A list of terms explained.

Capitalism: your mum washes your clothes.
You pay her a dollar.
She complains.
You call the police and claim she’s rioting.

Communism: your mum does the washing. You do the washing. Every night you salute a photo of your dad.

Socialism: your mum does the washing. You do the cooking. Everyone is theoretically happy.

Fascism: your mum does the washing whilst fearing for her life.

Nazism: your mum does the washing. You gas the laundry room.

Feudalism: your mum does the washing and pays you tax.

Liberalism: you watch your mum do the washing and feel really really bad.
“Something.must be done” u say.
Something may or may not get done.

Libertarianism: your mum does the washing. You believe you did it.

Religion: your mum does the washing. You thank god.

Atheism: your mum does the washing. You make a YouTube video demanding peer reviewed evidence she did, in fact, do the washing.

misogyny: you hate your mum whether or not she does the washing.

Patriarchy: your mum doesn’t exist. The washing is mysteriously done.

Men’s rights activism: your mum does the washing.You call her a whore.

Matriarchy: your mum does the washing. You do the washing. you are really happy pilling your weight in the house.

Gamergateism: your mum mentioned in her blog she did the washing. You doxed her.

Feminism: your mum insists you grow up and do your own washing.

White feminism: your mum hired a woman of color to do the washing.

Anti feminism: your mum has left you. A year later, You wrote “fucking whore” with the dirty clothes on the floor.

Hollywoodism: you are Colin Farrell. Your mum is Angelina Jolie. There is sexual tension. An unnamed black maid does the washing.

Islamophobia: your mum does the washing. She left out a sock. You brand her a hygiene terrorist.

Racism: your mum does the washing. She blames black people.

Cultural appropriationism: While your mum does the washing, You steal her dirty clothes mimic her in public. Public gives you money.

Colonialism: you barge into mum’s room. Claim you “discovered” it. Dump your dirty clothes on the floor.

Geekism: your mum does the washing and the cosplay outfit. You build a robot that plays chess and cricket. You sell robot to Google.

Neo capitalism: your mum does the washing.
You pay her a dollar.
You get her to do your mates washing.
Your mate pays you £50.

Corporationism: your mum considers not doing the washing. u pay your mate £35 to lobby on ur behalf. No dice. u sue for “emotional sabotage”.

Americanism: your mum does the washing. It’s in the constitution. END OF DISCUSSION.

Ableism: your mum is doing the washing. She has dementia. You call her a “retard.”

Mis-genderism: “cheers dude” you say, as your mum does the washing. She tells you she’s not a dude. “Whatever dude”, you say.

Mansplaining: your mum does the washing. You tell her how best to do the washing.
You have never done the washing.

Sexism: of course your mum does the washing.
Duh.

Cat-calling: your mum does the washing.
You wolf whistle at her. You are oblivious as to how fucking creepy this is.

Rape culture: it’s mum’s fault she does the washing/she asked to do the washing/she doesn’t do the washing as much as she says she does.

Egalitarianism: that one time you did the washing is proof its all equal and no one needs feminism any more.

Hip hop: everyday im hustling/ every day I’m hustling/ when I bring the basket/mama put the washing in.

Callout culture: your mum’s washing is problematic so you unfollow/block/subtweet/dose her mentions in acid.

Homophobia: you think it’s unnatural that your mum doesn’t do the washing. Against gods will, even.

Hotepism: Black women are queens. The white man is a devil. The black race must open their eyes.
Mum does the washing.

Narcissism: You look good in the clothes your mum washed.

Brexit: you refuse to put your clothes in the basket
In retaliation, your mum no longer does your washing
You wear smelly clothes.

Alt Rightism: your mum does the washing. All the clothes are white
She also has to wear a pepe costume. Because you find it funny.

Polling: there’s a 70% chance you will do your washing on Saturday night
Come Sunday morning it was all done by your mum.

Corbynism: your brother wants to radically change who does the washing
Your brother also hangs out with anti semites and looks shabby.

NASA: Your mum washes your astronaut suit and we only find out 50+ years later.

Toxic Masculinity: Your brother helped your mum do the washing so you called him a pussy to his face/drank all the beer/demanded a fight etc.

Same sex marriage: Your mums do the washing.

Have We All Been Calling Kylo Ren From ‘Star Wars’ The Wrong Name?

Found the link to the article about how Ben Solo should actually Ben Organa, based on the matriarchal society of Alderaan that Leia comes from.

“Based strictly off the new canon established since Disney took over Lucasfilm, it makes sense. The name of Leia’s mother was Breha Organa. She was the Queen of Alderaan while Bail was her consort, not the King. The royal family is the House of Organa. Why — in a culture that values the divine right of Queens — would the royal house name be patrilineal? It wouldn’t. Enter a throwaway line from Star Wars: The Phantom Menace that was originally meant to introduce an Alderaanian character that was cut from the final film (and thus the official canon).”

I’ve never looked too much into this side of the canon, but it makes sense to me. There’s more about it here. Let me know your thoughts.

How Thedas’ Matriarchal Society Would Actually Work

And why it would be plausible to be different in Tevinter.

Hoo boy, I had a fun time discussing this with my friends the other day. Which this isn’t the final post for this, just one I had to get out less I forget this discussion entirely.

So as we all know Thedas is supposed be a matriarch society with emphasis of it in the Andrastian faith, BUT Bioware does a pretty shitty job doing that/showing it. So let’s begin from the beginning.

Andraste was the woman to unite all of Thedas against Tevinter’s harsh rule. She is worshipped and held in high regard in Thedas and especially in Andrastism. This is where the matriarchy and matriarchal ideals come from. This automatically holds women in higher regard in society, especially as warriors and leaders.

