matt in a bathtub

Voltron but as things my family and friends have said/done

Part 2 right Here!


Shiro walks in and hears a crash from above: “What did you guys break now?” 

Pidge: That was the sound of my crashing hopes and dreams, Shiro! Hopes *Dramatic pause* and dreams…


Lance sitting across from Keith at a lunch table: If I put this butter in your hair, will you be mad at me?

Keith: *Throws applesauce at Lance*


Pidge looking at Coran’s Shoes: Why are you wearing socks with sandals?

Coran: Because it is Winter.


Hunk braiding Allura’s hair: Wow, it’s really soft, how do you do that?

Allura, very seriously: I dip it in the blood of my demons.

*Hunk lets go of the hair.*


*Lance singing along with a song on the computer*

Shiro: Can you quiet down, please?

*Lance puts headphones in his computer but continues to sing at the top of his lungs.*


Coran looking at baby pictures with Allura: Awe, look at you right here!

*Allura taking the picture from his hand and running off with it*: NO ONE SHALL EVER SEE THIS! IT WILL NEVER SEE THE LIGHT OF DAY!


Lance walking past Pidge: Whats up, Garbage?

Pidge: Nothing much, Trash.


Lance driving the car: Oh look Keith, cows!

*Keith glances at the cows then notices the cars about to swerve off the road*: LANCE!!!

*Lance straightens the car, avoiding the ditch*: What we were just going to go see the cows! *Laughs*

Keith: WE WERE GOING TO GO SEE JESUS!


Matt from inside the bathroom: Katie, can you come help me?

*Katie cautiously opening the bathroom door*:  What do you need my help with in there?

*Katie sees Matt covered in bubbles in the bathtub as the bubbles grow taller and tower over his head and spill over the tub*: 

Matt: The jets made them grow!! Help!!!

*Katie slowly closing the door*: I guess you could say your ‘Naked and Afraid!


*Acxa see Lotor messing with something by his locker*: Hey, what are you-

*Ezor is squished in the locker and Lotor is laughing uncontrollably*

Ezor: I wanted to see if I’d fit… I think I’m stuck guys!


*Hunk and Pidge out for lunch*

*Pidge drops a hot piece of Pizza on her legs*: Oh Mother F-

*Hunk motions at the Mother and child at the table next to them*

*Pidge under her breath*: Froot loops


*The team playing dodge ball*

*Keith trips and stumbles into Lance*: Sorry, so sorry!

Lance: Awe, you’re blushing!

*Shiro hitting Lance with a dodge ball*: Yes! Good job, Keith! Keep distracting the enemy!


Yeah, I thought it would be fun to put the weird things that the people I care about do, and mix it with my favorite show… *softly* what have I done?

The Hetalia CAH nobody asked for!

1P Allies-
Alfred: “When I am President of the United States, I will create the Department of… Daddy issues”

Arthur: “Next from J.K. Rowling: Harry Potter and the Chamber of… Getting so angry that you pop a boner”

Yao: “Alternative medicine is now embracing the powers of… Some god damn peace and quiet”

Ivan: “I get by with a little help from… Civilian casualties”

Matthew: “Kids, I don’t need drugs to get high. I’m high on… Getting really high”

Francis: “A romantic, candlelit dinner would be incomplete without… Sexual tension”


2P Allies-
Alex: “Today on Maury: ‘Help! My son is… Selling crack to children”

Oliver: “War! What is it good for?… Sunshine and rainbows”

Wang: “What made my first kiss so awkward?… Court-ordered rehab”

Victor: “During sex, I like to think about… Drowning the kids in the bathtub”

Matt: “Maybe she’s born with it. Maybe it's… Lumberjack fantasies”

Louis: “I drink to forget… Alcoholism”


1P Axis-
Ludwig: “Italians… Is a slippery slope that leads to… Saying ‘I love you’”

Feliciano: “What are my parents hiding from me?… The homosexual agenda”

Kiku: “Well if you’ll excuse me, gentlemen, I have a date with… A homoerotic volleyball montage”

Lovino: “What ended my last relationship?… A bitch slap”


2P Axis-
Lutz: “What never fails to liven up a party?… Bitches”

Luciano: “Here is the church. Here is the steeple. Open the doors and there is… Multiple stab wounds”

Kuro: “What will always get you laid?… My collection of high-tech sex toys”

Flavio: “I got 99 problems but… Being fabulous… Ain’t one”

anonymous asked:

Low key Tom and Edd would be too cheap to buy a tank or something like that so instead they just keep Shark Matt in the bathtub

Thank goodness they turned Tom’s old room into a pool!

anonymous asked:

26. Shiro and Matt from Voltron, please? And like the person home can be anyone you want.

kaskfgkaeyhfk this probably wasn’t what you were asking but this is all I could come up with.

Pairings: Matt/Shiro

Word count: 581

Fandom: Voltron

Warning: Panic attack

26. Midnight outing

Shiro would say waking him up at midnight on a weekday was something he’d never forgive. His sleeping hours were limited ever since he got the new job, so if he got any sleep at all, he’d guard it like a dragon guards its gold. So when his phone started ringing loudly at 12:26 am, to say he was grumpy would be the understatement of the year. He picked up his phone and didn’t bother checking the contact name. He answered with a small grunt. On the other side of the line all he could hear were small sobs and ragged breaths.

