masked ichigo

Shit the shinigami and Quincy would say (if they saw each other at the grocery store): The Sequel


As requested by @soifonstar9 :)


So I did a list previously about the shinigami and the Quincy running into each other at the grocery store…and it went over pretty well. A sequel was requested, so here we are! More shinigami and more Quincy running into each other in the aisles of a supermarket!


1. As Nodt and Byakuya

Byakuya: What on earth are you buying?

As Nodt: I am doing a game. You have to buy two items that will most freak out the cashier.

As Nodt: So here I have pizza dough….and pineapple.

As Nodt: Which according to my research is currently the most frightening combination possible.

Byakuya: I am ashamed that we ever faced each other in battle.

As Nodt: You mispronounced “terrified.”


2. Giselle and Yachiru

Yachiru: That’s a lot of Halloween decorations!

Giselle: Halloween is my favorite holiday.

Giselle: I like to put up lots of decorations.

Giselle: And answer the door with a spray bottle of my own blood.

Giselle: To turn bad zombie costumes into really really good ones.

Yachiru: I think I’ll skip your house!

Giselle: You’ll miss out!


3. Kurotsuchi and Pernida

Kurotsuchi: You know, you were mildly interesting. Being a giant sentient hand and all.

Pernida: Thanks.

Kurotsuchi: Running into you might even be a chance for me to find out something more about you. If there is anything to learn.

Kurotsuchi: Only the magic is somewhat ruined since you have a shopping cart full of dozens and dozens of bottles of hand lotion.

Pernida: I get very dry.

Kurotsuchi: This conversation is over.


4. Bazz-B and Renji

Bazz-B: Dude! Up top! I heard you had a kid!

Renji: …

Bazz-B: A-are you leaving me hanging? Are you not a cool dude after all???

Renji: So I heard that you’re the one who killed Kira.

Renji: When we met the first time, I didn’t know.

Renji: Then I saw Kira again, later. Undead. With a giant hole through his chest. Guess that was you.

Bazz-B: So….this is a double high-five situation?

Renji: …see ya, Bazz-B.

Bazz-B: Just can’t figure that guy out.


5. Kensei and Quilge

Kensei: Is that your kid trapped underneath that shopping cart?

Quilge: No.

Quilge: Saw a kid who was crying, turned over the shopping card and trapped him inside this makeshift cage.

Quilge: You’re welcome, supermarket.

Small child: I have a fort!

Quilge: I keep telling you that’s not a fort!

Kensei: Guess I’m not so bad with kids after all.


6. PePe and Hisagi

PePe: Why, Hisagi! My former love muffin! How have you been?

Hisagi: …please tell me you did not just call me a love muffin.

PePe: Come here and give me a hug!

Hisagi: I am so not doing that.

PePe: Don’t you want to feel the love??

Hisagi: Matsumoto can so get her own juice next time.


7. BG9 and Omaeda

Omaeda: Uh, why are you staring at that sales person?

BG9: I can’t figure out how much these peaches are.

BG9: But the sales person does not seem to have a family member or a loved one I can threaten to kill.

BG9: I just don’t know how I’m going to get the information I need.

Omaeda: You could ask?

BG9: Of course! Use my data-gathering tentacles! Good call!

Omaeda: I MEANT ASK WITH WORDS


8. Rose and Mask de Masculine

Rose: So.

Mask: So.

Rose: You have James strapped into the child’s seat on your shopping cart so that he can clap while you shop.

Mask: Makes me the best shopper ever!

Rose: Gotta find a new supermarket.


9. Gremmy and Kenpachi

Gremmy: I don’t need to shop.

Gremmy: I can imagine anything I need. Bigger. Better. Cheaper than anything here.

Gremmy: So why is it that when I see you shopping, I want to shop better?

Gremmy: I want to beat you at shopping! Why?

Kenpachi: I dunno. Personal issues probably.

Gremmy: I DON’T HAVE ISSUES


10. Nianzol and Ichigo

Ichigo: Dude, that was amazing.

Ichigo: You just navigated your shopping cart through this crowded store without slowing down at all! How?

Nianzol: My powers allow me to push attacks away from me.

Nianzol: Or other shopping carts.

Nianzol: Pretty much just free space ahead of me, all the time.

Ichigo: Wow.

Ichigo: This is, like, the first time I’ve ever wished my Quincy powers actually developed!

Nianzol: …pretty sure His Majesty’s heart is breaking somewhere.

Ichigo: I won’t lose sleep over it.