mass notes

apparently there’s a bulletin board on the tempest where your crew can leave messages for you and your shipmates but from what the people who got to play the game saw it was generally just used for teammates to complain about each other

‘Peebee, where the fuck is my scarf. I know you have it. It’s convenient that you were talking about how soft it looks yesterday at the bar and now SUDDENLY it’s gone. My sister made that for me so if it’s not back in my cabin by the time I’m back from recon I’m going to strangle you by the arm straps of your jacket.’ - V

‘Whoever told Jaal that I am some expert on human copulating behaviors better hope they never need any extensive medical care anytime soon. I just had to spend four hours of my valuable time explaining to a seven foot tall Angara how clitoral stimulation works. P.S; I know it was you Liam.’ -Dr. Lexi

‘Whoever keeps changing my name to ‘Kaitlyn’, ‘Susan’ or ‘Becky’ on my locker and the official mission statements is going to get shot directly out of the airlock.’ - Lt. Harper

‘While I know Peebee might get on everyones nerves once in a while, the next person to try to jettison her escape pod off the ship in the middle of the night is on toilet duty for a week. I’m sick of this. You’re adults, not middle schoolers.’ - Kallo

  • MLM content in Mass Effect: Ugh, fine you homos here's two MLM dudes. No squadmates, only one counts towards the achievement. One is down in the basement so we don't piss off the straights by making him even marginally visible and the bi romance is heavily skewed towards F!Ryder anyway. Now get out of my Caucasian home.
  • MLM content in Dragon Age: Here's two MLM squadmates. One is entirely, exclusively gay. You can romance both of them, and their romances received just as much care and attention as the straight romances. And the gay squadmate's backstory entirely revolves around empowering him for his queerness and touches on LGBT issues in real life. Oh and if you don't romance either of them they hook up and never shut up about all of the hot, sweaty man sex they keep having, because fuck heteronormativity and fuck The Love That None Dare Speak. Oh and we've been doing this sort of thing since 2009. Anyway, what's good Montreal?

The Heart Book is regarded as the oldest Danish ballad manuscript. It is a collection of 83 love ballads compiled in the beginning of the 1550’s in the circle of the Court of King Christian III.

Shown above is the beginning of ballad no. 43. 

Store længsel, du går mig nær (Great Yearning, thou touches me). 

A later reader – the otherwise unknown Christen Masse – has added some notes, i.a. this pious hope: “gvd ende oc vinde alle mit er lende til en god oc gledelig ende amen” (may god end and turn my misery into a good and happy ending amen).

We do not know who compiled the ballads and instigated the writing of the Heart Book. All ballads except one – no. 66 – have probably been written by the same hand.

19.5 x 15 cm.

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I DIDN’T THINK IT WAS LITERAL

OH MY GOD

Apparently the patch rolling out tomorrow:

Includes this MOST VITAL improvement (no sarcasm; I’m dead serious):

  • Improved the appearance of eyes for human and asari characters

Dare we hope everyone will not look optometrist-dilated????

(The thing is, I didn’t mind the pupils on the asari; it added a little alienness. But Ryder’s eyes make me wildly uncomfortable.)

In other, non-related news, Voeld has become my Hinterlands. I no longer remember warmth. In my nightmares I see more points of interest opening up on the map. Always more points of interest. So many points of interest. “I can look into that for you,” says SAM. “No,” I plead. “Please. Let me leave. Please let me leave. I’m so cold, SAM. I’m so cold. I don’t remember what the Nexus looks like. I have memories waiting for me in SAM node.” More points of interest open. I have looked into the ninth circle of hell. There is no escape.

me and my datemate were discussing this the other day and like… please imagine the people on the citadel just being super chill about running into bigwigs and celebrities like the councilors, spectres, executor pallin, and so on

“well that was weird”
“the asari councilor just showed up and all you can say is ‘that was weird’???”
“well yeah she goes jogging every morning and we’re her usual pit stop i was just wondering why she got the chocolate scone instead of a bran muffin”

every now and then somebody finds a body bag in a dumpster and there will be a little space post-it note that says “spectre business, please don’t call c-sec”

“dude you know know salarian spectres always seem kinda really high when they’re on the news….. jondum bau just showed up and bought, like, ten cases of energy drinks and alcohol. each. i respect that dude.”

tabloids don’t buy pictures of big names doing mundane things at all. there’s no money in it. the entire citadel reacts with “why would you take a picture of someone going to the library….. they’re just trying to live their life……”

“yeah, saren arterius and nihlus kryik live down the hall. i mean, it’s sorta nice, cause they’re not always there? but then sometimes there’s blood on the carpet and it’s like, oh, i guess they’re back”

in 2185, shepard passes by the turian councilor on zakera ward. they nod at each other, but otherwise don’t interact. shepard’s squadmates ask them if they’re not going to go talk to him about reapers or anything, while his guard’s down. they solemnly respond, “look at him, he’s grocery shopping. you don’t disturb a man whose most important decision of the moment is which kind of breakfast cereal he’s going to want in the morning for the next couple weeks.”

Still thinking about Ryder being sick and Jaal fretting over her. Like I mentioned before, human diseases like the flu or a head cold are completely unknown to him. Seeing Ryder suffering utterly breaks his heart. He’s never seen her so weak, too weak to get out of bed. He tries to talk to her, but all Ryder can do is moan in her sleep as she’s burning with fever. Jaal calls his mothers who recognize the dire tone in his voice. “It’s Ryder, mother. She is ill…I fear she might be dying.” However over dramatic it may seem, Lexi doesn’t make light of the situation. She understands how deeply the angara feel towards their loved ones, especially when they’re in pain or suffering. All Lexi can do is tell Jaal that Ryder will be alright. She even lets him feel useful in keeping on eye on her temperature, and giving her fluids and food if she can handle it. I like to think that all the females on the ship find it utterly sweet seeing Jaal be so attentive to Ryder’s needs, teasing Liam he should be taking notes.