Tribute to Sam Winchester’s 33rd Birthday, or at least, a world he should have been afforded. Happy Birthday Sam~
His little girl is the most beautiful child he’s ever seen. Sam was never the kind of man to be awed by kids. That was always Dean’s thing. One look and his older brother was smitten, no matter what he said.
Sam, on the other hand, had never given kids a second thought. It wasn’t something he ever expected to have, let alone a life safe enough to bring a child into the world as his own.
Yet here he was, holding his little girl in his arms, heart so full of warmth and joy he could barely contain it.
In a way, he wondered if this is what his father had felt.
“She has your eyes,” Eileen signed, face bright and radiant against the pillows of the hospital bed.
Sam choked on a laugh, eyes watering as he nodded and kissed his daughter’s forehead.
“She has your nose,” Sam replied audibly, watching the way Eileen’s eyes took in his words.
“She does not,” Eileen laughed, shaking her head.
Sam rolled his eyes and looked back to their daughter. She truly was the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen. He had no idea becoming a father would feel like this.
For months leading up to the delivery he’d been panicked and anxious. He had so much to be afraid of. There were monsters of course, and he was also a Winchester. He carried a heavy burden, one that Eileen had been willing to carry with him, and he carried hers. He wanted to bring a child into the world when he knew it would be safe, when he knew he could protect a family of his own without fear of the apocalypse, heaven, or hell.
There was more than that, too. There was all the history that he had dragged behind him. Raising a child would mean risk and vulnerability. It meant risking that knowledge upon his own child, the fear that his son or daughter would learn about all the mistakes of their father and the destruction that it brought. He had fears that he would fail again, ruin the only good thing he would ever have the chance to bring into the world.
He could do nothing about those fears. Eileen told him that more often than not. But they were still there, and they had festered for what felt like an eternity before Eileen stumbled into their bedroom with a flushed face, signing over and over again, “It’s time.”
Since that moment, Sam forgot everything. In an instant his fears were put on hold, his stress and anxiety an afterthought. Now, with his daughter in his arms, Sam felt like the weight of the world had fallen off his shoulders.
Fear? What fear. His daughter’s face shone like the sun. His wife’s body was stretched out beside him, warm and very much alive.
Sam reached out a hand and wrapped his fingers through Eileen’s, bringing her hand up until his lips touched her knuckles.
He didn’t have to sign it for her to understand what he meant.
I love you.
Eileen placed a hand over her heart, then rested it atop their joined hands. Sam smiled and looked back down at their daughter.
“We should name her Maura,” Sam said. He looked at his wife in time to see her eyes widen in surprise.
Sam smiled and rubbed his thumb over her palm.
“Because of her I would never know you, and I would never have been as happy as I am right now.”
Eileen nodded slowly, smile broadening as she looked at the infant in Sam’s arms. He took that as a sign and handed the child to her mother.
“Maura,” Eileen spoke, laughter lining her voice. “Maura Winchester. Perfect.”
At age nine she met Paddy Doyle. At age ten, she saw him again when he drove through her neighborhood. While the other kids playing in the street tried to race the car he was in, Jane watched with fascination from her bike. Just before her eleventh birthday, Paddy promised to make sure her family was financially secure without them ever having to know why. Only if she agreed to do him some favors. She hadn’t given him an answer. When she saw father pacing the room angrily and her mother bawling her eyes out over a letter with “EVICTION” bolded in red, she rode her bike to the bar Paddy frequented most and accepted his offer. When she was thirteen he asked her to ride her bike to the more wealthy parts of Boston with a secured backpack. This became a regular occurrence and she never thought to ask what was in the bag. All she knew was that her father’s plumbing business was flourishing and she always received a ten dollar tip when she returned the change to Paddy. By age eighteen, Paddy had asked her to do a lot of things but none of them she questioned him for until he asked her to join the police academy when she graduated high school. It was then she considered getting out. Her father was already successful and she was just about to graduate high school and join the family business. Three weeks later with three broken ribs, a broken leg, and a fractured skull Jane never thought about leaving Paddy’s mob again. At age twenty, she met his daughter, who hadn’t a clue about her affiliation with Paddy Doyle, and fell in love. Paddy threatened to kill her if she ever went to dinner with Maura again. She stayed away. Until she was twenty-two. At twenty-three, she and Maura’s relationship was still a secret from Paddy but Maura was becoming suspicious when Jane left in the middle of the night and returned at dawn with cuts and bruises on her knuckles. At twenty-five, Maura wanted to tell her father about Jane. At twenty-six, Jane proposed, with Paddy’s permission, and married Maura at twenty-seven. When she was twenty-eight and Maura was pregnant with their first child, Paddy Doyle was finally arrested. But her affiliation with him was not severed. Instead, he asked her to supply him with confidential information. At thirty-two, Jane was arrested and imprisoned. Unbeknownst to her, after the final visit she received from her ex-wife, Maura took over the family business.
