matty k

letmestargaze36  asked:

2p boyfriend Canada headcanons please I love the one you did for Allen

2P!Canada BF Headcanons

  • wot
  • i’m sorry
  • did
  • did someone say maTT HECKIN’ WILLIAMS???
  • HE UR BOI???
  • U R S ???
  • A A A A A A A A A A  A A A A A
  • is paul bunyun only a thing in minnesota?? sorry canada :,)
  • this heckin’ loser is such a sap for you
  • he loves disney movies and will cuddle up on the couch with you for hours on end marathoning
  • he is tol and will reach the things on the shelves for you if you’re smol
  • ???? if you’re toller than him???
  • ?????
  • ?????????????
  • how u do that
  • he will love you regardless
  • loves to spoon
  • loves to flop onto you
  • he’s a whiny baby
  • a big ol’ canadian man-child
  • but he does it internally
  • huff n’ puff™
  • he’ll build you a house, not blow it down
  • actually he’ll fix your car
  • and your sink
  • all of it shirtless
  • ;)))))
  • dang boi he ripped
  • he’ll invite you to stay in his cabin in Canada bc he’s a Quebec bby
  • then he’ll chop wood for a fire in the forest behind his lil house
  • it’s snowy
  • you’re inside making some hot chocolate or coffee or tea or whatever you like and literally just steaming some maple syrup with a dash of milk for him
  • what the fuck matt
  • you savage beast
  • this primitive being will also make u pancakes at 2AM dang
  • shirtless^
  • his lil scruffy beard and grumpy face all the time
  • he’s so cute
  • you might not have a mattress when you’re together tho tbh ;)
  • his majestic hair, too???
  • mattpunzel???
  • he will let you play with it
  • in fact he’ll do a lot of seemingly out-of-his-comfort-zone things for you
  • he also gives great hugs, but he’s a lil awkward awh
  • goes camping 25/8
  • “let’s go outside” “babe we are outside”
  • he’s outdoorsy and will love you even more if you are too
  • if you aren’t tho that’s chill, he’ll build a tree house and you can be lazy in
  • there while he adds a deck extention and obstacle course
  • d a d d y
  • ^ tbh he has that kink but is too shy too admit whoops
  • swanky dank truck
  • jk it’s old af but still p sexy
  • he also has approximately 13 million cds shoved in there
  • help
  • him and Al fight/mess around a lot so be prepared to help him not take over hte city
  • he’s also pretty antisocial so you should do him a solid and take him out sometimes
  • his favourite spots in the city are cute and quaint places no one will judge or be disturbed
  • libraries, book shops, cafes; etc
  • he is also badass i am just naming cute things i’m sorry help
  • no mercy in his rink
  • n o n e
  • okay a little if you aren’t good at skating/hockey
  • he will teach you it’s okay
  • go to his games pls he will love the support and motivation even if he doesn’t tell you face to face
  • his family is a little wooo so if you can handle it you can stay
  • sexy french ;)) honhonhon
  • he’s a nature hoe don’t try and stop him from bringing in 24 animals under his flannel
  • “can we k-” “no mattie” “:(”
  • he’s a disney princess but super protective
  • he will destroy any sign of danger all whilst making sure you’re protected from the cold
  • not the best at expressing love verbally but say the word and he’s there with your favourite flower and a butterfly knife (no intent to actually stab someone don’t worry maybe he’ll just cut off the thorns from a rose or a man’s fingers)
  • matt williams everybody
Matt thiessen quotes

“Well, I guess I’d better start working out then!!” - (in response to being referred to as a sex symbol)

“I chased a little kittencat around outside. If I would’ve caught it I would’ve dressed it up like ghost and scared brian half to death.”

“We were off of the highway eating somewhere, and Brian saw a sign for a thrift store. The sign said "jesus rules 50percent off everything” We though that was really funny. So, Brian and I went to investigate the thrift store, and (much to our dismay) it was closed. A sign on the wall outside said “bicycles outside are all 5.99”…So, I found this really cute pink bike, and i left 6 bucks under the bike rack. I love my new bike.“

"I also got a barbie bell for my bike today. Ding ding”

“I’m allergic to decapitation. Don’t try me.”

“Food was eaten, showers were taken, teeth were brushed, shoes were worn, and high fives were distributed.”

