max is looking right at me

No matter how many times it happens, I still get so many kicks from watching Lukas take 0 damage from various physical attackers before retaliating with a crushing Ignis. (Bonfire may charge faster, but 80% boost from your defense stat? SIGN ME RIGHT UP.)  I mean, look at that blandly smiling face as Donnel attempts to stick him with his own Brave Lance. Damn, what a man.

Yes, he faints at even the merest magical sneeze in his direction, but if you need a human wall? Look no further than Biceps Barrier here. His Special catchphrases only make it all the better. ❤ 

I’m still farming SP to max out his Fortress Def, and I need to get an assist skill on him (still hovering between Swap and Reposition), but I think it’s safe to say Lukas has effectively propelled himself up to Robin-tier for me.

Drabble List

So I just finished posting the last of the previous volley of drabbles so I decided to come up with a new prompt list. It’s mostly a hodge-podge of stuff from my own brain or inspired by songs or different shows and stuff but there are some from other prompt lists so, if anyone wants me to give credit, drop me a message and I’ll be sure to do so.

  1. “If you had asked me to stay, I would’ve.”
  2. “You’re too good for this world.”
  3. “Could you be happy, here, with me?”
  4. “How long do we have?”
  5. “Do you think we’re bad people?”
  6. “How did we become this?”
  7. “I can hardly stand myself.”
  8. “Go to hell.”
  9. “I know it doesn’t seem like it, but I’m going to take care of you.”
  10. “There was a time before all of this.”
  11. “No one will ever believe us.”
  12. “Don’t come near me or I swear I’ll kill you.”
  13. “My hobby is making fun of you when you talk.”
  14. “I used to do a lot of things.”
  15. “It doesn’t matter. You’ve moved on and I have to be okay with that.”
  16. “Do you wish things had happened differently?”
  17. “Don’t you dare look him in the eye.”
  18. “I’ll be here as long as it takes.”
  19. “We were never meant to fight on our own.”
  20. “Something’s clearly wrong.”
  21. “There’s nothing I can do anymore.”
  22. “This is going to hurt.”
  23. “I don’t need to be the hero tonight.”
  24. “Am I ever going to see you again?”
  25. “We always have a choice.”
  26. “You’re holding back.”
  27. “I don’t want to feel like this tomorrow.”
  28. “Is that a threat?”
  29. “If you don’t like this world then change it.”
  30. “Are you kidding me? We’re not fine!”
  31. “You may be an idiot, but you’re my idiot.”
  32. “Keep your eyes on me.”
  33. “You can lie to yourself but don’t lie to me.”
  34. “I wish I couldn’t feel a damn thing.”
  35. “If you make one more stupid pun, I will literally stab you.”
  36. “I wasn’t going to mention it.”
  37. “I tried my best to not feel anything for you. Guess what? I failed.”
  38. “I’m here for you.”
  39. “What are you so happy about?”
  40. “That’s not what I meant and you know it!”
  41. “You’re putting words in my mouth!”
  42. “We have to stick together.”
  43. “We’ll get through this. I promise.”
  44. “Don’t leave me behind.”
  45. “What are you looking at?”
  46. “How did you find me?”
  47. “Who did this to you?”
  48. “I don’t want to be alone right now.”
  49. “I have to tell you something.”
  50. “I need more time.”
  51. “You deserve better than me.”
  52. “This isn’t fair!”
  53. “If you kill them, you’d better kill me too, because otherwise I’m going to kill you.”
  54. “Please don’t shut me out.”
  55. “You are my best friend in the whole world, okay?”
  56. “Don’t you dare die on me!”
  57. “I don’t want to talk about it.”
  58. “You’re out of your damn mind.”
  59. “No one can hurt me like you can.”
  60. “You are my sunshine.”
  61. “This is all my fault.”
  62. “Please, don’t cry.”
  63. “Maybe I can’t fix you but that doesn’t mean I’m not going to try.”
  64. “You should see this.”
  65. “You make me feel invincible.”
  66. “I’ll keep you safe.”
  67. “Don’t look at me like that.”
  68. “Let’s do something crazy.”
  69. “We are not going to steal someone’s dog.”
  70. “Do you trust me?”
  71. “You don’t get to pick and choose. You’re stuck with me.”
  72. “You know I’m gonna win, right?”
  73. “Don’t underestimate what a person can do to protect those they care about.”
  74. “I didn’t mean what I said.”
  75. “Do you ever follow directions?”
epiphany | jungkook

Pairing: Jungkook + Reader 

Genre: Fluff + college au 

Word Count: 3.6k 

Part: | 1 | 2 |  

Summary: You hated his guts, especially after he ruined your chance at getting a good grade in one of your toughest classes. But why did your heart beat a little faster every time you saw him? And why did he feel the same way?

Reader’s POV

“I’m afraid I’m going to have to give you a failing grade, Y/N…” Mr.Ransford frowned,“ You should’ve saved your work somewhere separately you know?”

You gaped at him in complete shock, as everything came crashing down on you.

“B-but you don’t understand! It wasn’t my fault-” you stammered, your hands flailing around in a frenzy as you attempted to explain your dire situation to your psychology professor.

“Y/N, I’m sorry I’m afraid we can’t discuss this right now, I have a class in 2 minutes. We’ll talk later, hm?” he said as you sighed, your shoulders slumping in utter defeat.

He patted your shoulders in sympathy as you walked out of the door, tears welling up in your eyes as you thought of all your hard work that was now flushed down the drain. All because of one boy.

That damn Jeon Jungkook.

—-

“YAH!” you yelled, raging, as you approached the boys, a deadly glare in your eyes as you grabbed Jungkook by the collar of his tshirt. Pulling him up from the bleachers where him and the rest of his friends were sitting, all of them gasped, mouths going agape as they witnessed their golden maknae get manhandled by you.

“Y/N~What a pleasure,” Jungkook said, giving you a lazy smirk.

Your blood boiled at the audacity the boy had, to address you in such a way, after he had destroyed your chance at a good grade- heck a good year of college. Without thinking first, you lifted your hand and slapped him across the face, the contact shooting vibrations of pain down your arm as the noise echoed in the air. Immediate silence followed, everyone looking at the two of you with rounded eyes as Jungkook himself, was in shock.

