When you are an SB, it is important for you to play the part in your SD’s life, meaning be well educated about things and have proper etiquette and KNOW your wine… or have at least an idea about wine and food paring.
So here, my hoes a little basic overview (if want to learn more about wine, just google that shit out!)
Just like adding milk into coffee will change its texture and taste; food when interacting with wine will affect its flavor. Different ingredients and preparation methods will bring out different taste sensations with the same bottle of wine.
There are a lot of pairing guidelines, but only one universal pairing principle –
A good pairing is when the food and wine do not overshadow each other. Wine and food can complement or contrast each other, as long as they do not mask each other’s unique flavor and characteristics.
Factors to Consider when Pairing
When pairing food, you are really complementing or contrasting four elements. The way the dish is prepared and cooked will affect these elements:
Example 1: Most people prefer pairing Cabernet Sauvignon with steaks because they are both full-bodied, strong flavor, and the protein in the meat will soften the tannin in the wine. A venturing wine lover may pair a red steak with a full-bodied white Roussanne.
Example 2: With spicy, strong flavor Thai dishes, the classic gourmets would go for a Riesling. Its neutrality will complement Thai cuisine’s spices. Its acidity and med bodied will match the weight of the food. A venturing wine lover may pair with Gewurztraminer or Marsanne.
Our Favorite Wine and Food Pairings:
It is not always white wine with white meat… Pinot Noir, Beaujolais, Chianti are few handful reds that pair well with chicken. Below we have listed our favorite pairings as a good starting point:
Chicken – Full-bodied whites (Chardonnay, Chenin Blanc) or light reds (Beaujolais, Pinot Noir, Rioja, Chianti) Foie Gras / Pate - Sweet whites (Sauternes, Riesling Spatlese, Tokaji) Green Salad – Herby whites (Sauvignon Blanc, Pinot Blanc, Sancerre, Pouilly-Fume, Vinho Verde) Grilled Fish – Light to medium bodied whites (Sauvignon Blanc, Vinho Verde, Chablis) Pasta (red sauce) – acidic reds (Barbera, Chianti, Zinfandel / Primitivo, Valpolicella) Pasta (white sauce) – fuller bodied whites (Chardonnay, Viognier, Gavi, Pinot Gris) Pizza - Sparkling or a fruity red (Prosecco, Barbera, Dolcetto, Valpolicella) Raw or steamed shellfish – Crisp, acidic wines (Champagne, Sauvignon Blanc, Chablis) Steak – Full-bodied red (Cabernet, Merlot, Syrah, Malbec, Barolo)
Chinese – Riesling, Gewurztraminer, Sauvignon Blanc, and Pinot Noir Japanese Sushi – Beaujolais, Sauvignon Blanc, Riesling Spicy Thai / Indian Curry – Viognier, Riesling, Gewurztraminer, Rousanne
Acidic wines go well with many dishes. Sauvignon Blanc, dry Riesling, Chianti are great examples. In addition, acidic wines make salty dishes appear less salty. For fatty food such as foie gras, try Sauternes (an equally rich and intense wine). For spicy food, try fruity, low-alcohol wines such as Riesling and Gewurztraminer. Sweet food goes well with a bottle that is slightly sweeter.
Pair complex food with a simple wine. And pair simple food with a complex wine.
“And speaking of food! You had wanted to eat it, so I pickled some umeboshi! And the plum sake is almost ripe for drinking! And the wine - Doumeki may be a heavy drinker, but he can’t finish it all himself! If you aren’t here… If you go… Yuuko-san… Yuuko-san… Please say that this is all… just a dream…”
“I couldn’t lie to you like that, Watanuki. Because you are someone I care for dearly.”
20 Common Grammar Mistakes That (Almost) Everyone Makes
Who and Whom
This one opens a big can of worms. “Who” is a subjective — or nominative — pronoun, along with “he,” “she,” “it,” “we,” and “they.” It’s used when the pronoun acts as the subject of a clause. “Whom” is an objective pronoun, along with “him,” “her,” “it”, “us,” and “them.” It’s used when the pronoun acts as the object of a clause. Using “who” or “whom” depends on whether you’re referring to the subject or object of a sentence. When in doubt, substitute “who” with the subjective pronouns “he” or “she,” e.g., Who loves you? cf., He loves me.Similarly, you can also substitute “whom” with the objective pronouns “him” or “her.” e.g., I consulted an attorney whom I met in New York. cf., I consulted him.
