maurice thomas

Inspired from this vine. I was so disappointed that no one had created an lotf animation (well sort of) with it, so I decided to take matters into my own hands. Enjoy my wasted week of work. Oh yeah and this is an AU where Jack TOTALLY tried to flaunt his C sharp skills and signal everyone on the island before Ralph even has a chance to blow the conch and Piggy’s glasses are no longer viable for starting signal fires XD

A List of Imaginary Films for Zach Woods and Thomas Middleditch To Star In

A Silicon Valley RPF fic. Again, happy birthday to @joycecarolnotes :)

*

A Harry Potter tie-in film that’s like about hipster wizards in Williamsburg - Zach plays a Hufflepuff from an old wizarding family whose attempts at fitting into muggle society have uneven results. Thomas plays a muggleborn Slytherin.

A romcom set in the cutthroat world of online comics. Thomas and Zach play illustrators who, one night at the Toronto Comic Arts Festival, play a game of gay chicken that goes WAY too far.

A heist movie in which Thomas plays a guy hired to steal… something… and Zach is his handler. They’re hired separately and they’ve never met; the movie has a whole Who Is On Whose Side thing; 90% of their dialogue happens over the comm.

An indie office comedy in which Zach and Thomas plays two guys who work for the same company in the same location but their cubicles are on completely opposite sides of the building. They only know each othet from inter-departmental phone calls in which they have longer and longer conversations. They stealthily - so their supervisors can’t tell - have bits of conversation about non-work-related things, but they’re both too shy to try to match faces to voices. They both keep meaning to ask the other where his cubicle is but then they always chicken out. Then there’s a zombie apocalypse and they meet while outrunning zombies and saving the day.

An modern-day adaptation of Maurice in which Thomas plays Clive Durham and Zach plays Maurice. No idea who would play Alec Scudder.

An erotic thriller set in the world of classical music. Zach has just won the audition for the opening in the trumpet section of the Los Angeles Philharmonic; Thomas is the histrionic who cannot take Zach’s doe eyea staring out at him from the back of the orchestra every day. There is a whole thing where they argue about the phrasing for the start of Mahler’s fifth and Thomas’s character gets an erection when Zach finally plays it his way. At one point they go on tour - Zach’s first tour - and there are slow, evocative shots of him carrying his stuff in city after city, and of Thomas watching him when he thinks no one can see. In one scene, Zach is standing in the rain, smiling up at a rainbow that’s just appeared in the distance, as Thomas stands behind him, looking distraught.

An art-house sci-fi film in which Zach plays a scientist aboard a spaceship and Thomas is a member of the support crew who may or may not be a robot. Questions about identify, life, and human-cyborg sex are all… not really answered in this film, but there are lots of gentle, thoughtful, artistically pleasing shots of both actors set to ukulele music.

An adaptation of volume two of Robertson Davies’s The Cornish Trilogy, ‘What’s Bred in the Bone’ in which Zach plays the young Francis Cornish. Screw Thomas, he doesn’t need to be in this.

A film in which Thomas is a supervillain and Zach a writing a sociology phd about him.

A teen movie that’s not actually a teen movie in which Zach and Thomas play high school teachers who chat (read: gossip) about their students in the staff room every day, until they start talking about their own adolescences, end up hanging out after school, and then - after hijinks and after one of their students writes a play about them, also there’s a musical number - they fall in love.

A Ralph Waldo Emerson biopic with Zach as the esteemed essayist/lecturer/poet and Thomas as his neighbour, Bronson Alcott. No idea who plays Bronson Alcott’s daughter, Louisa May, or their other neighbours, Hawthorne and Thoreau.

A remake of Some Like It Hot with Middleditch in the Jack Lemon role, Zach Woods playing Tony Curtis’s character, and Rihanna as Marilyn Monroe. This film becomes particularly popular because of its blooper reel, in which Zach and Middleditch are arguably funnier than in the actual movie, and on top of that, they seem incredibly happy to be together.

A movie in which they’re happy.

She could not speak and yet she was speaking. Her tongue vibrated in such a way that she seemed to express the meanings of words without the words themselves. Then, suddenly, she let herself be carried away by a rush of words which she pronounced almost beneath her breath, with varied inflections, as if she wanted only to amuse herself with sounds and bursts of syllables. She gave the impression that, speaking a language whose infantile character prevented it from being taken for a language, she was making the meaningless words seem like incomprehensible ones.  She said nothing, but to say nothing was for her an all too meaningful mode of expression, beneath which she succeeding in saying still less. She withdrew indefinitely from her babbling, to enter yet another, less serious babbling,  which she nevertheless rejected as too serious, preparing herself by an endless retreat beyond all seriousness for repose in absolute puerility, until her vocabulary, through its nullity, took on the appearance of a sleep which was the very voice of seriousness.
—  Maurice Blanchot, Thomas the Obscure

“She could not speak and yet she was speaking. Her tongue vibrated in such a way that she seemed to express the meanings of words without the words themselves. Then, suddenly, she let herself be carried away by a rush of words which she pronounced almost beneath her breath, with varied inflections, as if she wanted only to amuse herself with sounds and bursts of syllables. She gave the impression that, speaking a language whose infantile character prevented it from being taken for a language, she was making the meaningless words seem like incomprehensible ones. She said nothing, but to say nothing was for her an all too meaningful mode of expression, beneath which she succeeding in saying still less. She withdrew indefinitely from her babbling, to enter yet another, less serious babbling, which she nevertheless rejected as too serious, preparing herself by an endless retreat beyond all seriousness for repose in absolute puerility, until her vocabulary, through its nullity, took on the appearance of a sleep which was the very voice of seriousness.”

- Maurice Blanchot, Thomas the Obscure