You stood there, your chest rising up and down, breathing heavy as you glowered at him. His hands flew to his cheek as he let out a stream of curse words, his gaze landing on yours, fire kindling in his eyes as he reddened in embarrassment.

Keep reading

dancing-thru-clouds  asked:

I would like for you to tell stupid tourist stories? Your story-telling style is very engaging.

First of all, thank you very much!

Since flattery will get you pretty much anywhere, allow me to tell you The Tale Of Jar-Jar.

The First year my family moved to Colorado, my family decided to take the annual summer camping trip to Yellowstone, now that we were on the right side of the rockies for it.  So we pile into the car with all my mom’s immortal camping gear from the 70′s (srsly, I still have the Colemann stove and cooler.  They work perfect)  and Cody,The Gentleman Shepherd.  

Due to Wyoming looking mostly like the ugly parts of Mad Max, we got onto the wrong highway and arrived after dark.  Cody waited patiently in the backseat rather than set up in the rain.  Gentlemanly.

The next morning, Mom is doing something miraculous with the Colemann and there is a breakfast of pancakes, eggs and bacon.  The sun is shining.  The birds are singing.  All is serene and beautiful. 

Then the people in the next site pull up.   They arrive in a Brand-spanking new Ford Pickup towing a trailer that looks like it was salvaged of a 50′s atomic test field.  The Husband emerges first and…

I don’t like judging people based on appearance but Man, when a dude walks out of a pickup wearing a confederate flag hat, and half of a mullet one tends to make assumptions.  

The eldest child came out next, a boy of about 12, with a rat-tail.
Followed by his brother, a boy of about 10, with a rat-tail
Followed by his brother, a boy of about 8, with a rat-tail.
Followed by his brother, a boy of about 6, with a rat-tail.
Followed by his brother, a boy of about 4, with a rat-tail.

The wife finally emerges, looking like death warmed over and carrying a boy of about two, with a rat-tail.  It is unclear if she has poor posture or if she is pregnant again.  The Boys capable of standing all immediately do so at the border of our site, staring covetously at my bacon.

Finally, with a loud plop and wheezing noise, comes thier dog, for a given value of dog.  Pugs are not terribly healthy-looking creatures at the best of times, but this poor thing looked like the canine equivalent of a Hapsburg.  One eye was so bulged as to be permanently wall-eyed, and his jaw jutted out in front of him at a distressingly kapakahi angle. 

“C’mere Jar-Jar!” hollers the Husband.

“Good God.” muttered my father.

The adults proved over the course of the next hour to be loathsome creatures- Husband was constant’y screaming at the boys the “fuckin’ get me the thing, you little-”  then getting mad when asked for clarification on ‘which thing?’.  The Wife was a non-stop stream of complaint- the sun is too hot, the shade is too cold, the tent is too far, the birds are too loud, and everything is awful, I’m going to complain to the ranger.  Eventually they got their camp set up, and Husband cracked his first beer of the day as we finished locking the bear box and leaving to hike.  It was about 10 AM.

We return some hours later to a very animated discussion between Wife and the Camp Supervisor about “I have rights you know!” vs. “Ma’am, we are under an extreme fire danger warning, and Fireworks have been banned in the park for ages.”  Jar-Jar, eager to avoid any outbursts, has scuttled under our bear box, wheezing in agitation.  Cody, ever gallant, positions himself between Jar-Jar and his mistress, doing his best impression of a Real Shepherd Who Isn’t Scared of Mice and Snowflakes.  Husband is unseen, but there are several beer cans in the fire grate.

That evening’s campfire, normally a time to listen to nocturnal wildlife and the Quiet noises of wild places, is instead a time to listen to drunken racist jokes, a sobbing toddler and Husband screeching “SAY AI WANNIT” whilst dangling scraps in front of jar-jar, until the dog stood on his legs and danced, garbling “Ai-Wa-War”  in a voice that sounded less like a bark and more like late-stage emphysema, before collapsing on what looked like sore joints.

Late that night, my parents discuss packing up and looking for a site in Teton down the road over the sounds of half-assed drunken sex.

The boys, in spite of their parents, are well mannered, intelligent and engaging to talk to, and seem content to frolic in the woods around the site, examining rocks and plants and the occasional insect.  Dad has a nice time telling them about the Yellowstone supervolcano whilst their parents have vanished to parts unknown.  Jar-jar remains off-lead and un-collared the entire time, huffing and puffing as he tries to keep up.  Still, five boys is perhaps too much attention for an elderly pug, and the too-hard petting and pulling of ears and tail and suchlike is tolerated with an exasperated whine and vacations under our bear-box. 

The second night, Husband was furious about something, cursing up a storm and throwing things and generally having a tantrum.  The eldest boy said something to him and he bore down on him, hand raised and screaming something about ‘useless pieces of shit.”
-When they were interrupted by my mother stepping into their site, all four feet eleven inches of ill-contained fury, staring him down.

“I was wondering.”  She said, eyes not moving from him. “If I could borrow some matches.”
“Ours got wet.” Dad added, immediately behind her, less as support than restraint.

I remember how ghastly quiet the woods got for a moment there, watching the scene unfold from behind Cody, the only sounds the campfire and crickets.

“Uh, yeah.  Matches.”  The Wife muttered, and it was enough to get Husband to back down.

“You have lovely children.”  Dad continued.  “Very smart, very polite.”
“You must be so blessed.” My mother adds, only slightly spitting the word.

My parents take the matches and talk a bit longer but I couldn’t hear.  Husband gave up, flopping down in his chair, but not before giving Jar-Jar a kick.

The next morning, as my family was packing up to head down to Teton instead, The Eldest boy approached us, concerned.

“Sir?”  he asked dad.  “Have you seen jar-jar?”

We hadn’t actually, his gravely groveling notably absent that morning at breakfast.  My sister and I went on a search with the boys through the camp, but to no avail.  We did find Wife, complaining to the campground host that there were too many wild animals around.  In the National Park.  Saddened and trying to give the boys some hope that perhaps jar-Jar had not been eaten by the coyotes, we left.

On the way out the main gate, we ended up behind a Buick with Florida plates, driven by a couple well into their octogenarian period, at about seven miles per hour.  As they stopped at the checkout gate, clearly asking for directions, a dog climbed up to sit in the back window.  A fat, lop-sided, wall-eyed little Pug, looking entirely too pleased with himself.

And that’s the story of how Jar-jar escaped the Hell family to Florida.