“Hey everybody - It’s Matt Thiessen from RK. Here’s another update on the new record…. but first I thought I’d share a haunting tale.So, I go to see a movie in Canton the other day with my buddies John and Kevan. It’s a crappy, rainy day in OH (which is quite frequent). We’re in the theater, and halfway through the movie I realize I don’t have my keys on me. Losing stuff like that is pretty commonplace for me, so I didn’t freak out or anything. BUT, after the movie was over, it hit me that I didn’t remember bringing in my keys. My friends and I searched under the seats ofthe theater, and the security people brought out this lost keys bin…. BUT no dice (dice = keys). So I assume that I locked them in the car…. not the biggest deal…but not a conflict I was looking forward to remedying. So the three of us walked outside, and as we approached my car I noticed my lights were on. Upon closer examination I came to the ridiculous conclusion that.. I LEFT MY KEYS IN THE IGNITION AND MY CAR RUNNING THROUGH THE ENTIRE MOVIE!!!!!! My doors were unlocked as well. The three of us had quite a laugh over it…who forgets to turn off their car!?”

“I’m sorry your mom hates us. I hate your mom. just kidding.”

“3/3/03 *day off look!!!!’s date has a lot of "threes” in it. Its like a forest of threes. Lets chop them down and roast fluffy puff marshmallows by a fire that we could potentially make.“

"Dave wore all camouflage today. I couldn’t find him anywhere.”

“Brian drank sea water because he wanted to be like a shark. He said later that he felt really sick.”

“I’m going to hold my breath till i pass out so i can go to sleep faster.”

“I am string cheese.”

“I’ll just say this…I almost (and I stress almost) would have rather gone out, and over the span of 6 years, bought a puppy, named him Molasses, walked him, fed him, fallen in love with him, watched him grow into a strong responsible dog, bared my soul to him, and then watch him run into heavy traffic and DIE…then see that movie in the first place (let alone EVER AGAIN). I just kinda disturbed myself…”

“This is Fort Washington (holds up his keyboard)cuz that’s what I named him…just now”

“Everyone likes to breathe…I think.”

“I remember my sweet 16. I got a Malibu Barbie. And I kissed a boy…wait, that’s gross.”

Fav thing to do with the band: “Invent games to play. One time we invented a game called Spam Ball. You take Spam out of the can and use brooms to play a messy version or street hockey.”

“Before the show, the sound system was being weird, and the lighting board crashed 3 times. We went on about 45 minutes too late. Thankfully, nobody in the crowd threw a brick on stage with a message that said "I was supposed to catch a bus home about 15 minutes ago. You owe me $4.35 for the bus ticket and a new brick.”

“If you guys are gonna throw things at me… like snap bracelets… please don’t aim them at my face.”

(while singing Sadie Hawkins Dance) “a bug just flew in my mouth and i swallowed it, but that’s not nearly as gross as you’ll be if you don’t sing the next part of this song”

“I wish i could eat cake and shave at the same time”

“This next song is another one from our album ‘Mmhmm’… I hate saying that.”

“Originally, Madison, Wisconsin, was named after me. (MattThiessen, WI) But y'know how Americans are lazy, and changed "You all” to “ya’ll”, “MattThiessen” changed to Madison.“

"Once when I was shaving my arms, I shaved one off. Then I sowed it back on with dental floss. Then I lied to you again.” “My car broke down 2 weeks ago, and I’ve been driving around in the band’s 15 passenger van. Not really that styling, but I’ve been picking up chicks. 14 of them at a time.” “I think that 'therapeutic’ is hard to spell, but also a very satisfying thing to know how to spell.”

“Our bass drum was just broken by the sheer power of Dave Douglas’s foot.”

[While on stage] “I just got hit with a dime… and a ball… and another ball. I’m getting hit with things. Many many things!”

“I just made an elephant noise with my mouth and seriously contemplated how to spell it… It can’t be spelled…”

“Whew. Look at all that information in that little tiny space! I must have magical powers.”

I couldn’t get girls to go out with me at my school [so] I’d show up to prom with girls from other schools and all the jocks would be like “How did he hook up with this hot chick?”

“I bet if I was walking by your house, you would invite me in for pizza.”

“The show was a fun time. Did I enjoy myself? You bet your armhair I did.”

“We did some playing, hanging outish stuff, and topped the night off with some hoteling. Then I murdered Brian.”

“Our whole band is totally crushing on Ryan Cabrera. I actually just had to google "Ashlee Simpson’s boyfriend” to find out what the heck Ryan Cabrera’s name is. I knew he was that one cute kid with the acoustic guitar, though. None of us are crushing on Ryan Cabrera anymore. Except for Matt Hoopes.“

"Our dressing room smelled like 10 horses had finished a game of poker in there the night before. (and horses don’t interrupt a game of poker to go to the bathroom … if you get my drift). I think they were betting with cow chips too.”

