCOMFORTABLY LARGE FAMILY that he bickers with all the time but loves to death but he sees how much discomfort Jean has when with them and instinctively stays with him in secluded places where Jean can relax. Jeremy’s anxiety isn’t great either so he knows all the good places to take a breather and they spend a lot of time in the attic where Jeremy tells Jean about his childhood and take walks out to the park where they can toss an exy ball around.

And the kids around the neighborhood. God they fucking love Jeremy. He’s lived in that neighborhood all his life and Jeremy knows the kids won’t judge him so they always have a great time together. Jean is pretty astounded by how loud the kids are but actually enjoys teaching them how to play exy and the bright smiles they give him when he does something cool. He feels so admired and appreciated and they kids all go “WHOAAAA” when he pulls off a complex move and it just. Fills him with warmth.

“You’re so cool,” one boy tells him, tugging on Jean’s sleeve. “Millie says you and Jeremy won championships. That means you’re a champion. How can I be a champion?”

And Jean doesn’t want to tell him about learning how to dodge the blows. How to work so hard under the hope that maybe he won’t be bleeding by the end of the day. How he can see every movement because he’s trained himself to react to every threat. He swallows it down, not without breaking a sweat, and says, “You have to really want it.” The desire to live. “More than anything.” The desire to win.

And the boy stares at him like the stars have opened up before him. Jeremy watches it unfold and barely notices when a thirteen year old checks him into the grass.

AND JEREMY’S SISTER (Millie) YO she’ll be all up in Jean’s face like “I heard you were French.” And sends out subtle middle-schooler flirting vibes that are mostly jokes like winking at him and telling him he has pretty hands and she and Jeremy end up tussling EVERY TIME IT HAPPENS and by like two months in Jean joins in and starts talking to her in French really seductively but it’s shit like “What’s for dinner tonight” and “Your brother has no fashion sense” and Jeremy is like “STOP FRENCHING MY SISTER” and it’s fun for the whole family.

But yo….. board games…… Trivial Pursuit and Monopoly. Somebody breaks out scrabble and Jean uses this horrible Polish word with like 10 z-s and Jeremy’s dad is ready to fucking fight. Family movie nights. Trips to the amusement park and Jean and Millie get lost together and have to navigate their way out of a corn maze. Jean takes Jeremy to a lake and they spend night looking out and contemplating how much has changed. Jeremy puts an arm around Jean’s shoulders once things start getting deep but they end up just falling asleep like that and Jean wakes up the next morning in a field by a lake leaning against a sleeping Jeremy. 

Just….. Jean at Jeremy’s for the summer.

The General Rules Of Existence

Artist: scofflawn (Art here!)
Beta: Eilie (I’m not so sure I should put their email here, but I’m sorry I’m so bad at keeping in touch!)
Word count: 14k
Rating: R
Warnings: slight smut
Summary: Dan is a complete mystery and Phil is background noise, And everyone just wants to escape the dead-end town they grew up in. High-school-ish AU.
Author’s Notes: Thank you for your patience, I hope this somehow makes up for my months of absence <3

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anonymous asked:

some domestic solangelo Christmas fluff please (P.S. I love your blog 😄)

Holiday Surprises

Summary:  Between having finally spent Christmas eve together with one Will Solace after not getting much time for each other, he thought that it couldn’t get any better. He was wrong. Nico’s Holiday just keeps getting better

Hello, Anon! I hope you have a good celebration this year! Thank you for loving my blog!

It’s still about half a day before Christmas eve and yet Nico can’t help but feel a bit anxious. Yes, Will did promise to be home in time for them to welcome the 25th together but knowing how the other’s schedule works, Nico can only hope that no interruptions would happen this time. It did. unfortunately been inevitable before during Halloween and Thanksgiving when Will had been tangled into his work that they ended up not celebrating both holidays together.

This time, Will who actually works overtime for the past weeks had promised that they would be celebrating together. The doctor had been clearing up his schedule for both Christmas eve and the 25th itself and pulling out favors just so he really won’t have to work those days. And Nico knew that as much as he can, Will keeps his promises.

Still, the anxiousness didn’t ease up a bit.

Nico knew by then that he needed a distraction. Something, anything that can take his mind away from too much thinking or else he’ll end up stressing himself too much.