6
LoS Part 1: Snippets from Tumblr

From tumblr:

1.  “Actually, it’s short for Maximum Lightwood,” said Magnus. “As in the most amount of Lightwood you can have.”

2.  Far below them the world spun by, a patchwork of summer-gold fields, green hills, and luminous, winding rivers of blue and green. It was beautiful, but Julian could not take his eyes off his brother. So this is the Wild Hunt, he thought. This freedom, this expanse, this ferocity of joy. For the first time, he understood how and why Mark’s choice to stay with his family might not be an easy one. For the first time he thought in wonder of how much his brother must love him after all, to consider giving up the sky for his sake.

3. And even odder, when Mark and Kieran had come into the library, Kieran had gone immediately over to Max and picked him up, delighted by his blue skin and his tiny horns.Max had stuck his hand into Kieran’s wavy hair and pulled. Kieran had just laughed. “That’s right, it changes color, little nixie-like warlock,” he said. “Look.” And his hair went from blue-black to blue in an instant. Max giggled.“I didn’t know you could do that on purpose,” said Mark, who had always thought of Kieran’s hair as a reflection of his moods, uncontrollable as the tides.“You don’t know a lot of things about me, Mark Blackthorn,” Kieran said, setting Max down.Alec and Magnus had exchanged a look at that, the sort of look that made Mark feel as if they had reached a silent and agreed-upon consensus …

4.  “You’re going to have to learn to live with it,” Jules said. “Even if it horrifies you, Emma. Even if it makes you sick. Just like I’m going to have to live with whatever other boyfriends you have, because we are forever no matter how, Emma, no matter what you want to call what we have, we will always be us.”

5. They threw their weapons down and hurled themselves toward the row of horses, one after the other — Livvy leapt at Julian, throwing her arms around his neck. Mark flung himself from his horse and landed to find himself being hugged tightly by Dru and Tavvy. Ty came more quietly, but with the same incandescent happiness on his face. He waited for Livvy to be done nearly strangling her brother and then stepped in to take Julian’s hands.And Julian, who Kit had always thought of as an almost frightening model of control and distance, grabbed his brother and yanked him close, his hands twisting in the back of Ty’s shirt. His eyes were shut, and Kit had to look away.He had never had anyone but his father, and he was sure beyond any words that his father had never loved him like that.

6. “Clary, what are you not telling me?”There was a long silence. Clary looked out toward the dark water, biting her lip. Finally, she spoke. “Jace asked me to marry him.”“Oh!” Emma had already begun opening her arms to hug the other girl when she caught sight of Clary’s expression. She froze. “What’s wrong?”

7. There was a long silence. Magnus sighed. “I have to hand it to you,” he said. “I never thought Jace and Clary would be topped by anyone else in terms of insane, self-destructive decisions, but you all are giving them a run for their money.”“I really had nothing to do with this,” Kieran pointed out stiffly.“I think you will find many poor decisions led you here, my friend,” Magnus said. “All right, you — all of you — wait here. And don’t do anything stupid.”He strode out of the room on long, black-clad legs, swearing under his breath.“He’s getting more and more like Gandalf,” said Emma, watching him go. “I mean, a hot, younger-looking Gandalf, but I keep expecting him to start stroking his long white beard and muttering darkly.

8. There was a commotion atop the pavilion, and a single blast from a horn shattered the murmuring quiet in the clearing. The gentry looked up. A tall figure had appeared beside the throne. He was all in white, salt-white, with a doublet of white silk and gauntlets of white bone. White horns curled from either side of his head, startling against the blackness of his hair. A gold band encircled his forehead.Cristina exhaled. “The King.”Emma could see his profile: it was beautiful. Clear, precise, clean like a drawing of something perfect. Emma couldn’t have described the shape of his eyes or cheekbones or the crook of his mouth, and she lacked Jules’ ability to paint it, but she knew it was uncanny and wonderful and that she would remember the face of the King of the Seelie Court for all of her life.He turned, bringing his face into full view. Emma heard Cristina gasp faintly. The King’s face was divided down the middle. The right side was the face of a handsome young man, luminous with youth and beauty. The left side was an inhuman mask, gray skin tight and leathery over bone, eyesocket empty and black, mottled with red scars.Kieran, bound to the tree, looked once at the monstrous face of his father and turned his head away, his chin dropping, tangled dark hair falling to hide his eyes.

9. When Emma came out into her bedroom, wearing sweatpants and a tank top and rubbing her hair dry with a green towel, she found Mark curled up at the foot of her bed, reading a copy of Alice in Wonderland.He was wearing a pair of cotton pajama bottoms that Emma had bought for three dollars from a vendor on the side of the PCH. He was partial to them as being oddly close in their loose, light material to the sort of trousers he’d worn in Faerie.If it bothered him that they also had a pattern of green shamrocks embroidered with the words GET LUCKY on them, he didn’t show it. He sat up when Emma came in, scrubbing his hands through his hair, and smiled at her.Mark had a smile that could break your heart. It seemed to take up his whole face and brighten his eyes, firing the blue and gold from inside.“A strange evening, forsooth,” he said.Emma put her hands on her hips. “Don’t you forsooth me.”

10. “It can’t last,” Emma said, staring at him, because how could it, when they could never keep what they had? “It’ll break our hearts.”He caught her by the wrist, brought her hand to his chest. Splayed her fingers over his heart. It beat against her palm, like a fist punching its way out of his ribcage. “Break my heart,” he said. “Break it in pieces. I give you permission.”

11. “I have always needed you, Kieran,” Mark said. “I have needed you to live. I’ve always needed you so much, I never had a chance to think about whether we were good for each other or not.”Kieran sat up. “That is honest,” he said, finally. “I cannot fault you there.”

12. Cristina spread her hands apart in bewilderment, and winced. Mark’s expression turned to one of concern.“You’re not in pain?” he said.“No,” she said. “Are you?”“You’re near me,” he said. “There is no reason for me to hurt.”

13.  “I know.” Mark brushed his lips across her forehead. Cristina could feel his heart pounding. “We’ll figure it out. We’ll fix it.”

14.  Kieran sat up rather reluctantly. The waves of his hair had lightened to blue; he turned around, and leaned back against Mark, rather as if they were on horseback and Mark was behind.

