may or may not have spent over an hour deciding which two books to buy

Aphrodisiac pt1

Originally posted by melanielovesgaysempai

Description :After exhausting all of your financial resources, you end up resorting to donating blood just so you can get by. It turned out well until you found yourself faced with the question of whether or not you wanted to become a personal blood bank to someone who has possibly become addicted

Pairing : Vampire Jin x Reader

Word Count : 1,608

Genre : angst, humour, (eventual) smut

a/n : It’s shitty…but it’s a start. It’ll get better I swear.

You sat there anxiously, picking at the lint on the sleeves of your oversized sweater. The silence in the room may have been comforting or soothing to those around you but for you it was hell. It left you alone with nothing but your way too loud thoughts ringing in your ears asking the question of whether or not you were actually this desperate for money. There had to be another option.

You almost snorted at that, shaking the thought away. It was either this or stripping.  Seeing as though you couldn’t be sexy even if your life depended on it, you should probably keep your non-existent ass where you currently were.

To any normal person you may look like any other 23 year old girl sitting in the waiting room of a doctor’s office for an appointment. However, you weren’t. In fact you were a broke ass, barely getting by on ramen ass, 23 year old art major sitting in the room of a blood bank for vampires, waiting to see if your blood was clean enough to donate, so you could get some money to pay your rent because life’s a bitch, and you’d prefer to not be sleeping in a cardboard box for the winter.

To say you’d had it hard for the past two years since coming to university would be an understatement. Balancing work and school to pay your tuition was not easy task but somehow you had managed.

Until about 2 months ago, when your former boss had offered you a raise if you’d blow him in the supplies closet, which resulted in him having a bloody nose and you being a jobless bitch.

Now here you were, behind on your rent, empty cupboards and not knowing where the first dime would come from. You’d been scanning the newspaper trying to find another job when you first saw the advertisement. At first it looked a little absurd to you with bold letters saying you could donate a pint of blood to help feed the city’s vampire population and get paid for your donation.You didn’t know much about vampires, apart from the basic knowledge that they drank human blood. The thought was a bit off putting to you at first, but after about a week of contemplation, fueled by your growing hunger and multiple threats from your landlord, you had eventually caved and made the trip down to the clinic.

They’d drawn a sample of your blood for testing to see if it was fit for donation. Depending on your results, they would class your blood based on its quality and pay you according to which class you fell in.

You’d read multiple stories of persons who had gotten up to 3 grand for a pint of blood because of how high quality it was. You prayed to God that the months of eating ramen, bread and animal crackers hadn’t messed with your health too much, because if you ended up getting $50 for some crappy blood, you were just gonna lay in the road.

“Ms. y/l/n?”

You flinched as you heard your name being called. Looking up, you met the steady stare of the receptionist as she indicated for you to come over. She smiled softly at you as she held out a slip of paper and a pen.

“Congratulations you’ve been approved for donation. You just have to fill out this consent form and then go to the white door on your left and you’ll be given further instructions from there” she stated ,as she began indicating to specific parts of the paper and explaining them to you.

Within the span of the next 4 hours you were back into your apartment, curled up under a blanket and eating actual food. You’d been nervous about the whole thing, but before you knew it, it was over and you were walking towards the bank with a check for $2000 clutched in your hands. The only sign you had that you’d given blood was the patch on your arm and the lingering weakness you felt in your bones. You’d had enough to pay for the rent you’d owed and to buy food to last for at least a month.

For the first time in 2 months you didn’t have a massive dark cloud of anxiety looming over your head, and you might as well enjoy it while it lasted. As soon, as the high from this wore off you knew you’d be back to anxious, depressed mess as you searched for a job. You’d spent the last of your savings to make the deadline for the tuition payments so at least that was out of the way. Buy u still needed supplies, food and rent money. Working at your last job may have been hell but the pay was decent and it had been enough to let u live somewhat comfortably. It wasn’t going to be easy finding another one that paid so well.

Just thinking about it made your head throb and you just decided to just leave it for another day.

Two weeks had passed and you still hadn’t found a job. It was getting closer to the beginning of your semester and you were this close to just donating more blood. You were less than 2 weeks away and you had no books, no supplies, nothing.

It’s not like you could beg your parents for help. They’d been adamant about disowning you if you went into anything outside of business field. They told you that you wouldn’t survive without their support and you weren’t about to let 2 years worth of proving them wrong go down the drain.

You grunted as you dragged yourself from your small couch to the kitchen to drown your sorrows in a tub of cookies and cream ice cream. 

You were almost halfway down the tub when you felt your phone vibrate beside you. You hit the accept button without looking at the number.

