A story about teen pregnancy
I found out I was pregnant at 17, it threw my whole world into a whirlwind of hell. I had just started grade 12, (it was the second day in) and the news shocked and seemed to impair me from acting on anything. My boyfriend and I had been dating for a couple years but there’s no easy way to take that news especially when you’re still in high school.
So I hid from the situation and didn’t tell anyone other then my mom (I was living with my dad at the time.) The thing is that I just couldn’t imagine ever having an abortion; it just wasn’t the choice for me and I knew I physically couldn’t do it. My mom took that alright but was obviously concerned.
I went fourth with the pregnancy with my mom knowing, a few friends and obviously my doctor. But I knew I had to get my priorities in line and that meant graduating early so I immediately went into the office and found out a way to graduate half a year early. I also informed my place of work that I’d need to move up a position (cashier - there’d be no heavy lifting) I also asked for as many hours as possible, (it was time to save up an emergency fund or as I liked to call - ‘not spending unless we’re living on the streets’ account. A sum of money that isn’t talked about and is never touched.) Being pregnant, the only thing i’d really spend my money on is food anyway.
And then I told my dad and stepmom. They told me they would be there for me for whatever option I wanted. But I always knew I wanted to keep my baby. It was the one thing I needed to do. They didn’t understand that so they festered in resentment. My boyfriend and I decided to get married in the winter, (I was 18 in the fall so I would be 5 and a half months pregnant by the time we got married.)
Kids at school started to find out, either by word of mouth or that I was gaining weight. Still, I tried to hide it and get through school. I started losing friends. At about 4 months along, I couldn’t take the drunken slurs of resentment I received from my stepmom - “your marriage won’t last!” “you’ll be on welfare!” “you can’t live here until you find a place!” and bursts of anger from my dad. I heard through several people that they were planning to kick me out at the end of the month, one month away from my wedding. So I packed a bag and moved out. All the while kids at school were gossiping, staring, and making remarks. But I still made it in to get my work done, and brought my work clothes so I could continue to work. It felt like I was trying to better myself and get everything prepared but I kept getting shoved back. It hurt, but I knew it wasn’t worth losing my possibility of maternity leave or saving money. I was planning on living at a women’s shelter until we moved into our apartment. It was my best option to continue school and work but at last minute my mom swooped in to save me as mothers often do. I lived with my mom and stepdad out in the country and my mom drove me to school and picked me up from work. All the while, we planned the wedding that was fast approaching and maneuvered our way to doctors appointments. My mother was a real god-sent in helping me get on my feet. My husbands family and half of mine were incredibly supportive and helped us get married.
I think the biggest thing I learned with that is that having kids and getting married either brings family and friends closer together or tears them apart. In the instances where people didn’t respect my choice, I cut them out of my life.
My husband and I got married December 21st of 2012. We moved out into a crummy two-bedroom apartment for $900/a month. I continued to work up until my due date, my husband looked into finding a trade to make more money. He did. And he started to work away from home as an apprentice welder. I received my mat leave and started trying to get my licence - I got it at 8 ½ months pregnant, (pretty late but I was still proud that we made it happen.)
Our little girl was born on May 10th 2013. She changed our whole lives in every way, I don’t think I’ve ever known a love as instinctual and deep as the love I have for my daughter. She lights up my world. She gave me light when I suffered for so long in darkness and uncertainty.
The point that I’m trying to get at here is that you may go through hell and back, lose a lot of friends in the process and get hurt over and over but you have to stick to your gut reaction. About everything, careers, babies, marriage, friends, family, but especially about this. You may get beaten down in every sense and it might be hard to go on. It isn’t the easiest path but life isn’t always as clean cut and down the well-trodden path. It can be messy and hard and relentless but its absolutely worth it. Hold onto the wonderful people in your life who don’t leave, and who stay to help you - those people are worth having in your life. Sometimes it takes a pinch of luck, sometimes a little ambition. All in all, it is possible. If this story reaches just one person who is going through turmoil with young pregnancy I would be so happy. My story is maybe not as incredible as some, but we did forge our lives to be everything we wanted it to be, we hit a lucky streak and we had incredible people in our lives who lifted us up and knew we would try our best. You have the ability to do the same. Make your own choices, don’t make any choices based off of anyone else because in the end there’s just you, and you want to look back and be proud of how far you have come. Always stay true to yourself. If you look for a way to make it work, you will find it. There is always a way. The day you pull out of that uncertainty (and it will happen) is the day you finally reach success.