maximum ride iggy

  • looks like a cinnamon roll but could actually kill you: angel
  • looks like they could kill you but is actually a cinnamon roll: iggy
  • looks like a cinnamon roll and is actually a cinnamon roll: nudge
  • looks like they could kill you and can actually kill you: max
You know,” I said slowly, “I’m going to be fifteen tomorrow.”
Blank stares. I guess I hadn’t made the smoothest segue in the world.
“What?” Iggy asked.
“I’m going to turn fifteen tomorrow,” I said, warming to the idea. “It’s high time. I can’t remember when I turned fourteen. We’ve got to start writing this stuff down. Anyway, tomorrow I’m going to be fifteen. So we need a party.”
“If you get to be fifteen, then I get to be fifteen!” Iggy sounded indignant.
I looked at Fang. “Wanna be fifteen?”
His smile melted me. “Yeah.
—  James Patterson, Fang
Had this weird dream last night in which Fang came out to the Flock as, like, transgendered or something, & while everyone else, especially Iggy and Ella, were very supportive Max figured it was a cry for her attention and just kept trying to date him. It went kinda like this:
  • Max: Morning, Fang!
  • Fang: ...Morning...
  • Max: Lookin' good!
  • Fang: Thanks... I borrowed the shirt from your sister.
  • Max: So, I was thinking we could go flying today.
  • Fang: Max, I'm in a skirt. Maybe some other time?
  • Max: We can go to our old make-out spot...
  • Fang: -facepalm- Here we go again... Max, I'm not a lesbian.
  • Max: Of course you're not.
  • Fang: No, Max. Look at me. I'M IN HEELS!
  • Max: Can I have those when we start dating again?
  • Fang: NO. We're not gonna start dating again! I'm a GIRL. And after the fiasco that was our relationship, I'm not dating another girl!
  • Max: Hey, hey, maybe I'M a lesbian.
  • Fang: -eyeroll- No, you're not.
  • Max: Uh-huh!
  • Fang: Fine. Date Nudge.
  • Max: What?
  • Fang: Nudge is a lesbian. Date her.
  • Max: No, she's not.
  • Fang: Yeah, she is. She came out two weeks ago, remember? You've been... Ignoring her, too...
  • Max: She's just trying to get Iggy's attention.
  • Fang: Iggy's gay.
  • Max: What?
  • Fang: Iggy's GAY!
  • Max: I'm sure he's VERY happy Nudge is trying to get his attention. I'm going to go take a shower now. -walks off-
  • Fang: 0.o Wow...
  • Iggy: Yeah, I always thought she was just, like, really oblivious... All this time, she's just in denial...
  • Fang: Yeah...
  • Iggy: Nice skirt, by the way.
  • Fang: -twirls- Thanks!
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • Me: My mind is... So weird... Though, I love the idea of Max's extreme denial. :P
  • Me: Still, like... Yo, mind! What the actual Fnick?
the flock as people you see at a concert

Max: the mom friend; on constant alert, tries to hold everyone’s hand at once to keep them close, sneaks in snacks

Fang: the silent type; crosses his arms and stands still in the mosh pit, blank face, enjoys the concert more than anyone else

Iggy: crowdsurfing

Nudge: researched all the bands, knows all of the lyrics, ends up in the front and doesn’t know whether to be excited or disgusted when the drummer slings sweat in her direction

Gazzy: following Iggy around with his phone out to document the experience, tries to crowdsurf but ends up being thrown around like a beach ball

Angel: unimpressedon the outside, secretly loves the whole experience; someone drops their beer on her halfway through the concert

…Iggy kicked [Fang].
“Ow! Dang it! What’s wrong with you?”
Unerringly, Iggy’s hand shot out and grabbed a fistful of Fang’s shirt. He pulled Fang’s face close to his own. “Describe. The. People.”
“There’s a million people,” Fang said, irritated. “Why? Are you meeting someone in particular here? Should I be looking for a man with a rose in his teeth, holding the New York Times?”
“This is Venice Beach,” Iggy said again. “Home of roller disco. I smell coconut oil. I hear high-pitched giggles. I know we must be surrounded by beach bunnies, and you’re looking at a map!”
Oh.
[…]Sighing, Fang looked around. “Um, okay. There are two girls over there. One’s in a white bikini. One has ‘Utopia’ written across her butt. They have big blonde hair. Um, over there is an Asian girl, skating on rollerblades, with her dog, like a greyhound or something, running beside her. Oops, she almost took out that stroller.”
“What’s she wearing?” Iggy asked.
“A striped bikini.”
“And knee guards,” Gazzy put in.
“Oh man,” Iggy breathed. “More, more.”
[…]
“Um, there’s a girl meeting her friend,” he went on. “Her friend is giving her an ice-cream cone. Oh– it’s dripping. Huh. It, uh, dripped on her… chest.”
Iggy drew in a hissing breath.
—  my favorite passage from any maximum ride book ever aka IGGY CONTROL UR THIRST

I could spend 48 hours explaining why the maximum ride series is sooo shitty and the plot holes are ridiculous and how everything after book 3 makes no sense and why Dylan shouldn’t exist but…
I feel like the characters are separate from the books and I just want them to survive their horrible fate. My Babies.

When Reading Maximum Ride (Spoilers...DUH)

Meet Max

Meet Fang

Meet Iggy

Meet Nudge

Meet The Gasman/Gazzy

Meet Angel

the Flock

They have wings and can fly

But were raised in a lab and their lives suck

That pretty much sums up all 8 books

Lets face it…..The series went down hill after 4

Then…Dylan

But Fax was good :)

Even If the world…just…ended?

Like….what just happened?

Like….does anyone know?

Oh well….We’ll always have Maximum Ride

By that i mean books 1-3