mary mother of sweet baby jesus

yall do not understand how seriously whipped i am for jack fuckin morrison like yall listen i do not give a fuck this country bumpkin chris evans looking gonna invite me to his backyard bbq dilf has got me wrapped around his basic white boy finger i swear to blessed mother Mary holding sweet baby jesus in her arms i am so down to get spicy with every version of this unsalted potato chip, strike commander morrison? daddy. commando 76? camo daddy. daredevil 76? mustache daddy. i dont give a fuck my cold dead gay heart is at his feet yall 

5sos shopping at the mall basically
  • calum: food court FOOD COURT FOOD COURT
  • ashton: guys i see the victoria's secret, destination has been found, repeat, destination has been found
  • mikey: are those video games i see
  • luke: guys we're here to buy new clothes ok
  • calum: PRETZELS MAN OH SWEET BABY JESUS I SMELL PRETZELS OH SWEET SWEET MOTHER MARY I CAN SMELL PRETZELS
  • mikey: game stop makes me horny wait whaaaat
  • ashton: do you see all those sexy ladies in there we have to go in
  • luke: ashton, that's Toy's R Us, and those women are 40 and have kids literally what is wrong with you
  • calum: be honest would i look good in a thong from victoria's secret yes or no
  • ashton: *runs into victoria's secret and takes shirt off*
  • mikey: oh my god these panties are see through what were they thinking when they made these?
  • luke: motherfuck here comes the security i DID NOT SIGN UP FOR THIS SHIT