Ten days he’d been in intensive care and ten days you’d been by his side.
He was breathing by himself now at least, although his injuries were still incredibly severe. The combination of pain killers he was on meant that he was doped up to the eyeballs and asleep for the majority of the time. But at least he’d woken up. It had taken five whole days but he’d woken up. That was something.
You’d been at headquarters helping Penelope when the call had come in from Emily. Spencer, your colleague and boyfriend of two years… fiance really, had been shot. It had been a routine house call looking for witnesses, but they’d stumbled upon a drug den quite accidentally. Emily had been injured as well, but she was up and had been discharged. Spencer had taken the worst of it. You didn’t even listen as they listed his injuries, all you wanted was to see him. And when they’d finally let you into his room after a four hour agonising wait whilst he underwent life saving surgery, you’d been shocked. He was unconscious, looking pale and fragile in a hospital bed, tubes and IV’s streaming from his body and a breathing tube in his throat.
You’d fallen to the floor and both Derek and Aaron had needed to drag you out of the room, you clinging to your supervisor as you sobbed.
When you finally managed to compose yourself you’d been allowed back in and had taken up residence by his bed side, not moving for the next ten days.
The nurses were kind and compassionate towards you and the team kept you well supplied with clean clothes so you didn’t have to leave. You slept on a tiny cot the nurses had found and showered in the small bathroom available for families with members in critical conditions. The team took it in turns to sit with you, trying to keep you company and bringing you Spencer’s favourite books for you to read aloud to him. He may be unconscious but numerous studies had shown that he’d still be able to hear you, Spencer himself would tell you that if he’d been awake.
After five days he’d stirred and your heart had lifted. He’d coughed and spluttered as the Doctor had removed the tube from his throat, pleased that he was able to breathe by himself. Spencer had croaked out an “I love you” and had fallen quickly asleep again.
Since then he’d been in out of consciousness, holding lucid conversations with you one moment, and slurring from the morphine the next. He hated being drugged, but he had very little choice given the state he was in.
He’d had to be rushed back into surgery once more two days ago. A piece of bullet that hadn’t been removed had shifted inside of him, causing internal bleeding and a build up of fluid in his abdomen. Since then he’d been back on oxygen. Not a tube down his throat this time, just a mask. But it was scary enough.
You hated this. This wasn’t meant to happen.
Ten days he’d been in this bed he’d been told. Ten days. Sometimes he was in pain, sometimes it was like he was floating on a white fluffy cloud.
There were times when it seemed like he was looking down at his body, looking at the beautiful girl who hadn’t left his bedside for ten days. The girl who he’d asked to marry him only two months before.
Spencer loved her so much, and her pleas for him to keep holding on were all that was keeping him here, making him fight. His body was weary though. So weary and tired. During the moments he was awake he relished the feeling of her hand on his, the touch of her soft lips on his forehead. When he was asleep he could still hear her, reading his favourite stories that he knew off by heart, her voice soothing him. She was everything to him.
Yet… He knew. Somehow, he knew.
She wouldn’t leave him though, he’d heard the team, his amazing teammates that he loved and adored, they’d all begged her to go home and get some proper rest. But she wouldn’t leave. Sometimes in the night he’d wake up and see her curled into her a ball on the cot in the corner of the room. Oh, how he longed to crawl next to her and to wrap his arms around her and never let her go.
She was dozing now, her head on the hospital bed next to his hand. His best friend Morgan was sat by his bed, keeping her company.
Derek glanced over, seeing he was awake.
“Hey buddy,” he scooted his chair closer to the bed.
“What time is it?” Spencer couldn’t see the clock on the wall. He didn’t have his glasses and his contacts had been removed days ago.
“It’s about 11pm. I came after work, hoping I could convince Y/N to go home. She’s not having it though.”
She needed to leave. Spencer needed her to leave. He was so tired, in so much pain.
But he couldn’t.
“Derek, if anything happens to me here, you’ll take care of her won’t you? You’ll keep her safe for me?”
Morgan noticed the urgency in his friends voice and reached out and patted his hand.
“Course I will Kid. But nothing’s gonna happen. The doctor’s have got you covered.”
Spence gave a weak smile, “Will you wake her up. I’m going to try to get her to go home. Will you… will you stay with her if she goes?”
“Sure thing, Reid,” Derek stood and walked around to where Y/N was sleeping, nudging her gently.
“Hey, Sleeping Beauty. Lover boy is awake. He wants to talk.”