Which and That
This is one of the most common mistakes out there, and understandably so. “That” is a restrictive pronoun. It’s vital to the noun to which it’s referring. e.g., I don’t trust fruits and vegetables that aren’t organic. Here, I’m referring to all non-organic fruits or vegetables. In other words, I only trust fruits and vegetables that are organic. “Which” introduces a relative clause. It allows qualifiers that may not be essential. e.g., I recommend you eat only organic fruits and vegetables, which are available in area grocery stores. In this case, you don’t have to go to a specific grocery store to obtain organic fruits and vegetables. “Which” qualifies, “that” restricts. “Which” is more ambiguous however, and by virtue of its meaning is flexible enough to be used in many restrictive clauses. e.g., The house, which is burning, is mine. e.g., The house that is burning is mine.
Lay and Lie
This is the crown jewel of all grammatical errors. “Lay” is a transitive verb. It requires a direct subject and one or more objects. Its present tense is “lay” (e.g., I lay the pencil on the table) and its past tense is “laid” (e.g.,Yesterday I laid the pencil on the table). “Lie” is an intransitive verb. It needs no object. Its present tense is “lie” (e.g., The Andes mountains lie between Chile and Argentina) and its past tense is “lay” (e.g., The man lay waiting for an ambulance). The most common mistake occurs when the writer uses the past tense of the transitive “lay” (e.g., I laid on the bed) when he/she actually means the intransitive past tense of “lie" (e.g., I lay on the bed).
Contrary to common misuse, “moot” doesn’t imply something is superfluous. It means a subject is disputable or open to discussion. e.g., The idea that commercial zoning should be allowed in the residential neighborhood was a moot point for the council.
Continual and Continuous
They’re similar, but there’s a difference. “Continual” means something that’s always occurring, with obvious lapses in time. “Continuous” means something continues without any stops or gaps in between. e.g., The continual music next door made it the worst night of studying ever. e.g., Her continuous talking prevented him from concentrating.
Envy and Jealousy
The word “envy” implies a longing for someone else’s good fortunes. “Jealousy” is far more nefarious. It’s a fear of rivalry, often present in sexual situations. “Envy” is when you covet your friend’s good looks. “Jealousy” is what happens when your significant other swoons over your good-looking friend.
“Nor” expresses a negative condition. It literally means “and not.” You’re obligated to use the “nor” form if your sentence expresses a negative and follows it with another negative condition. “Neither the men nor the women were drunk” is a correct sentence because “nor” expresses that the women held the same negative condition as the men. The old rule is that “nor” typically follows “neither,” and “or” follows “either.” However, if neither “either” nor “neither” is used in a sentence, you should use “nor” to express a second negative, as long as the second negative is a verb. If the second negative is a noun, adjective, or adverb, you would use “or,” because the initial negative transfers to all conditions. e.g., He won’t eat broccoli or asparagus. The negative condition expressing the first noun (broccoli) is also used for the second (asparagus).
May and Might
“May” implies a possibility. “Might” implies far more uncertainty. “You may get drunk if you have two shots in ten minutes” implies a real possibility of drunkenness. “You might get a ticket if you operate a tug boat while drunk” implies a possibility that is far more remote. Someone who says “I may have more wine” could mean he/she doesn’t want more wine right now, or that he/she “might” not want any at all. Given the speaker’s indecision on the matter, “might” would be correct.
Whether and If
Many writers seem to assume that “whether” is interchangeable with “if.“ It isn’t. “Whether” expresses a condition where there are two or more alternatives. “If” expresses a condition where there are no alternatives. e.g., I don’t know whether I’ll get drunk tonight. e.g., I can get drunk tonight if I have money for booze.
Fewer and Less
“Less” is reserved for hypothetical quantities. “Few” and “fewer” are for things you can quantify. e.g., The firm has fewer than ten employees. e.g., The firm is less successful now that we have only ten employees.
Farther and Further
The word “farther” implies a measurable distance. “Further” should be reserved for abstract lengths you can’t always measure. e.g., I threw the ball ten feet farther than Bill. e.g., The financial crisis caused further implications.
Since and Because
“Since” refers to time. “Because” refers to causation. e.g., Since I quit drinking I’ve married and had two children. e.g., Because I quit drinking I no longer wake up in my own vomit.
Disinterested and Uninterested
Contrary to popular usage, these words aren’t synonymous. A “disinterested” person is someone who’s impartial. For example, a hedge fund manager might take interest in a headline regarding the performance of a popular stock, even if he’s never invested in it. He’s “disinterested,” i.e., he doesn’t seek to gain financially from the transaction he’s witnessed. Judges and referees are supposed to be "disinterested.” If the sentence you’re using implies someone who couldn’t care less, chances are you’ll want to use “uninterested.”