And that’s when an idea came to mind. With a determined mind, he set off to work.


“Nico? I’m home”

There was no answer.

Taking his shoes off, Will walked further inside and went straight to their bedroom thinking that maybe Nico had already fallen asleep, it was pretty late after all. He didn’t bother turning the lights on since he perfectly knew where to maneuver inside their apartment even under the dark.

However, Nico is not in their room. Strange.

With a slight frown, Will placed his things on the small table by their bedside and went out of the room. Maybe Nico had fallen asleep while waiting for him inside their kitchen like he would occasionally end up doing. With Will’s supposed dinner already gone cold and Nico already deep into slumber, with his head prompt up on the table, both his hands used as a makeshift pillow.

To Will’s immediate worry, Nico’s not in there too. Taking his phone out of his pocket, Will dialed the number he knew by heart and waited for it to start ringing. Not even half a minute later, he found Nico’s phone on the couch.

Knowing that the other won’t leave their apartment without his phone, Will knew by then that Nico’s there. Maybe, the other had fallen asleep in a corner again? It did happen on more than one occasion. With a quick stride to the light switch, Will finally decided to turn them on.

What greeted him is not something he had expected.

Because behold, what stands as his view right now is a living room filled with Christmas decors. And the tree, the very same Christmas tree they had bought two weeks ago after their last one lost its durability, is actually standing and fully decorated with the rare angel piece holding a harp sitting on top of it. There were also decorations, simple and yet still sending out that Christmas vibe all around their small living room.

Will can’t help but smile warmly at the gesture knowing the fact that as much as Nico likes celebrating Christmas, decorating for said holiday is one of his least favorite activity. Usually, Will had to talk to him with promises and bribery just so he would help set their tree up.

But this time, he had done the decorating himself.

Using the knowledge he had of Will talking nonstop on how their apartment would look this year. The blond didn’t bother hiding the soft chuckle from escaping his lips. And Nico had acted uninterested by that time too.


To his relief, Will finally found the other on their small balcony. Nico was sitting on that secondhand couch they had gotten together from a thrift store. The one that ended up in their balcony since it didn’t fit quite well inside their apartment.

Will stepped forward, about to gently shake Nico awake when he noticed a small table filled with bits of his favorite food and a bottle of wine at the side. Will knew that Nico isn’t one for romantic gestures, that’s more his job but when Nico does something, he would always make sure that he’ll have Will swooning.

And he is yet to fail his attempts.

There are times when Will would question how much he deserved someone like Nico. Today is definitely one of those times.

With a gentle smile sent to the other’s sleeping figure, Will decided to complete the whole set up himself. Gathering an extra white bedsheet from their cupboard, he had placed one on the table before rearranging the food back and placing a few holiday themed candles at the center. He then lit those up before deciding that now’s a good time to wake the other up.

“Nico? Baby, you need to get up or you might end up having a stiff neck” Will gently shake the other awake.

With eyes still half closed and voice still groggy, Nico spoke “Will? What time is it?”

“Around ten thirty” Nico’s eyes suddenly widened.

’“That late but… Oh. I’m so sorry, Will. I had fallen asleep” Nico sounded really guilty as he looked at Will “I was trying to prepare something nice for when you get home and I just intended for a quick nap but I must not have heard my alarm and I’m really sorry. I’m almost done preparing, though”

“I finished the rest of the preparations, don’t worry about it. Okay?” Will, who felt really warmed by Nico’s sweet gesture had gently cupped Nico’s cheeks and pulled the other along for a shared kiss. “I saw what you did and thank you. I know how much you hated decorating but you still did for me”

Nico smiled “I guess decorating isn’t that bad after all. I haven’t placed the gifts under the tree yet, though”

“We can do that tomorrow” Will hummed “But for now, why don’t we just sit here. We can celebrate here and stare up at the sky. It’s a lot more beautiful tonight”

Nico smiled at the prospect “And point at stars because you’re a dork and you’ll obviously make me do it with you. But, can we do a lot of cuddling with it? That would be great, you know. I miss cuddling with you”

Will sighed heavily before engulfing the other in a hug. “Sorry, I’ve been really busy these past weeks. I promise you, I’ll try clearing some of them out so we can spend more time together”