She rubbed her eyes, raising her head from the hospital bed and immediately taking Spencer’s hand, not noticing how cold it felt.
Derek sensed that Reid wanted to be alone with her and left the room, hovering outside the door.
“Hey,” Y/N smiled her beautiful smile at him. A smile he’d take with him. Even in her sleep deprived state she was still the most amazingly beautiful creature he’d ever seen.
“Hey… Y/N, I need you to go home,” his voice was clearer than it had been before, had more power and strength behind it.
She shook her head, just like he knew she would.
“Please Baby… You’re so tired and it hurts me to see you like this. You need a good nights sleep. You need your strength to look after me. For when I come home.”
He gave her hand a squeeze, not letting the effort it took for him to do that small motion show on his face.
“I don’t wanna leave you alone. What if….?”
“Nothing’s going to happen. I feel much stronger today, I’m not in as much pain, I think I’m starting to heal. And I’m surrounded by doctors. Do you think they’d let anything happen after all the effort they’ve put in? I’m fine. In a few weeks, I’ll be home and in a few months, this will be a distant memory. I promise.”
The Bureau had taught him to lie and he hated how easily the words were slipping from his mouth.
She studied his face. His voice did sound stronger and he wasn’t slurring. She glanced at the machines by his bed. She’d learnt to read the vitals that were displayed over the ten days she’d been here, and they seemed stronger than ever. Maybe… Maybe he was right.
Spencer could see her wavering. “Please. Go home. Derek will go with you. Get a good night’s rest in our bed and have a nice hot bath. When you come back tomorrow I want to see you fully rested. Okay? Please…”
She stood from her chair, leaning over the bed and pressing her lips to his dry chapped ones.
“Are you sure?” she asked quietly.
“Yes. You need to sleep properly, I’ll be fine.”
She kissed him again, whispering “I love you” to him.
He repeated the words to her, savouring the look on her face as he said them.
“I’ll be back tomorrow, bright and early. I love you.”
“I love you too. Now go!” he feigned a chuckle, trying not to cough. His chest felt suddenly heavier, like it was drowning in fluid.
She grinned and picked up her bag, exiting the room.
The next time Spencer saw her, she was asleep in their bed. Her hair had fallen over her face and she was clutching his purple scarf that he loved so much.
Softly, I will leave you softly
For my heart would break
If you should wake and see me go
So I leave you softly, long before you miss me
He hated himself for lying to her, but he needed her to leave. If he heard her beg and plead with him again, he wouldn’t be able to stand it. And he just hurt so much, he couldn’t take the pain anymore. He just wanted it to end.
Long before your arms can beg me stay
For one more hour or one more day
After all the years, I can’t bear the tears to fall
So, softly as I leave you there
He reached his hand out, brushing her hair back and watching her chest rise and fall with each breath. She’d be okay. They’d take care of her. Derek had promised and he knew the others would make sure she was cared for.
The few years they’d had together had been the best of his life. He’d been lucky to have had those few with her. Never in a million years would he have ever expected to have shared the joy and love that he had with her. He’d take those few years, it was more than a lot of people had.
He sat and watched her, running his hand along her arm and seeing her shiver and pull it under the covers.
Softly, long before you kiss me
Long before your arms can beg me stay
For one more hour
Or one more day
After all the years, I can’t bear the tears to fall
So, softly as I leave you there
He heard the faint ringing of a phone down stairs, Morgan’s cell.
He needed to go. He moved away from the bed, to the corner of the room as he heard a loud “NO!” from downstairs, followed by the sound of footsteps charging up the stairs.
Derek flung the door open and Y/N awoke instantly, turning to look at him.
Her face crumpled immediately, she knew. Derek didn’t need to tell her. “No no no no no. Oh god no.”
Derek crawled onto the bed next to her, wrapping his arms around her and she repeated the words over and over, tears spilling free from the both of them.
Spencer watched, his still heart breaking. This was why he’d needed her to leave. He couldn’t leave with her in the room. She’d never let him.
In essence thinking back with a mature mind it was just the wrong time for the both of us, we were just too young and we went too fast.
You weren’t a bad person and neither was I… It’s important to remember no one was in the wrong, we didn’t know any better.
I really think in a different time under different circumstances we could’ve made it a happy ever after, but sadly life gives us the right people at the wrong time and that creates for a toxic relationship and it’s not each other to blame it’s the timing.
