Looking at the size of Mata Nui (the island) compared against Mata-Nui (the robot) raises an interesting disparity. The robot is supposedly about 40,000 miles, making it about as tall as Earth’s circumfrence. However, that would make Mata Nui (the island) about 5000 to 4500 miles long, which just doesn’t strike me as accurate. It would take several days to travel across it at highway speeds, when the implication is that you could get from one end to the other in about 24 hours by Ussal crab.
So let’s say that Mata Nui (the island) is about 50 to 100 miles. That would put Metru Nui at about 6 to 12 miles, which honestly makes sense. (Manhattan is very small, yet has an absolutely ridiculous population.) This would also make Mata-Nui (the robot) about 400 to 800 miles tall - considerably smaller, and infinitely more realistic. Still freaking huge, and still able to conceivably hold a whole world within, but not so huge that it breaks one’s suspension of disbelief.
(Side note: As for how Metru Nui’s huge population translates to Mata Nui’s seeminly sparse one, I’ve decided there are about three to four seperate villages per Wahi, with the Koro being the largest one with the added benefit of hosting the Turaga and the Suva shrine. Perhaps there are annual festivals where the Matoran of the ancilliary villages travel to the main Koro to catch up?)
We have all wondered at one point or another, “Why do the great beings need planet (Or continent, if you prefer) sized robots for covert observation?”. Well, what if I told you, the Great Beings did not have peaceful intentions for the use of Mata Nui?
First and foremost, why were they observing the cultures of sentient races, and gathering information yet unknown to them? They clearly were very well off, considering they had enough resources to cobble not one, but TWO robots big enough to eat the death star like a gumball. So, its not as if they needed it to know where to find resources or anything. One could argue curiosity, but given the scale of the project, its unlikely they were JUST curious. Something ELSE motivated this. They wanted universal conquest.
This also effectively addresses the size of the GSR. Whats the best way to conquer an alien race? Build a robot bigger then they can even COMPREHEND, of course! Sure, they could use tanks, spaceships, what have you, but nothing would get the white flag up as quick as having a planet-sized robot start orbiting your home world. If THAT doesn’t work, the Matoran Universe is filled with a menagerie of horrific creatures, namely, Makuta, which could FORCE them to submit to the Great Beings, whether they know they are serving the Great Beings or not. Heck, if that doesn’t work, I’m pretty sure Mata Nui could play interstellar Basket Ball with your planet and slam dunk it into the nearest black hole, if needed.
Of course, what could ONE robot do? Its not as if they have a whole FLEET of them, right?….Right? Mata Nui was definitely the first WORKING robot of his kind, we know this because of the comparatively primitive Prototype Robot being in shambles, and it being, of course, a prototype. Likely, the original GSR is just a test run, or at the very least, an “Alpha” edition of the robots they are going to use to conquer the universe. Since the building of Mata Nui, a LOT of time has passed. for all we know, the Great Beings could be mass-producing perfected Great spirit Robots. We never see or hear of anything outside of the Solis Magna solar system. Which is, to be frank, a very small frame of reference, with only a small handful of bodies in its system, likely none of them life-bearing naturally, apart from interference by the Great Beings. So, there could be SWARMS of them, ruining the lives of sentient beings throughout the cosmos, having been proven to be functional. Sure, perhaps the failures of the Great Spirit robot, chalk it up to fail safes or defects, did not accomplish any of the goals the Great Beings had for it aside from gathering some information. Even that was relatively limited. However, this IS the FIRST functional version of the robot we are looking at. Its not as if they WOULDN’T look at the flaws of the original and address them.
Going off of that, you may be wondering why Mata Nui DIDN’T do anything. I have two suggestions: Mata Nui wasn’t meant to, and was meant to simply test the ability to gather data of the Great Spirit robot’s design. That, or Mata Nui malfunctioned, and the rebellion of Makuta Teridax was a fail safe to drift the robot back to its true purpose. First thing he did when being in control of the robot was fly to Spherus Magna to fight Mata Nui, after all, presumably to conquer its inhabitants.
Infact, the creation of the Glatorian/Agori culture may simply be to be used as a test subject against the eventual attack of Makuta against Spherus Magna. They do not seem to like the great beings much, at the very least.