Women and their families would deeply seek to have first born daughters, much like Andraste who only gave birth to daughters. A family with mostly sons would likely give the woman legal cause to leave and disown her husband. A family with a first born son would, on an unspoken level, be seen as less influential and prosperous among society. Not to say men couldn’t be successful or rise, it is just harder for them and they may be questioned in places of power (see King Markus Pentaghast) This would mean that in situations like Calian/Anora, Calian would be heavily scrutinized as being the reason for Ferelden lacking an heir. Regardless of the high acclaim of his family and the Theirin line.

Speaking of Cailan, we know he slept around on Anora. This would bring him even more vitriol, as we know Maferath slept with a woman outside of Andraste and Maferath (and any metaphor for Maferath) tends to be looked down at. Since it was Maferath who betrayed Andraste to Magister Hessarian. In reality, Celene wouldn’t have even given Cailan’s offer a second look, because she would not seek to wrong the Queen of Ferelden. For an action like that would be seen as an attack on Ferelden, an insult to their Queen (Leading Woman) is an insult to their country. A good canon example of this is actually King Calenhad and Thedas during his time, a majority of the leaders and those of high acclaim were women, while when Calenhad cheated on his wife he was shunned from the throne by all of Ferelden.

Which it is due to the actions of Maferath and Hessarian, that men would be at a disadvantage. For it was those two men who brought Andraste down and men, out of greed and jealously, that drew the Maker’s ire and made him turn away his gaze.

Meanwhile, things are different in Tevinter and they have more of a patriarchal society with the Black Divine, and a majority of men in the Magisterium. As well as gender being an issue for them. One reason is obviously spite, because it is Andraste who caused their empire to fall. However, it also goes back to the time of Andraste. In their stories it is played up on how Hessarian was repentant, it was him who gave Andraste mercy in her time of anguish. He who showed compassion to the Maker’s lady. He who after Andraste’s death spread hers and the Maker’s word to Tevinter, who gave her a voice once more. This, coupled with the actions of his wife, Lady Vasilia (Thedas’ version of Lady Macbeth), is what sealed the Tevinter patriarchy. Lady Vasilia being the one who convinced her husband to burn Andraste slowly and publicly upon a pyre, telling him to refuse her mercy. In essence, Tevinter would have basis to blame the fall of Andraste and the Maker’s anger on Lady Vasilia, who wished suffering on Andraste. Again while her husband was the one to raise his voice for Andraste. All of which would fit Tevinter’s twisted version/interpretation of the Chant of Light and why their Divine is a man (unlike the southern Divine who represents Andraste, their Black Divine represents Hessarian).

So yeah, that’s pretty much how it should be for Thedas with the canon lore in place and how we play it for our Tabletop, even though Bioware doesn’t show/see it this way.

“With the shift to a patriarchal sky-god religion, and followed by the Judaeo-Christian monotheistic traditions, the nature-reverencing goddess religions of the archaic world were suppressed, desacralized and demonized. The sacred sexuality associated with the cult of Inanna and Ishtar was condemned as prostitution. Lilith, who represented female sexual autonomy and protection of childbirth and children, was turned into a seductive demoness who stole children. Male priests and theologians found it easy to play up the terrifying aspects of goddess worship, as in the cult of Cybele, whose priests symbolically, and at times literally, offered their genitals in sacrifice to the goddess. The Indian Kali became increasingly polarized as destructive only, although the original image is balanced between birth-giving and death-dealing. Diana became the goddess of the witches. The Black Goddess entered Christianity from below as it were, in both her healing and threatening aspect. She was strongly associated with the 12th century esoteric Christianity of the Cathars, the Troubadours and the Templars, all of whom tried to overcome the dissociative split between nature-eros and dogmatic ascetic spirituality, and all of whom were savagely destroyed by the Church.”

~ Ralph Metzner (from: Green Psychology)
At photo: Goddess Tara (Tarina, Taya, Tabitha, Nastia, Thais)

La Chancla


No matter how fast we ran

we never escaped

the chancla

in the yarda,

en la casa,

por la manaña,

por la noche,

we never escaped

the “vas a ver” swing

or the “para que se te quite”

sting.


Even en la madrugada

con lagañas en las pestañas

we never outran the sonido

of the cachetada

from the leather

against butt cheek.


We never escaped it

because as fast as we ran

the chancla would soar

especially

on Domingo

cuando no limpiamos

well enough

cuando peliamos con primos

y hermanas

cuando quebramos los platos

en la cosina.


“Tremendo!”

“Tremenda!”

“Como friegan!” blasted like a siren

on both lados of la frontera

from Los Angeles

to Latino America

la chancla always crossed

sin documentos

an apestoso tool

of chingadasos y pain

por andar de traviesos

con friends.


When least expected

la chancla stalked us

en la esquina

donde señoras vendian

tantos tamaños,

and our mamas would try them on

look at us and demand

“me quedan bonitos, verdad.”

We would nod in agreement

knowing soon they would silence

the risas from our bocas

por andar de “mendigos.”


They followed us en el mercadito

con una seleccion de tantos colores

and the perfect fit nunca faltaba

y nuestra abuela se los probaba

mirando al espejo, decia,

“hay, si, estos, que lindos,  

me los llevo.”


And we shook when she smiled

with our hand over our heart

we pledged allegiance to our madres,

allegiance to the symbol of obedece o sufre,

la arma en la casa

que olia nuestros pecados

and put them on display

for the vecinos to hear our

“yo no fui!” cries

cuando siempre lo fuimos

y mama gritaba

“donde esta mi chancla?!”


Y la chancla siempre estaba.

Siempre despertaba.

Siempre salia debajo la cama

y encontraba nuestras nalgas

as we always surrendered

and confessed our crimes

to las mujeres who raised us

on the love of la chancla.


By Eric Eztli (frommyblood.tumblr.com)