may be hard

It had almost escaped my notice that it is now May, the month that dooms to a heartbroken death 99% of characters from folk ballads. So, if you suspect you may be a character from a folk ballad, for your own safety: 

don’t fall in love, don’t go by the river, don’t go to the sea, don’t talk to sailors, don’t gamble, don’t ramble, don’t go North, don’t go North-West, don’t stand in the wind, don’t dance with anyone named Sally, Sue, Mary, Ann, or Barbara, don’t go to the pub (but if you do go to the pub at least don’t drink, and if you do drink at least pay for your own drink, and if you are absolutely broke and have to let someone else pay for your drink then at the very least do try not to forget to toast everyone you know whom you think might be there very loudly and possibly multiple times), don’t lend money, don’t borrow money, don’t wish you had more money, don’t make plans to make more money, don’t start working for a new employer, absolutely do believe anyone who says they will try to kill you, curse you, or maim you, absolutely do believe anyone who says you might die, turn down every invitation to go a-hunting, horse-riding, or a-courting, be wary of flute players you meet on your path, don’t dance with satanic men in black coats, don’t marry off your daughters to the first man who’ll have them, and don’t promise your true love any herbs you can’t readily plant and gather in your own garden. 

There. That should just about cover you for 31 days. Heed the warnings and you may have a chance to last the month. Good luck.

COMING SOON(ish?)
~With Love from St. Petersburg~
Super fluffy domestic life online colour Victuri fanbook 01

7

monsta x members + name meanings

10

Don’t forget Gorillaz fans, Jamie Hewlett exist! He made all you’re favorite band members come to life in the music videos, shorts, ect! He continues drawing them countless times and works day and night to give you new content with the band members! So please appreciate him!!! ❤❤❤

i’ve been wanting to do FE x animal crossing for years and it has happened at last dkjfldf

also have some variants!

My Headcanons on the Dads and Sexuality

Robert: Bisexual, but possibly repulsed by sex. 

  • While he has shown attraction to men (The MC/Joseph,) and women (His deceased wife,) the fact that having sex with him at any point of his route locks you into his bad end, gives me the vibes that sex for him isn’t as pleasurable as it may have once been.

Damien: Asexual.

  • He’s one of the few dads that will not have a sex scene with your MC. While it may be because, at the time, he’s not 100% open to you about him being transgender and fears how you would react (It’s implied by his son, Lucien, that people aren’t exactly the nicest to his dad,) I like to think it’s a case of Damien simply not caring much for sex.

Craig: Gay. Especially for the MC.

  • Yes, Craig was married to “Smashley” for a significant portion of his life, but it’s very possible to still be gay while having past romantic relations with women. The fact that River is so much younger than the Twins also gives an idea that him and Ashley may not have had much of a sex life, further cementing the idea that, while he cared a lot for Ashley, he may not have felt that way specifically for her.

    Oh yeah, and the whole way he’s extremely friendly to the MC, even before the first date, sorta gives me the idea that Craig has a far stronger view on the MC than just “bros.” You can’t tell me you haven’t seen an old college roomie/friend in presumably years (At least one year, since the MC had no idea about Craig and Ashley’s divorce,) but can still immediately recognize them while you’re on a jog. From a distance, no less, considering he was calling out for your attention.

Joseph: Dads.

  • You know why.

Mat: Bisexual, or whatever sexual orientation Vernon Shaw is.

  • Mat had a wife in the past, before her untimely demise. And of course, he shows clear interest in the MC. I can see him being Bi, Pan, or any sort of combo of sexuality that doesn’t just limit on one gender specifically.

    Or, well, since Mat is supposed to be Vernon’s self-insert, his sexuality is whatever sexuality Vernon has. I don’t know, I really don’t keep up with the Grumps.

Hugo: Gay.

  • The only dad to mention he has an ex-husband, over an ex-wife.