“Ms.Y/L/N,?” you heard the familiar voice of the receptionist from the clinic say. You instantly shot up, every possible worst case scenario flitting through your brain. She hadn’t even said anything and you losing your shit over absolutely nothing.

“I’m calling on behalf of Dr. Choi, the head of the clinic. There are a few things he’d like to discuss with you regarding the donation you made and the client who received it. He’d like to meet with you as soon as possible. is there anytime that you will be free to come down to the clinic this week?” she inquired. You eyed the clock on the wall across from you. It was just a little after 1.

“I’m free at the moment actually. I could come now, I mean if it’s ok with him” You hoped she said yes, if you didn’t see him today, all the possible reasons why he wanted to speak to you would have kept you wide awake all night. And your really weren’t in the mental state for anymore sleepless nights. 

You could hear her fingers tapping furiously against the keys of the keyboard as she paused, telling you to hold for a minute while she checked his schedule.

“That would be perfect actually. He has a free slot at 2:45.” You thanked her for calling you and hung up, assuring her you’d be there. 

You quickly got dressed and took a short walk to the bus stop. The whole time you were in the bus your brain started coming up with all the possible ways you could have fucked this one up.Maybe they wanted their money back because your blood poisoned someone. Could you even poison a vampire? But if you killed someone, that technically makes you a murderer and murderers go to prison.


You weren’t cut out for prison. You weren’t even cut out for life for God’s sake. You buried your face in your palms. You’re being way too extra right now. All of those reasons were dumb. You took a deep breath in an attempt to steady your erratic heartbeat. There was nothing to be worried about. They didn’t want the money back, you hadn’t killed anyone and you weren’t going to prison. 

It was easier to convince yourself once you were seated across from Dr.Choi in his office.

He looked to be in his early 40′s, his neatly cut black hair littered with patches of white and grey, tall and broad shouldered with sharp eyes that still somehow held enough warmth to put your troubled mind at ease.

“I’m glad you were able to meet with me this quickly despite the short notice. You must be wondering why you were summoned so suddenly “. He sighed and leaned back in his chair. You tapped your foot against the mahogany floor boards, waiting for what he had to say.

”As you know, we are a blood clinic who’s sole purpose is to keep the vampire population well fed. The blood is distributed randomly to the population based on the class of blood they order. Therefore every time they get a supply it’s from a completely different person. However, there are some cases in which a vampire receives a specific bag of blood, and they find it particularly… enticing. They want more of it and they feel like if they couldn’t get another taste of the blood they’d go insane. They become addicted in a sense. So they request a blood bond contract with the individual who donated the blood. It’s a very common occurrence actually. This is the case with you. You’ve been requested for a blood bond contract"

“Stupid Nephilim” or why Magnus might maybe kinda sorta could be playing Double-Oh Warlock

Okay, I’m gonna preface this by saying I don’t necessarily believe that Magnus is playing double agent. I’d like to, but I don’t. Because everything he’s doing right now can easily be explained by his combination of trauma and sense of betrayal and duty. Occam’s Razor is a thing, y’know? The simplest explanation is most likely the correct one.

Also, the pure fact of the matter is, we put a lot more thought into the random threads of unused detail and plot potential that the show leaves lying around than the writers and producers ever have or will (see also: the entirety of my Sebastian meta.)

However, this seems to be a popular theory, and my analytical brain can’t stop trying to see if I can make the pieces it. If I were to buy into it (which, again, I don’t) I’d need more than just “I don’t like the way Magnus was behaving, therefore [conspiracy theory]” as my rationale.

So…if we’re gonna do this, let’s fucking do this. Let’s break this shit down.

POINT #1: Is Magnus behaving in-character in 2x19?

The answer is no…and yes.

Our two examples of how Magnus behaves when he’s “heartbroken” (though I submit at that point he didn’t truly have reason to be “heartbroken” yet) come from 1x11 and 1x12.

In 1x11, he’s very salty and resigned to begin with, but by the end of the episode, he’s moved past that and is instead trying to appeal to Alec with reason.

1x12 picks up with Magnus in that same frame of mind; he’s still trying to get through to Alec. After he’s rebuffed, though, he gets salty again and seems intent on avoiding the whole thing, until Ghost!Ragnor talks some sense into him and he decides to keep fighting.

So, the eye-rolling, avoidant Magnus we see in 2x19 isn’t really a characterization stretch from the bitter, Clave-mocking Magnus of 1x11 and 1x12.

Magnus is not acting out of character.

However, what is missing is the second part of his “heartbreak” cycle. The part where he brushes himself off and tries again. It’s that lack, rather than the salt, that could be our tip-off that something isn’t right on a characterization level.

POINT #2 Is he really heartbroken at all?

