Romeo and Juliet, Mad Max style. The Capulets and the Montagues are different groups fighting over territory and recourses. Prince Escalus is an Imortan Joe type, who controls a huge supply of water. Mercutio and Paris are two of his less gross children, with Mercutio having crazy glam makeup. Tybalt is the Capulet’s greatest warrior. Nurse is a milk mother. Friar Laurence is a blind prophet who lives in one of the few abandoned buildings left from human civilization (a church, completely overtaken by nature).
Romeo is bummed because Rosalind (another great warrior) defeated him in single hand combat (along with almost every other available man) and is so disillusioned that she takes a vow of chastity.
The Capulet’s are throwing a feast, and Juliette’s mother wants her to woo and marry Paris, in order to ensure water for their clan. Mercutio ends up dragging Benvolio and Romeo to the feast, and gives the Queen Mab speech while speeding recklessly through the wasteland in their badass Montague rig.
Juliet is attracted to Romeo because she feels like he doesn’t see her as either a challenge or a baby factory. Romeo is attracted to her because she doesn’t care if he’s not the strongest. Instead of flirting from her balcony, Romeo has to scale the wall of the iron death fortress that is The Capulet’s home to speak to her. In the meantime, Mercutio and Benvolio steal a Capulet rig and have their own little romantic rendezvous (aka they drag race and make out).
When Tybalt kills Mercutio, he doesn’t just stab him, he straight up RIPS out a chunk of his stomach. Romeo beats him to death with his bare fists. Escalus forces him to leave his home instead of brutally killing him.
Friar Laurence creates the fake death plan, but the messenger he spends to alert Romeo is killed by raiders. Juliet’s body is kept in a chamber inside her home, as it is prepped for a funeral pier. Romeo kills several people, INCLUDING Paris, to get to her.
Everything is SUPER stylized and gory. Like, the landscape of Fury Road with the costumes and makeup of Thunderdome. Half the lines are screamed. Instead of dancing at the Capulet feast, it’s fighting.
Mad Max: R&J