Unless you’re frightened of them, you shouldn’t say you’re “anxious to see your friends.” You’re actually “eager,” or “excited.” To be “anxious” implies a looming fear, dread or anxiety. It doesn’t mean you’re looking forward to something.
Different Than and Different From
This is a tough one. Words like “rather” and “faster” are comparative adjectives, and are used to show comparison with the preposition “than,” (e.g., greater than, less than, faster than, rather than). The adjective “different” is used to draw distinction. So, when “different” is followed by a preposition, it should be “from,” similar to “separate from,” “distinct from,” or “away from.” e.g., My living situation in New York was different from home. There are rare cases where “different than” is appropriate, if “than” operates as a conjunction. e.g.,Development is different in New York than in Los Angeles. When in doubt, use “different from.”
Bring and Take
In order to employ proper usage of “bring” or “take,” the writer must know whether the object is being moved toward or away from the subject. If it is toward, use “bring.” If it is away, use “take.” Your spouse may tell you to “take your clothes to the cleaners.” The owner of the dry cleaners would say “bring your clothes to the cleaners.”
It isn’t a word. “Impact” can be used as a noun (e.g., The impact of the crash was severe) or a transitive verb (e.g., The crash impacted my ability to walk or hold a job). “Impactful” is a made-up buzzword, colligated by the modern marketing industry in their endless attempts to decode the innumerable nuances of human behavior into a string of mindless metrics. Seriously, stop saying this.
Affect and Effect
Here’s a trick to help you remember: “Affect” is almost always a verb (e.g., Facebook affects people’s attention spans), and “effect” is almost always a noun (e.g., Facebook’s effects can also be positive). “Affect” means to influence or produce an impression — to cause hence, an effect. “Effect” is the thing produced by the affecting agent; it describes the result or outcome. There are some exceptions. “Effect” may be used as a transitive verb, which means to bring about or make happen. e.g., My new computer effected a much-needed transition from magazines to Web porn. There are similarly rare examples where “affect” can be a noun. e.g., His lack of affect made him seem like a shallow person.
Irony and Coincidence
Too many people claim something is the former when they actually mean the latter. For example, it’s not “ironic” that “Barbara moved from California to New York, where she ended up meeting and falling in love with a fellow Californian.” The fact that they’re both from California is a “coincidence.” “Irony” is the incongruity in a series of events between the expected results and the actual results. “Coincidence” is a series of events that appear planned when they’re actually accidental. So, it would be “ironic” if “Barbara moved from California to New York to escape California men, but the first man she ended up meeting and falling in love with was a fellow Californian.”
Undoubtedly the most common mistake I encounter. Contrary to almost ubiquitous misuse, to be “nauseous” doesn’t mean you’ve been sickened: it actually means you possess the ability to produce nausea in others. e.g., That week-old hot dog is nauseous. When you find yourself disgusted or made ill by a nauseating agent, you are actually “nauseated.” e.g., I was nauseated after falling into that dumpster behind the Planned Parenthood. Stop embarrassing yourself.
If you’re looking for a practical, quick guide to proper grammar, I suggest the tried-and-true classic The Elements of Style, by William Strunk, Jr. and E. B. White. A few of these examples are listed in the book, and there are plenty more. Good luck!
(A/N): I feel as though I may be the wine mom of all my friends…
Request:anonymous asked: Hi! May I request Dad-Friend Steve and Mom-Friend Reader and everyone else ships them together, and they come up with a plan to get them to confess but it turns out they’ve been dating a for a while on the downlow? Thank you!
“Steve if you tell one more dad joke I swear to god,” (Y/N) stared at Steve menacingly, placing their hands on their hips as they glare at the star spangled man.
“But I’m so good at them,” Steve smiled cockily, something that was rare nowadays.
“Everyone hates them so much,”
“You all love them and you know it,” (Y/N) rolled their eyes, shaking their head in annoyance as they went back to chopping up some onions for whatever they were making but the faint smile on their face only justified Steve’s words. Meanwhile every other avenger had congregated at the dining table, all staring at the two team members fondly.
“Guys I swear they’re a thing, how could they not be?” Sam asked incredulously, albeit quietly all the while gesturing to the two as they giggled at something one of them had said.
“I don’t know,” Bucky murmurs, shaking his head. “I don’t see it,”
“I’m with Bucky here,” Nat nods her head, agreeing to Bucky’s statement. “I just don’t see it,”
“We need to find a way,” Tony buts in,” To wiggle it out of them, truly figure this all out,”
“It makes sense,” Wanda suddenly joins in the conversation, previously having said nothing at all on the matter. “Steve is the dad of the group and (Y/N) is the mom,”
“What the hell are you talking about?” Bucky wrinkles his nose in confusion, glaring at the ‘couple’ across the room.