“I’ve been killing spiders since I was 30.”

“What’s the point of being a cowboy if you’ve always got to work?”

“We drove home and slept in our rooms with our nightlights off, so we could scare the bajeebers out of ourselves.”

“One time I offered to rake my neighbor’s leaves for ten cents an hour. I was so stupid.”

“I saw a stray dog. He did not attempt to bite my calf. He was clearly intimidated. Next time, I will smear Alpo on my calves and see if he gets a little more couragous. He won’t. This is due to one major factor. I am AWESOME.”

“I’m going to go write a book about how much fun it is to write books about avoiding exercise by writing books instead of exercising. And then I’m gonna go work out. Actually, no. I won’t work out. I will sleep instead.”

“Dave had to wear his shirt today, cause all these stiffly stiffersons didn’t understand that the concept that males going shirtless in public is well within the boundaries of the customs of the society in which we live. Dave used to wear a shirt, but then he’d get so aweaty that he’d take it off two songs in anyway. So now, he just doesn’t wear one. Its kinda like swimming…only in your own sweat (which is more fun, i think).”

“The show was fun and crazy and whacky and splendid and spacious and friday and sugary and timeless and horse cavities.”

“Tonight’s crowd was by far the best of this tour. They all ran around with mustard packets going completely nuts. Except I lied about the mustard packets.”

“The place we played today was huge. You could’ve probably fit the whole Indian Ocean inside of it. Nobody ever talks about the Indian Ocean. How sad.”

“Are You guys ready for the Baby-Got-Backstreet-Boys?”

“If I keep writing It’ll start sounding like this. I just typed the letter "L”. I put quotations around it. I enjoyed that very much. Pretty much there is no physical way of me adding anything to this entry unless I put my computer down, go do something awesome, and then come back and write about it. Tell you what. I’m going to put this down and go do something AWESOME, but, you will NEVER know what it was, cause I’m not coming back. In your face, you.“

"We hung out at the Major League Baseball tent today, and I threw a 83mph fastball. With my left arm. BUZZZZ!!!!!!! Hoopes just buzzed me for lying. He follows me around with a buzzer. He’s kinda like my personal Pinnochio’s nose.”

“I dreamed of Canadian geese mistaking me for their leader and following me to the end of their days.”

“The Suicide Machines played today. Despite the scary picture their name creates in my head, the band is great.”

“I came to a conclusion today. Our band is from Ohio. But the physical object that our band was named after was created in Michigan. The conclusion I drew was that our band is technically originally derived from Michigan. OH and MI don’t get along that well, so its nice to establish some neutral territory for RK. We’re kind of like lake Erie. Actually we’re a LOT like lake Erie. So many things in common. We’re both responsible for the sinking of the Edmund Fitzgerald (consult your history books). We both like rock and roll. We both have names of lakes or cars in our names.”

“Dave and I LOVE to watch NFL and drink black coffee (but not always at the same time). And people thought we weren’t manly”

“I bought my mom a chocolate malt about 4 hours ago”

“Sometimes I go over to Matt Hoopes’ place for a 'hoopes turkey sandwich’. We make them with barbecue sauce and microwave them for 23 seconds. So good.”

“Our band does whatever we can to get out of paying for food. The number of unnecessary celebration dinners held last year was startling.”

“I made a paper airplane big enough for a pony!”

“At the end of the day, we got a fish-tank, two fighting fish, and pitted them against each other in, what we thought would be, an epic battle. Turns out that it was a lady fish and a man fish, and they just kissed on the lips the whole time. Love is a mystery than can only be grasped by the weak and vulnerable.”

“I had one of the best banana’s of my life. Gwen would be proud.”

“Matt H’s dog came out to the show today. He’s bitten me twice. I may throw him on a rotisserie grill one of these days. Wiener dogs. Ugh.”

“Our really great friend Sam Barnhart (formerly of Bleach) has decided to join us on the road and assume the role of road pastor

once upon a relient K show

matt thiessen gave me a shout out (on stage) to let everyone in chattanooga know that they were playing jefferson aero plane because i’d requested it the night before.

“we’re gonna play four new ones and then a really old one for our friend, anna, who’s in the crowd tonight.” *cue cheesin’ smile*

God knows me better than i know me, and He let matt thiessen call me a friend in front of the boy who once broke my heart, and the girl who waltzed in and won his affections. never underestimate my Jesus.