Prompt: can you do a niall centric where he’s not in the band but is the cousin of one of the guys, and maybe niall is deaf and the other don’t know but maybe his cousin does and knows sign language just fluffy and cute
Trigger warning: -
word Count: 1.7k
a/N: Sorry it’s so shit..
No one wishes for a sick child. Every mother hopes that she is pregnant with a baby that’ll have a good life. A life full of fun and joy and without having to deal with sickness or other things that tend to get in the way. However even though it’s every mother’s wish it doesn’t work all of the time.
Some kids are born without arms, some other without legs; some have a disability and won’t ever be able to live a life without someone taking care of them 24/7. Sometimes children die when they are born or sometimes they die at the age of four. There are thousands of things that can happen to your child and even if you always tell yourself that something like this will never happen to you there is still a chance that it will.
I guess this proves that us Dads are good for pretty much anything and everything. I’ve had lots of bellybutton conversations with my own child but this one is as good as it gets. Thanks so much to Maura Linkowski and her child from Yorktown Heights, NY.
Headcanon: Maura secretly loves Finding Nemo (having watched it countless times with TJ). One night a tipsy Maura sidles up to Jane, who’s talking to Angela in the kitchen, squishes her cheeks and says: I shall call her squishy and she shall be mine.
A/N: DAMN SON, this turned out hella longer than I thought. Serious fluff-fest, you will need to book an appointment with your dentist afterwards. Guess I needed something cheerful what with the angst in Saving Me. Hope you enjoy!
P.S. IDENTIFIED HEADCANON-ORIGIN TO BE FROM PEAR-PRESSURES who is a wonderful human being. Many thanks to the Anon who tipped me off!
~ ~ ~
“Thank you so much for doing this, Maura,” Angela beamed, folding the blonde woman into her arms.
“Oh, it’s not a problem, Angela!” Maura smiled right back. “I love spending time with T.J.”
“You’re a saint. And you know you’re like my daughter too, right?”
Maura could feel the familiar swell of emotion at the words of the Rizzoli matriarch. It never ceased to move her whenever any of the Rizzoli clan reaffirmed her inclusion into the family. She responded with a small squeeze and a nod before stepping back and picking T.J. up from where he sat in the pram.
“Hello, T.J. We’re going to have lots of fun, aren’t we?”
Jane truly is Maura’s protector - physically and emotionally. Through mistakes and misunderstandings, Jane has learnt the extent of Maura’s vulnerability. I think she’s still learning as she goes, each time she makes a joke and the smile doesn’t quite reach Maura’s eyes, Jane knows she has hit a tender spot. She makes it up to Maura, and she vows to herself that she won’t let anyone else poke that spot.
Maura is learning too; she’s learning and enjoying the playful kind of teasing that comes with being Jane’s friend. She’s learning that Jane’s love and friendship pour out of her with every sarcastic remark. Over the years they’ve known each other, Maura has learnt to trust. She has learnt how to lean on others once in a while, to share the burden with Jane who bears it willingly and without a second thought.