15. Kieran shook his head. “I cannot do it,” he said.“Kier —“ Mark began angrily, but Kieran had his head down, like a beaten dog. His hair fell, sweat-tangled, into his face, and his shirt and the waist of his breeches were soaked in blood. “You’re bleeding again. I thought you said you were healing?”“I thought I was,” Kieran said softly. “Mark, leave me here —“A hand touched Mark’s shoulder. Cristina. She had put her knife away. She looked at him, levelly. “I’ll help you get him over the wall.”

16. “Not one of my best,” said Magnus, to Kieran. “I apologize — I’m not a big fan of your father’s.”“My father does not have fans.” Kieran leaned against the edge of the table. “He has subjects. And enemies.”“And sons.”“His sons are his enemies,” said Kieran, without inflection.

Overprotective

Drabble Prompt: “I have stabbed people with these heels before and I’m not afraid to do it again, so I would suggest not pissing me off.“ 

Pairing: Dean x Reader

Requested by: @x-x-owrooh-x-x


“What’s up, Sammy?” Dean greets, answering his phone as he cruises down the highway in Baby.

“Hey, man. I need to take a rain check. We got a break in the case so I’m gonna be at the station for a while.”

“That sucks.” Dean whines. “What am I supposed to do now?”

“Uh go home?” Sam suggests chuckling.

“I can’t. Y/N is having a girls night with Charlie. She made me promise to stay away. I planned on crashing at your place after the bar.”

Keep reading

The Stereotype

 Requested by anon: Drabble #7 with eric from divergent plsss 

 Pairing: Eric Coulter X Reader

 Word count: 961

 Drabble: Everyone keeps telling me you’re the bad guy.


 Things are different now. That was the first thing they told you when you jumped off the net. A brand new initiation with new possibilities. Thanks to those “possibilities” you’re standing here, in the leader’s office, waiting for Max.

 You’re a very good fighter. The best among the transfers, and better than half of the Dauntless-born. Someone saw something good on you. You hope this person is right.

 “Among all those kids, Four had to choose a little girl.”

 You look at the door behind you to see him. Eric. It makes sense. He’s your instructor and a leader. Max wouldn’t lose his time with the initiates.

 “It’s you, then.” The smile that comes to his lips seems honest and that surprises you. “I’ve seen you fighting. You’re good. (Y/N), am I right?”

 “Yes.”

 “Very good. That’s how it’ll work.” He sits down in his huge chair, making eye contact all the time. You can’t help but feel uncomfortable. “You’ll train with the other initiates until lunch. Then with me until dinner. That means…”

 “I’ll have to train even harder.” You cut him off, shyly avoiding his gaze. Those blue eyes can make you go insane, somehow you know that. “Four already told me that.”

 “Great. Meet me here tomorrow after lunch. Don’t be late.” 


 “Maybe this opportunity isn’t a good thing for you.” Clary, your friend who came with you from Erudite is trying to change your mind. For two hours now. “Do you know Keenan? The Dauntless-born with green hair? He told me Eric punched his brother right in the face just because the man didn’t move out his way.”

 “I’ll just move then.” A laugh escapes your lips. “The thing is: I never thought about leadership. Now that I actually have a chance, I’ll fight for it.”

 “Eric is the bad guy, (Y/N). You need to understand that.” Clary makes you stop, right by the dormitory’s door. “He hanged five initiates over the chasm for something like disobeying his orders.”

 “Clar, I’ll be fine. Let’s get some sleep because tomorrow will be a long day.”

 Ignoring her response, you run the bathroom to take a shower before going to sleep.


 “(Y/N), can I talk to you?” Four calls you when you successfully hit your target. You gladly run to meet him, standing away from everyone.

 “What’s up?”

 “Eric.” It’s cute to see that he cares. Four has been a great friend since you came here. “You don’t like following rules, but you have to do what he says.” He takes a look around, probably just checking if the initiates aren’t trying to kill each other. “He’s dangerous. I thought he wouldn’t agree training you so I’d do myself. But for some reason, he wants to keep his eyes on you.”

 “Four, I’m thankful for your friendship and for your help. Clary wants me to give up because you know… It’s Eric. But I can handle it. I can handle him.” You give him a smile, kindly touching his arm. “I promise that I’ll tell you if anything happens.”

 “I’ll be here for you, but I won’t be physically there to help you. You have to keep in mind that Eric is the bad…”

 “(Y/N)!” You turn around quickly to face Eric, staring at you from the other side of the training room. “You’re fighting now.”

 “See you around, Four.”


 You take your time during lunch, enjoying the small talk with the other initiates. Clary keeps giving you tips on “how to deal with Eric Dauntless Leader Coulter”. When Four calls, you say goodbye to your friends, running to the leader’s office.

 Guess what you see when you get there? The worst person of this cruel faction drinking coffee peacefully. You clean your throat after opening the door quietly, not wanting to bother him or something.

 “You’re late.”

 “No, I’m not. Four can prove it.” It comes out before you can think, and the image of your body hanging over the chasm fills your mind.

 “Four. You like him.” It isn’t a question, but you don’t know why Eric is saying this. What Four has to do with this situation?

 “Of course I do. We’re kinda friends.” You sit before him, playing with a black pen, pretending to draw on his desk. “He helps me. He actually helps everyone who needs him.”

 “What about me?”

 It does make you freeze. Eric’s icy eyes are locked on yours. You search on your memories for a reason. Since the first day, you’ve been trying your best and being successful. You know Eric pays a lot of attention to you, but that’s just because you’re good at what you do.

 But that’s weird. What the hell he wants you to say?

 “About you what?” You struggle, trying not to stutter.

 “Four is your friend. What am I?”

 “My leader. My instructor.” You take a deep breath, letting the pen fall from your fingers. “And everyone keeps telling me you’re the bad guy.

 “Do you believe them?” Eric stands up, moving to sit on the chair beside you.

 “I don’t know yet.”

 “If you don’t give up I can show you that I’m more than a stereotype.”

 “Why?” You can’t help but smile. Eric’s very handsome and it makes you blush. Trying to keep your heartbeat steady, you avoid his gaze.

 “Because I kinda like you.” He imitates your tone when you were speaking about Four.

 “Well, I can’t promise you anything.”

 “Good thing I have time.” After giving you a smile that almost makes your heart melt, he goes back to his seat, grabbing a pile of papers. “Today we have paperwork.”