“Bucky, (Y/N) keeps snacks in all of their bags in case any of us get hungry and Steve is constantly in protective pappa bear mode, they are the literal walking definition of Mom and Dad friend,”
“Maybe they’re already married, maybe they already are a mom and dad!” Tony gasps softly, his face dawning with surprise. “It would make sense though, right? Right?” Nat shrugs her shoulders before turning back to look at the pair who were now just smiling fondly at each other, like two teenagers in love.
“Fucking hell,” Sam mutters, shaking his head at the sight. “If they aren’t a thing then I’m giving up redwing,”
“Oh my god,” Bucky murmurs, his eyes widening in surprise. “You guys Sam just placed a bet on his precious redwing, this is getting serious,” The group continue to bicker and banter back and forth, attempting to figure out if one party was right, if Steve and (Y/N) really were a couple or if they were just really close friends who had bonded via their mom/dad relationship with everyone else.
“Do you think they know we can hear them?” Steve whispers to (Y/N) who is smiling faintly as they continue to merrily chop away at food.
“I don’t think so, maybe that’s why they’re whispering,” (Y/N) raises their eyebrows, giving Steve a mock lock of surprise as they do so. Steve merely chuckles, sliding down a bit into this seat as he turned to stare at his friends fondly.
“Do you think we should tell them?” Steve asks softly, watching as Tony whisper shouted something to Sam.
“Nah, let’s see how long we can keep this going,” (Y/N) ceases their chopping, electing to stare at their friends as well.
“I’m guessing the end of this month,” Steve murmurs, nodding his head to himself. “They are awfully close to figuring this out,”
“I’d give them to the day of our wedding announcements,” Steve nearly snorts, inhaling a bit too deeply as he laughs quite a bit. “Maybe the day of the wedding I don’t know,”
“Really? Do you think they’re that dense?”
“Steve, we’ve almost been caught-” (Y/N) pauses, giving Steve a side glance, trying to decide on which words to use for this particular phrase. “We’ve almost been caught ‘fonduing’ on more than one occasion and they’re still arguing about this, so I know I’m gonna win this,” Steve merely hums, shrugging his shoulders as he does so.
“We’ll just have to see then,”
“Yes!” Tony yelled excitedly, punching the air before getting up to high-five Sam and Wanda. “We were right losers!” He points to Nat, Bucky, and Bruce, all of whom had thought that (Y/N) and Steve weren’t really a thing.
“Whatever man,” Bucky grumbled, huffing as he glared down at the artsy little piece of paper in his hands, the same one every avenger was holding.
‘We cordially invite you for the marriage of Steve Rogers and (Y/N) (Y/L/N)’
Info: Reader is younger than Daryl and tries to act more mature to get his attention for her only to make a fool of herself
Warnings: swearing, Glenn/Abe not dead for the stake of the story
Daryl and y/n were invited to dinner with Aaron and Eric after they arrived in Alexandria. y/n had no clue why they wanted her and Daryl, it was a an odd pairing. She was twenty five while Daryl was mid forties, he was quite reserved and mature while y/n still struggled to fit in.
Carl was too young, Rick was a father of two and well matured. Maggie was expecting and married, there was maturity built in to her. Glenn was in the same boat as her. Sasha had experienced so much loss she was fine, she didn’t want to be bothered much anyways. Noah was still just a little young and bonded better with Glenn, Carl and Sasha. Abraham was aged well, he had his witty young moments but overall a matured man. Rosita was figuring stuff out and y/n didn’t want to get in the way. Tara and Eugene were both smart, Tara had Denise to hang out with and Eugene too smart to associate with y/n. That left Carol and Daryl, among the oldest and it showed. The two of them vibed well, there was almost nowhere for y/n to belong.
Headcanon MC is a retired super model known in Europe and the Americas, and rfa's (+saerans If possible) reaction? 💗💗🌸
(AAAAaaah~ I had so much fun with this! I hope you like it~ <333)
Yoosung -He’s always joked that you should be a model you’re so beautiful -Of course it was always followed by a comment how he didn’t want anyone else to look at you the way he did -He was cleaning up the house when he found an old magazine and went to take a flip through it -He had to pause and blink a few times before his brain could process -Was that his MC on the cover??? -He runs out to the living room, waving the cover over his head -”Why didn’t you tell me you used to model???” -You sigh, you knew he’d find out eventually -You wave him over to come talk about it -You explain it’s been a long time and assured him no one was seeing you partially nude but him now -He asks to see some of your old modelling work and tells you you’ve only gotten more beautiful -It makes you feel so warm since it feels like people only ever say the opposite after a model retires -Did he just hear that? How could anyone not think you were beautiful? -He frowns and tells you, that you may be gorgeous but your heart outshines your looks any day -How fucking sweet is he??? -He never really brings it up again, but he’s even more delicate with complimenting you in the future -Of course, he’s so happy only he gets to see you now, but, him? dating a super model?? who would have thought???
