maya maya maya maya maya

i try to stay positive through whatever. i try to live up to people’s standards whenever i can. i smile whenever it’s appropriate too, even though i’m only pretending to. i always try to do the “right” thing.. even though many times it really felt like the wrong thing. i try to show up for people. i attempt to show up, and look good, for the person people believe me to be. this person who, i believe, is sacred and supreme. god, isn’t she celestial? isn’t she lovely? i believe they think i’m someone who they wanna be a little something alike. and i think to myself.. “they don’t want this fight.” this mind game. this psyche. looking at shit different these days, like— i might be paying karma it’s last dues.. but i feel like i got too much more to do. i can hear death singing her song in my ear, and boy do her blues sound pretty. like— she really put the time in. she really got me feeling some kind of way. like— could somewhere else be a better place? i get bored too often here. i wanna jump off from here. wanna feel the breeze and see the beauty as i’m falling. then i wanna panic until the parachute rises to catch me. i wanna trust for once. wouldn’t that be the right thing to do? to have faith in something even if there is no landing safely? can’t say i truly even care if i’ll land safely. more concerned if i’ll land alone. see, that’s my issue. needing to be in control. needing to narrate a love story because i was taught that’s all that will ever matter. love. even when, throughout my life, i can’t say that’s what mattered most.
— 

Reyna Biddy

People come to me with knives,
their hands tucked neatly behind their backs,
I spread my arms and beat my chest
with fists full of the past,
I tell them to stab me and stab me right,
and when they do,
I pull their knives deeper into my chest,
and they run away afraid.
—  Eliot Knight, What is fear?
Lucas takes care of drunk Maya oneshot

~someone requested this on my wattpad so here it is~

Lucas is studying at NYU to become a veterinarian, his dream since the sixth grade. So he knew about lots of animals, but as he told his friends, that didn’t make him a party animal (and may I make it clear that Lucas was very proud of that pun. Riley had laughed hysterically, Maya rolling her eyes and groaning, Farkle looking at Riley in confusion, shouting “he’s just a face!”).

But as dumb as it was, the statement was true. Lucas didn’t particularly enjoy the college keggers that the frats would host almost every weekend. But he ended up being dragged to some by Riley and Zay, along with the rest of his friends.

The parties usually sucked, but would actually be quite enjoyable if Maya came.

She wasn’t that into the whole frat party scene either, so her and Lucas would often find open bedrooms and have long conversations. Maya would often come up with weird inappropriate games like “guess the fetish” where they would give each other a friend and they would come up with their weird fetish or kink. Lucas would act like he thought it was gross, but he secretly really enjoyed the strange yet hilarious exchanges with the fiery blonde.

So Lucas wasn’t too reluctant when Riley got him, Zay, Maya and Farkle invited to another rager, since the blonde beauty would be coming.

He was excited to talk with her, that was until he found out the circumstances.

Maya had just broken up with her boyfriend, Josh, and was planning on drinking heavily and getting wasted. Lucas felt bad, for he knew that drinking has always been Maya’s first instinct when something bad happened to her, like when her dad stood her up or her and Riley got in a fight. He hated to see her hurting, but if drinking was what she wanted to do, then he wouldn’t stop her.

So by the end of the party, Lucas finds himself sitting on a bed in a bedroom, a cup of untouched beer in his hands, the loud music’s soft bass making it in the room, sending ripples in his drink.

He checks the time on his phone and sees that it’s 12:23 am, a fine time for him to skip out.

But just as he starts to get up, the door bursts open. He sees Farkle, holding up Maya as she holds her stilettos in her hand, laughing hysterically.

“Lucas, a little help?” A sober Farkle says, taking her in and sitting her on the bed.

“Lukey!” Maya gasps, pulling him into a tight hug, butterflies filling Lucas’s stomach.

“She’s super drunk, and I was gonna take her home, but she kept asking for you. She wouldn’t unlock herself from the bathroom unless I promised I’d take her to you.” Farkle says exasperatedly, still standing beside the bed.

“I can take her back to her dorm, don’t worry about it.” Lucas replies, Maya still hugging him tightly, her head resting on his shoulder.

“Really? You don’t have to do that..” Farkle says, scratching the back of his neck.

“No, it’s no problem. She’s only a few buildings over.” Lucas waves off, standing up and pulling Maya with him.

She stumbles slightly with a giggle, but Lucas catches her and holds her upright.

“Man, I owe you one. I’m gonna go find Riley.” Farkle smiles, heading out the door.

“Okay Maya, you wanna walk with me?” Lucas says to Maya, her simply almost falling over again.

He holds her up, and decides that there’s an easier way to do this.

Lucas picks Maya up and puts her over his shoulder, her laughing and kicking her bare feet.

He walks out of the bedroom and down the stairs, hearing some cheers and wolf-whistles at him as he descends.

“Where are you taking me lukey?” She asks cutely, letting her long blonde locks swing carelessly.