I’ve seen some people remarking on the appearance of Magnus’s “heartache drink” in this episode, namely whiskey. Except…it hasn’t actually reappeared.

In 2x13 Dot specifically points out “whiskey rocks” (i.e. whiskey on ice) as Magnus’s heartache drink. In the scenes where Magnus and Dot are drinking, the clinking of ice in their glasses is very conspicuous on the soundtrack.

Magnus serves the whiskey neat to Luke and Raphael and himself at the beginning of this episode. No ice.

So, there’s another possible tip-off that something isn’t what it appears to be. Supposedly “heartbroken” Magnus isn’t drinking his heartache drink.

POINT #3 Implied pillow-talk

According to my painstakingly crafted timeline for the show little less than a week passes between the events of 2x13 and 2x15. In that time, Alec has taken over as Head of the Institute, is following up on the Shadowhunter murders committed by the Seelie, Kaelie, has organized a Downworld cabinet, sent emissaries to the Seelie court, and has spent at least four consecutive nights at Magnus’s apartment.

We see in the first Malec scene of 2x15 that Alec clearly has been discussing the issues he’s dealing with in running the Institute with Magnus. What may be inferred from this is that Alec has shared what Izzy said at the end of 2x13 and what Jace confirmed at the end of 2x14: that there is more to the murders committed by Kaelie and at least one other unknown Seelie than the Shadowhunters are quite grasping.

Magnus, being the Downworld mover and shaker that he is, might have suspected that the Seelie Queen was up to her vine-tattoed eyebrows in whatever that mess was. So when she started talking of antagonizing the Shadowhunters, or courting war with the Shadowhunters, it would have tripped some red flags for him, alerting him that the Seelies have been spoiling for a fight with the Shadowhunters—and even trying to manufacture one—since before this new information about the Soul Sword emerged.

POINT #4 Flashbacks? Or misdirection?

That 2x18 flashback to the morning after Malec’s drinks together in 1x06 always seemed sort of pointless to me, overall. Sure, it contrasted with later events to show the progression of their relationship, but it didn’t feel particularly significant. Unless, that is, we look at one line specifically.

“It’s rare to find a Shadowhunter with such an…open heart.”

At the time, I interpreted that line as Magnus issuing a warning to himself, that he could very easily hurt Alec. Alec is young. Alec is naïve. Alec means well and hasn’t been crushed down by world yet or really confronted by the brutal choices he will one day face. Magnus, however, knows just how harsh those choices may be.

But what if that line has a different meaning entirely?

What is Magnus is noting how Alec can never really hide his true inner self? I mean, in that flashback scene, Alec is trying to portray himself as this grumpy, stoic, defensive asshole who doesn’t care—but just a few hours ago he had done an incredibly selfless thing for someone he only knew tangentially through a girl Alec doesn’t even like.

Baby!Izzy pointed this out as well, in 2x03. Alec is a big ol’ softy with a huge heart who always tries to front like he’s a hardass and never quite pulls it off.

Bottom line? Alec can’t lie for shit.

Now, that isn’t to say that Magnus hasn’t been deceived by him. There’s no way Magnus was faking his pain over Alec’s deception in 2x17. But that isn’t because Alec is a skillful liar; he’s actually a painfully bad liar and even if the viewers hadn’t already had the 411 about the Soul Sword, we would never have bought Alec’s reaction in that scene. Magnus’s pain stems from the fact that he never imagined Alec would do that to him, so he wasn’t looking for it. He was blindsided.

If, hypothetically, Magnus were to try to draw the Seelie Queen out and figure out what her endgame is, Alec absolutely. could. not. be a part of the scheme. She’d see through it in a hot second (also, she tends to have spies everywhere, so, yanno.)

Alec has to believe Magnus has broken up with him and defected to the Seelie Queen’s side.

POINT #5 The opportunity to use an iconic line from the books

At this point in City of Glass, which is where the show is, though they’ve rearranged events considerably, Magnus and Alec were also “on a break.” In the books, Magnus was tired of being with a man who wouldn’t own up to their relationship, which is obviously not relevant here, so the nature of the separation has to be different. But there’s an iconic line from the books that we never got in the show.

In the books, they have this exchange:

“You love me?”

“You stupid Nephilim,” Magnus said patiently. “Why else am I here?”

There has never really been an opportunity to bring that line into the show. But if Magnus has made Alec believe they’re broken up so he can scam the Seelie Queen, there just might be an opportunity to work it in. Book stans would definitely be over the moon to get that exchange.

So, there it is. It’s totally grasping at straws, and I’m sorry, I still haven’t managed to convince myself that this is what’s really going on, but it was an entertaining exercise.