Zen -He’s been trying to place your face since the day you both met -It’s not until he finds an old pinup of his that he puts two and two together -You’d really changed your look and, it’s not like he expected it?? -You both are really able to bond over the experience -Especially because Zen understands the hardships behind how different people will treat you -You both talk about how hard it is to try and find people who don’t just like you for your looks or your fame -It was nice having someone you knew wasn’t judging you for anything superficial -You both spent the next hour complimenting each other on things you both only knew about one another -You signed his pinup for him as well -He definitely put that somewhere special to bring out on your wedding day -You both end up doing a little photoshoot together -It’s actually the most adorable thing -Of course it was Zen’s idea to do a “couples” shoot together -You didn’t really take to the idea right away -But it ended up being so much fun since it was with him -You both hardly took eyes off one another -This became something you both did yearly for your anniversary
Jaehee -You both were out for coffee one evening when someone approached you -It was absolutely embarrassed and it’d been years since anyone had recognized you -Jaehee watched in awe as she saw the fan come and go, she’d only even experienced this sort of thing when out with Zen -She tried her best to not pry but you knew you were caught red handed now -You explained everything to her and even pulled up a few pictures on your phone -The light shade of pink across her cheeks was adorable -Of course she asks if she could see more -You may just have gained a new leader of your online fan group -You joke about doing a private modelling session for her -But she ends up asking if you could teach her -She totally wants to take hot cute pictures for you too -You both spend an evening dressing up around the house and drinking wine -You may have even sent a few less then safe pictures in the chatroom of you two -You come home a few weeks later to a note and a special picture of Jaehee just for you~
Jumin -He always knew you were breathtaking from the moment he saw you -He loves dressing you up just for him, somedays he can’t stand the idea of anyone else setting eyes on you -He’s put you in one of his favourite outfits as you’re both headed to dinner with his father who’s yet to meet you -Of course he knows who you are -He’s an old man and we all know his tastes -Jumin almost grabs your wrist and drags you out of there top speed when he sees the way his dad is looking at you -He excuses himself from the table and asks to speak with you -You explain you used to model and you can almost see the anger in Jumin’s eyes that other men have laid eyes on you -Even though you reassure him it was quite awhile ago, it rubs him the wrong way -It doesn’t take him long to ask to see some of the pictures -He can’t help but think you look gorgeous -Oh no he recognizes the one that Zen has -Luckily he doesn’t put where he’s seen it before together -He tells you how much gorgeous you’ve gotten and how he’s glad no one ever has gotten to see you how you are now -He definitely left marks all over you that night
Seven -Of course he found the pictures during the background check -He honestly was waiting for the perfect moment to send an old picture of you in the chat -But after awhile liked being the only one who knew about them -You didn’t know he knew until you catch sight of a folder on his computer -”MC Model photos-do not open” -You frown and exclaim loudly about how he knew this whole time -And worse he had saved every picture he could find??? -He just laughs and says it was research materiel -He can see you’re upset so he pulls you between his legs as he sits on his chair and pulls you into a big hug, nuzzling into your chest -”You’re much more beautiful now, and now, you’re miiiiiiine” -You can’t help but smile and roll your eyes -He chuckles and says how you wish you could pull off a maid outfit like him -You both definitely get dressed up and hound the chat about who’s prettier -Was there any question that they’d side with you? -Though…Zen seemed to have missed the memo again -Once again calling dear Saeyoung a hot maid
Saeran -Saeyoung was definitely the one who first showed him the pictures of you -Teased him with “I have sexy pictures of MC you’ve never seen~” -You can imagine the confusion and slight annoyance mixed with some jealousy on his face -Little did he know, not just Saeyoung, but lots of other people had seen these pictures -When you get home he immediately asks why Saeyoung has these pictures -Now you’re confused as well lol -You blush and get incredibly embarrassed when you find out they’re your modelling photos -This poor boy is only more confused to why you’re so flustered -You explain it to him and you can still see the annoyance -”But I’m the only one who get to see you like that now, right? No one else?” -You reassure him and give him some lovely kisses -Casually will flip through magazines now and again to see if there are any old pictures of you slotted in anywhere -He totally blushes if there is one -Kinda wants to run around the stores and tell people thats his s/o right there -After a few days weeks he asks Saeyoung for the pictures -I’m sure you can imagine the smug grin on Saeyoung’s face -And the grumpy one on Saeran’s -You end up taking a few ~special~ new pictures just for Saeran -He feels so special to have them and keeps them close to him
Banal hours had passed as
Thranduil lay in bed, his mind contorting as he sought some plot to best the
wily maid. Among his fruitless machinations, he fell into a deep sleep
though he continued to writhe beneath his blankets. Even in his subconscious he
could not escape the servant and his head conjured images of her as he sunk
into the abyss.
