shiro: hey, is it really true that you faked your death and then left a secret message on your grave revealing your true location in a code only your long-lost family members could possibly understand?
matt: ya lol
shiro: … why??
matt: because i’m a paranoid, bored, and dramatic gay with a genius-level intellect, that’s why. sue me shirogane
I CANNOT be the only one who is truly in love with Andrew Joseph Minyard’s canon height. Like it really does just make everything he does that much more impressive.
Here let me give you some examples:
•During one of the games, 6'5 starting backliner Matt Boyd hid behind 5 foot even Andrew Minyard when being chased by a character only referred to as Gorilla.
•Without even pulling out his knives, all Andrew had to do was stand between Matt and Kevin to get Matt to back off.
• 5ft BABY Andrew nearly kills 4 grown men when they attacked Nicky outside of the club??? Not just A man. FOUR. MEN.
• despite his height he still manages to take his short legs clear across the field at record breaking pace to break Riko’s arm before he can decapitate Neil. A+, Minyard.
•ALSO let’s just take into account that exy racquets are customized to the height and arm length of the holder SO while Andrews net is bigger the length of the stick is short MEANING when Andrew blocked The Impossible Goal™ in the bottom corner he had to be moving quicker than a fucking bat out of hell.
•despite being called a “midget with an attitude problem” no one fucks with Neil or his hubby bc they know better…
•“When I leave you wanna keep *hand motions* doin dis. But den when I come around you don’t wanna POST UP.”
•Also Andrew is canonically 3 inches shorter than Neil so Neil actually has to bend down to kiss his boyfriend OR (bear with me) Andrew has to stand on his damn tip toes
what upsets me about the show refusing to show intimacy between Malec is that it doesn’t have to be graphic at all, which I’m assuming is what they’re afraid of. It can be just Alec’s head on top of Magnus’s chest as they lay on sofa, fully clothed. It can be Alec absently rubbing circles on the back of Magnus’s hand. It can be Magnus hugging Alec from behind and them just standing there (maybe sneaking a finger or two under Alec’s shirt). Them playing with each other’s hair. Forehead kisses. Alec doing Magnus’s nails (or at least trying to). It can honestly be so touchingly intimate without them ripping each other’s clothes off or making out against a wall.