Jane knows she needs to protect Maura from Hope, Paddy, Constance - people who make Maura feel neglected, unloved, unwanted. She does this through confrontation. But she also knows that it would do good for Maura to have these people in her life if they are willing to change. Notice also how, so often, the people looking to make amends with Maura first approach Jane, seeking advice or approval. They only make it past Jane when the detective has decided that she has seen the change in them, once they have proven themselves to her. And even then, she looks to Maura. They communicate silently and Jane follows Maura’s lead. She puts Maura’s needs and desires first, but she still stands guard, just in case.
Jane has made it her goal in life to improve Maura’s life. To make up for all the things Maura missed as a child, to do what she can to protect Maura from further pain. No doubt Jane is the one that pulls her brothers, mother, and co-workers aside every now and then to give them a pep talk Maura’s kinda upset about that still, so try not to mention it. Or Maura’s been feeling down lately, so it would be great if you could all make an extra effort to include her in fun stuff outside of work. And they all smile and shake their heads fondly at the obvious love and devotion Jane feels for Maura.
After days of trying to understand what the writers were thinking with this pregnancy arc, I’ve come to the sad conclusion that they weren’t thinking much at all. The miscarriage would have been a perfect chance to show character growth, but instead we got silly jokes about IKEA assembly instructions and Fred Flintstone vitamin bottles. Except for a handful of scenes scattered over 9 episodes, the baby didn’t even seem to exist for Jane. Given that this was supposed to be a Jane-centric arc, her role in this was actually rather insignificant. In retrospect, the baby was a meaningless plot point. We didn’t see it, we didn’t connect with it, and once we got rid of it, we celebrated with pizza and beer. Tamaro created this mess, but Nash made it worse.
I don’t claim to have a perfect solution (and I’m not getting paid to come up with one), but at least in my mind, the pregnancy arc happened as described below. Scroll further down for a short fanfic to fix the ending of 5x09:
A/N: for those of you who may not be familiar with adoption disputes in court, when a biological family member disputes the legality or ethical nature of an adoption, it is often common practice to remove the child in question from the adoptive parents home and place them under the care of a guardian for the duration of the trial. This is done in the name of impartiality…that goal is rarely achieved.
I sort of switched this around a little, because I really feel that our ladies would argue against their own experiences…each for different reasons. Hope this rings true with you guys, too..
I literally live for your headcanons they're amazing wow! Could you please do some for just blue??? Or maybe helen
Ok wow thank u and yes of
-she sleeps with the
windows open because she can’t relax when it’s too quiet
-long silences make her
-she has been in 2
-1 was when she was 6 and
a boy pulled on her lil pony tails (well actually they weren’t much smaller
than they are now but u know, lil) and she stomped on his foot and blue gained
the title of “toe crusher sargent”
-she loves the way oil
paints look but does not have the money for them or the patience to wait for it
-she has never been to an
art museum and is against the idea of them
-she wrote a shit love poem
“I have spent hours trying to catch the light in your eyes on paper and days
mixing colours to get the shade of your smile”-soppy mclovestruck
-she listens to dream pop
-oh the other fist fight
was when she was 12 and someone tried to tell her about reverse racism
-she has dimples
-her favorite holiday is
-she once tried to prank
ronan by ripping up his jeans and realized that ronan literally wears ripped
jeans all the time wtf blue
-when she was lil she had
this conversation with Maura
“What do u want for ur
bday my child”-I am a gr8 mother
“IM GNA FIGHT IT”
-ronan has legitimately
cooked shrimp for her just so that he could say “you r wht u eat”
-she ate all of it
-and threw up on his
shoes bc why would u buy gas station shrimp ronan oh my god
-when adam and ronan got
together she left adam notes from “””ronan”””” that were like
-aDAMN U LOOK GOOD
-that’s the only adam pun
I have I m a sham
-she cannot rap
-but like hell when noah
drops a beat shes gna try
-like she’s serenading gansey
at prom like
-“when he puts on his
glasses he gan-SEE, he’s on the row team he loves the gan-SEA, he goes on
roller coasters like gan WEE, he’s kind of selfish all gan ME he-“
-“gan SHUT THE FK
UP”-ronan trying to slow dance with prom king parrish
for years, Maura has always wanted to hear her wife play the piano. she has asked, almost begged, but each time Jane side steps the request and her hands disappear almost immediately into her pockets.