“That’s good and all but I mostly want you to clear time for yourself too” Nico lead the other back towards the couch and the two sat comfortably side by side. With Nico’s head rested on Will’s shoulder.“You’ve been exhausting yourself, Will. You haven’t had any decent amount of rest in weeks. I’m just… I’m really worried”

“I’m sorry” Will sounded really genuine as he intertwined their hands together “It’ll be over soon, I promise. Just a few more weeks and I’ll be back to my normal schedule”

“Hm. Better be meaning it, Will Solace” Nico let out a small yawn “You still haven’t told me the reason why you’ve been working your ass out. I know for sure that we’re not running behind on bills even if the novel I submitted won’t get that much positive response in the market”

“I’ll tell you about it soon, Okay? And your novel would sell, have faith” Will gently run his hand on Nico’s locks making the other moan a bit in appreciation before letting out another yawn. “Are you still sleepy?’”

“A bit. How much longer till Christmas?”

“Around half an hour more”

“I can stay awake that long as long as you snuggle with me?”

“I’ll go get a blanket”

Nico hummed happily “And hot cocoas. The wine can be for later”

“Of course. With whipped cream and topped with mini marshmallows for you” Will placed a quick kiss on Nico’s forehead before heading back inside.


When Nico woke up the next Christmas morning, he had half expected to see Will already grinning at him while wearing one of his ugly Christmas sweaters and playing carols at full volume. The other half expected the smell of freshly baked holiday-themed cookies and the sound of Will’s melodic whistling of Rockin’ around the Christmas tree.

However, there was none of those. If ever, the house is actually too silent for his liking.

Did Will get an emergency call?

Nico finally decided to get out of bed, having been undoubtedly carried by his husband the night before. Going straight to the bathroom to at least freshen up a bit, he saw a little note posted

“Good morning, Sunshine. Merry Christmas. Dress up a little, will you? Doesn’t have to be fancy cause you look good in everything. I’ll be waiting for you outside”

-Love you always and forever

“Where are we going?”

“Sunshine, if I tell you now it’ll ruin the surprise” Will steered to the left “We’re almost there anyway. Just a few more minutes”

“Fine. I believe you” Nico then focused on the road and found himself bing deeply immersed that he didn’t even notice their car had stopped until Will gently tapped his shoulder.

“Come on, we’ll have to walk a bit before we get there”

With a sigh, Nico followed but wasn’t really focused on his surroundings up until he heard Will’s voice behind him.

“We’re here”

Here? Where? Nico finally focused on where they are only to have his eyes looking wider than how they usually were. With the given situation, Who wouldn’t?

After all, he found himself standing near the front gate of an orphanage.

“Will? What’s going on?” Nico asked, his gaze wavering towards the other. “Why are we here?”

“I had been thinking, about your suggestion” Will spoke rather seriously “and I think you’re right. Maybe, this is the best time for us to adopt. We’re not getting younger”

Nico looked at the other in shock. A few months ago, Nico had bought up the idea of them adopting kids of their own which Will, shockingly had turned down stating that with the current living state that they have, adopting a child isn’t the best idea. Nico felt by then that it wasn’t the real case but decided to trust Will’s judgment.

“But, you said that adopting wouldn’t be the best idea for now” Nico looked at the other, face filled with confusion

“It’s not that I don’t want kids. I would love us to have a complete family it’s just that… when you suggested it, you’re kind of in a bad timing?” Nico raised a brow obviously unimpressed but still daring for Will to continue.

“Sorry, did I word it out wrong?” Will sighed as he reached to grab both of Nico’s hands and intertwine it with his “The thing is, I actually kind of want to be the one to bring the idea to you?”

“That is not the kind of answer I had been expecting” Nico frowned slightly “Where’s the difference in me suggesting and you bringing it up?”

“Nothing!” Will gently pacified “It’s just, the reason I had been going on overnight shifts is because I had been saving up”

“For what?”