If ‘Bring Me To Life’ didn’t wake him up, this definitely did. He suddenly sat up in bed and checked the contact name. 

Keep reading

mermaid matt

the third installment of my tfc net group chat bullet fics

tw implied/referenced drug use, abuse, violence, murder, death

@exyghouls said: I sort of push birds into it sometimes. I’ll just be like “so how about mermaid matt” and wait. And if she doesn’t show up I’ll be like “birds I mean you”

  • Y’all don’t need to know how much merm lore I have
  • so we’re gonna go the basic route and H2O it
  • Matt’s basically human except if he’s submerged in water it’ll Happen
  • It’s not like one drop will do it but if it’s rlly raining hard he’s gonna evolve into magikarp
  • he can do the shots of athletes pouring water all over their heads and shaking like a dog w minimal risk
  • The girls find out when Matt’s walking into their dorm on April fools day
  • And it’s his fault rlly like he shouldn’t have thought it’d be safe
  • They rigged this huge ass bucket of ice water to fall on whoever opened the door
  • And Matt just went ahead and walked right in
  • The girls hear a high pitched scream and then a thud and rush over to see the fruits of their labor
  • And they get matt flopping around like “hey guys” and it takes a bit to explain
  • Basically being a merm is a recessive gene trait and his father and mother both had magic in their blood so when matt came along he was Super Magic so he does the merm
  • And like potentially he can be super dangerous and carnivorous but he avoids the ocean like the plague so he’s never had to fight off the instinct to Kill Things And Eat Them
  • so he’s p harmless flopping around on their floor
  • They dry him off w fluffy towels and hair dryers and proceed to watch the little mermaid and ask Lots of questions
    • allison: where the dick at on that tail
    • matt: I’m a fish 🅱️
  • And they get closer bc they shared a secret and become the badass girls w the mermaid mascot

Keep reading

Can you guys tell us some embarrassing Arthur Darvill stories?  

Matt: Arthur - there was a time in New York, I’m not going to tell you the real story here. It’s a bit of a story, the real story - it’s perhaps not for this environment. We were really late, weren’t we, for a press thing?

Karen: Oh, yeah.

Matt: And sometimes Arthur would get [imitating Arthur] quite sort of hit up, and he would be like, “GUYS, WHERE ARE YOU? WHERE ARE YOU? WHY DO I ALWAYS HAVE TO BE DAD?”

Karen: Yeah, like he screamed it, like really seriously.

Matt: And I’d just fallen in the bath, fully clothed.

[Karen laughs hysterically] 

Matt: It’s true. We’ll leave it at that, but…

[Karen continues to laugh hysterically].

Karen: I can’t believe that you fell in the bath…

Matt: Yeah, yeah…

Karen: I’m crying with laughter. You fell in the bathtub!

Matt: I know. She was there! And I was just like [stands up and falls back into chair].

Karen: I was like, “Are you okay?”

Matt: And we were just about to leave the room, and you were just, you were just…

Karen: I mean…

Matt: …on the floor, laughing at me. And then Arthur was outside getting cross cause I was soaking wet, fully clothed in the bath.

Karen: I mean really angry.

@altarbov

[text: Felicity] Are you really suggesting I will die on a bathtub?
[text: Felicity] I feel like I should be offended


{Text: Matt} you will if you keep falling asleep in there.  You’ve done that at least twice this month

{Text: Matt} if you’re tired enough to fall asleep in the bathtub I think that’s a pretty clear sign you need to take some time off

{Text: Matt} you know my dad has a place in Coast City, right? we could go there for a few days just you, me and Amy.  You could get some actual sleep for a change.

Matt and Karen's Panel at Calgary Expo 2014: Can you guys tell us some embarrassing Arthur Darvill stories?
  • Matt: Arthur—there was a time in New York, I'm not going to tell you the real story here. It's a bit of a story, the real story—it's perhaps not for this environment. We were really late, weren't we, for a press thing?
  • Karen: Oh, yeaah.
  • Matt: And sometimes Arthur would get [imitating Arthur] quite sort of hit up, and he would be like, "GUYS, WHERE ARE YOU? WHERE ARE YOU? WHY DO I ALWAYS HAVE TO BE DAD?"
  • Karen: Yeah, like he screamed it, like really seriously.
  • Matt: And I'd just fallen in the bath, fully clothed.
  • (Karen laughs hysterically)
  • Matt: It's true. We'll leave it at that, but...
  • Karen: (Karen continues to laugh hysterically) I can't believe that you fell in the bath...
  • Matt: Yeah, yeah...
  • Karen: I'm crying with laughter. You fell in the bathtub!
  • Matt: I know. She was there! And I was just like (stands up and falls back into chair).
  • Karen: I was like, "Are you okay?"
  • Matt: And we were just about to leave the room, and you were just, you were just...
  • Karen: I mean...
  • Matt: ...on the floor, laughing at me. And then Arthur was outside getting cross cause I was soaking wet, fully clothed in the bath.
  • Karen: I mean really angry.