until they have their first child and Maura purchases a baby baby grand for his room. it sits silently in the corner for over a year until one night a beautiful rendition of Bach's Goldberg Variations wakes her.
so Maura moves quietly down the hall and admires Jane from the doorway. she is cross legged and hunched over the small piano while their son sleeps peacefully.
and Maura isn’t sure if it is a cry or a laugh that escapes her when Jane acknowledges her presence; allowing the music to shift seamlessly and immediately to the song they shared their first dance to the day of their wedding.
“Your house is so far from everything. We thought the one in Stratford was quite nice, didn’t you?”
“Sure, but Niall wanted a house away from the city. Besides, Lucy loves it here.”
There was so much going on that you couldn’t concentrate on making dinner. Your parents were sitting at the island, giving you compliments one second and insulting you the next; Niall’s parents were out on the porch, seemingly bickering over who was the happiest of their children; and Niall was trying to juggle both the baby and Lucy whilst keeping himself warm.
“Why doesn’t everybody come inside until dinner’s ready?” You called after a struggle with the sliding glass door.
Bobby and Maura each took a child from Niall and made their way into the living room where Greg was while he stayed back.
“This is fun,” he said and wrapped his arms around your waist. You buried your face in his neck.
“This is hectic.”
He lowered his arms to your backside and gave you a tight squeeze. “Do you want some help in ‘t kitchen?”
“Could you keep from going insane?”
“For you?” he chuckled. “Anything.”
“Time for supper!” Harry yelled.
“Let’s go boys. Jensen- Teddy! Do not bite your brother.”
“Time for supper!” Harry yelled again.
You waddled into the dining room, where Harry had your plate pre-made, and lowered yourself onto a chair. Robin and Anne walked in with the boys at the same time Harry screamed at the television before shutting it off, muttering something about American football.
“How’s it going?” He asked, giving you a kiss on the cheek.
“It took two hours longer than you said it would to make dinner and I’m thirty weeks pregnant; what do you think?”
“But it took longer cos I made your favorite.” He pointed to the pasta in front of you.
“I thought we were supposed to eat special foods on Thanksgiving, not what Mum likes.”
Harry glared at Jensen. “You’re the one that asked for a baby so you’re the one that’s got to deal with the food it wants.”
“You see, I do not agree with that.”
“Your dad did something nice for your mum, learn a little something from him,” Anne spoke.
Harry stuck his tongue out at the boy and turned back to you. “So, what do you think?”
“I love it. Thank you.”
He smiled and chastely presses his lips to yours.
“I’m going to the bathroom. Nobody touch my food.” Louis ran off and you smacked Liam’s hand out of the way.
“He’s had enough chocolate today!” he whined.
“And you haven’t?”
“Not really. Niall kept taking it from me.”
“I was hungry!”
“Oh, you’re always hungry.”
“I’m not gonna apologize for it.”
“Shut up!” Zayn yelled from his bunk. The bus hit a bump in the road and a thud came from the toilet.
“I’m okay! My bum is a bit wet from the water but I’m okay.”
“Oh my God! Be. Quiet.”
Nobody wanted to further anger Zayn so when Louis crept back into the room, you let the movie run and tried to whisper if there was anything that needed to be said.
“Hey… Is that Harry?” Niall pointed to a lump in the corner.
“You were supposed to be watching him, Niall!”
“I was! I thought he went to bed like an hour ago.”
You sighed and stood up to help drag Harry to his bunk, grumbling, “Let’s stay on tour for Easter, he said. It’ll be fun, he said.”
“Phoebs, go help Mum.” Louis said, taking a seat next to you on the floor.
