masculinity

I wish that we lived in a world where boys could make daisy chains, enjoy dancing, like pink, and have long hair. I wish boys could play with dolls and pick up books about fairies without having their mothers slap it out of their hands, saying “that’s a girls book, don’t look at that”. I wish we lived in a world where being a man didn’t mean your options were so limited as they are now.
—  gender roles suck #1
Toxic Masculinity

The biggest problem with how contemporary feminists use the concept of toxic masculinity is that they blame the males themselves for it, and they act as though females don’t contribute just as much to the perpetuation of toxic masculinity as males do.

Individual males aren’t to blame for how they’re socialised - that would be victim blaming. Society is the problem. They are raised within that society to meet certain standards and expectations, and it’s relatively rare for a male to escape even some of this subtle (yet perpetual) conditioning. I doubt there’s any man alive that’s managed to avoid it entirely.

And society is controlled by males and females alike: you could even make the argument that - as women are encouraged to be empowered and males are expected to “just take it” - women actually have more influence over shaping society. 

However, that’s neither here nor there. It doesn’t expressly matter which sex has the most influence, what matters is that influence is shattered and these toxic perceptions of what it means to be male are addressed.

And don’t forget that femininity can be equally toxic, and there are many problems within contemporary femininity that need to be addressed as quickly as possible, lest they become even larger and more devastating.

7

We had some sprinkles at work that went past their sell date. So my boss asked me to throw them away…and me being the responsible adult I am…

Posted these pics on twitter though and got all these gay slurs and homophobic responses….which is odd cus i’m straight….either twitter niggas’ masculinity is more fragile than fish bones or colored sugar on lips is some secret passage to becoming gay…….a GAYtway drug.

racefiles.com
When Asian Emasculation Meets Misogyny: On Eddie Huang’s Black Feminist Problem | Race Files

I was an awkward and impressionable pre-pubescent Asian American boy when America’s imagination was captured by a certain William Hung and his off-key 2004 rendition of Ricky Martin’s “She Bangs” on American Idol. That the most visible Asian male mainstream representation of the moment (other than, perhaps, the cartoonified Jackie Chan of the beloved Jackie Chan Adventures) was the butt of a crude national joke, and heir to a long history of Asian male pop culture buffoonery, is indicative of the messages that I and other Asian American young men received, and continue to receive, about our own sexuality and desirability. In the context of romance and sex, we exist for comic relief alone.

The racial emasculation of Asian men in the American imagination is real, it is pervasive, and it is historically-rooted (dating back at least to the 19th century when Chinese migrant men took on “feminized” labor roles in the laundry industry). From pop culture to playground taunts, I doubt that any Asian American man can fully escape the psychological implications of this socialization in undesirability. For me, it remains a personal trope that requires constant unlearning, lest creeping doubts begin to resurface to cloud the way I see myself and my role in romantic and sexual relationships. I speak from personal experience when I say that it has real material and psychological impacts. 

Cut to: the rise of celebrity chef and memoirist Eddie Huang, whose swagger, wit, and taste for controversy has made him one of Asian America’s most visible figures. The unofficial leader and visionary of the “movement of big dick Asians,” Huang’s persona has resonated with Asian Americans tired of being an “invisible” minority, and especially with Asian American men seeking to reclaim and reassert their own masculinity. But when reclaimed masculinity comes in such normative, ultra-hetero packaging, are we doing more harm than help?

Last year, Jenn Fang of Reappropriate.co coined the term “misogynlinity” (masculinity plus misogyny) to explain how, in working to counter their racial emasculation, some Asian American men may seek to reaffirm their own masculinity in problematic ways – namely, by conflating masculinity with misogyny, and practicing “manhood” through the objectification, violation, and conquest of women. Fang points to the popularity of pickup artist/dating coaches amongst Asian American men and the unfortunate tendency for some Asian American men to shame Asian American women who choose to date non-Asian partners as examples of how attempts to counter Asian emasculation can become oppressive forces themselves.

Thus, the trouble with Huang’s “big dick Asian movement,” or with any concerted attempt to address the widespread emasculation of Asian men in American pop culture, is in the framing. Are we critically redefining masculinity? Or are we simply seeking to claim a patriarchal and heterosexist version of American manhood for ourselves?