“…A house of our own”

“Please explain”

“I want to make you feel as comfortable as possible, I did, after all, promised you a good life” Will explained “And sure, with our current state, the apartment is fine but the kind of environment it has isn’t really ideal for the family we’ll plan on having”

“But a house, Will? Why haven’t you told me? I could have helped you with it” Nico spoke a little hurt “We’re supposed to do things together, help each other out but I feel like you wanted to carry the burdens alone and that’s not how things are supposed to work”

“I know that and I’m sorry for keeping things a secret. I just really want to give you a surprise”

“I am indeed surprised. Don’t get me wrong, I like the house. It’s one of our dreams, after all, and I wouldn’t mind if we start living there” Nico explained “But the apartment would have still worked with a few adjustments. It’s not that bad to raise a family there”

“I know that too but I would feel more comfortable with a place we can call our own. A place much safer and secure”

“Okay, I get your point. But, still, why haven’t you told me?”

“It was supposed to be my birthday gift for you, but there’s been a bit of change in my plans after you brought up the idea if us having kids”

“Sometimes, I get too overwhelmed with the amount of affection you’re giving me” Nico smiled and reached out to give the other a quick kiss on his cheek “I have to admit, a house and the possibility of having kids of our own are the best gifts ever. I’m sorry I don’t have a gift that can compare”

Will gave his lover a deep kiss before pulling out, “You’re still the best gift that has ever happened to me”

“How modest. Quite indeed my ideal man” Nico grinned “But, I’m wondering, why are we here on Christmas day? Don’t tell me you’ve gone through the whole processing for this too and we’re actually here to choose a child?”

“I wish but that isn’t the case” Will had let out a chuckle “I figured we could get some getting used to with a few kids? See where we’re good at and the things we fail with? So we can adjust ourselves and see where we’ll go from there?” Will explained “So, I kind of made a few arrangements so we can spend Christmas with the kids here”

“That is…”

“A bit too overwhelming?”

“Yes, but we’ve already established that you’ve exceeded my expectations. Anyways, it’s fine” Nico smiled “It’s one reason why I love you anyway”

Will smiled as he reached for Nico’s hand,

“Shall we go in?”

Not much of a domestic vibe but I hope you like this, anon!

bleep0bleep  asked:

you broke my poor heart with earnest liam trying to fix his dad stiles and wanting to get scott to help but he promised stiles he wouldn't tell and it's all messed up and wrong but liam helped stiles through the panic attack and helped him get through it but they won't know what to do next and stiles is scared and liam is scared BABIES AAAA AAA AAA *collapses in your askbox* *also showers you with love and appreciation*

WHY DO YOU THINK I HAD TO END THE FIC THERE?? OF COURSE THEY WON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO NEXT!! EVERYONE SHOULD BE SCARED!

Seriously, though, I considered too many different endings. 

(if you are confused, read this first.)

Does Stiles drag himself back together, force everything down, and then demand that Liam keep quiet about it? Does Liam agree because Stiles points out everyone is too busy, it doesn’t matter, Scott can be distracted right now. Or because the force of Stiles’ glare is just as effective as Scott’s? Or maybe because he wants it to be alright. He wants to believe Stiles when Stiles says this was just a temporary thing, that he’ll give over it (most PTSD symptoms decrease naturally over six months, Liam. Stiles assures him. I looked it up. I’ll be fine. It’s fine. Just ignore me.)

(and, god, Liam wants to believe that. He wants to believe that for all of them.)

But, he doesn’t, not really, and he has his mouth open to argue when Stiles catches his eye and his eyes go flat and dark and Liam was there, didn’t know, but he’d heard and-

“This isn’t the first time,” Stiles says and the words sound like he’s confessing but his voice is hard. “It’s been my fault before.”

Stiles pats Liam on the shoulder a hair too hard to be casual but he’s gone the next moment and-

Liam doesn’t tell.

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anonymous asked:

W/r to Bellarke, most of me really wants them to become properly canon at the end of season 4, because the slow burn would be oh so delicious, but there's a smaller (read: louder) part of me that wants Bellarke like right this minute (i.e this season), but I worry it won't be as satisfying? Clarke still working through her grief etc? Plus there's the insy matter of her having not even acknowledged any romantic feelings for Bell. When do u personally envisage them coming together? And how?

