You mean I’ve missed the obvious this whole time?
YOU GUYS. WHAT THE FUCK. Did you all know this?? That the whole point of the stag night was for John to properly, after all this time, come out to his best friend as bisexual?? Has everyone realized this except for me?! It’s not only about making a “hail mary” pass for Sherlock’s affection (which he absolutely wants) – it was an actual attempt to have an open, honest, tough conversation about John’s sexual orientation. Sober John had this planned – planned and rehearsed. That’s why he was so anxious at the beginning of the event. Why would he be nervous hanging out with his best friend for the night?
Maybe because he had something on his mind? Something he was absolutely going to talk about with Sherlock? Something he wanted to bring up at this very last opportunity?
HE HAD THIS PLANNED. THAT’S WHY HE’S DRINKING. HE’S AFRAID.
The bisexual color scheme behind John isn’t because his sexuality is coming out when he drinks, it’s because he’s drinking as a way to cope with the huge bomb he’s about to drop on Sherlock. Remember, John doesn’t know how Sherlock feels about him – John is going out of his mind with anxiety and is drinking more than he wants Sherlock to ever know because he has to get something off his chest. He has to be open, honest. He has planned for ages that this is how and when he’s going to do it. He’s going to open up about his past.
But then they both get too drunk. John, still planning on dropping two bombs but unsure of how, goes for physical contact.
Now a lot of people see this as John coming on to Sherlock. I really don’t think it is. He loves touching Sherlock, of course he does, but he takes this slip as an opportunity to bring up his “I don’t mind touching men, I’m bisexual, didn’t you know” agenda that’s been burning all night. That doesn’t go exactly as he thought, but they’re both drunk, soooo he tries another way.
He directs the questions. He asks “Am I a woman” and “am I pretty” hoping that Sherlock will get a hang of the game and ask those exact same questions. He even gives Sherlock many more opportunities to ask than is normally allowed in the game. Sherlock, who has his own name on his forehead because John purposefully wanted to be asked questions about how he feels for this man, would’ve heard the answers “no” and “yes” if Sherlock had asked “am I a woman” and then “am I handsome”. That was how the game was supposed to go.
Obviously, things weren’t progressing as they should have, John didn’t get to talk openly and honestly about his feelings for Sherlock and for men in general. This whole wedding season (episode) is about John’s bisexuality, and John fucking knows it. The knee-grope and cozy affection while drunk at Baker Street wasn’t an accident. John had been planning for at least days, if not weeks, that he was going to absolutely bring up his sexuality and feelings for Sherlock. He was going to talk about Sholto. He was going to suck it up, fall flat on his face, and be rejected once again by the man who’s married to his work. The man who doesn’t feel things that way. The stag night was John’s plan. This was absolutely, 100% premeditated and I can’t believe I missed the signs until now.
We watch as John finds out at his wedding Sherlock loves him and is haunted by the fact that if he had just stuck to the plan, he could’ve spared himself loads of heartache.
What a wasted opportunity!