Truth behind Asian Media & Entertainment companies
First of all, I decided to be anonymous because of course, I don’t want to lose my job. Any people I know in real life might find me in no time, so I don’t want to take the risk. I will be stating some examples, I’ll try to be less specific as possible so I wouldn’t give in the identity of the artists I’ll be talking about. Anyway, if ever I don’t make any sense explaining things, I apologize because English is not my first language.
Second, why am I writing this? I’ve been seeing indirect arguments between some Kaisoo shippers and some Kaistal shippers regarding SM Entertainment, etc.
I will have to be honest here: it kind of annoys me when some people drop statements about Asian media as if they know everything about it. Also, I feel really bad for the people who are manipulated. So, I decided to reveal what I know. But I wouldn’t be shocked if there are still people who will chose not to believe in what I have to say, so, I’m not here to force you to believe. I just wanted to share some truth behind BIG entertainment and media companies like SMent. (I emphasized BIG because not every companies does this because of the risks & because they’re not powerful enough like the BIG ones). I want you to be open minded about this, I don’t want everyone to be totally fooled.
Third, yes, I’m a fan of EXO, SNSD, f(x) and Shinee. They’re the only groups I thoroughly followed since the beginning. But I will not state who my biases are and who do I ship because it doesn’t matter, I will not be biased on my statements. I will be stating facts from real life experiences I have from studying and working in Asian media & entertainment industry. I won’t be on Kaisoo shippers’ side, nor Kaistal shippers’ side.
Lastly, I don’t work for SM Entertainment or any entertainment companies in South Korea. I work for a big media and entertainment company somewhere in Far East Asia (East and Southeast Asia, I’m sorry I don’t want to be very specific about this for obvious reasons). I’m not going to claim that everything I’m going to say about media companies are 100% evident and true in SM, but everything I’m going to say is a common practice among media and entertainment companies in East and Southeast Asia.
I will answer questions/arguments/assumptions that frequently come up because of the Baekyeon & Kaistal issue and this insider info in 2012. This is just an eye-opener for those who are not familiar w/ how the media & entertainment industry in Asia works. My purpose is to let you guys be aware of some of our practices, I don’t intend on going against any companies and any people.
Is everything scripted? What they say on interviews are scripted?
Not all the time. Expected and general questions are usually half scripted, half scripted because we only say the gist of what they have to say, we don’t require them to memorize everything, of course. This is for PR purposes, it’s for their image and the image of the company. The artists know it anyway, that they have to keep their reputation good no matter what. Also, it’s the company’s decision if the artist will have to keep quiet about a certain topic.
Are artists really packaged? Aren’t they showing their true personalities?
Not all the time. We only do this to artists who are considered important for the company, or the company’s favorites. One example is this actor-singer under our company, we debuted him with a manly image, a lady’s man type (because he really is handsome & looks manly). But in real life, he’s actually gay. There were scandals about him being gay because he was caught two times (he’s so stubborn about going out at night, I’ll talk about this later), 1st: w/ another actor from the same company, 2nd: w/ a male singer from the same company, but our company remained silent about it (it’s actually a strategy as well, keeping silent about a scandal, because if we refrain from talking about it, then people will forget eventually). So the company continued on giving him projects as if no scandal has ever happened. The journalist who reported both incidents later apologized in public, she/he received a lot of hate actually because the public really loves this guy whom they truly believe is straight. There is also this one singer whom we debuted as a “sexy-type” lady. But she’s actually the girly and shy type in real life.
Are artists really paired beforehand?
Again, not all the time because we only do this to important and favorite artists of the company. We choose those who look physically good together. Actually, there’s a certain pair that has no chemistry at all in real life, like they don’t even care about each other (but they became friends eventually since they’re always together). They each have their own private romantic relationships w/ non-celebs, but since they look physically good together, they were paired. So our company reported & confirmed that they are dating in real life (I’ll talk about fake dating later). But fans saw the guy with another girl recently (even took a picture), but the company remained silent about it, as always. Probably soon, they will release a statement that “they’re only friends” if the issue is still alive for a long time. BUT! There are paired artists who eventually started real romantic relationships because they actually fell in love. Like this dancer couple (who got married) and these two singers (who, sadly, broke up). ALSO, there are a few real relationships whom we took advantage of IF and only IF they are famous & are loved by fans as a couple (this is kind of rare though).
Is fake dating really a thing/marketing strategy?