what kind of offerings are good for gathering graveyard dirt? Should you leave an offering even if it isn't from an actual grave (just a cemetery)? Should you leave an offering at a crossroads if you take dirt from there? I'm genuinely curious
Let’s start from the end and work backwards here. X3
Firstly, crossroads are different from graveyards and cemeteries in that they might not have spirits that need to be appeased. However, if you choose to leave or take something from a crossroads (such as dirt), leaving a little something is probably a good idea. Hedging one’s bets is usually wise when it comes to such things (translation: always cover your ass).
Secondly, if you take dirt from anywhere inside the gate of a graveyard or cemetery, whether from a grave or not, it is likely considered consecrated or “hallowed” ground and thus, it’s a good idea to leave something as a thank-you. There are some unconsecrated burial grounds, such as potter’s fields and possibly some family burial plots (not a good idea to take earth from there unless it’s your own family, since these are usually private property), but most of the public ones you see have been consecrated. If you see a chapel or a church anywhere on the property, it is DEFINITELY consecrated ground. And as graveyards go, the older the grave, the more oomph in the dirt.
Before you go about collecting your graveyard dirt, you may want to make a quick obeisance at the gate. Let the dead know what you’re there to do, that you intend to make payment, and that you mean no harm or disrespect.
If you take dirt from a grave, it’s a good idea to know something about the person who’s buried there. You don’t have to look up their life’s story, but it’s good to know who you’re dealing with. Generally, saving the name and dates from the stone will give you something to go on. Some stones will also list professions.
Whatever grave you pick, make sure you ASK PERMISSION FIRST. Call the person by name, ask politely if you may take some earth from their grave, state what you want it for and what you’ve brought them in return, and then WAIT. If you don’t get a prickly go-away feeling after a minute or so, you should be all right. Manners count for so much when you’re dealing with the dead or with spirits of any kind, especially since taking dirt from a grave is asking for the assistance of the person buried there. As in life, a good first impression can make a big difference.
Thirdly, there are lots of offerings you can leave in exchange for graveyard dirt. Here are some of the most common:
Coins (preferably silver-colored and reasonably shiny)
Bread (any kind will do)
Fruit (apples are preferable, but most any kind will do)
Milk (any kind, and local is nice if you can get it)
Liquor (some spirits may like wine or beer, some may like hard liquor like whiskey; use your best judgement)
Incense (a cone or stick burned graveside; practice fire safety)
Tobacco (especially in the American South)
Flowers or Potted Plant (any kind will do; you can dig a hole and plant the potted item and use the pot to carry the earth away if you’re concerned about strolling off with a baggy of dirt)
If you can’t afford anything listed above, you can leave your own saliva. However, if you choose to do this, spit into your palm and lay it gently down on the earth. Spitting directly onto a grave is incredibly disrespectful and will more than likely garner a bad reaction if the occupant takes offense. Also, any bargain where your own bodily fluids get involved is a much more binding one, so be sure that you’re up for that beforehand.
For addition information, raven-conspiracy has an excellent post here detailing how best to approach the gathering of graveyard dirt.
Happy Valentine’s day @scarletb1tch
I hope you enjoy the story!
This takes place 4 years after the latest Gotham episode. Oswald and have Ed have worked everything out and are secretly dating. This is one of their dates.
Edward Nygma anxiously ran his fingers over a golden ring encrusted in diamonds, with a ruby in the middle. Ed had spent months on it, robbing several jewelry stores to find the perfect jewels. He was no jeweler, but he was the Riddler, who was smarter than any man. Well that’s what he told himself even if he was proven wrong… a lot.
Edward took a deep breath and looked up at the sky. He watched the sun slowly get lower and lower in the sky.
“Ed are you up there?” A voice asked below a trap door.
Edward almost dropped the ring while briskly putting it back into his iconic green suit. He ran over to the trap door and helped Oswald Cobblepot onto the roof.
“You’re late, Mr. Cobblepot.” Ed noted.
“You try finding this place on your own. Every building is abandoned here in this side of Gotham.” Oswald snapped back.