 You’d complain, but somehow you want to spend all the time you can with him.

When Your friends watch season 1 of SG
  • Me: So, do you like it? Who do you ship?
  • Friend: Alex and Maxwell Lord
  • Me: *dying of laughter* Okay, okay, sorry, no spoilers, right, okay who else?
  • Friend: *strange look wondering what they did wrong* Kara and James
  • Me: *bursts out laughing again*
  • Friend: *stands there awkwardly*
Adventures of Fen n' Fez

Context: I am DMing a pathfinder game. My players are mostly new and I have to run a character of my own to help them along.

The Characters:
Mrflrvn, gnome rogue with an affinity for poison who has stolen about half the party’s treasure.
Scott Sterling, a peanut worshipping half-elf cleric, with an unnatural affinity to getting hit in the face. (See also: Scott Sterling)
Fezzig, half-orc based on André the Giant. Dim but strong. Usually chops enemies in half
Fennel, halfling druid based on Peter Dinklage, if he were fat, lazy, and drunk.
Fez and Fen are a team and their abilities reflect that. Fen uses Fez like a horse in battle. Fez uses Fen like a barrel.

This Week’s Adventure: The Copper Cup
As our party continues to make its way through a mongrelmen stronghold. The light source in this room is a copper bowl with burning coals. Scott and Mrflrvn both mistake the bowl as valuable. Before anyone can do anything else, Fez dumps out the coals and stuffs it down his pants. “…keeps the twig n’ berries warm…” he says.

Shortly, we are in a fight, two mongrels in a room with some blockades. Mrflrvn had failed (nat 1) a stealth check and fell headfirst down the ladder into this room. Scott, true to form, runs in and crits the first mongrel… for minimum damage. The mongrel reaponds by hitting Scott over the head, knocking him down. Fez runs up to the other mongrel, but trips.

DM: You trip and fall, the copper bowl clanging as it hits the rocky floor
Fez (ooc): Can I try to Intimidate?
DM: ok
Fez: (rolls 20+) … ow my balls…
DM: The mongrel is both impressed and terrified.

At this point, 3 of 4 of our party are prone. Fen climbs down, sees this, and says, “Naptime? Great!” He lies down too. Scott attempts to stand, and fails. The mongrel attacks nearly killing him, then runs to aid the other mongrel.

Fez: …hey Fen? …I think Scott is dying…
Fen: Really? Oh. Ok.

Fez then stands up and chops the scared mongrel in half (rolled more damage than the creature had max hp). Fen gets off his lazy butt and stablizes Scott. To our great joy, 4 more mongrels show up. The rest of the battle involves Mrflrvn using poisoned darts to incapacitate enemies and Fez killing them. Fen stays with Scott to “keep him safe”.

After the battle
Mrflrvn: For those of you keeping score, Fez chopped 4 of the 6 in half.
Scott: Yeah, while Fen did nothing.
Fen: I was keeping you safe!
Scott: You just didn’t want to fight!
Fen: Well, look at me, I’m tiny! I did the right thing, right Fez? …Fez?
Fez: (tapping the bowl in his pants) … it makes noise Fen…
Fen: See? Fez agrees with me. C'mon Fez
Fez: (still flicking the bowl) …sure Fen… … what if i had more?…

  • me: im fine
  • me: rey keeps a straight face until leia hugs her and then she starts crying like you just see her face collapse and then the camera goes to leia's face and she looks so calm and at peace (with her RING right in the centre of the shot) despite the love of her life being killed by their son only a few hours ago max and then she says 'may the force be with you' to rey and looks so sad watching her go like?? what does that all mean?? why do we have to wait nearly two years to find out??
Mme Bustier's class as Things My Friends and I Have Said
  • Marinette: "I keep messing everything up could I not be like this please?"
  • Alya: "Fuck you, I'd rather be on Tumblr."
  • Adrien: "I am but a smol, and couldn't hurt anything. Unless it's a mosquito, because I hate mosquitoes."
  • Nino: "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, music is my way out of life."
  • Nathanael: "I love tomatoes! Don't shit on tomatoes!"
  • Alix: "I will sue this entire school."
  • Kim: "Actually fight me, I dare you.
  • Max: "I'm a nerd, you're a nerd, everyone in this goddamn class is a nerd."
  • Rose: "Aw, I'm pretty. Right?"
  • Juleka: "Um, no, I don't like you. Now could you go away?"
  • Ivan: "I am tall and look tough but I am secretly a comic nerd and will cry if you hate me."
  • Mylene: "I am not short! You're all just tall!"
  • Chloe: "Excuse me, but could you please keep your weird ass expectations like, three hundred feet away from me?"
  • Sabrina: "They think I am a sidekick but I actually do all the work."
  • Mme Bustier: "Please End me."
  • BONUS
  • Lila: "Bitch I'm the devil on everyone's shoulder, now shut the fuck up."

Alec arrived at Magnus’s place a few hours before the party started to help set up. Magnus insisted that it wasn’t necessary because he could do it all by magic in a matter of minutes, but honestly, Alec needed to get away from his mother for a little while before he was forced to spend an entire evening with her, pretending that she didn’t hate his sexuality and his boyfriend.

His boyfriend.

Magnus Bane was his boyfriend.

That thought alone was enough to make him forget (or, well, almost forget) that he was going to have to spend an entire party - a party celebrating his baby brother’s first rune - trying to keep his mother away from Magnus and starting all kinds of drama that no one, especially Max, needed to see.

When he walked in, he must have looked stressed because instead of giving him a kiss, Magnus said, “Something’s wrong.”

“No, I’m fine.”

“Alexander.”

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

*Whispers* I saw your tiaan in a big coat now you gotta draw veers freezing his ass off

In the wise words of @genmaximilianveers, “Yeah but like he’s Iron Max, he don’t get Cold™”

4

Reblog, don’t repost.

Do not publish onto any other site! (Instagram, YouTube, Amino, WeHeartIt, VK.com, Facebook, Pinterest, etc.

If you want to share, share the link.

I wasn’t going to bother uploading this since it’s in the zine, but then I remembered I wrote a crack fic to go with it. It’s under the cut.

Warning: I know nothing about soccer. I know nothing about writing.