Brian: 

  • Brian is one of two dads who we have no idea what their past spouse was like (The other being Damien.) So it’s hard to gauge with that fact. I mean? Maybe he’s Demisexual? Only experiences sexual attraction to people he develops strong emotions for. I could see this, considering the fact he’s one of three dads where sex isn’t an option (Damien and Robert are the others, tho Robert you can still have sex, it’s just real fuckin’ bad to do that.)
4

x

Local Dad Orders a Burger at The Coffee Spoon

(Based on the video: Local dude orders a burger at Starbucks)

Mat: Can I help the next guest please?

Mat: Ah hello sir, welcome to the Coffee Spoon, what can I get for you?

Robert, heavily distorted: Yeah, can I get a motherfuggin’ uhhhhh-hhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Craig and Joseph: *giggling in the background*

Robert, still going strong: hhhhhhhhhhhh, burger?

Craig, Joseph and Brian: *breaks down laughing*

Mat: Sir, we don’t sell burgers here.

Robert, distorted: What do you mean you don’t se- *cuts off*

MC, Craig, Joseph, Brian and Damien: *laughing in unison*

Mat: We sell, we sell paninis and breakfast sandwiches-

Brian: OH MY CARDIAC ARREST.

Mat: -and coffee.

Robert, distorted: You think I know what a panini is!? *white noise*

MC, Craig, Joseph, Brian and Damien: *wheezing in laughter*

Robert, distorted: Just give me a burger! Extra cheese! *more white noise*

Mat: No!

Craig, Joseph and Damien: *giggling now*

Mat: We don’t have burger extra cheese! We have paninis-

Robert, distorted: You don’t understand-

Mat: No!

Robert, distorted: I need this. *white noise*

Mat: Sir!

MC, Craig, Joseph, Brian and Damien: *still giggling*

Mat: I’m gonna have to ask you-

MC, Craig, Joseph, Brian and Damien: *giggling so hard it overpowers Mat*

*Hugo walks in*

Robert, distorted: Why are you suppressing food from the public!? *white noise*

Craig, Joseph, Brian and Damien: *still giggling so much that nothing can be heard*

Hugo: What in the hell did I walk in to?

Joseph: I’M CRYING-

Mat: Do you want coffee? Tea?

Craig, Brian and Damien: *cacophony of giggles*

Joseph: I’m crying…

Hugo: What happened?! Hold on, hold on…

Mat: Can I get you a caramel macchiato?

Robert, distorted: Yeah, I’ll have a burger, extra dip. *white noise*

Mat: We don’t have-

Hugo: Oh my GOD, the voice changer?! Really?!

Craig: I’ll have two number nines, a number nine large…

Joseph: I’m crying, oh my god…

Mat: Sir, this is the Coffee Spoon, not a McFridayz…

Robert, distorted: Please, they’ll take my wife if I don’t give them the burg- *cuts off, white noise*

Craig, Joseph, Brian and Damien: *laughing again*

Mat: Sir! You’re at the wrong store!

Mat, sounding exasperated: You want a McFridayz, not the…

Damien: Why are you buying clothes at the soup store!

Robert, distorted: Hello? *white noise*

Craig, Joseph, Brian and Damien: *burst out laughing again*

Mat: Hello??

Robert, distorted: I would like a burger. *white noise*

Mat: No!

MC, Craig, Joseph, Brian and Damien: *a mixture of laughs and wheezes*

Hugo: Oh my goooooood…

Mat: We sell, we sell coffee, and, and confectioneries here, Jesus Christ…

Hugo: Geez…

Mat: Boss, agdaj, I need to get the Manager…

Craig: Bro, how much of that did you get?

Joseph, Brian and Damien: *quiet giggles*

Robert, now echoing: COMPOUND!

Hugo: Eugh…

Joseph: What?!

MC, Craig and Damien: *wheezing*

Mat: Sir, do you want to-Sir, do you want to speak to the Manager?

Joseph: He’s ordering from the ether…

Mat: He’s ordering a burger-

Robert, distorted again: Can I get a fucking uhhh-

Mat: No…

MC: Oh my god…

Mat: He’s ordering, he’s trying to order a burger with extra dip at the Coffee Spoon…