Edward escorted Oswald to a table he had set up for the date. The table was covered in a black cloth with silverware, ceramic plates, wine glasses and candles in the middle.
“What do you think?” Ed asked afraid that maybe he had gone overboard as usual. Normally he wouldn’t care as much, but this night had to be perfect.
“It’s beautiful Ed.” Oswald said as he sat down.
Ed took the other seat and pulled out a bottle of wine. “May I?”
“Of course.” Oswald handed his glass to Edward.
As Edward poured Oswald couldn’t help, but to laugh.
Ed looked at him perplexed. “What’s so funny Os?” He asked giving Oswald the wine.
“You said I was late, but you’re the only that’s late, 3 years late.” Oswald pointed at the wine.
Edward faked a smile. “Yeah you’re right.” He looked off into the distance remembering the day he promised he would show up to Oswald’s house with a bottle of wine. Fate had other ideas and he was taken away by a blonde headed girl. Edward didn’t know if he should tell Oswald that was the wine he bought years ago.
When Oswald realized what he had done he quickly spoke, “I’m sorry Ed. I didn’t mean t-”
“No it’s fine Ossie.” Ed’s fake smiled dropped again as he studied his lover’s face. All of his mistakes stared him back at his face. Over the years Oswald’s face and body had been the victim of terrible crimes. Most of the marks had been caused by Ed and it haunted him.
“Ed you’re staring. What has gotten into you?” Oswald asked obviously worried.
Edward suddenly stood. “Why do you stick around? I’ve done so much to you and yet you’re sitting here with me. You should just put a bullet in my head.” Ed couldn’t help it. No matter what he did there was always a voice that told him he wasn’t good enough. “I’ll hurt you again. I know I will and-”
“Edward that’s enough!” Oswald shouted. In one swift motion Oswald pulled Ed into an embrace. “I told you to never talk like that again. Listen to me Ed, you’re the only person I will ever love. You’ve saved me countless times even after everything I’ve done. If I could go back and do it all again, I would. Falling in love with you was the best thing that has ever happened to me.” Oswald held Ed tighter trying to hold back his tears.
Edward panicked. He didn’t know how to fix things, he had ruined another date. He always knew what to do, except when it came to Oswald. When he was around Oswald all reason went out the window and his head became static. “What do I do?” Edward whispered.
“Shut up and kiss me, Nygma.” Oswald cried into Ed’s shirt.
Ed was about to do as he was told when he heard two car doors slam shut.
“Jim, I’m telling you, the freak put you on another goose chase. He won’t be here. Let’s just call it a day and go get a drink.” A voice came from the street below.
Oswald and Ed both froze they knew exactly who was down there.
“Harv, we can’t just ignore this. If we don’t act quickly who knows what Nygma will do. He’s sick. Besides if you can’t handle it, you can just go. I’ll find you later.” Another man’s voice chimed in.
“And let you kick Nygma’s ass without me? Hell no.” The first man spoke again.
“Ed you need to leave now.” Oswald said with urgency.
“I’m not leaving you.” Edward said grabbing Oswald.
“Don’t worry about me. They’ll only take me to Arkham. I’ll be out in a couple of days.” Oswald pulled away and say back down at the table. “I’ll only slow you down.”
Footsteps and voices were heard from the trap door.
“Go!” Hissed Oswald.
Edward finally did as told and found a ladder on the side of the building. Oswald smiled at Ed one final time as Ed disappeared down the building.
“GCPD!” A man yelled as he busted open the trap door.
Oswald watched as two men climbed up through the opening in the roof. One man was fairly older than the other with a grey and brown beard, the younger one had slick brown hair and eyes that teared into Oswald’s soul. They immediately pointed their guns at an unamused Oswald.
“I see you still have no manners.” Oswald sighed and crossed his arms.
“Where’s the green freak, Penguin?” The older man asked clearly out of breath.
“I have no idea what you’re talking about. Now if you excuse me, my food is getting cold.” Oswald picked up a container of spicy mustard.
“Cut the shit, Cobblepot. I figured out Ed’s riddle. He should be here. I suggest you tell us or I can drag your ass back to Arkham.” The younger one was obviously not in the mood.
Oswald turned to both of the men. “As much as I would love to help you with whatever adventure you’re on now, I’m kind of busy currently.” Oswald said with a mouthful of food. “You’re not very good at your job, Jim. I expect this much from a buffoon like Harvey, but not you. Nygma and I are enemies. Don’t worry I’ll find him and when I’m done I’ll send you what’s left.” Oswald hoped Ed was long gone, so he couldn’t hear the terrible things being said about him.