Rated T for minor cussing lol

Keep reading

Dark Cupid - A Summary
  • Marinette: gotta see what the boy's writing
  • Adrien: *thinking* fuck
  • Mme Bustier: can anyone tell me why people always make out in fairy tales
  • Rose: bc love conquers all
  • Mme Bustier: that's cheesy af but okay
  • Bell: ring ring
  • Adrien: this is trash
  • Nino: like me
  • Adrien: lmao
  • Marinette: waaAAAIT what did it SAY
  • Marinette: *sticks head in trash*
  • Chloe: Marinette wtf
  • Sabrina: she's finding clothes where I find mine
  • Chloe: that's so fucking true
  • Marinette: can you leave I'm busy
  • Chloe: k bye I love u
  • Marinette: sure bye
  • Marinette: Tikki who the fuck this talking about
  • Tikki: you
  • Tikki: stupid bitch
  • Marinette: ALYA HOLY SHIT
  • Alya: what
  • Marinette: I think Adrien wrote a poem about me
  • Alya: woooAH
  • Marinette: imma write back to him
  • Alya: wait what
  • Max: science told me this vry pretty badge will make her fall in love with you
  • Kim: bro thanks
  • Marinette: what are you doing
  • Max: Kim's asking somebody who is not me on a date
  • Alya: well damn that sucks
  • Kim: ur making me feel bad
  • Marinette: go ask her Kim you'll be fine
  • Kim: thnx
  • Kim: *sprints vry fast*
  • Chloe: yep yep I need gold
  • Kim: hey
  • Universe: *tries to tell Kim that this girl ain't the person for him*
  • Chloe: lmao lemme just
  • Chloe: okay bye
  • Kim: *overdramatic sob*
  • Hawkmoth: ooooo boy lets make trouble
  • Akuma: flappity flap
  • Kim: damn let's make drama
  • *bunch of shit happens*
  • Marinette: right I'm dropping this in right now
  • Alya: look at this photo of Kim
  • Marinette: oh
  • Alya: hope banana head doesn't do that to you
  • Marinette: FUCK
  • Alya: I was joking *gets shot* no I wasn't fuck you
  • Marinette: oh no
  • Chat: ladybug thanks for showing up
  • Ladybug: no worries
  • Chat: look I l... LOOK OUT
  • Ladybug: CHAT
  • Chat: haha you suck
  • Ladybug: ugh get off me
  • *more shit*
  • Ladybug: oh right to get things back to normal I gotta kiss this cat
  • Chat: don't do that
  • Ladybug: *kisses him vry passionately*
  • Chat: once again I take that back
  • *even more meaningless shit*
  • Marinette: omg I forgot to sign it again
  • Alya: you worthless idiot
  • *fin*
I won’t bite

I still don’t think my smut is that great, but practice makes perfect, yes? I hope you enjoy it regardless.

Requested by: anon, whoever you are<3

1302 word(s) of: smut

Mature Audiences(which is none of us, lets be honest)


You were meandering around in the kitchen trying to decide what to fix for dinner. Your boyfriend Leonard was due home any minute, and by the sound of it, he had a rough day. He had phoned you at least three times that day, which was unusual for him. You knew he had to be stressed and tired for him to have to call you so much to calm him down.

You were about to pull something out of the fridge, when you heard the door swish open. You pulled your head out of the fridge and listen to the soft footfalls of Leonard’s boots. You shut the fridge door and made your way to meet him.

Keep reading

A Study in Hypocrisy #2.5

Or why the Avengers’ relationship to Tony was unhealthy at best, Steve isn’t fit to be a leader, and why I’m Team Iron Man to the end.


WHY TONY’S RELATIONSHIP WITH THE AVENGERS IS UNHEALTHY AT BEST

Tony’s relationship with the Avengers has always made me uncomfortable. For the longest time, I couldn’t put my finger on why exactly, but I’ll try to organize my thoughts in this series.  

This post was getting far too long, so I decided to cut it into parts, one per Avenger. 

This is strictly MCU. I know nothing about the comics. 


CLINT

Tony doesn’t interact much with Clint in the movies, unfortunately, so there’s not a lot that can be said on that front.

Civil War gave us some interaction, however.

“The futurist, gentlemen! The futurist is here! He sees all! He knows what’s best for you, whether your like it or not.”

"Give me a break, Barton. I had no idea they’ll put you in here, come on.”

"Yeah, well, you knew they’ll put us somewhere, Tony.”

"Yeah. But, not some super max floating ocean pokey. You know, this place is for maniacs. This is a place for…”

"Criminals? Criminals, Tony. I think that’s the word you’re looking for. Right? It didn’t used to mean me, or Sam, or Wanda. But, here we are.”

“Because you broke the law—”

"Yeah—”

"I didn’t make you—”

"The law. The law. The law. The law. The law.”

“You read it, you broke it. Alright, you’re all grown up. You got a wife and kids. I don’t understand. Why didn’t you think about them before you choose the wrong side?”

"You better watch your back on this guy. There’s a chance he’s gonna break it.”

Captain America: Civil War (2016)

Remember this part? How Clint refuses to admit that his situation is his own fault? He puts all of the blame squarely on Tony’s shoulders, as if the man was all-powerful and controlled the UN, Ross, and so on. I know Tony’s influential, filthy rich and powerful, but he’s still a private citizen. The Accords weren’t his doing, nor was the UN or Ross’ actions. At this point, he’s just desperately scrambling to keep them all alive if not free. 

Clint coddles Wanda like she didn’t give everyone—including Natasha, who he’s supposed to be super close to—horrible visions and triggered Tony so he would create Ultron. She was the source of the entire mess, and a mind-controller. Shouldn’t he hate her on principle after what Loki did to him, instead of considering her like a daughter of sorts? Also… what? I mean, she’s 26. She’s not a kid. She’s a grown woman, thank you. Maybe he feels guilty for what he perceives as getting her brother killed, but it’s still not an excuse. 

Going as far as to use Rhodey’s near-death as a weapon against Tony was also particularly low, especially when Tony wasn’t even the one to involve him in this mess at all—and had nothing to do with Rhodey’s fall either.

Tony didn’t call him for a reason—or three: it’s spelled Laura, the kids and retirement. Clint should never have been involved. He chose to come of his own volition. He probably didn’t even read the Accords. When Vision urged him to consider his actions, he replied “considered” in half a second, in a derisive tone that implies there won’t be any consequences. Because he’s an Avenger, and he’s on Captain America’s team, right? He can’t be wrong here.