I totally agree that if Bellarke starts to happen (read: anything more than what we’ve gotten already–lingering touches and Looks– plus an acknowledgment from Bellamy that he’s got some Maybe Feelings for her) this season, it won’t be satisfying for me.  I’m a little leery of the writers right now with all their “Clarke has to mourn Lexa; she can’t move on right away” talk mostly because they said the exact same thing when Finn died, and then Clarke was kissing Lexa (the woman who sentenced him to die) eight goddamn days later.  Yeah, she said she wasn’t ready, but…I don’t buy her even being attracted to anyone barely a week after she killed the boy she supposedly loved.  But that’s a whole ‘nother can o’ worms.  

Anyway, I do think (read: hope) that the writers will treat Clarke’s relationship with Lexa more seriously than they did her relationship with Finn, if for no other reason than they seemed more invested in Clarke/Lexa than they ever did in Clarke/Finn, and they clearly like Lexa as a character much more than Finn.  So that’s a point in their favor and I am cautiously but warily optimistic that they will actually give Clarke time to work through her loss.  

I do think 3B will start to lay serious emotional groundwork for eventual bellarke, though, because 3x02 and 3x05 happened– and in a season with so much corner cutting thus far, leaving in an entire episode of “Bellamy slowly loses his mind at the thought of Clarke being in danger” as well as their exchange in 3x05– even though (say it with me, folks)–THEY COMPLETELY AVOIDED HAVING ANYONE REMEMBER THAT IT HAPPENED FOR THE NEXT THREE EPISODES is highly significant.  While I firmly believe that Bellamy in 2x16 would have said “I love Clarke but not like that” and Bellamy post 3x05 would be all “What no I don’t love her I mean sure I’d die for her but not like that and also I’m mad at her why are you looking at me like that,” they’ve done a good job of showing his slow slide into Clarke Feelings Town over the course of this season.  3x02 was probably the closest he came to admitting that yeah, he’s got a Clarke Boner in his heart, but then 3x03 happened and he got set way back.  I expect he’s going to have Other Shit to deal with in the immediate future, mostly Octavia-related, but I suspect by the end of the season we’re going to see some sort of admission from Bellamy that his feelings for her are Real and A Lot– maybe not to Clarke herself, but I think we’re going to get confirmation that Bellamy is in Loves Clarke Town, Population Him.

But then there’s the problem of Clarke’s feelings, because she loves him, of course, but not romantically.  Bellamy also threw a lot of awful things in her face in 3x05– some of them true, some of them not– and I know I’ve focused a lot lately on how Clarke showing up to give him orders that episode were his worst fears come to life, but those things he said to her?

Those were her worst fears.  

Think back to how Roan needled Clarke about abandoning her people.  We got some excellent silent acting from Eliza there, where you realize she is worried they don’t want her anymore.  She’s worried that her people (and I don’t think it’s a stretch to say Bellamy is foremost in her thoughts when she thinks about “her people”) resent her for leaving.  She’s also been running since 2x16 because she can’t face them for what “she” did, but there’s also the fact that Bellamy was at her side in Mount Weather and Clarke knows exactly how much he gave up so she didn’t have to do it alone.  She even tells him that in 3x05: “I need the guy who wouldn’t let me pull the lever by myself.”  She is well aware of the burden she placed on him by leaving, but she comforted herself by telling herself that Bellamy was strong enough without her.   She can’t bear the alternative: that he isn’t, and that by leaving she hurt him.

So when Bellamy accuses her of leaving her behind, of using him, of giving him orders and not caring about him, she was caught off guard because of the moment they shared in 3x02, because Bellamy’s smile in the subway station seemed like confirmation that he didn’t resent her and that she would be welcomed back. Clarke put those worries behind her and then when she sees him again Bellamy throws every single thing she’s brooded over for the past three months at her, his voice breaking in pain.

And Clarke shuts down.  I am endlessly annoyed that nobody brings this up after 3x05 (seriously I manage to work this gripe into every goddamn meta I write because it’s so glaringly “we’re trying to avoid love triangles” obfuscation and you’re better than this, show) but I do think it was on purpose.  Lexa was a safe choice for her, because with the exception of Emerson, Lexa supported Clarke’s choices and was constantly reassuring her she’d done what was right.  Clarke was hiding in Polis, and I’m not saying her feelings for Lexa weren’t real, but note that it took threat of total war to get Clarke to even consider facing her people (read: Bellamy) again.  She’s terrified of seeing him, because she thinks she’s lost him.