Of course, how successful the Great Beings are is a complete mystery, but I digress. In conclusion, its likely the Great Spirit Robot, was meant as a tool for conquering, and not as a fancy probe.
snopp give me your knowledge what is bionicles about
in the time before time, there were two dudes: mata nui, and the makuta. they were brothers, and makuta was the shithead one. mata nui was really nice and shit, so he made life and all of the matoran (regular people) and the toa (superheroes) to live in peace. makuta was like “fuck that shit” and knocked mata nui in to a coma and turned all of the animals evil.
then six heroes with amnesia showed up. these were the toa. they had all of the elements from avatar, plus one dude that specialized in rocks and one dude that specialized in ice. they had magic masks that gave them extra powers n shit. they arrived on the island of mata nui (named after the sleeping god) and collected more magic masks so they could defeat the makuta and save all of the matoran.
then they did that, and after that happened some evil bugs showed up called the bohrok and they started burning everything on the island. like, imagine if bulldozers were robot bugs and they were all just kinda bulldozing the earth clean. the toa stopped the bohrok by piloting sick-ass mecha and beating up the bohrok’s queens, who were two godzillas.
after they beat up the two godzillas the toa got dunked in this funky shit called energized protodermis. that mutated them and gave them sick-ass silver armor and made their elemental powers stronger. once that happened, some fuckers called the Bohrok-Kal showed up and tried to revive the bohrok queens. the bohrok kal were basically generals in the bohrok army and they managed to steal the toa’s (now called Toa Nuva because of their sweet armor) elemental powers. the toa had to go on a quest to find the legendary mask of time which lets the wearer have Dio powers. they found it, used the time stop powers to cheat and beat the bohrok kal, and got their elemental powers back
knock knock, who’s there, it’s makuta, turns out he’s not dead and he made six horrible lizard sons called the rahkshi. the rahkshi have the ability to turn good guys evil, and that happened for a while, but then he got better. meanwhile, this matoran named takua who basically Sucked Dick and was extremely shitty and his mask always fell off (masks are kinda a thing in bionicle) went on an adventure to find a way to beat the rahkshi since the toa kept getting their asses kicked by them. takua found the Legendary Mask of Light, put it on, and became the seventh toa, Takanuva, the Toa of Light. takanuva went down on his sick flying motorcycle and fused with Makuta, becoming Takutanuva, and stopped the rahkshi an opened the Thousand-Year Door that was nestled under the island of Mata Nui.
oh, also, takanuva’s best friend jaller died. takutanuva used makuta’s life force to bring jaller back and they unfused. happy ending.
behind the thousand-year door was another island under the island of mata nui: Metru Nui. the Turaga (the matoran’s village elders) showed up and said “ok so… we may have been lying about a lot of stuff because we never figured you guys would open that door. bombshell time, dudes: you seven aren’t the first toa. not by a long shot”
mind fucking blown
the next story arc is a flashback telling the tale of the Turaga, and how the Turaga used to be Toa. turns out, back in the past, Makuta tried to take over the super-advanced city of Metru Nui by impersonating the island’s mayor. the toa that would become the Turaga beat him up, but Makuta managed to wipe the memories of every Matoran and he severely weakened all of them.
No big, the Toa Metru (thats what the turaga called themselves when they were toa) thought. we’ll just wake them up OH WAIT. Makuta called his evil buddies, Roodaka and Sidorak, to come take over the island and let them breed their giant spiders all over it. Roodaka, who was a gigantic lizard dominatrix, and Sidorak, who was basically a Baron of Hell except also a gigantic pussy, were like “uh naw dudes this shit is ours” and mutated the Toa Metru in to quasi-modo lookin motherfuckers called the Toa Hordika. the Toa Horidka were half animal, half dude, and not in the sexy way either. some stuff happened, angst took place, they beat the Dominatrix and the Hell Baron, regained their original forms, and loaded all of the Matoran on to a boat to go find a new place to live that wasn’t covered in spiders.
turns out, they found the island of Mata Nui, conveniently located directly above Metru Nui. they were like “wait what we were underground the whole time” but this didn’t bother them that much. the toa metru sacrificed their elemental powers to fix the matoran, which turned them in to scrawny old people, and they started up a civilization on this weird tropical island with a bunch of amnesiacs.
so now with the flashback over, all of the matoran and the toa nuva and takanuva all move back in to metru nui. uh oh, bad news, shit here’s broken. you wanna know why shit’s broken? mata nui, the god, is dying. uh oh. god’s dying. that’s not good.
fortunately they find a solution: go find the mask of life, stupid. the turaga assemble a team of matoran (who were all relatively important characters that i neglected to mention) and shoot them out of a cannon to the place where the mask of life is.
whoops though. this dude, Karzahni, who’s an absolutely insane butcher who runs the bionicle equivalent of hell, catches the cannonball they were all riding on and decided to fuck with them a little bit. he gives them all new masks (which was a really awkward allegory for stripping them of their identity) and forces them to be his slaves. they escape though, hop back in to their cannonball, and go off to find the mask of life.
they make it to the island of voya nui, which is on the “real surface,” which is inhabited by these weird emaciated matoran that live pretty shitty lives. they’re being subjugated by a group of lizard gangster rappers called the Piraka. the matoran get struck by a bolt of red lightning and are transformed in to toa. they defeat the piraka, and free the matoran of voya nui. one of the piraka had the mask of life, but he dropped it, so the toa ignika (the toa from the last sentence, try to keep up), have to go down to the bottom of the ocean to get it.