I have long feared that Eddie Huang falls into the latter camp. His Big Dick Asian Movement is legitimately grounded in the frustration of Asian men in America who have been emasculated, ridiculed, and mocked on movie screens, in classrooms, and on dating sites. But its framing and points of action are centered on a fundamentally misogynist notion of sexual entitlement, encapsulated in Huang’s oft-repeated statement of purpose that “Jet Li gets no pussy” in Romeo Must Die. That Huang grounds his project of Asian American manhood in the attempted subversion of stereotypes of Black male hyper-masculinity and the adoption of hip hop culture cements his project as one that reinscribes, rather than challenges, systems of racial and gendered oppression.

Which is why Huang’s recent and bizarre Twitter tirade against queer Black feminist blogger Mia McKenzie (creator of the blog Black Girl Dangerous) was upsetting, but not particularly surprising. McKenzie asked Huang to clarify a recent statement he had made on Bill Maher’s Real Time that “Asian men have been emasculated so much in America that we’re basically treated like Black women,” with Huang going on to reference OkCupid ratings, in which Asian men and Black women consistently score the lowest.

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See @NakedArtichokes’ Storify to see the exchange in full. 

Though the statistics are well-documented, Huang’s phrasing was poor, and he could easily have been interpreted as using Black women as some sort of inanimate barometer for social oppression. Yet when McKenzie and other Twitter users (primarily women of color) asked Huang to admit that his comments could have been damagingly misinterpreted by his audience, Huang reacted aggressively, calling McKenzie an “idiot,” “wildin,” and, in a telling display of male privilege, attempted to silence McKenzie by calling her “boo” and mockingly asking her out on a date.

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Like McKenzie, I would have liked to give Huang the benefit of the doubt and assumed that the Maher segment was simply a matter of poor phrasing and the pressure of appearing on live television (rather than another instance of using Black oppression to render the experiences of non-black communities of color more visible). But Huang’s response is indicative of the fact that his philosophy of manhood is grounded in sexism, and leverages anti-blackness as a tool for subverting anti-Asian stereotypes. The fact that the success of ABC’s family sitcom Fresh Off The Boat, based on Huang’s memoir of the same name, has rendered Huang one of Asian America’s most visible figures, only compounds my disgust at this recent Twitter exchange.

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I understand the pain and frustration that stems from America’s racist emasculation of Asian men. But if, as in Huang’s practice, reclaiming Asian American masculinity means claiming all the ills of white American manhood – it’s patriarchy, entitlement, heterosexism, and racism – I want nothing to do with it. 

To my fellow Asian American men: can we re-envision Asian American masculinity to be anti-racist, womanist, queer, and liberational beyond our own identities? Can we make space for the criticisms of our women of color peers, and confront the certain privileges and powers that come with being Asian men in America, rather than attempting to use those same privileges to silence and shame those who raise critical questions? Huang’s violent exchange with McKenzie is a reminder that if a movement towards reclaiming Asian masculinity has any place in radical – rather than reactionary – political spaces, we can and must do better.

Societal norms dictate that men should be masculine are powerful. And new University of Washington research finds that men who believe they fall short of those ideals might be prompted to reassert their masculinity in small but significant ways.

The study found that male college students who were given falsely low results on a handgrip strength test exaggerated their height by three-quarters of an inch on average, reported having more romantic relationships, claimed to be more aggressive and athletic, and showed less interest in stereotypically feminine consumer products.

By contrast, men who received average score results, and whose masculinity was therefore not threatened, did not exaggerate those characteristics. The findings, researchers say, underscore the pressure men feel to live up to gender stereotypes and the ways in which they might reinstate a threatened masculinity.

5

Achieving gender equality means liberating everyone from the confines of a patriarchal society. Even with ever-present privilege, men face their own set of destructive barriers that restrict what it means to be a man and how a man can express himself. This is especially true for men who are also members of marginalized groups — like men of color, queer men and men with disabilities.

And it starts with 3 destructive words during childhood.

I will never understand why this website treats masculinity like it’s some kind of inherently bad/toxic thing.

There is nothing wrong with being masculine. If you want to be masculine, then you do that. You be the manliest man on the planet. 

Be so manly that you grow a beard on your foot.

dailydot.com
Dude Stick is chapstick FOR MEN.
The packaging is matte black. It has a 'tactical' grip. Nothing is more manly than this.

Much like how chapstick provides a protective barrier between your lips and the elements, Dude Stick provides a protective barrier between you and any hint of femininity.

Just swipe that Dude Stick across your mouth, allowing its sticky white substance to collect on your lips.

[READ MORE]