Here’s how I interpret it. Clint’s not a leader. He’s a follower. He’s a foot soldier, a field agent. He doesn’t consider the consequences of his actions, because other people usually do it for him. SHIELD, at first. Then Tony and maybe even Steve after the fall of SHIELD. But he’s never actually had to deal with his choices before. There was always someone else there to take responsibility, divert attention or just deal with the aftermath.

Yet here he is, in prison. Considered a dangerous criminal. He doesn’t know when he’ll get back to his wife and kids. If he’ll get back to his wife and kids. And he can’t accept that it’s all his fault. So he blames Tony, even though he’s probably been living on his resources since the fall of SHIELD. I think this also might have something to do with the fact that Steve has a much better public image going for him. His legend has him as a paragon of American virtue and honesty, right? He does the right thing, that’s what he does, as if he were some sort of mystical creature with an infallible moral compass. No one would call Tony a moral compass, that’s for sure. 

Clint, like Natasha, like Coulson, like so many others, just got pulled in by the legend, I think. And then he turns on Tony when things go wrong, because he followed Captain America. He can’t have chosen the wrong leader, can he?  

“I hate you.” (Joji)

Anon Request: an imagine where you and joji absolutely hate each other but because you’re both friends with the other boys you’re forced to hang out together but one night, somehow, things get really heated and smutty? xx


Y/N’s POV

I groaned dramatically, trying to catch the attention of at least Max, or Ian…mostly Ian. I wanted to desperately leave this dreaded apartment and one of those two idiots was my ticket out of here considering that I didn’t have a ride. Well, Ian was my ride, but he was too busy up George’s ass to even notice me. I hated coming over here to this apartment, I hated this atmosphere, and most of all: I hated George. Yeah, ‘hate’ is a strong word and all, but that’s just how I felt. It was with such animosity that I could barely look at him without having the urge to deck him right in the face. He was sat on the couch across from me, scrolling through his phone as he smiled and spoke to Max and Ian about something stupid. The three of them laughed, and I felt like they were mocking me…I was the only one sitting there and pouting as if I was a five year old that had their favorite toy taken away from them.

“Y/N, you need to see this.” Ian laughed as he patted the empty space next to him.

I glared at him and then Max, both of them on either sides of George. I rolled my eyes and scoffed. My bitterness towards George stemmed from a deeper issue. It wasn’t just me being hostile for no reason.

“I’d rather choke then go over there.” I muttered.

We had been out the whole attending to every need George had, doing everything George waned to do. I was excluded from everything purposely. They shot a few things for videos on all of their channels, and when Max or Ian called me over, George would instead take my place and fill in. It was always some kind of competition when it came to Ian and Max, as if he didn’t spend enough time with them already. For some reason, it always had to revolve around George. Ever since the first day I met him, it was as though the attention was always on him, and he distracted them from me.

“Have it your way.” George mumbled as he continued laughing with the guys.

That night, we had stayed over at George’s apartment being that we had nowhere else to stay because Ian didn’t want to drive downtown and get a hotel. Luckily for me, Ian was with me in the guest room where he and Max were going to be rooming.

“I have to step out real quick with Max to go pick up a few things that we ordered from that camera company I was telling you about. Remember that lens I ordered? Well, I have to go to the company and get it myself with Max since he had ordered some sort of case from the same place. Its an hour and a half drive.” Ian told me as he folded some of his clothes as he sat on the bed.

“You’re going to leave me here with him.” I gasped, “Take me with you, please. Come on, I promise I won’t say a single word the whole ride there and the ride back.”

“Y/N, just stay here. Plus, look. Joji needs some help cleaning up a little…just be civil until we get back.” he told me.

I didn’t want those two cunts leaving me with George. Max talked me into staying behind unfortunately, saying that I’d get bored with the trip. Ian even suggested talking to him and maybe squashing the beef between the both of us.which I doubt would ever occur in this lifetime… I walked into the hallway, leaving the guest room, and I came to a stop when I heard George speaking.

“Guys, you’re seriously not leaving me with Y/N, right? What the hell?! You guys know I can’t stand her…let me go with you, she won’t mind being alone. She’s always alone anyways, being that she hasn’t been in a relationship for a long ass time.” he belittled, “She’s so fucking annoying…dude, all she does is take up space…”

I knew I abhorred him completely before with every poison filled bone in my body, wanting nothing to do with him…but now I felt it with such distaste. George was repulsive to me.

“Look, she doesn’t like it either, but we’ll be back quick.” Ian explained, “You won’t even notice we’re gone.”

They said their goodbyes and after hearing the front door shut, I abandoned the hallway, retreating back into the guest room. I was occupying the bed for about ten minutes, lying there and taking up space, like how George said I did. I couldn’t deny that what he said didn’t at least hurt me in some sense. Like, I guess it did but I was so used to ignoring his existence it really didn’t have an affect on me. I heard a soft knock on the door followed by the twist of the doorknob. I found it rude how he just let himself in that way, but at the same time, it his apartment. I continued staring at the ceiling, not wanting to look at him.

“Do you want popcorn or something?” he asked bluntly.

“No.” I spat.

“Starve and die then.” he muttered.

“Gladly.” I told him.

All I felt was the room become empty and I heard the door slam shut. It startled me a little, making me jump as I remained on my back, staring at the blank ceiling. Someone’s grumpy, I thought to myself. Like, alright yeah, I get it. I suck, I’m annoying, and he probably rather die than be stuck in the same vicinity as me because that’s exactly how I feel about being here with him, but are you really going to slam doors in your apartment to emphasize how much I get under your skin? I sat up feeling thirsty. Five minutes into a battle with myself about getting up or not, I decided to get up and be a big girl and go get myself a glass of water. I was hesitant, not wanting George to say anything to me. He sat on the couch with an unopened beer in his hand as I lightly creeped past him and went not the kitchen. I poured myself some water and as I gulped it down, I thought about leaving tomorrow since Ian had said we’d leave first thing in the morning. I wanted to be far away from George, I never liked coming to New York because we only came here to see him.

“You could’ve asked me for a glass instead of snooping around my kitchen.” his voice startled me, making the cup slip out of my hand and crash onto the floor into pieces.

I gasped, scared that he’d start his bitching.

“See what you do?!” he shouted at me, stretching out his arms.