down there they find a city called Mahri Nui, inhabited by fucked up fish matoran. turns out mahri nui used to be a coastal city on voya nui, but it broke off and sank. the matoran survived somehow and became weird atlantis people. down there there’s also these shitburgers called the baraki who were evil warlords before they got shipped off to the Bionicle Illuminati’s secret underwater prison. Mahri Nui crashed in to the prison, everyone got out, and now the barraki are terrorzing mahri nui. The Toa Ignika turn in to weird fish people too by a process that I completely forgot, they beat up the Barraki, and they find the mask of life.
uh oh. Mata Nui died. they were too late. unless one of them sacrifices themselves to revive mata nui, everyone’s fucked. Matoro, the toa of ice, sacrifices his life to bring back God. Mata Nui’s alive, dudes! he’s still in a coma, though
the toa nuva decide that it’s time to wake up Mata Nui, so they all hop in to the cannon and get fired off to this place called Artakha. at Artakha, they get outfitted with some guns and armor and they all fuck off to the center of the universe, Karda Nui, to go jump-start Mata Nui. at Karda Nui, they meat a team of dudes that are Makuta. Not THE Makuta, but just Makuta. Turns out “Makuta” is a species name and the guy we’ve been calling Makuta the whole time was just their leader. His real name is Teridax and we all wish we never learned what his real name was.
The Toa Nuva use their guns to shoot the Makuta for a bit, they all ride around on flying motorcycles, some shit happens that didn’t really make sense. Takanuva went on an adventure through parallel universes that didn’t really accomplish anything, and then the Toa Nuva manage to awaken Mata Nui.
Mata Nui, who is actually a giant planet-sized robot made by these guys called the Great Beings who is designed to explore the universe, stands up. Turns out everyone was living inside of Mata Nui’s body which is weird.
Uh oh, it’s Makuta again. Makuta Teridax. I’m just gonna call him Makuta. Makuta takes over the giant Mata Nui robot, revealing that this was all part of his grand keikaku. he ejects Mata Nui’s consciousness in to space and is like “see you later fucker!”
Mata Nui lands on a different planet, called Bara Magna. Here on Bara Magna, everyone is a fucked up mad max gladiator. Turns out Bara Magna was a dumping ground for the Great Beings who just kinda threw their trash there. Mata Nui teams up with the planets natives (who are all suspiciously similar to the inhabitants of the Matoran Universe) to find a prototype giant planet sized robot. Mata Nui hops in its cockpit, punches Makuta’s giant robot dick, and uses his magic god powers to bring Bara Magna back to life and make it all green and beautiful. All of the peoples of the Matoran Universe climb out of the giant robot and decide to live on the Paradise Planet. Everything comes to a sudden and unsatisfying end, because Bionicle toys weren’t selling well.
or is it???
A few real-life years later, Bionicle gets a hard reboot. All of the original Toa get new toys, the story takes place in a completely new universe, and a new story unfolds. The toa must find their masks of power again on the island of Okoto. They have to fight Makuta (a different one)’s evil Skull Spiders and save all of the Okotans. The story is significantly simplified, so there’s not much to talk about here. They get the masks, beat Makuta, they bring this guy called Ekimu the Mask Maker back to life, and then things get fuzzy after that.
Some skeletons show up, the Toa get new armor, and then…
the story ends.
The Bionicle Reboot toys didn’t sell well, so lego pulled the plug on them.
It still blows my mind that they had the “Mata Nui is a giant robot whose face is under the island” twist planned out from the start. This concept sketch by Christian Faber - which he considers the most important single drawing of his career - is from 1999, two years before BIONICLE hit shelves and nine years before it would be revealed in the story.
Words really can’t do justice just how ambitious BIONICLE was.
I have to imagine that dismantling the Mata Nui robot was hard for the Matoran. It was their whole world for almost their entire lives, and many Matoran would take tokens from their old homes and regions to remember their old lives by.
Except for the Voya Nui Matoran who would probably dynamite their old island and throw a huge party afterward.
So this thing is at least about two years old, but I haven’t put it out ‘cause I felt the joke here (as in, how the heck are can Mata Nui camouflage himself *inconspicuously* on other planets just by covering his face) was kinda lame and unoriginal. But since the subject became relevant recently, eh, why not upload it someplace…
Most beings who lived inside the Mata Nui robot considered eating to be somewhat barbaric and repulsive. Why eat when you can just absorb energy? How traumatic would it be for them after moving to Spherus Magna where there aren’t any energy wells to draw on and it becomes a choice between eating with their mouth or starving?
Imagine millions of beings suddenly going through a very messy phase where they learn to eat with their mouths. Like babies, more of it would get on their face than into their mouth.