Peter Is Definitely Pining

And Michelle knows exactly how to ruin him. (genderfluid!Spideychelle series)

Previous Part | Masterlist | @friendlyneighbourhood-transbiboy inspired this series  

  • Michelle could talk Peter off a bridge if she wanted to.
  • Maybe that’s a little intense but it blows Peter’s mind that she affects him like this. Peter feels so different around her. It’s like he listens to some part of himself he’s always ignored, some different kid who just wants to let go of his shell and have fun. Even if Michelle can be very stiff, it only brings out his comical side. He lives off getting her to laugh when she doesn’t want to.
  • If there’s one secret for Peter to cling onto about Michelle: she has a very corny sense of humor. She will laugh at anything if you try hard enough.
  • One time, during Chemistry, he put two beakers near each other and pretended they were talking to each other dramatically, concluding in one saying to the other “you’re overREACTING”.
  • Michelle lost her shit in the middle of class.
  • No, he’s wrong. If there’s any cause for concern it’s how addicted he is to her laugh. Or her smile. Or just about anything she does.
  • When he finally confesses his feelings for Michelle, Aunt May tells him he can’t be in love after so little time. He wants to believe her, but being around Michelle is so overwhelming.
  • Telling Aunt May makes it so much harder for them to get privacy. It’s not that she doesn’t trust Peter, but in all honesty Peter doesn’t even trust himself. He doesn’t tell Michelle why they can’t go to his place, but it’s fine because her parents are never home.
  • Being alone with Michelle is difficult because he enjoys it in a way he feels he shouldn’t. He’s confused by everyone’s opinion on the matter. If it’s strange that he caves so easily to Michelle’s words, he can’t understand why. It isn’t as though Michelle wouldn’t be there for him if he wanted something. She would listen to him talk for hours if he needed her to, he knew that.  Even if she tried to act as though they were unattached, Peter knew they were both in deep.
  • This flirting game they were playing was getting dangerous. Peter couldn’t take not being completely hers. She said she wasn’t ready for a relationship, but they spent the days sitting together in class, holding each other as they wasted time during the afternoons, talking on the phone late into the night and meeting every morning for coffee to stay awake during class. They were each other’s every day, even if most of the time they spent together was in a perfect silence.
  • Peter cannot be convinced their attraction is odd. Suggestions range anywhere from their height difference to Michelle’s overpowering nature. Peter doesn’t know what is so confusing to understand about the safety of being with someone like Michelle. Ned is doing his best to get it, and he’s been very supportive of them. Peter just wished it was easier on Michelle to trust that they’d be okay. This is what they both want, he is sure of that.
  • On her birthday, they decide to celebrate quietly. Michelle hates her birthday, and Peter is pretty sure he’s the only one in their year who knows exactly when it is.
  • Peter spends weeks getting her gift. While he wishes he could get her something special, he knows he doesn’t have the money for anything extravagant. For weeks, he jots down her references as to what she’d be reading next or which of her favorite books she couldn’t buy. He goes to every library with his old children’s books, trading in at every book exchange until he can get all of the books on the list.
  • Getting to her apartment is hell under the weight of his heavy backpack, stuffed with her wrapped books, but he makes it just on time. They hide under a blanket fort and watch Back To The Future in silence after Michelle admits she is a closet fan.
  • Peter has his head in her lap, telling himself to stop smiling as she ran her fingers through his hair. Every day they reach new territory and Peter considers this a win. She doesn’t pull away or say he’s pushing for too much between them. He settles into her touch like it’s natural. He even catches her smiling at him every once in awhile.
  • As the movie goes on, Peter gets worried she won’t like the books, that may he’d gotten something wrong on his list or maybe she’d already bought the books in the time it took him to get them. By the time she asks about the size of his backpack, he is ready to just get it over with.
  • He didn’t know what to expect in her reaction, but she practically knocks him over with her embrace. They stare into each other’s eyes momentarily realizing she was never one to show affection.
  • Before Peter can try and rescue the moment, Michelle pushes the thought away by pulling in closer to him. Before long they are sitting up, lips locked, clinging on to each other like the wait had sapped the energy out of them both. The movie is forgotten, the books are pushed away, and the popcorn scatters to the ground as Peter shows Michelle exactly what he’s been holding back.

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I love the Julian story but...hear me out

I really like Julian as a character and am sincerely interested to see where his story goes. In fact, it’s the first book I bought out of the three. Because Julian is adorable and I would like to continue until a full on jumping takes place (I’m not thirsty, you’re thirsty!)

BUT It’s a lot of suspension of disbelief to ask for in order to get through the last scene.

Hear…or read me out. Beware thar be spoilers ahead.

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