This morning when I was about to leave for an exam, I was standing in front of a mirror, wearing traditionally masculine formal clothes and brushing my short hair, and my mum called me her son. She jokes like that all the time so no big deal, but then she didn’t laugh or even smile. She didn’t laugh, I didn’t laugh, and we just moved on. And I thought about it all the way to the university.
Then I came back home and my grandfather called us on skype. He said he had a gift for me, and showed me a heavy-looking, stylish, men’s watches. He said that he originally bought them for my dad like twenty years ago, but my dad doesn’t wear watches, so now he’s giving them to me. My granddad, who has been giving me feminine jewelry and makeup for ages, clearly in deep denial about my gender expression. And hell knows if that’s a coincidence, but he didn’t use my birth name even once.
I don’t know what’s happening, but I don’t want it to stop.