“You say that, but here you are at a table set for two. I was there 4 years ago when you and Nygma were buddies. I know he’s here, Oswald.” Jim Gordon took out a pair of handcuffs and cuffed Oswald to a pipe connected to the building.
Oswald was about to tell Gordon otherwise when he was interrupted by the Riddler’s booming voice over what sounded like a megaphone. “Detective Gordon and the other imbecile there’s still one final problem! You have 8 minutes and 45 seconds to stop my bomb from going off. I gave you more time since you have a Harvey with you, Gordon. You better hurry or all the people trapped inside will die. Good luck, you’ll need it.”
A building a half block away lit up with green.
Oswald turned back to the detectives and pleaded. “Don’t you dare leave me here. If that maniac finds me, I won’t be able to defend myself.”
“Don’t get my hopes up Penguin.” Harvey said as he quickly dropped down the trap door.
Gordon stared at Oswald as if he knew what was happening. “You can run, but I’ll find you guys.” Jim promised as he disappeared down the hole after Harvey.
Edward climbed back onto the building as the detectives raced to the green building. He quickly ran over and uncuffed Oswald.
“I told you to get out of here!” Oswald yelled.
Edward only ignored him and pulled him down where Jim and Harvey exited earlier. Once they were out of the building Ed picked Oswald up and ran. He didn’t know where he was going, but Edward knew he had to get them out if there.
“Edward Nygma stop ignoring me and put me down at once!” Oswald screamed.
Ed kept running. Tonight was the night he was going to propose. He wouldn’t let Jim or his own mistakes ruin it.
After about a mile and a half of running and taking quick breaks, Ed suddenly stopped realizing where he had taken them. The dock haven’t changed in years.
“Why do you never listen?!” Oswald shouted as he broke free from Ed.
Ed stared at the water in front of them. How could he have taken them here? Memories Ed tried to forget every night flooded into his head all at once. He heard Oswald’s voice begging him not to pull the trigger.
Oswald watched as Edward fell to the ground. “Damn it. We don’t have time for this. They’ll corner us if we don’t leave now, Ed.”
Oswald tried to push his own memories of the dock away, but couldn’t. So he sat next to Ed and watched as police lights get closer.
Oswald put his hand on Ed’s. “It’s going to okay, Eddie. We can’t let the past ruin our future.”
“You’re right Ossie, like always.” Edward smiled. What happened in the past is the past. This place doesn’t have to be a hurtful reminder. Maybe it could be a happy beginning.
Edward put his other hand into his pocket and felt the ring as Oswald stood up to face the nearing ever closer GCPD. An idea pushed its way into his head, it was crazy, but he had to do it.
“Oswald do you remember when you told me that we needed each other, that one couldn’t exist without the other?” Oswald heard Ed’s shakey voice behind him.
“Yes then you shot me.” Oswald stated coldly not wanting to remember the past.
“It took me four years to realize that you were right. I need you Oswald.” Ed’s voice was now cracking as if he was about to cry.
Oswald saw Jim running towards them in the distance. Oswald spun around to face Edward. “What the hell-” Oswald stopped mid sentence. Edward was on one knee.
Oswald choked back sobs of joy, “Edward Nygma I swear to God if you propose to me with a god damn riddle I will shove you into the water.
“What needs two to work, falls apart with one, and ends only at death?” Edward smiled proud of his riddle and pulled out the ring.
“Screw you Nygma.” Oswald sobbed.
“Is that a yes?” Edward pressed.
“Yes, you big idiot!” Oswald yelled as he ran into Edward’s arms.
“Wait Nygma and Cobblepot are a thing?!” Harvey yelled out of breath from running. Harvey opened his wallet and pulled out 20 dollars.
“I told you.” Jim Gordon sighed and took the money from Harvey.
They had a bet on if Edward and Oswald ever got together. Jim may have left the part out where he saw the two singing together in Ed’s apartment.
Edward paid no attention to the GCPD and kissed Oswald.
“Can I shoot them now?” Harvey joked wanting to go home.
“It’s too much extra paper work, Harv.” Jim sighed again.
“You’re just mad, because Nygma and Cobblepot got a happy ending, but you and Lee didn’t.” Harvey laughed suddenly enjoying the situation.
Jim turned to one of the officers. “Make sure those two are far away from each other in Arkham.” He turned back to Harvey “I need that drink now.”
“Now you’re talking. Have fun on your honeymoon in Arkham.” Harvey said following Gordon back to his cop car.
Oswald responded with a gesture that Harvey sadly didn’t see.
The Riddler and the Penguin were then apprehended and taken to Arkham. They were both out in record time.