So I started taking a new medication because my doctor was all like yeah this will help so I was like cool. Went and researched it a little more yesterday and found out it’s an antipsychotic, widely used for bipolar disorder and schizophrenia. I mean it’s also used for just extreme depression, but still. Now I feel like my mother. It also makes me sooooooooo tired and dazed. Like I have a really slow reaction time. The new girl in my office is very chatty and she keeps saying things to me then I just stare at her for a few seconds while I process what she said, then I answer. She thinks I’m crazy. Which apparently I am. But seriously, the drowsiness is not just drowsiness. It’s I-could-fucking-fall-asleep-standing-up-ness. Yesterday was awful. I ate like 12 candy bars and had a diet coke and walked around a bunch and I still just wanted to sleep forever. The side effect should go away soon, but holy crap I just want to be Sleeping Beauty right now. I fell asleep on the couch at 6 last night and I probably would have slept until the next morning if my dad hadn’t stopped by.
I’m tired of feeling so heavily medicated. So medicated, it feels like I should be confined to a hospital bed. But I’m still functioning in everyday life. Well…“functioning”. Being present at work and kind of doing stuff while trying to keep my eyes open. I actually took a nap on my break yesterday. I have NEVER done that because I think it’s creepy to nap in the break room. And usually I’d never be able to fall asleep for 15 minutes. But I definitely did. And I was not refreshed at all when I got up.
Now I’m going to go to the bathroom so I can just sit in the stall and close my eyes for a few minutes. It helps for like 5 minutes.