“But I don’t want to!”
“I don’t care. Go help Mum.”
“Why doesn’t Daisy have to?”
“Daisy, go help Mum.”
Daisy glared as they argued their way to the stairs. “You just couldn’t keep your mouth shut, could you, Phoebe?”
“I thought Dan was helping your mom,” you said.
“Cos it’s crazy up there and I wanted some peace before we go out.”
“It’s your own fault,” you laughed.
“I know, I know. I didn’t think it would be this stressful, though. When I was a kid, Halloween was so much fun.”
“Look, as long as you don’t give any of them too much candy, you’ll be fine and the night will be over before you know it.”
“And then we can go home and do it?”
“Whatever you want.” You kissed him on the cheek and stood up to get the candy sacks ready.
“Sweet. Can we do the thing we never do?”
“No. But nice try, you almost had me there.”
“I just wanted to say… pints are on me!” Niall slurred into the microphone.
Zayn ran to the edge of the stage and beckoned the boy down before yelling that the pints were not, in fact, on Niall. The crowd of drunks booed him as he steadily helped Niall offstage.
“Pay for your own drinks, you pansies!”
You helped push him into the back of the booth where he couldn’t get out and got settled to stay there until it was time to leave.
“I knew we should’ve made Liam go instead. We’re out celebrating a holiday we don’t give two shits about with a boy that I’ve never been able to control even when sober.”
“Yeah, but look how happy he is,” you noted.
He looked absolutely delighted to be in the company of the both of you, despite being bound to the corner of the pub.
“I don’t think he’d be that happy with Liam up his ass. They’d both be too drunk to even comprehend what an ass is.”
He chuckled and Niall followed about five seconds later.
“I’m going to refill. Do you want anything?”
“Water would be great.”
You returned not three minutes later and Zayn was gritting his teeth. “What happened? Where’s Niall?”
“I don’t know.”
“I wasn’t even gone for five minutes!”
“He started saying something about Harry so I turned around to see if Harry was here and when I turned back around, he was gone. It was an honest mistake.”
“You never turn your back on him! We’ve talked about this, Zayn.”
“I fucking know! I thought if Harry was here, we could leave.”
Niall hopped over the table and tripped into the next, smacking his face on the edge of the wood. You gasped and rolled him over. His tooth was chipped.
“That hurt like fuck,” he groaned.
“I found him… and a bit of his tooth,” Zayn winced, bending down and leveling the broken piece to the one in Niall’s mouth.
Spacepunk, sass, and cute pets… need I say more? Gail Carrier never disappoints. I am only beginning to foray into audiobooks, and this full cast delight couldn’t have been a better choice. A sound track and sound effects were the cherries on top.
Maura was a Crudrat - one of the rejected, a blade-runner who could die on the job. There is only one worse fate on the space port: a Cypher. A ghost on the system; dismissed to die. Now she is one. She has only a fuzzy, autocratic murmel, a Crudrat friend and her Crudrat skills to help her survive. Soon she is drawn into a daring escape plan and begins to be embroiled in universe-wide politics.
Cravats, humour and kickassery are a given (it is Gail Carrier, after all). This time, Maura isn’t one of the upper crust. She isn’t anyone. It’s an interesting dynamic; the nastier side of human nature and classism are addressed. The world is creative and delightfully ridiculous, and the character dynamics fun. The narration was pleasant (the first I have come across in audio-booking). My only qualm was that the whole of space has an American accent (but that’s only because of the studio’s origin).
Overall, I highly recommend book, and cannot wait to get my grubby little paws on the sequel.
LGBTQ+: It’s briefly touched upon, but Maura is a child and states she’s not interested in defining her sexuality at present. It is implied there are other openly LGBT characters in the wider universe, but Maura has more life-threatening predicaments to focus on.
POC: Hard to say. It’s set in space with aliens of all different skin (and fur) colours. The human-ish people of the port involved all seemed to be white-“pink” or genetically modified whiter, though.