Clarke has already lost so many people: her father, Wells, Finn, and now Lexa.  She thinks Bellamy (the person she’s trusted through everything) hates her.  He doesn’t, of course, because you can’t hate someone you love as much as Bellamy loves Clarke, but he is fucking furious with her.  She’s going to be so fragile when they meet again, so full of fear that she’s lost him completely.

She hasn’t though, and I think the upcoming Blake Sibling Showdown is going to change things because Bellamy will start to turn his anger inward– that’s how he copes, after all.  By hating himself.  I think Bellamy letting his anger towards Clarke go will help her put herself back together, because right now she needs to know she isn’t alone.  Bellamy will be there for her, maybe reluctantly, maybe frustrated and confused because Lexa was their enemy and Clarke still loved her, but he can’t just watch her be in pain.  He couldn’t in 3x05 and he won’t in 3B, and I think that will help Clarke a lot.  I also think Clarke is going to have some serious work to do in order to unlearn the lesson the Ground has taught her, which is the people she loves die.  Once Clarke learns that Bellamy is in-love-with-a-capital-L with her, she’s going to push him away.  She wants to keep him safe and loving her is pretty much a death sentence, so I foresee some rough times ahead.

But they’ve been saying all goddamn season that Love is the Key and Love is the Flaw in ALIE’s code, and I think Clarke is going to end the season with a choice: stay in the City of Lights with Lexa, the woman she loved and lost, free of pain but also free of humanity and love, or destroy the City of Lights and return to the man who loves her.  

Clarke’s going to have to decide that fear and pain are worth it if it means loving Bellamy.

I Won't Say That I'm Ok
Front Porch Step
I Won't Say That I'm Ok

Six days turns into six weeks since she’s been gone.

I don’t know if I can take it. (Y/N) has been gone for a while and I can’t say that I’m okay. She was my best friend and she’s gone. I was slowly falling in love with her, but I didn’t even realize. It’s been too long to be without her.

I haven’t properly eaten in 2 weeks, nor have I left my room or stopped crying. I can’t just put on this face that makes everything alright, because it’s not. I miss her arms around me and the way she made me laugh, I miss how she told me to find the good in everyone and make sure to smile because being happy is everything. She was such a hypocrite.

 There’s this pain in my stomach that hasn’t gone away. It’s almost like when we were kids and we weren’t allowed to see each other because someone accidentally walking in while I kissed her on the cheek.

“I dare you to kiss me.” She said with a devilish smile on her face.

“Won’t we get in trouble?” I suddenly started whispering because we might get caught.

“Who cares? Kiss me, I love you Luke.” I kissed her on her hot red cheek. Lucky for me, her mom walked into the room and we were caught red handed. We got in huge trouble and I was sent home. We talked through the windows since her parents didn't let her come out to play. My best friend got taken away from me and I was so sad I had to do something. I decided to go over and apologize.

I knocked on the door and the second it opened I started talking. “I’m sorry I kissed (Y/N)! Please let me play with her again, I miss her terribly and she’s my best friend.”

It isn’t that simple anymore. I can’t just ask for her back. What’s done is done. I feel so exposed without her here.

I decided I need something to eat or I would pass out. I shuffled my feet downstairs and made my way to the kitchen. There was a banana on the counter and I took it. A figure from the couch arose and started walking over. My eyes sting from being bloodshot. I haven’t gone to school in almost 2 weeks and everyone is starting to worry. I haven’t made any human contact in 2 weeks other than someone in my family going to check on me to see if I hadn’t died yet. Don’t get me wrong, my family cares about me a lot, but apparently they want to give me space because of what happened.

“Hey Luke, are you doing okay?” My mom said.

“No mom, I’m not okay and I refuse to say that I am. Nothing is okay right now. I feel like im stuck I can’t physically do anything. The pain won’t go away. You ave no idea what I’m going through right now. I’m not okay without her here. I miss her so fucking much. This isn’t some type of heartbreak mom, this is real, she’s actually gone and we can’t bring her back. I feel trapped.” I started bursting into years for the 50th time today. She ran over and started hugging me. It won’t make things better, but it sure as hell is comforting. Still, all I can think about her.