Yes. If we learned that a lot of people loves seeing them together, then we will show what the public wants to see. But we mostly do this to create hype for both artists & their future activities, and of course, the profit that the company can get from it. But what if the public suddenly doesn’t want to see them together? How about the fans who would be brokenhearted? This will be bad for both artists! Honestly and unfortunately, the company doesn’t care. It’s true that we consider all publicity as good publicity. We actually have this phrase: success from scandal. After the scandal (any kind of scandal actually) arose, we will not bring that up ever again. We’ll continue giving the artist their activities to still promote them, & proceed as if nothing happened. This is very effective actually. Anyway, I saw someone said that why would they do this to get attention, they’re already famous! Because we only use the “reporting/confirming a fake relationship strategy” for artists who are already famous. We will never get the attention we want if we suddenly report that there are two not-so-famous artists dating.
Do entertainment companies have control over what other media reports?
Yes. But only those big, influential & powerful companies can do that, especially those who have partnership w/ other media companies. Those who have the money. Even the government and powerful politicians can control what the media reports. Media practitioners actually have this code of ethics like others have, but there are still people who chose not to follow (journalists who accept bribes!!!). But that’s a different story. You know, money is such a powerful thing. You can’t underestimate money when it comes to businesses.
Does the company have control over everything involving the artist?
Basically yes, since the artist have to ask permission before doing anything that the company didn’t ask them to do. Like, even if the artist has free time, they still have to ask for permission if they can have a vacation on a certain place, or if they can hang out with this person. There are artists who are stubborn about asking for permissions actually, they sneak in and do what they want. Because of their stubbornness, scandals may arise (it happened for a few artists actually, like what I mentioned earlier). If that artist is very important for the company, we will still keep him/her even if he/she is very stubborn. But of course, we will warn him/her, but we will offer some benefits for them to obey and stay w/ the company. If the artist is not so important, we will have to ask him/her the question: “this or the company/contract/career”. So yeah, company favorites are pretty much treated very differently than the others.
In conclusion: here’s a famous saying, “truth is stranger than fiction”, w/c is true in so many different cases. Remember thatNOT EVERYTHING shown is TRUE especially about celebrities who are under a contract w/ very big companies and agencies. We will never fully know every truth about these artists, especially their true feelings, personalities, relationships, sexuality, and their private lives. As for Baekyeon & Kaistal and others, since the insider info was posted in 2012 and what stated there are actually practiced in the entertainment industry, there’s a high probability that the couples are fake. There’s also a possibility that they’re real and SM just took advantage of it, but it’s less likely. BUT, we will never know if they actually felt something for each other or not. Maybe they did fell in love w/ each other, or they actually have other romantic relationships that the public doesn’t know. Or they’re actually single. Who knows. There are many possibilities but they only know the truth themselves, of course.
I have nothing against SM, any people, any ships. The sole purpose of this is to be an eye opener for those who are not familiar w/ the media & ent industry in Asia. I am not claiming that everything I said are 100% evident and true in SM Ent, but everything I said is a common practice in Asia, and is true in my country and our company. What I said is true & are based on my experiences.
I didn’t include links, pictures, other proofs because I don’t want to give in my identity, my nationality, and the company I work in.
I’m a lazy but busy person, I wouldn’t waste my free time writing this if they were all lies. But I know that there are still people who will chose not to believe, but who am I to force you? Just remember this: themedia and entertainment industry is very manipulative, DON’T let media control and fool you. There are many studies, research, and theories regarding the media and its effects on the public (when I was in college, we memorized a lot of theories regarding media and its effects, just search about it if you’re interested, you’ll understand media even more!). And even though media has negative effects on the public, they will still continue with their doings. Because it’s business. It’s the industry. It involves money.
So yeah, in general, don’t be fooled. Also, there’s nothing wrong w/ questioning the media because you have the right anyway (because remember? media claims to “serve” the public, entertainment companies claim to “do this for the people”).
Have a good day! Let’s have peace w/ one another :)
What if one day Togami was reading in the library and being a saltier sour-er lemon wedge than he usually is so what if Naegi (already his bf at this point) sneaks up on him and tries to scare him and presses his thumb into a pressure point on Togami’s neck-
That results in a pretty loud moan and a gasp from Togami. Naegi is blushing bright red and Togami looks ready to crawl in a hole or a ditch and die regardless if it will soil his suit or whatever the fuck he wants to call that thing he wears he’s fucking Togami Byakuya you bet your ass he calls it something more extravagant that ‘suit’ but to the point-
Naegi is blushing p hard and trying to hide the fact that he gOT PRETTY FUCKING AROUSED BY THAT ONE SOUND while Togami hides his face in his hands while steam practically comes out of his ears.