“Back to your dorm.” Lucas says flatly, blushing at her flirty voice.

Lucas carries a still laughing Maya out of the house and to his red truck that’s parked on the side of the road. He opens the door and puts her in, but when he lays her down, she grabs his shirt and pulls him down into a kiss.

Lucas jumps slightly at the unexpected action, his stomach tying into a knot as his face turns very red. The kiss is burning with hunger and desire, an electric charge flowing from her lips to his, pulsing through his body and making his hair stand up on the back of his neck.

Lucas very reluctantly pulls away from Maya’s lips, her hand still on his shirt, their faces inches apart.

“But Lucas… I want you.” Maya purrs, but Lucas resists every teenage boy urge inside of him and pulls away completely.

“You’re drunk, Maya. We’ll see if that’s still what you want when you’re sober.” Lucas chuckles, closing her door and walking around the truck to get in the driver’s seat.

“Fine. You’re no fun.” Maya huffs, sticking out her lip in a pout.

Lucas starts the truck, pulling out of his spat and starting to drive to Maya’s dorm building.

“I’m tired..” Maya groans, scooting over and hugging Lucas’s arm, resting her head on his shoulder.

Lucas has a hard time keeping his eyes on the road as Maya nuzzles into him cutely, not to mention her short skirt riding up dangerously high.

Lucas takes one hand off the wheel and wraps it around her shoulders, her nuzzling into his chest as her breathing suddenly turns into little snores that Lucas finds adorable.

He pulls up beside her building, gently setting Maya down and getting out of the car as she lays unconscious in the seat. He pulls her out and puts her over his shoulder again, closing the door and walking up the steps to the building.

Carrying Maya is really no challenge for Lucas, considering she’s five feet tall and most likely a size two, not to mention Lucas being strong as a horse.

He walks in the doors and sees a group of college girls on the couch in the commons, their talking and laughing stopping as they all look at him with smirks on their faces.

“He’s so hot…” he hears one of them say quietly to their friend, and he walks over to them.

“Hey, do any of you know where Maya’s dorm is? She passed out.” Lucas asks them.

“Yeah, I live next door.. I can show you.” A dirty blonde, brown eyed girl says, getting up as her friends giggle from the couches.

“We’re on the third floor. I’m guessing the elevator is the best idea.” The girl chuckles, Lucas following her to the elevators before she pushes the up button.

The three of them get in the elevator, the girl pushing the three button.

“So, what’s your name?” The girl asks, making small talk.

“Lucas. You?”

“Haley.”

“Nice to meet you.” Lucas chuckles, the elevator doors opening.

“And you.” She replies sarcastically, exiting the elevator.

“So is Maya your girlfriend?” Haley asks, walking down the hall.

“Uh.. no, she’s not. But-” Lucas replies, his face going red.

“You want her to be?” Haley cuts him off.

“Oh, well.. yeah. I do.” Lucas admits.

“You should make a move. Just between us, she talks about you all the time.” Haley says with an eye roll, stopping at a door.

“Really?” Lucas replies, butterflies filling his stomach.

“Yeah. Jesus, you look so excited.” Haley laughs, Lucas chuckling and looking to his feet.

“Well this is her. She leaves it unlocked.” Haley nods.

“Alright, thanks a ton.” Lucas smiles.

“No problem.” Haley responds, Lucas stepping into Maya’s dorm.

The room’s only light is coming from a crack in the bathroom door, giving the room a dim orange light.

He carries her to her bed and lays her down, pulling the comforter over her.

He smiles at her, admiring how beautiful she looks despite her drunk and sleepy state, before he turns and starts for the door.

“Lucas?” He suddenly hears after a rustle of blankets and a grunt.

“Yeah?” He replies as he turns around.

“Can you stay with me?” She asks, only her head peeking out from under the big blanket.

Lucas opens his mouth to decline, but Maya beats him to it.

“I won’t try anything, I promise. I just don’t wanna be alone.” She says softly, and Lucas gives in to her big blue eyes.

“Sure. I’ll stay.” Lucas gives her a toothless smile, starting to take his shoes off and make a bed on the floor.

“God, don’t sleep down there. I have room up here.” Maya giggles, taking off the comforter and patting the spot next to her.

Lucas tries to say no, but he can’t when she looks up at him with that longing look on her face.

“Fine.” Lucas sighs, joining her in the bed before pulling the comforter over them both.

Maya snuggles her head into his chest, both of them laying on their sides facing each other. Lucas puts his arm around her and rubs her back, Maya resting a leg in between his.

Lucas hears Maya’s breaths grow steady and he plants a small kiss on her forehead, her hair still smelling of peaches.

They lay like this quietly until they both drift off, Lucas’s heart feeling warm and happy as he falls into a soundless sleep.

Maya couldn’t believe that Damian lived in the manor the first time she visited. She was stunned by how big it was and that he even had a butler. Damian brushed it off like it was no big deal but Maya kept telling him it was a huge deal to live a place that nice.

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