And while we credit previous feminists movements for helping to create a society where most sensible people would agree with the statement “women and men are equals,” we lament the fact that we remain light-years away from being able to say that most people believe that femininity is masculinity’s equal.

Julia Serano, Whipping Girl

I think a part of what might help us to achieve this is to make sure that our feminism values femininity. We also need to recognize the ways in which our cultural views of femininity often exclude marginalized women. For white, cis, heterosexual, able-bodied women, it’s relatively easy to either fully embrace or fully reject feminine expression, yet queer women, trans women, fat women, black women, disabled women, etc; their gender expression is much more heavily policed. Their femininity is always either too much or too little. 

We need to value self expression of gender in a way that lets people feel comfortable in their own skin, day to day, without feeling pressured or limited in their options. 

Do you ever feel pressured to be more or less feminine or masculine than you are? What social factors have you noticed that influence this?

Join our discussion at @lets-read-about-feminism

anonymous asked:

Imagine if they visited a beach planet and hunk and lance waste no time getting into in sexy swim wear???. Make it more interesting? they are both doing everything they can to make the others as uncomfortable as possible (pidge has no time for that shit)

sexy swim wear doesn’t exist for guys imo but let me offer an alternative:

everybody has to wear these

anonymous asked:

theyre families always promoted their friendship ( even rhett's dad playing favorites with link as a soccer announcer), link saying his dad always tells him he loves him, link saying i love you to gregg in the kasts, so on and so on prove that they weren't raised with this "toxic masculinity" boogeyman and even after being in LA for 6 years they still chose to go to a church that calls men who have sex with men sinful. they arent beautiful pure boys who rose above the south.

Of course their families promoted their friendship. We were not saying anything to the contrary. The analysis and our resulting commentary was highlighting the issues that were going on in that time period and their possible effects on RandL.

It is obvious that there were huge issues surrounding LBGQT people when RandL were young. You can NOT deny that. And you can NOT deny the fact that fear leads to violence and bigotry. Just because RandL did not mention toxic masculinity or LBGQT issues, does NOT mean that there wasn’t hatred, discrimination and the general idea that people that identify in this way are wrong or immoral. You just have to read what Ethan has written to get a tiny glimpse of what was going on. Not just in the south, everywhere. 

It also, does not mean that there wasn’t a push to conform to whatever standards of masculinity were purposefully or unconsciously set forth in their town and circles of influence.

Let’s put homophobia aside for the time being. And just focus on the state of male relationships in the USA. There is an epidemic of “toxicity masculinity.” How it is looked down upon for men to form close bonds with anyone other than their wife, kids and parents. Even within this, close physical affection between any male, even between parents and kids is looked down upon. Male closeness is NOT celebrated. Male friendship is depicted as a bunch of males drinking and talking about tits in movies and TV shows. It is not best friends seeing each other through life or supporting each other in their endeavors. No, that “type of friendship” is reserved for women. And why is that? Why can’t male friends have that type of relationship? Why can’t male friends hug and touch and be close? Because masculinity has been portrayed in a certain way, as is the measure of what is to be a man. Men can’t cry, be physically affectionate or express feelings and doubt. To act any different to these standards is seen as weird, strange and oftentimes gay.

We are certain two good ole boys from the South were inundated with these images and ideas of what a man is. It is clear in the way they act toward one another in the Kasts. It’s like they are constantly battling between what is ingrained in them of what a man should be and what their hearts are wanting from them.

Just because you don’t see the toxicity, anon, doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist. Just because you are not necessarily put down or oppressed doesn’t mean there isn’t the fear you could be. Just because they did not say they acted a certain way to be accepted or felt the pressure to conform doesn’t mean it never happened.

We find it admirable that even though they were raised in this type of environment where this kind of hate was the norm and where male friendships were not seen as important, that they were able to form the close bonds despite all of that.

 @razle-dazle  @withasideofcrazy

lottie’s updated list of where you can find me:
aka I need an intervention stat

captain jack sparrow
main blog / selective

long john silver
black sails

potc / black sails / doctor who & others
private / low activity

mary read
historical / black sails
private / low activity

My femininity was heavily policed because it was seen as inferior to masculinity.
a note to trans guys traveling on airplanes

please be aware that if you’re binding, it’s likely you’re going to get a pat down. the binder sets off the body scanner, and if you pass, your chest is going to patted down by a male tsa agent. in my experience it’s brief and it’s never given me an issue with the tsa beyond the pat down, but if you’re very uncomfortable about people touching your chest you might want to consider not binding when you go through security