Now that Naegi knows that every time they have da sex (let’s be real it’s Naegami they could get p kinky) Naegi goes for the neck and let’s just say Togami ain’t exactly the Seme anymore.
YOU GUYS NEED TO HEAR THIS OR WRITE THIS PLZ I AM IN GREAT NEED-
This is for Nessian Smut Week (fans myself ‘cause boi is it getting hot). You should probably have a mature mind before reading the story. *But let’s all establish that dirty minds are welcomed as well!* Anyways fair warning this is the first time I have ever attempted any sort of smutty goodness…or in this case it could be a crash and burn smutty fic! Let me know what you think and I will try to improve my writing style!
Nesta walked through the Illyrian camp with commanding posture. She had just finished helping the younger trainees during their agility exercises. Nesta made it a point to train both the females and males together to bring forth positive connections. Considering how the older males were a bad influence on demeaning the females Nesta made it a point to demolish those negative views. Perhaps overtime the younger generation will work side-by-side without the threat of cutting off wings and having a sole purpose for breeding. The thought of it made Nesta shiver in rage at the thought of the females’ wings being clipped and told they had to breed.
The warmer season was finally here. Snow flurries turned into sleet and the frosty air gradually warmed to melt the snow that blanketed the pine trees and ground. Nesta was glad that today harbored mostly clear skies. A perfect day for the Illyrians to fly and train in the sky.
Nesta passed by the last training rings filled with sparring soldiers. She nodded her head in greeting to a few of them who returned her greeting with respect.
It had taken a considerable amount of time to earn the respect she received from most of the Illyrians. Nesta didn’t regret one moment of the fights of steel will, wit and blade that enabled her to have the valued position she held.
It didn’t take long to walk through the tented areas centered around large fire pits. She neared the tree line where permanent buildings stood against the backdrop of the forest. The gray stone reflected light from the sun and smoke filtered from the chimneys.
Evening had settled by the time she had finished training the younger ones and honestly she was ready for a hot meal and warm bath. Nesta entered one of the gray houses. Rhysand’s mother previously owned it. Cassian usually made sure that him and Nesta would have the building during their stays at the camps. Some of the generals still gave them shit for it, but they couldn’t argue too much since there had been five more buildings recently built to help house the Illyrians. Two of them were made specifically for the younger ones. Cassian was extremely proud of those homes and made a point to make sure it was up-kept by the residents. Then there was one building to house the sick and injured to make sure their recovery process was quickened. No sense of being out in the cold with injuries and illnesses when they could be quickly treated indoors. The fifth new house was home to the strongest Illyrians who proved their worth. It was a reward that many Illyrians sought and thus made the soldiers work harder to earn a room.
Nesta entered the house her and Cassian shared this month. She looked around the front room. The kitchen, living area and dining room were empty. There were no sounds coming from upstairs, which meant Cassian was still with the war generals in a meeting. Usually Nesta accompanied him to the meetings, but she decided to train the young ones today instead.
Nesta smiled. This meant would have time to bathe and try on the new Illyrian leathers she received from one of the female warriors who was skilled in tailoring. It was one of the new types of fighting gear designed specifically for a woman’s body. Nesta was thrilled to try it on considering most of the armour she tried on fit either too loose or far too tight.
She went to the far end of the house and opened the door to the bathing room. It was cramped, but Nesta was thankful that the home even had a tub that offered warm water along with a toilet and sink. Within minutes she finished bathing and went up the narrow staircase to the room she shared with Cassian.
She wondered when her mate would arrive back from his meeting. Sometimes he would be gone long into the night. Tonight though she wanted him back home and in their bed. They were so preoccupied with the camps this past week that they didn’t have a moment of free time to vent out the sexual tension that rippled through them. A few times Nesta wanted to tackle Cassian in the ring whenever he would send her suggestive images of what he wanted to do to her. Many of which involved them rolling around in the mud and releasing the beasts that lingered inside them. The kind of beasts that didn’t care who was watching or where they were when they claimed each other in the most intrinsic ways possible. Nesta had shot back similar images along with a gaze that made Cassian narrow his eyes in want.
Nesta decided that tonight she was going to give Cassian a taste of those images they sent each other down the bond.