maternal dean

Don’t Call Me Shurley/Sam and Dean

There was something strange about this episode, and I’m not sure I’m 100% happy with it, but I did like it. A lot. For instance, I liked (as I always do) the glimpse into the Winchesters’ daily lives - and I loved (as I always do) to see Dean’s adorable maternal fuckups. Because, well, Sam is a grownup now, and he’s even way more a grownup than his brother is (not debatable, surely?), and yet when it comes to the little things - like ironing - apparently it’s a given that it’s Dean’s job, probably because it’s always been Dean’s job - even if, of course, when Dean started to take care of his brother he was just a kid himself, so it was more about him playing house than actually knowing what to do. Which is why this little detail - Dean ironing with beer - I don’t think he did it to piss off Sam, or not completely, in any case. It’s just what he does, isn’t it? Underneath it all, he’s still that 12-year-old kid who had no idea how to do these things properly and never cared all that much, because boys and whatever.

So, yes, I did love that precisely in this episode where Chuck pointed out how dysfunctional his relationship with his sister is, Dean wasn’t coded as Sam’s brother, but as his parent. Because there - there we have something to work with. Sure, Chuck did say he was disappointed by his angels, by the whole of creation (by his children), but that can be fixed. That is something we can work with - whereas, when talking about Amara, there was never the possibility of - if not love - reconciliation, friendship, even respect. There was never anything between them, because Chuck is being and Amara is the absence of being. They may be two sides of the same coin, but they’re also nothing to each other. But the bond between a parents and their child - as fucked-up and toxic as that relationship can be - that is a bond that cannot be broken.

I’m not leaving you - ever!

Because Sam helping that little girl out of the car, that dented my heart a little. But Dean getting him to safety two seconds after that? As parallels go, not that subtle, but it still worked, and well, because I just sat there and Oh my God -

And then, of course, we have this:

(What that man feared the most? That his life was meaningless and nobody loved him. What Sam fears the most? That there is no hope, and his brother is going to leave him.)

"We're not exactly the Bradys"

The oediapal myth as it pertains to Sam being tired of all these motherfuckers messing with his shit

Sam/Dean thoughts

-except I mostly focused on Sam my bad

Summary: oops I incestnatural thoughts (~1K words)

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