“Give me your hand.” She said and gestured for me to give her my hand. I did and she just took a good hard look at it.

“Is there something wrong with my hand?”

“No. I can tell all about you from your hand. I saw it on TV it’s like some weird horoscope shit, I don’t know. I can tell that you’re quite a liar. Don’t lie. Ever. You must remain a good person.”

“Wow, thanks.” I was unaware that I started giggling so much. Not very manly is it.

“Honey, things will get better. We often go through obstacles inlife where things aren’t in a good place. This sadness doesn’t last forever, I promise.” 

“You’re okay.” I rubbed (Y/N)’s back, trying to comfort her. She has been going through some rough things lately. I’m so happy that i’m here for her, because not a lot of people have someone like that.

“I’m sorry.” I gave her a hug and she tensed up at first and then slowly let it go. 

“I will always be here for you." 

“Thank you Mom.” I went upstairs and closed my door, instead of moping around in my room and being lifeless. I’m going to express how I feel through music. I am a musician, after all.

I sat at my desk with my guitar next to me and started strumming a few chords. Nothing is coming to my head. There are so many things clouding my mind, so many questions. Why did she leave? Did she even think of me? I don’t have a clue on how I’m going to be able to get over this.

Suddenly there were things that popped into my head and I jotted them down.

 

I won’t hold my tongue

I’m not okay without you here

I guess what’s done is done

I just feel so exposed without you near

And I won’t say that I’m okay

‘cause you taught me not to lie

so know that I’ll miss you everyday

More and more kept coming.

You always taught me to be good

and always do my best to be selfless

but I know that God is holding you

and I am so damn jealous

'cause I miss your arms around me

and the way you make me laugh

and now I’m stuck inside this prison

that says you’re never coming back.

I’m not okay.

-

hi so i got a little inspiration for this after listening to the song for the first time in about 9 months lol anyway feedback maybe? sorry this sucks a lot its late and i am not good at writing 

anonymous asked:

hi, im very scared for the queer community and i could just do with some reassurance that is gets better? bc im kinda a queer rep in my school for the kiddos but ffs im only 16 and i shouldn't have to feel this scared!! im trying to protect these 12/13 y/os from our own teachers. i walk them between lessons so they don't get beat up and i stand guard for them by their lockers and i just need to know that it won't always have to be like this please? you're brave and queer and okay right?

i was actually talking abt this yesterday w a few friends (one of whom i fell in love with when i was 19 & am maybe even falling a little back in love with now) & one of them had asked me if i could tell my 17 year old self who had just come out smth, like go back in time, what would i say? 

& i got kinda teary, bc its been five years since then. & i was like idk firstly i’d give my lil self a big soft fierce hug & then i’d prolly say like yknow what kid for a bit here this is gonna suck. ur gonna hurt & ur gonna be hurt & its gonna be messy & a lot of parts of ur world wont have caught up w you yet. ur blood family won’t feel like that anymore & they will say all the bad things you’ve always feared abt yourself. it’s gonna happen, it’s gonna be rly terrible & ur brain is gonna lose it for a while. u might want to die sometimes. it’s gonna suck. but then, one day, ur gonna meet someone you fall in love with. that’s gonna be hard too, but you will kiss her & it’s going to break you open. it’s going to write poems in your skin forever & it’s going to change your life. you’re gonna be brave that one time, & then again, & you’ll hold her hand & meet her parents, who won’t hate either of you, & things are gonna get a tiny bit better.

& then you’ll get older. your brain will calm down & you’ll have to take medication but it’s just going to make you sleepy sometimes after it smooths out the scars on your hands. you’re going to make friends who act as balms. you’re going to get your heart broken & you’re going to love people who stitch it up a bit. you’re going to graduate from university & you’re going to love what you studied, you’re going to be good at what you learned. you’re going to have a soft bed & you’re finally going to sleep without nightmares. & things will start to feel better then too, completely outside of anyone else.

