Gender norms are damaging (to me, at least)

Okay so this post is going to be me ranting a lil bit.

I recently told my mom that I want to have my hair short next time I go to the hairdresser, and by short I mean shorn sides and a little longer on top. Her reaction? “Do you want to be a boy or something?”

And this honestly baffled me.

Why can’t I want short hair and be comfortable with my assigned gender at the same time? Why does short hair have to be “masculine” and long hair “feminine”? Why does it even matter? So I told her that I just really like the way short hair looks and I want to try it out, to which she replied: “A feminine short haircut is very different from a masculine one.”

It’s??? Hair??? I told her I don’t care whether my hair conforms to a certain gender norm. In fact, I told her I hate gender stereotypes and I like to be free in what I do and how I present myself; something she just couldn’t seem to fathom. She told me I was becoming “too masculine”, which is problematic in and of itself. Needless to say, she doesn’t approve of me cutting my hair and will do anything in her power to prevent me from doing so.

Which brings me to my point: gender norms are very damaging. Cutting my hair is something I’ve been wanting to do for years now, but I’ve always pushed the idea aside because I, as a female, was supposed to have long hair. And because I thought my mom would literally go mad if I cut it.

My mother likes to pretend to be very open-minded and accepting, but when I finally told her I’m pan, after literal months of dropping progressively less subtle hints, she just looked at me like I was crazy.

Gender norms are damaging because they prevent people from growing as a person. And I’m done with not being able to fully express myself.

I like androgynous people. I like women with short hair, men who wear heels, genderqueer people who do whatever. I admire androgyny and people who are able to express themselves fully regardless of gender norms.

And I want to be like that too.

I want people to look at me and wonder what gender I am. I want people to realize that you don’t have to conform to gender norms. I want people to look at me and think: “Wow, I wish I had the courage to dress like that.”

I want to encourage people to do whatever they want, regardless of gender. And yes, mom, I want to have short hair. Not because I want to be a boy.

It’s just because I like short hair.

anonymous asked:

hello! i think i'm non binary. its hard because so many people don't "believe" in it.. it's like im fighting between who i want to be and who other people want me to be. i feel very strong dysphoria about my chest and its almost physically painful.. im 99% sure that im non binary or gender fluid, and have suspected this since 2015, but i don't know.. any advice?

A lot of people don’t believe that dinosaurs existed even though we have the bones to prove it. 

Some people are too dense to be open minded, pay no mind to them. If you think you are having gender dysphoria there is a good chance you are. From what you’ve explained to me it sounds like you are experiencing dysphoria 100%

My advice to you would be listen to yourself! There is nothing wrong with experimenting with your gender. If someone tells you that you are wrong, ignore them. They don’t know how you feel, they aren’t you.

Be who you feel you are, change your name, dress how you wanna, present as the real you and  be authentic and people will see that, it just takes time.


anonymous asked:

Hey anon from the gotg post. I thought I should inform you that the person who made that Gotg vol 2 and toxic masculintiy post replied to the anon post that I sent you essentially saying that she is proud of a post that demonizes men by relying on a piece of fictional media mind you as proof of a so-called changing tide of toxic masculinity. You're right about fandom gentrification. It's so hard to enjoy anything without these people messing it up for me.

I saw. One of her buddies chimed in whining about “fandom bros”. Are you even a “bro”, anon?

When people call you a “snowflake” just remember they’re quoting Fight Club, a satire written by a gay man about how male fragility causes men to destroy themselves, resent society, and become radicalized, and that Tyler Durden isn’t the hero but a personification of the main character’s mental illness, and that his “snowflake” speech is a dig at how fascists use dehumanizing language to breed loyalty from insecure people.

So basically people who say “snowflake” as an insult are quoting a domestic terrorist who blows up skyscrapers because he’s insecure about how good he is in bed.

  • Seokjin: Oh, I’m sorry. I was looking for the mailman.
  • Jungkook: What? Are you saying I'm not a male man? Is that what you’re trying to say? I’m not male, I’m- I’m not a man? Is that- is that what you’re getting at?
  • Seokjin: Are you crying?
breaking the cycle: gotg2 and the theme of toxic masculinity

It’s taken me, oh, about a month to organize my thoughts on this and they’re still a mess, but I have all these snippets in my head about how GOTG2 deconstructs toxic masculinity, and hey! you’re gonna get them now

Toxic masculinity is basically the concept that socializing men and boys to be a certain ‘masculine’ way, and criticizing them or ridiculing them when they fail to live up to these (often impossible or even abusive) standards, is ultimately harmful to everyone, men and women alike. Ever wonder why you flinch at dudes yelling “man up!” to their crying young sons instead of comforting them? Yeah, that’s why.

Anyway, regarding GOTG: a lot of this stuff revolves around Yondu and the Yondu-Peter relationship, but also (I totally love this) a large portion of it also revolves around a white, straight, able-bodied man who is quite literally called ‘Ego’. spoilers follow, naturally-

Keep reading

I saw Wonder Woman, a film about a superhero who is a woman (unlike a man), and I am shook. I’d heard the kerfuffle over the Alamo Drafthouse offering women-only screenings, and like many of you, I laughed it off. “Who cares?” thought I. “Just a few crazy dames putting on their lipstick and letting the dishes soak while they go have their little hen party, watching a movie about some kickass World War I soldiers and their gal pal. Let ‘em have their fun before they come home. To whom? Daddy, that’s whom. Or who. Whichever is manlier.”

But let me tell you this, dear reader – and by “dear,” I don’t mean “my dear,” like a lady, because men, right now I want you to stop reading this out loud to your little lady. Go have her fix us a nice glass of Scotch. You read this alone. Stop moving your lips so she doesn’t see. Or move to a room she isn’t allowed in, like your tannery / bodybuilding studio. Good. Now that we’re alone, I can warn you: Wonder Woman isn’t about kickass World War I soldiers and their gal pal. It’s about a kickass gal and her World War I buddies. The men … they’re … secondary characters!

At my screening, there was an actual woman dressed as Wonder Woman in the crowd. Whole groups of ladies sat together, unchaperoned and eating food that appeared to not even be low-fat, as though they weren’t concerned with maintaining their figures. There were cheers when Wonder Woman leapt into the fray and fought men. Penis-having men! And she won! Pretty easily!

Brovaries: The True Danger Of The 'Wonder Woman’ Movie

the masculine expression of the signs activates on the basis of knowing the light without mystery. look at aries hollering toward the horizon with absolute certainty tomorrow exists and gemini seeking out every external pursuit to satiate their curiosity. leo knows their own brilliance and overtly displays their creative energy, libra’s own personal condition makes living without people at all difficult, while sagittarius uses the physical world in their search for answers. aquarius knows the knowledge will puncture their psyche soon and their very duty relates to dispersing this light 

in the feminine signs this process is hidden and secretive, what happens is rarely seen. think of taurus absolving away from the world and into the soul of themselves producing art, or pisces undertaking intense spiritual processes through her own body. cancer dreams the disciple’s dream by herself, virgo serves others from the hiding place of the shadow, all of scorpio’s activity occurs in invisible places, capricorn internalises the duties they have inherited and work hard on themselves to create their own reality and undertaking this privately