maximum ride

A reader lives a thousand lives before he dies. The man who never reads lives only one.
—  George R.R Martin

When you pick up the first book in a series you read years ago to reread it is the weirdest and best thing.
You can feel yourself being sucked back into something that never went away, but feels new and nostalgic at the same time.
You find the hidden gems and watch the characters fumble and deny and develop while knowing what’s to come

  • Me:i need to cry non-stop for a while over ships, and dead characters.
  • Rational Part of my Brain:Are you sure that's socially acceptable at this hour?
  • Me:...
  • Me:Fuck it, it's 1 o'clock in the morning somewhere.
  • James Patterson:I worked so hard on the whole Maximum Ride series. This talk of plot holes and ghost writers is nonsense. I love the whole Flock! Maximum Ride, -looks at smudged writing on hand- Fnick, -squints harder- Igloo, -tilts head to side- Narwhal, -leans in closer- Gamecube, -stares at black smudge and sweats- and... Carrie.
Max Ride characters as Tumblr Memes
  • Max:*flips a tray of brownies* FIGHT ME HELEN
  • Fang:"and now the weather"
  • Iggy:*stares into the camera like im on the office*
  • Nudge:"Did anyone else have the chicken? I thought the chicken was lovely!"
  • Gazzy:rare pepe and feels guy
  • Angel:"Honestly I came out to have a good time and I'm feeling so attacked right now"
  • Maya:The "What did you fucking say to me you fucking piece of shit?" monologue
  • Ari:The entirity of "Surprise motherfucker" and everything that followed.
  • Jeb:Dad jokes.
  • Dylan:"yall need jesus"

this looks heavy enough for us to hit jp with it if he dares to:

  • kill a member of the flock. even not for real
  • bring up ari back to life just to kill him
  • make fang leave
  • make us scream “fuck you, dylan!!!” out loud
  • get max to feel helpless / desperate / confused / miserable / heartbroken / alone / betrayed / depressed /
    …again. that sounds like at least ten bumps for him to me.
which max ride character should you fight

Max
Who wins: Max.
Honestly, Max is ready to pick a fight with anyone because she thinks everyone is after her. She’s paranoid like that. If you choose to fight her, though, she won’t stop until either you’re dead or she’s unconscious. You should still fight her. Maybe this time it’ll knock some sense into her.

Fang
Who wins: Fang.
If you got into a fight with Fang, you probably deserved it. It was probably because you insulted one of the flock members or you were being a jerk in general. Don’t fight Fang. he fights dirty.

Iggy
Who wins: Iggy.
I MEAN COME ON THE DUDE IS BLIND AND HE CAN STILL TAKE DOWN FULL GROWN MUTANT DOG MEN EASILY. If that doesn’t work, there’s a 99% chance he’s got an explosive on him somewhere. Why would you pick a fight with him, anyway?

Nudge
Who wins: No one.
Why would you want to hurt this precious child? What has she ever done to you?

Gazzy
Who wins: Gazzy.
Like Iggy, this child is eight and he can take down mutants like it’s nothing. When all else fails, he’ll pull a Naruto on you and fart in your face. Do not fight Gazzy.

Angel
Who wins: Angel, but only physically.
FIGHT HER FIHT THE CHILD PUNCH HER IN THE FACE DO IT LORD KNOWS SHES GOT IT FUCKING COMING JUST KNOW THAT AS SOON AS YOU DO THE REST OF THE FLOCK WILL GANG UP ON YOU BUT IT WILL BE SO WORTH IT

Total
Who wins: You.
Fight the dog. Please. Kick the dog into outer space. LETS SEE YOU MAKE FUNNY QUIPS NOW, KIBBLE BREATH. 

Ari
Who wins: Ari
Why are you fighting Ari? Hasn’t he been through enough? Shame on you, you deserve to lose this fight.

Maya
Who wins: Maya.
Go on. Call her Max. I dare you.

Jeb Batchelder
Who wins: You.
D E S T R O Y  H I M

Dylan
Who wins: You.
Knowing him, he’d probably let you win. Fight him to feel better about yourself. Max will cheer you on, probably.