& then!! you’re gonna see a lot of the world!! it’s gonna be kind of exhausting & draining & it’s gonna be the most beautiful thing. it’ll take your breath away in the sort of moments that don’t gut you but instead give your lungs something back from another life where maybe you weren’t always so sad. you’re going to see 17 cities from rooftops & not once want to jump. you’re going to fall in love in the middle of a blizzard & your hands are going to sting but not because your body is unhinging but just because they’re thawing from the cold. 

& then here’s the best part: you’re gonna move somewhere & finally, finally, want to stay. it’s not going to be easy & you’ll spend a good part of a very cold winter being pulled between longing & belonging. but it’s not because you aren’t accepted, it’s just because your love is gonna be big & confusing because you’re young. you’re the youngest you’ll ever be. it’s going to be 1:30 am in january & you’re going to be laughing on a couch while your best friend from high school is visiting you in this new home, & it’s going to be snowing, & she’s going to be in the hallway telling her girlfriend that she’s safe, that she loves her. you’re going to scoot closer to the person you love, have loved, will love, & when you kiss her she’ll taste like whiskey & cigarettes & maple syrup: smoke & sting & sweet. she’ll smell like snow & there will be some caught, still, on her eyelashes. it’s going to make things complicated & it won’t solve anything but it’ll be magic. 

months later it’s going to thaw, & you’ll be in your living room surrounded by balloons & your friends here, who have been sutures: they heal you all the time by leaving evidences of themselves. you’ll be drunk on beer & wine & turning 23 & you will have reclaimed your body in so many ways: you ate enough for dinner, you have as many tattoos as years of your life & some cover some scars that were too big to fade & some are just because you thought they were beautiful, or funny, or a little bit of both. it’ll be late & everyone will be loud & loving & for some reason you’ll scream the lyrics to natasha bedingfield’s ‘unwritten’ & it’s funny but later that night, when you open your bedroom window to let the smell of lilac in, it’ll seem sort of true (the rest is still unwritten). you’ll get a text in the early, early morning from a girl you loved so gently when you were younger, & you’ll get to talk to her again the next day for the first time in years. 

you’re going to have picnics with your friends in parks & at the beach & you’ll wear a swimsuit without second thought because it’s hot & your body is your own. you’ll hold girls’ hands sometimes, even if you don’t want to kiss them, because they’re your best friends & because you like them: delicate bones & gentle fingers & strong, radically unapologetic palms. you’ll ride bikes home like you’re little kids. like you’re in a music video where you’re a girl who gets to be young & who gets to fall in love in the middle of the night in the middle of the honeysuckle warmth (it’s been a long time wondering why the summer smells like sin & wonder).

it’s going to take a lot of suffering—to bear, you will bear a lot of the world—but someone you love will tell you that the word in urdu that sounds phonetically like suffer means ‘journey’ & it’ll make you smile. you’re going to have pressed a lot of needles into your skin to survive. you’re going to be sad sometimes still, because people you loved will have died young & it doesn’t get easier for everyone. but you’re one of the people who have made it this far. that’s going to mean something. you’re going to want to go help other people, feel like you can, & that’s going to get you through the days that still press against your ribcage like stones. you’re going to sit down & think about this a week & a half before pride, be interrupted by your groupchat to plan where you’re meeting for the parade & where you’re going to dance afterward.

you’re going to dance. you’re going to be brave & beautiful. not every day, not all the time—but you’re going to be warm, & fed, & loved—& it’s going to get better.

Bittersweet | Carmilla AU | Chapter 6: It Was NOT A Date!

it totally was, though even though neither of them know it

Read it on AO3 and/or FF.net

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“It was not a date.” Laura groaned as LaFontaine grinned at her. “Besides, why are you here?”

“Well, we were supposed to study for finals, but someone neglected to tell their girlfriend about it.” LaFontaine grabbed a soda from the fridge and plopped down next to Laura on the polyester couch (which was a light tan colour, which contrasted rather nicely with the bright yellow pillows).

Laura’s apartment’s layout was similar to Carmilla’s, except it had two bedrooms and the colouring and decorations were entirely different. A sort of modern-meets-secret-nerd.

“She- Carmilla is not my girlfriend!” Laura’s cheeks were literally on fire. How hot could a human get before they overheat and die? Surely, she was past that temperature by now. “She- we’re just friends.”

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