“Me?! You’re the one that came up behind me like some kind of spy. Wear a damn bell next time, maybe that way we’d all be able to hear you.” I shouted back.

“Oh, shut up! You’re the reason why I have to sneak around, so you’re annoying ass doesn’t see me and automatically say something about you wanting to leave and doing something better or coming at me with your bullshit.” he seethed.

“This is exactly why-“ I started.

“You what?” he tested me.

“I hate you.” I disputed.

I wasn’t going to just let him walk all over me the way he normally did. Like, it’s pretty evident you dislike me, no need to make it more known by being mean and rude. He crouched on the floor and began to pick up the jagged pieces of the broken glass. I began to help him as well and he grabbed my wrist unexpectedly in a rough manner, “Stop. What? Are you trying to have a shard slice your hand open?!” he scolded.

“Oh, look at that. You do have a heart.” I rolled my eyes, “I’m a big girl, George. I can clean up my own mess by myself. I don’t need you being a big ass baby and telling Ian or Max I smashed one of your stupid fucking cups.”

“Why don’t you ever call me Joji? And you’re fighting with me over picking up shards of fucking glass. Just get out of the damn way, Y/N.” he argued.

I ignored him and continued picking up the shards. I didn’t want to call him ‘Joji’ because that’s what his close friends called him and I am no friend of his. If I was anything to him, I was probably an enemy.

“Your friends call you ‘Joji’…I’m not your friend.” I said as I held a few pieces of glass in my hands and dumped them in the trash can.

“You’re right. We’re not friends.” he muttered as he pushed past me to go into the kitchen. I followed him, wanting to know what the hell his problem with me was. I stood in the center of the room and he glared at me bitterly, clenching his jaw and sitting down on the couch.

“What is your issue with me? You already know what mine is with you, but for some reason you’re always such a dick towards me…” I announced.

He stood up and sighed, rolling his eyes, “You’re kidding, right? I never have time with my friends because of you. You stick to them like some sort of leech, sucking the fun out of everything we do. You walk around like you’re some sort of goddess, as if you control shit and run shit…” he inched closer to me, becoming more sour with every word that left his mouth, “And you don’t run anything…you-you waltz around in the shortest dresses and the tightest tights catching attention from pervs and distracting my other friends. I know you hate me…”

George backed me up into the chilled wall, goosebumps took over my body as I watched his lips attentively.

“So?” I asked with a slight attitude as I crossed my arms over my chest.

He let out a laugh, his eyes went from the floor to my face as he closed the space in between us. George stared at my lips and said, “You think I hate you, huh?”

I nodded slowly, not having any words for what was happening. I didn’t want it to stop…even if I claimed I hated him. He was rude, repulsive, alluring, and a dick… but that didn’t mean I didn’t want his…

“I’m gonna show you just how much I hate you.” he whispered as he leaned in.

George’s lips met mine aggressively as his hands intertwined in my hair. I didn’t protest nor did I reject him. I wanted him. Not knowing how much time we had left alone made us become very hasty. He led me straight to his room, where he shut the door and quickly attended to me while I plopped down onto his bed. My eyes scrutinized his room, I’ve never even taken a glimpse of it. George was surprisingly neat and organized, I’d imagined he was a slob but he proved me wrong. I was startled when I felt his cold fingers trace the bare skin on my stomach as he hooked my pants with his fingers. He made his way in between my clothed legs and unbuttoned my pants. While he was lowering my zipper, I jerked my pants off and began to work on his button and zipper. I was impatient and anxious. My issue with George was pushed in the back of my brain. I did not want to think about it anymore, I just wanted to think about how good he would make me feel and make it up to me. Removing his pants, he sucked on my neck, nibbling a little bit. His hand made his way into my underwear making me sharply draw in a breath.

“You wanna know something?” he whispered in a low voice as he entered a finger in me.

I moaned in response.

“I’ve always wanted to fuck you.” he lightly chuckled, placing another finger inside of me and working his fingers faster, “The first time I met you and opened that pretty little mouth of yours I knew you were someone I wanted. You hate me? Let me fuck that hate out of you, baby.”

My hand clasped his wrist as his actions sped up, not knowing what to grab and where to my hands. I was a mess under him, moaning and whimpering as he continued leaving marks on my neck and collarbones. He stopped before I was able to cum, my head hit his pillow as I laid there gasping, trying to catch my breath.

“I’m not done with you yet.” he snickered taking off my underwear and then instantaneously got rid of his.

We made out as he teased my opening with his hard erection, without a warning, he surprisingly thrusted into me. He was slow at first, but none the lead, it made all the difference in length. I gripped the blankets in my palms, biting my bottom lip as I shut my eyes. His thumb rubbed circles on my clit. After some time passed, he flipped me over so that I was on my knees. He gripped my hair in his hands and got close to my ear, “Let me show you how much  I hate you.”

He grabbed my hip with his left hand as his right continued holding my hair tenderly while he pulled out and teased me awfully slowly. I et out a small whimper, earning a light chuckle from him.

“Stop with the teasing, Joji.” I whispered.

Joji gave in and his actions became rugged with each slow stroke. I lowered the upper half of my body into the mattress, muffling my moans as he got faster and his motions rougher. I slid my arm below me and let my fingers rub my clit, I was close to my high and Joji’s motions made me near my climax faster than I had expected. My thighs burned as my legs shook, cumming onto his cock as he continued with his pace, pounding me as rough as he could. Moaning into the sheets to keep from making noise was no help, I was loud regardless. Joji’s moans were low growls, they became intense as his thrusts got clumsier. Joji pulled out, immediately spurting onto my ass, his grunts declined and instead turned into sighs of pleasure. Helping me clean up, Joji also aided me in getting dressed. He stared at me as we stood by his room’s door, “What?” I asked, confused.

“Wanna hate each other more often?” he smirked.

“I wouldn’t have it any other way.” I smiled.

Just as we exited the room and walked into the living room, the front door swung open. Ian smiled at us and said, “Hey! Did you guys work things out?”

Joji looked at me, giving me a wink, I couldn’t help but smile discreetly as I turned to Ian and Max. My smile disappeared and I cleared my throat, attempting to act cool, “Something like that.”

I sat on the couch, crossing my arms over my chest, continuing the act as Joji sat on the the other couch, eyeing me with a grin. All I could hope for was the next time Joji and I were left alone…maybe this wouldn’t be so bad.